Marriage Vows ~ No Obey

[Uncle Remus]

As a matter of fact, the Church of England took out the word obey in an attempt to help curb domestic abuse, but I really didn't start the thread to discuss abuse or religion, I'm just curious as to other's vows.

Can't WAIT till August!!

Me either!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YwKRM_835uk

 

[Evil Genius]

My vows in May will be to love honor and obey. I think I said those words the other three times I got married. I'm just an old fashioned girl I guess.

 

[IdesOmarch]

Obey? Not bow down and worship at the alter of his greatness? But seriously I wouldn't expect a woman in all of western civilization to be down with that anymore. I think most men would be happy with "I promise to not continuosly be a B buster and will put on some heels now and again."

 

[ilovemk76]

I don't remember the exact wording of our vow but it was of the form "in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health as long as we both shall live."

We both did "I will love and honor you all the days of my life." I remember that since it was my favorite part.

There was no obey in our vows. DH said he knew that I could not keep that so he never expected me to say that.

 

[Rora]

There was no obeying in our vows!

 

[ohiomom28]

LOL, married 25 years. I seriously can't remember what the heck we said to each other.

LOL I was married last month and I don't remember! I don't think we said it though!

 

[Handbag Lady]

I did not promise to obey at my wedding, either.


I was thrilled to hear Catherine isn't going to do it either. Not that is it my business what they do, I am just glad she has a voice.

 

[tar heel]

I didn't "obey" in 1982.

I liked my ring vow: "I give you this ring as a sign my promise."

 

[ZephyrHawk]

I seriously thought no one did this anymore, and then I heard my cousin make that vow to her husband. She's not the meek little obeying type either, so it must have been just to please someone in the family or the clergy. It was kind of a shocker. I was a BM and DH (who was still just DBF) was sitting near the front pews with my parents. I gotta tell you, my eyes automatically shot to him from where I was standing near the altar and the message in them was clear. "Don't even consider it buddy."

 

[Pooh67_68]

LOL, married 25 years. I seriously can't remember what the heck we said to each other.

Same here, but i do remember asking the pastor about "obey" and she said that she doesn't do it unless the couple ask for it. We did not ask for it.

 

[hereyago]

. I gotta tell you, my eyes automatically shot to him from where I was standing near the altar and the message in them was clear. "Don't even consider it buddy."

When I got married about 14 years ago, I told the JOP, hey there is no obeying in this ceremony. He laughed and said that his service doesn't have it in there anyway.

 

[JLiz]

My husband and I are avid rock climbers so we changed ours to "love, honor, and belay". We liked the play on words. By the way, to belay is to hold the ropes on the ground while your partner is up on the rock face so that if they should fall, you'll catch them. Both literally, and figuratively.

 

[A_Princess'_Daddy]

Let me begin by stating that I definitely did not want my wife to say "obey" in our vows, and even if I had, there was no way that she would have said it. That having been said, our priest told us back in 2001 that in the Archdiocese of Boston, at least, they no longer included obey unless it was specifically "demanded". He went on to say that if it was just "requested" or if somebody asked about it out of tradition, they discouraged it.

None of my friends (and I run in a very strongly Catholic crowd with many traditionalist friends) included it in their vows, either. It really does seem archaic.

 

[antmaril]

My late husband and I were married in 1974. I did not promise to "obey". Our vows went like this:

I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. I will love you and honor you all the days of my life.

 

[Goofyluver]

I seriously thought no one did this anymore, and then I heard my cousin make that vow to her husband. She's not the meek little obeying type either, so it must have been just to please someone in the family or the clergy. It was kind of a shocker. I was a BM and DH (who was still just DBF) was sitting near the front pews with my parents. I gotta tell you, my eyes automatically shot to him from where I was standing near the altar and the message in them was clear. "Don't even consider it buddy."

Love it.

 

[VAfamily1998]

We got married in the Catholic church in 1998, and used the standard vows. "Obey" was not part of the standard vows. Both of us did promise to "honor"...

 

[KristenF]

I didnt realize so many people avoided that word?! Interesting.

 

[shortbun]

No one even asked me. We're Episcopalians, lol!

 

[disykat]

The word obey never even came up. I actually don't have a problem with it -as long as both people say it. I do know we both made the exact same vow.

When obey was part of the vows, did only the wife make that promise?

 

[Andtototoo]

We were married in 1983 in a Roman Catholic church. I wanted a JP wedding and we "compromised" by having a Catholic ceremony, but no mass. My deal-breaker, however, was obey. Neither of us wanted it, but I made it quite clear that if the priest insisted, we would not be getting married in the Catholic church. Period. The notion actually makes me nauseous. The priest told us that the word had not been included for quite some time, anyway.