Marble Rye Episode of Seinfeld

[chipsgirl1030]

What if the soup has crackers in it?

Oh, that's okay. Or if it's a hearty soup, like a gumbo.

 

[TipsyTraveler]

I've always been told it's poor etiquette to bring a dish to someone's home when they're hosting a meal unless specifically asked to do so. (I also think asking your guests to supply food is in poor taste but that's another thread). IIRC, Miss Manners even says bringing flowers is a no-no because it requires the host(ess) to stop what they're doing, find and fill a vase, cut stems, etc.

I hosted a Christmas brunch this year. Included in the invitation was a note saying that it wasn't necessary to bring anything, we would be providing all food and drinks. When people later asked us directly if they should bring anything, we again said no.

One guest showed up with the largest fruit platter known to man. I had to stop what I was doing -- at a time where I had a million other things I needed to be attending to -- and rearrange an already over-crowded table to try and make space for this monstrosity. People stood around picking off of it for the half hour until brunch was ready, meaning they weren't as hungry when it was time to eat. No one touched the fruit platter I had prepared because they'd already had their fill of fruit. Literally, not one grape was taken and I ended up with more leftovers than I would've otherwise.

I know the guest thought she was being nice by bringing it, and I smiled and thanked her, but no, her contribution was not appreciated.

 

[Gumbo4x4]

Oh, that's okay. Or if it's a hearty soup, like a gumbo.

No soup for you!!!

 

[Luvstotravel]

Your link to a Miss Manners column says that it's rude to bring food. Fine. Okay. What does she say you should do in response? When faced with an unexpected food dish, what does Miss Manners say you should do?

 

[Skywalker]

The menu was put together as I wanted, and I expressly said not to bring food or drinks. My party, my rules. You want to make food for a party? Have your own party.

The hostess with the mostesst lol. Your parties must be a blast.
Seriously, I can't imagine feeling so smug about someone leaving your party with hurt feelings because they broke your rules. They may have been rude by bringing a dish, but I think you were ruder by not serving it.

My aunt was true wonderful hostess, she would never intentionally hurt someone. In fact I have seen her put out the most awful dishes that people brought, with her best silverware and a smile. Not sure if she felt put out but she NEVER showed it.

Props to TipsyTraveler for serving what her guest brought.

 

[MariDisney]

I have two questions. Is a noodle salad the same as a pasta salad or macaroni salad (both are the same to me)? I never heard the term.

I'm curious how one words an invitation asking people NOT to bring something or indicating that the food and drink is covered. I assume when I get an invitation that that is the case. But is sounds like the OP included in the invitation.

IMHO it was rude of the guest to bring food if she was specifically asked not to. I think it was 10 times ruder not to put it out.

 

[Bluestars]

This wasn't a casual last minute get-together, it was a Xmas dinner party with 30+ other guests. No one else brought food, and some did bring wine which, as a previous poster made reference to, was brought expressly as a gift and was easily put away without serving it, just like her noodle dish was. No hypocrisy here.

The menu was put together as I wanted, and I expressly said not to bring food or drinks. My party, my rules. You want to make food for a party? Have your own party. Also, what about everyone else at the party who, upon seeing that one guest brought something, now felt guilty that they didn't? Yeah...no thanks.

Heck, even Ms. Manners agrees with me:

http://www.dispatch.com/content/sto...st-offers-dinner-its-rude-to-supply-food.html

Everyone's entitled to their own opinion, I'm completely at peace with mine.

That seems very harsh to act this way toward someone who comes to your party. What would it have hurt to put the dish out and announce that so and so brought it? My gosh. You sound like the party Nazi.

 

[LBIJim]

Wine is different. It can easily be put away for later if it does not go well with the planned meal. It is a gift for the hostess.

Let me be clear. I am not talking about pot lucks or when someone honestly doesn't realize bringing a dish is a no no. I am talking about when it's a DINNER PARTY, meaning the hostess has the entire meal under control and needs no assistance.

When a woman plans a dinner party, (not a pot luck) she puts thought into the menu and how each item goes with the others. She is hosting...Meaning, she wants to provide for the needs of her guests in a nurturing way. A great deal of thought, planning and work likely went into her effort.

The someone shows up with their "signature" noodle dish, which has zilch to do with the planned menu. Really, about 50% of the time, the cynic in me says people who must bring a dish to share want to get compliments on that dish and make it about them. (Again, not talking an innocent mistake or a pot luck dinner.) And that is indeed rude to the hostess. It takes away from her efforts. She has made the effort to host a dinner party so clearly, she is capable of providing all the food her guests require. To bring in unwanted, unrequested food is a subtle statement that her dinner is not quite sufficient. And that is why you don't being food.

There really are reasons for these rules. If you bring food and the hostess puts it away, then don't get in a snit. YOU crossed the line and messed up, perhaps accidentally. But you did, in fact, mess up. If you just brought a dish to be nice, why should you care if they serve it now or eat it later? If it has to be served THAT NIGHT, then it is about you and not about being helpful to the hostess.[/QUOTE]



Looks like there's a handful of Marie Barones on this thread, including one who's 10 times worse than even Marie ever dared to be.

Just make sure you have enough food to provide energy to compete in the feats of strength. I'd tell you to have soup, but soup's not a meal.

Maybe not consommé, but a hearty beef mushroom barley soup qualifies.

I definitely would serve the marbled rye however, I may have an issue with said person eating the pastry at the top of the trash can.

Not me....I've done stuff like that....I agree with George on this one. It only had a dainty little bite taken out of it, it was still on the doily, and it was ABOVE the level of the rest of the trash. Perfectly good and edible. (I was going to reference this when I said "I've done worse" in the finger licking thread.)

No soup for you!!!

The Soup Nazi was on Monday night, I believe.

 

[LBIJim]

When I saw the title, I thought this might have been about horse toots...wow, was I wrong...

Sorry if I misled you......but I think I would have posted on the finger-licking thread if I wanted to talk about horse toots. There seems to be a fart sub-thread going on over there.

 

[LBIJim]

Your link to a Miss Manners column says that it's rude to bring food. Fine. Okay. What does she say you should do in response? When faced with an unexpected food dish, what does Miss Manners say you should do?

You smile and thank the guest, tell her you'll be delighted to try it later, and then throw it out after the guest leaves. Then lie and say it was delicious if the guest ever asks about it.

 

[NotUrsula]

The simple answer is, it's a class thing.

I've personally never encountered a working-class party that was anything but a free-for-all in terms of food. Some people bring things, some don't; no one care, but any and all food is shared -- it's all about sharing a good time and breaking bread together. (Now, COOKING at the site of the party is always something that needs to be cleared in advance with the host, no matter who you are.) IME, most women will feel obligated to help either cook or clean if they didn't bring any food or drink to share. (Men, less so. The genders tend to split off at working-class parties, and unless the event involves cooking outdoors, the men are less likely to be involved with the food at all.)

True dinner parties, with traditional "hostess gifts" are more of a middle- and upper-class style of gathering. The trick of them is that though you don't bring anything to share, you are expected to reciprocate by inviting the hosts to a similar gathering of your own sometime soon ... which is why the traditional dinner party is dying. It's a whole lot less trouble to reciprocate with a dish than to reciprocate with another party.

The joke of the whole George/Susan romance was always about class differences and George's total ignorance about upper-middle-class norms.

 

[disney4us2002]

If someone brings a dish to share to a gathering, I guess it probably is rude if the host/hostess doesn't put the dish out w/ the other items. As a host/hostess, you're supposed to make each guest feel welcome & comfortable.

However, it's equally rude to bring a dish when you've specifically been told that there's no need.

Casual family & friend get-togethers where it's the norm & even assumed that everyone will come w/ a dish is different, & potlucks are different, of course, as well.

When I plan an event, I plan a specific menu to go w/ the event. I don't want extra random dishes.

For example, for the past few years, we've done "themed" Christmas dinners. In 2012, we had an Italian-themed dinner, &, in 2013, our Christmas dinner was based on Disney's 'Ohana restaurant.

This past Christmas, our Christmas dinner was "Christmas in the Bayou." We served Emeril Lagasse's Crispy Redfish & Chicken, Turkey & Andouille Sausage Gumbo, Cheese Grits, Cajun Stir-fried Green Beans, Baked Yams, Creole Cranberry Relish, & Grilled French Bread.

I can think of A LOT of dishes that wouldn't have worked w/ our menu. Additionally, I plan out the serving dishes & spoons/forks we'll be using & where each dish will go on the buffet.

When both my mother & my mother-in-law asked me if they could bring anything, I politely declined & said we had everything covered. Because we're southern, they both couldn't just come w/o bringing something, so my mom came in the door w/ a cute little gingerbread figurine, & my mother-in-law came w/ a tin of homemade Christmas candies & treats.

Those are the kinds of things you bring when you're invited to a dinner party - wine, chocolates, a basket of tea, candles, etc. You don't bring a prepared food item to "add" to the host or hostess's already planned meal.

A casual get together where everyone brings a dish is completely different from a dinner party or other similar event - especially if the person has already said, "No, we've got everything covered. Just please come & enjoy yourselves."

Perhaps this is why someone would bring a dish they want to eat. Other than the bread, there is not a thing I would've eaten at your xmas party this year. Certainly, not your fault that I'm NOT a fan of cajun food but is it ruder to not eat what your host serves or to bring your own "safe" food?

Wine is a gift for the host/ess, a prepared dish is meant to share and I'm in the camp that believes it rude not to serve it. Menu clashes be damned, lol. It's a dinner party, not a freaking wedding....

 

[Laugh O. Grams]

Perhaps this is why someone would bring a dish they want to eat. Other than the bread, there is not a thing I would've eaten at your xmas party this year. Certainly, not your fault that I'm NOT a fan of cajun food but is it ruder to not eat what your host serves or to bring your own "safe" food?

Wine is a gift for the host/ess, a prepared dish is meant to share and I'm in the camp that believes it rude not to serve it. Menu clashes be damned, lol. It's a dinner party, not a freaking wedding....

LOL So I'm lead to believe that showing up at a dinner party and bringing your own food because you might hate the food served is the polite route? Good grief!

Plain and simple, I was serving standing rib roast and turkey with all the traditional sides and she brought a mayo-based macaroni salad that would better be served with hotdogs at a picnic. Sorry, but that's not hitting the table on principle alone. I graciously thanked her and put it away. Its a dinner party, not a potluck. It's just that simple.

The simple answer is, it's a class thing.

I've personally never encountered a working-class party that was anything but a free-for-all in terms of food. Some people bring things, some don't; no one care, but any and all food is shared -- it's all about sharing a good time and breaking bread together. (Now, COOKING at the site of the party is always something that needs to be cleared in advance with the host, no matter who you are.) IME, most women will feel obligated to help either cook or clean if they didn't bring any food or drink to share. (Men, less so. The genders tend to split off at working-class parties, and unless the event involves cooking outdoors, the men are less likely to be involved with the food at all.)

True dinner parties, with traditional "hostess gifts" are more of a middle- and upper-class style of gathering. The trick of them is that though you don't bring anything to share, you are expected to reciprocate by inviting the hosts to a similar gathering of your own sometime soon ... which is why the traditional dinner party is dying. It's a whole lot less trouble to reciprocate with a dish than to reciprocate with another party.

The joke of the whole George/Susan romance was always about class differences and George's total ignorance about upper-middle-class norms.

Absolutely!

 

[lovemygoofy]

The simple answer is, it's a class thing.

I've personally never encountered a working-class party that was anything but a free-for-all in terms of food. Some people bring things, some don't; no one care, but any and all food is shared -- it's all about sharing a good time and breaking bread together. (Now, COOKING at the site of the party is always something that needs to be cleared in advance with the host, no matter who you are.) IME, most women will feel obligated to help either cook or clean if they didn't bring any food or drink to share. (Men, less so. The genders tend to split off at working-class parties, and unless the event involves cooking outdoors, the men are less likely to be involved with the food at all.)

True dinner parties, with traditional "hostess gifts" are more of a middle- and upper-class style of gathering. The trick of them is that though you don't bring anything to share, you are expected to reciprocate by inviting the hosts to a similar gathering of your own sometime soon ... which is why the traditional dinner party is dying. It's a whole lot less trouble to reciprocate with a dish than to reciprocate with another party.

The joke of the whole George/Susan romance was always about class differences and George's total ignorance about upper-middle-class norms.

It could be a class thing but I think it's more what people are taught now as well. One of the first classes I took when I married my husband was an customs and courtesy class regarding military events.

I was taught and still use now that if I am invited for a dinner party and told to bring no food, I do not bring food. I bring a hostess gift. The class instructor made it clear should you bring a food to a party where it was expressed no food needed to be brought then it is considered a hostess gift and would be put away for enjoyment by the host/ess at a later time.

 

[Laugh O. Grams]

It could be a class thing but I think it's more what people are taught now as well. One of the first classes I took when I married my husband was an customs and courtesy class regarding military events.

I was taught and still use now that if I am invited for a dinner party and told to bring no food, I do not bring food. I bring a hostess gift. The class instructor made it clear should you bring a food to a party where it was expressed no food needed to be brought then it is considered a hostess gift and would be put away for enjoyment by the host/ess at a later time.

What Tina said! What's up, girl?

 

[lovemygoofy]

What Tina said! What's up, girl?

Next time I'm in MI, I expect a dinner party in my honor and I'm not bringing a damn thing

 

[Laugh O. Grams]

Next time I'm in MI, I expect a dinner party in my honor and I'm not bringing a damn thing

You know I'll put it in the fridge if you do!

 

[Skywalker]

The simple answer is, it's a class thing.

I've personally never encountered a working-class party that was anything but a free-for-all in terms of food. Some people bring things, some don't; no one care, but any and all food is shared -- it's all about sharing a good time and breaking bread together. (Now, COOKING at the site of the party is always something that needs to be cleared in advance with the host, no matter who you are.) IME, most women will feel obligated to help either cook or clean if they didn't bring any food or drink to share. (Men, less so. The genders tend to split off at working-class parties, and unless the event involves cooking outdoors, the men are less likely to be involved with the food at all.)

True dinner parties, with traditional "hostess gifts" are more of a middle- and upper-class style of gathering. The trick of them is that though you don't bring anything to share, you are expected to reciprocate by inviting the hosts to a similar gathering of your own sometime soon ... which is why the traditional dinner party is dying. It's a whole lot less trouble to reciprocate with a dish than to reciprocate with another party.

The joke of the whole George/Susan romance was always about class differences and George's total ignorance about upper-middle-class norms.

LOL So if I host a potluck I am working class that day, but I host a true dinner party then I am upper middle class that day? What am I when I just eat with my family around the table? I call B.S. It is not a "class thing". Anyone can have any style of party, most people I know have had or been to both kinds, along with barbecues, picnics and everything in between. And no matter what "class" you think you are....being a gracious host is an asset. Gracious includes never making your guests feel like idiots, not a very high bar really.

 

[NewRVLady]

This past Christmas, our Christmas dinner was "Christmas in the Bayou." We served Emeril Lagasse's Crispy Redfish & Chicken, Turkey & Andouille Sausage Gumbo, Cheese Grits, Cajun Stir-fried Green Beans, Baked Yams, Creole Cranberry Relish, & Grilled French Bread.

."

Please tell me this doesn't have tabasco or hot sauce in it

I am a native of this culture/cuisine and we serve the same ol cranberry sauce everybody in the USA eats

 

[Wendy31]

Perhaps this is why someone would bring a dish they want to eat. Other than the bread, there is not a thing I would've eaten at your xmas party this year. Certainly, not your fault that I'm NOT a fan of cajun food but is it ruder to not eat what your host serves or to bring your own "safe" food?

Wine is a gift for the host/ess, a prepared dish is meant to share and I'm in the camp that believes it rude not to serve it. Menu clashes be damned, lol. It's a dinner party, not a freaking wedding....

Well, yes... but, when DH & I planned the menu, we knew who our guests would be, & we knew they would enjoy the food. My mom doesn't like really spicy things, so, for instance, on the Cajun Stir Fried Green Beans, I didn't put as much Cayenne Pepper in them as the recipe listed.

The whole reason for the menu (I started a thread on it actually asking for help w/ beignets) was because DH had gone on a fishing trip w/ my Dad to Louisiana in the fall. We were serving some of the fish they caught.

Everyone loved the food. My BIL went back for thirds on the gumbo.

But, no, I wouldn't want to serve a whole menu where someone wouldn't be able to find something they could eat. That was one reason we served chicken in addition to the fish.

LOL So I'm lead to believe that showing up at a dinner party and bringing your own food because you might hate the food served is the polite route? Good grief!

Plain and simple, I was serving standing rib roast and turkey with all the traditional sides and she brought a mayo-based macaroni salad that would better be served with hotdogs at a picnic. Sorry, but that's not hitting the table on principle alone. I graciously thanked her and put it away. Its a dinner party, not a potluck. It's just that simple.

Absolutely!

LOL! We've done a standing rib roast twice before for Christmas dinner. My MIL LOVES when we do the standing rib roasts. This year, after our "Christmas in the Bayou" dinner was over, she said she didn't know which she liked better - Our Crown Rib Roast dinner or our Cajun dinner.

But, yes, when we've done the standing rib roast, we've served sides like a Cranberry Bacon Wild Rice Stuffing, Cream Cheese Mashed Potatoes, Sweet Potato Souffle in Orange Cups, Green Bean Almondine, a Green Salad w/ a Pear Vinaigrette, etc.

A cold macaroni salad wouldn't have gone w/ our meal, & I wouldn't have appreciated it if anyone had brought one. (But, sorry, I probably still would have served it, even though it would have irritated me...)

Please tell me this doesn't have tabasco or hot sauce in it

I am a native of this culture/cuisine and we serve the same ol cranberry sauce everybody in the USA eats

No tabasco sauce or hot sauce! But it did make a TON. We froze some of the leftovers. It was really good too!

We're in the south but not from Louisiana. So, when we were first coming up w/ the menu, I did a google search for traditional Louisiana holiday dishes, & I found a couple of different sites. On a catering site from a restaurant in Louisiana, I found the recipe for the relish.

Creole Cranberry Relish

INGREDIENTS -
2 LOUISIANA NAVEL ORANGES
2 QUARTS FRESH CRANBERRIES
1/4 LB BUTTER
3/4 CUP MARUKAN RICE VINEGAR
4 CUPS BROWN SUGAR
1 LB RAISINS
1 TBSP RED PEPPER FLAKES
2 STICKS WHOLE CINNAMON
1 TSP NUTMEG
1 CUP DRY WHITE WINE

METHOD -
Use a zester and zest the orange rinds, mince fine and add to a 6 quart sauce pan. Cut the oranges in half, squeeze orange juice into the sauce pan. Combine all remaining ingredients and over medium heat bring to a slow boil, stir often. Continue for 10 minutes or until the cranberries pop open. Remove from heat, and allow to cool.