Major Vent-and the Reason that I'm Going to Go For Custody After All

[aahmom1]

Oh my gosh. Somebody lock this thread!

I don't think it should be closed.

 

[becka]

I thought I had read some threads about your situation that you have posted in the recent week or so but I wanted to make sure that I did not confuse you with someone else so I thought I had better do a search to make sure I was not wrong.

From: Has anyone heard of the PALS test?

It's a test that was given to Jessica in Kindergarten. They give it to the kids at the beginning of the year so the teacher knows where they are as far as skills are concerned and then at the end of the year to see how much they have learned. Thom got her results today and she did exceptionally well.

You know about the skills test schedule and your ex shares the great scores with you but he lies about p/t conferences and school pictures?

In this thread you said that you and your Mom took him out to lunch and for ice cream and had a cake for his birthday but a week ago you told us that he had a 102 degree fever on his birthday.

Three Years Ago Today


Sometimes I can't always follow your stories on your threads.

 

[aahmom1]

Sometimes I can't always follow your stories on your threads.

I feel your pain Becka.

 

[honeywolf7]

There's a big difference between him telling me about the tests after the conference took place and him telling me about the chance for the conference ahead of time. My mom and I took him out "for" his birthday not ON his birthday....we actually took him out on Saturday.

 

[Tiggeroo]

Do you like your ex-husband? Who do you think your kids will be like if they live with him for 18+years? If the story about abuse is true, even if he never laid a hand on the kids, by witnessing his behavior they will grow up to do the same to those around you. If your ex doesn't respect you and the kids live with him, eventually they won't respect you either. What will happen is your children will grow up and want nothing to do with you. I can't imagine anything worst to a child then their mother abandoning them, even to a good home.
About the schooling. I read your schedule for the upcoming semester. It just seems like a bunch of crap. Not the sort of schedule a woman who is looking for a quick way to take care of her children and get away from a bad situation would have. Women's studies, please. There are some degrees and areas of study that are only going to lead to low paying jobs, or jobs that have nothing to do with your major. I was going to say that then but didn't
If you took a quick LPN course around here, you could start working quickly, and most hospitals will pay for your nursing school plus some living expense money. Imagine, in 2 years you could be living comfortably. That's just one possibility.
Possible better things to do: Find another single mom and split a home with her. Locate low income housing. Get the best paying job you can, and make your school schedule work around it. Meet with a social worker for help. Use your computer to search fro scholarships for non-traditional students. Forever people have had to work their way thru college. If you need training to get a job, go to the local community college and learn about careers that require only a two year degree. Eventually you will have an employer who actually will pay you to get that four year degree. Be the sort of person you would want your daughter to be.
I am sorry to come off so nasty, but I can't stand when adults drag their kids thru all of their crap. I don't know if you will get custody of your kids back. Imagine telling a judge that you left your kids and went off to live with a bunch of 18yo's in a college dorm and are taking the sort of classes you have, with what seems like no short term carreer goals. Could your husband keep the kids if he was doing what you are?
Given your income, I am assuming you pay nothing for your college tuition. If not you would at a community college. All you need to do is earn enough to support your kids.

 

[AirForceRocks]

*Stands, claps, whistles and cheers for tiggeroo*

 

[aahmom1]

I read your schedule for the upcoming semester. It just seems like a bunch of crap. Not the sort of schedule a woman who is looking for a quick way to take care of her children and get away from a bad situation would have.

This was the schedule, it looked to me like you were more concerned with Roger than the kids.

During winter break, I'm taking Human S*xuality (it meets from 9 AM until 2 PM every day except Sundays and New Year's Day from December 28th until January 9th)....Then during the semester, I'm taking: Statistics, Personality and Behavior of African-Americans, Sociology of Racism, Intro to Stage Performance, and World Regions.

What does Personality and Behavior of African-Americans, Sociology of Racism, Intro to Stage Performance, and World Regions have to do with Women's studies? Maybe you should take a couple of child rearing classes, or Intro into Adulthood.

 

[wvjules]

but I do want to be told the best way to go about getting the kids from someone who doesn't deserve them.

I'm not sure how I feel about the word "deserve". Is that what it is, you think you deserve the children? No one deserves to have their children. Raising them and taking care of them is an honor!!!!!!

I'm not going to say whether I believe the abuse story or not, but one thing I can say about Thom is that he didn't abandon his children for a care-free college life. Good guy or bad guy, I can't really say, but I can't help but think he is trying to do right by the children and all you did was leave them.

 

[honeywolf7]

Tiggeroo, you obviously didn't read very well. Not only is my major NOT Women's Studies, but I'm not even taking any Women's Studies classes this semester. I do NOT live in a dorm...I live in an apartment with roommates. I would love to be a nurse (actually, it was my first choice of career), but I don't know of any places around here that offer LPN training.

 

[AirForceRocks]

*Stands, claps, whistles and cheers for aahmom*

 

[LunarLady]

Originally posted by honeywolf7
I don't want sympathy, but I do want to be told the best way to go about getting the kids from someone who doesn't deserve them.

I think this statement says it all. I've also been following this story and, like Ahmom, or Riplysmom (I can't remember which now), I didn't hear of any abuse until the birthday party thing.

I'm also confused about another thing: you left him because he was talking online to another woman for two years and that was bad, but you've known Roger for two years and that's not bad. Seems to me they're the same thing.

My advice would be to give up custody permanently and live your life. I know of a few mothers who begrudge their children the "hell of a pregnancy" they went through. Typically, children of that type of mother that I knew left the nest as soon as possible to get away from them. They rarely have any interraction with their mothers now.

 

[SilverLily]

Originally posted by honeywolf7
I would love to be a nurse (actually, it was my first choice of career), but I don't know of any places around here that offer LPN training.

There you go again! "I would love to (fill in the blank) but I don't know how to". So start using that wonderful internet connection you have to READ about it! Call some schools! Talk to an academic advisor! Do something about it! Information is not going to fall into your lap.

 

[AirForceRocks]

would love to be a nurse (actually, it was my first choice of career), but I don't know of any places around here that offer LPN training.

Here you go - there is lots of information at this link about nursing (including LPN) training and careers in the Richmond, VA area.

Good luck on your new career path!!


http://www.timesdispatch.com/jobmags/MGB3VTQJRYC.html

 

[honeywolf7]

I totally don't begrudge Bobby because of the pregnancy but I did go through an extremely rough pregnancy. Thom didn't....and that's all there is to that. The reason it's not the same is that I was NOT talking in the same way to Roger that he was to Linda. We were JUST friends, plain and simple until Thom and I separated. Yes, Roger was interested; no, we didn't act on it. Also, even if we had been Thom started talking to Linda and telling me that she was better than me two months before I even met Roger.

 

[SilverLily]

Well, thanks to AirForceRocks, some information did just fall into your lap. But something tells me you won't follow through with it.

 

[aahmom1]

"hell of a pregnancy"

I literally puked every day for 7 months with my first and I wouldn't characterize it as 'hell' because it was so very worth it.

With my second I could barely walk the last 2 months, wouldn't characterize it as 'hell'.

My third pregnancy was pretty easy except for when I started to bleed and felt sheer fear at the thought of what was happening to my baby. That I would characterize as 'hell'. There is no worse fear than not knowing what is happening, but it wasn't 'hell' being pregnant.

 

[LunarLady]

Originally posted by honeywolf7
Yes, Roger was interested; no, we didn't act on it. Also, even if we had been Thom started talking to Linda and telling me that she was better than me two months before I even met Roger.

Good lord! Two whole months, eh? Wow. So that makes what you're doing right, huh?

My advice is to turn over full custody to Thom and pretend that you never had kids. Go. Live your life. Do NOT try to confuse those kids anymore. From where I'm standing, they look more like pawns than children anyway.

 

[honeywolf7]

AFR, as much as I have disliked you in the past, I really, really have to thank you for that link. I just called the woman in charge of the program. It's an 18 month program that costs $2400 and they are approved for the Pell Grant as well as Student Loans. The $2400 covers everything from uniforms to books to tuition.
Lunarlady....there is a big difference because Roger and I didn't do anything improper while I was married. Thom did. NO, I will not turn complete custody of the children over to Thom because he will not raise them in the way he should be raised. Aahmom, I say it was "hell" because I not only went through heartburn, but I also had the problems walking (because I have a bad hip...it was broken when I was 5) and I had a kidney stone the entire last month of my pregnancy. When they went to do the c-section, the epidural would not work (they tried to insert it about 5 times before they finally got it to work on both sides.)

 

[becka]

Originally posted by honeywolf7
Tiggeroo, you obviously didn't read very well. Not only is my major NOT Women's Studies, but I'm not even taking any Women's Studies classes this semester. I do NOT live in a dorm...I live in an apartment with roommates. I would love to be a nurse (actually, it was my first choice of career), but I don't know of any places around here that offer LPN training.

Well if you major is not Women's Studies then what is it? I think I saw something about you mentioning forensics but from the classes you are taking that doesn't look right? Are you undeclared right now? Have you finished your core courses like English Comp, U.S./World History, College Algebra, Intro to Psych, etc. and are now just taking entry level classes for various degrees? LPN would be a good career track and even if you have not located a good school for LPN yet you could be doing yourself a favor by taking biology, anatomy, basic chemistry, algebra, etc. next semester to prepare yourself for nursing school. Those classes will help you a great deal more than a course in Stage Performance or Sociology of Racism.

 

[aahmom1]

All that information in 6 minutes? Just think if you would have done that 6 months ago.