Lulu201's Healthy Living Log (comments welcome!)

[lulu201]

First of all, let me start this day off with a Steph, Beth, Amanda, Doreen--your care and concern mean the world to me, and as I sit here in the D-Zone (day 24, don't 'cha know), totally whipped from the week thus far, your TLC brings a tear to my eye.
It's a tear of gratitude for all the love you so freely give. Thanks, girls, I appreciate all of you so much.

I'm hanging in there, I'm happy to say, but I'm beginning to feel weary of body. Today I'm not exercising--I have some kind of muscle strain in my right leg--and it's just as well, I need a bit of rest. Tomorrow I plan to hit it hard; maybe with some bike riding early in the morning, after I get DD off to school. Hmmm, now that I think about it, maybe I'll do it BEFORE school if it's warm enough. I love to be up early to greet the day. I have to confess, though, I don't like to wear a helmet when I'm riding alone, but last week our pastor at church had a serious bike accident (he had a helmet, thank goodness) and fractured all kinds of bones in his face. After hearing about that, I'm motivated to wear mine--what would've happened if he hadn't had it? All you bikers out there, please be safe!

I'd like to "weigh in" on Amanda's discussion about compulsive eating--this is definitely my problem. My psychological relationship with food. . .I don't know how it all came to be and I don't know where to begin to unravel it, but I'm hoping that during the next few months I'll gain some insights through reading and self-examination. I do think that my goals for May will focus on a "one day at a time" mentality that encourages abstinance (sp) from binge eating. Years ago I went to an Overeaters Anonymous meeting and didn't really think it was for me, but I know there's some connection there and I have to explore it further. So much of what I've learned on this journey: that I need to rely on God, that I need a daily plan, that I should only focus on one day, that I need accountability and support from my friends--all of those elements are part of the OA 12-step program. I want to thank Amanda and Lisa Z. for talking about compulsive eating on Amanda's journal thread; it's encouraging me to look at my own situation.

So, here I am, ready to start a new day. The is shining, and though I'm tired, I'm grateful and happy to be doing what I love.

Yesterday:

1. 8/13
2. 7/13
3. 8/13
4. 7/13

Today:

1. Gotta take those vitamins
2. Gotta drink the water
3. No exercise other than teaching my preschool classes. Those little guys do keep me hopping!
4. B--oatmeal and coffee=5
S--1/2 grapefruit=1
L--leftover buffalo chicken salad=11
S--cheesestick=2
D--sandwich=5
veggies=0
Dessert=s.f. jello?

22 target, 2 flex (that will leave 23 in the bank)

I'm going to walk off into the day now. Bye!
Erin

Edit:

Final stats from today:

1. 9/13
2. 8/13
3. 8/13
4. 8/13

DH and I ended up going out to Bertucci's for lunch. The sandwich that I had was also my dinner. I couldn't really count points, so I don't know how many I ate, but I don't care. The victory was that I didn't binge! I took over half of my meal for dinner and didn't use the day as an excuse to go off plan and eat whatever I wanted (and believe me, it's easy for me to grab that excuse when I'm tired and in the D-zone).

I'm going to bed happy tonight and satisfied that I treated myself well today.

Erin

 

[DoeWDW]

You really did do great yesterday, Erin!! You should be so proud of you for being true to yourself and making good choices!!

Did you get your bike ride in this morning? It had to be the perfect morning for a bike ride - sunny, blue skies, moderate temps, blooming trees and flowers. "This is the day that the Lord hath made, let us rejoice and be glad in it!" It's easy to rejoice on a beautiful day like today!

It's Friday! :happy2: I hope you've got some Erin-time planned into your weekend. Hopefully Sunday will truly be a day of rest, after all the musician duties are fulfilled at church.

Have a sunny day, Erin!!

and

 

[lulu201]

Warning: this post may be even longer than usual!

Good morning, everyone! What a beautiful day it is! I haven't been out on my bike yet, but I'm going to head out after I finish doing a little WISHing.

Doreen. I'm going to stop over and wish you a good day in a few minutes, but I saw your post to my journal and had to come right away to read it. YAY, it's FRIDAY!:happy2: :happy2:
We're celebrating together!

We're all looking forward to the weekend here. . .DD has to sing at the shore, so DH and I are going along for the concerts, and then a day on the boardwalk and on the beach. We can't wait; we just love the shore! The weather is supposed to be nice, so we're packing our lunch, our beach chairs and our books and are hoping for some hours of restful, healing time with the sun and the sound of the waves. We're taking the day off from church on Sunday as DD will have two girlfriends coming home with her on Saturday night. In the afternoon DD sings again with a school group at Peddler's Village; in the evening we go to my SILs to welcome home my BIL from his tour of duty in Afghanistan. Sounds like a fun weekend!

I'm trying to hold on to my attitude and my energy level with both hands, but I feel them both slipping a bit. My strategy for self-care has helped a lot this week in the D-zone, and I hope to be steadfast in eating right and exercising through the busy weekend ahead. I lost another two pounds this week, so I'm back to 160. I feel better in my body now.

Tomorrow's May 1st and goal-setting time. "One Day at a Time" is how I'm going to live it. I know what I have to do to treat myself in a healthy, respectful way, so I'm going to set out to do it every day. I want to abstain from binging (or bingeing, whichever is the write spelling ). I'm going to keep track of my healthy living days, just as I have been doing, but I won't set a percentage to strive for.

Weight-wise, my goal is to keep losing. I've decided to try for 147 pounds as my personal goal, with 145-150 as an acceptable range. Once I hit that number, I'll strive to maintain. I've chosen that number because it's right in the middle of the bmi normal range for my height. If I get to a weight before that and it feels right, well, then I'll just change my mind! lol

I picked up the book Lisa Z. is reading, "Passing for Thin." It's powerful, and has given me a lot to think about. I'm also reading "Primal Teen," a book about the brain chemistry of adolescents (a must read if you're living with one!), and a light mystery I can't remember the name of ("Miss Julia" something or other). I'm going to take all of my books to the beach tomorrow and read the afternoon away!

I guess I'm ready to begin the day.

1. all finished.
2. 8 oz. done
3. bike ride and walk planned
4. breakfast--5
snack--1/2 grapefruit at 1
lunch--salad at 11
snack--1/2 grapefruit at 1
dinner--slice of pizza at 9, maybe some veggies?
dessert--s.f. jello at 0

27 total: 22 target, 3 AP, 2 flex

 

[Strings]

Hi Erin,

congrats on the 2 pounds. Your weekend sounds wonderful. I love the ocean. Combine that with reading, and I'm on Your goals for May look sound. Enjoy your day and weekend.

Beth

 

[DoeWDW]

The BEACH!!!! I wanna go to the beach!!!! I think DD and I might lay out in the sun tomorrow to work on our tans. Maybe I'll splurge on one of those "background noise" CDs that feature the sounds of the ocean waves and the seagulls!!! We can use our Squeeze Breeze (a water bottle with a fan on top) to spritz ourselves with water - just like the ocean spray! What a great idea!! I'll bring the beach to me!!! Thanks for the idea, Erin, although I'd still rather go to the REAL beach! I hope you have a wonderful relaxing time!!

TWO POUNDS GONE!!!

Good for you!! You've managed to lose a couple pounds while in the D-Zone - WOW!!! Hang in there through the rest of the roller-coaster ride - you'll be sailing into calmer waters soon!

Enjoy the beach!!

 

[septbride2002]

Sounds like a wonderful weekend - can i come too?

Congratulations on the 2 lbs loss - you are doing great and I think your goal is a perfect one. I know for the month of May I am going to have to take some of the pressure off since it is going to be a busy month and I know that it will be hard for me to strive to be perfect. One day at a time sounds like the way to go for me!

~Amanda

 

[lulu201]

Yippee! It's a new month! I love new beginnings!

Well, yesterday was Friday, so I indulged--but not too much. I didn't binge and I'm happy about that.

Today we're going to the shore! We'll be in Ocean City, NJ, walking the street fair, walking the boardwalk, walking the beach, and then collapsing in a beach chair with books and blankets, just reading and listening to the sounds of the ocean. It just relaxes me completely.

I'm going to have to make a huge effort to get in all my water today--maybe I'll drink most of it when I get home and I'm close to a bathroom.

Finishing April:

1. 10/13
2. 9/13
3. 7/13 I was just too lazy. I used my exercise time to sit in the sun and read instead.
4. 9/13 plus one day earlier in the month. 10 days all together= 33.33 % days on plan, my lowest month of 2004 thus far.

Beginning May:

1. Need to take the vitamins right after I eat breakfast.
2. Will drink water before I go and when I get home from the beach.
3. Will walk and walk today.
4. Will not binge eat. I'll eat regular, healthy meals with one shore treat of my choice.

TTFN,
E.

 

[Strings]

Hello Erin,

So how was your time at the shore? I hope you got in some great reading time. How was the street fair? More importantly what was your treat? Hey, I'm on induction again. I have to live vicariously.

You certainly deserve some R&R. Enjoy the concerts.

Beth

 

[lulu201]

Gosh, did I underestimate when I said I was going to have ONE treat. . .I think I had a treat for everyone on the boardwalk! OK, it wasn't that bad, but it wasn't pretty. My WISH-sis, Doreen, suggested that maybe I was feeling freedom from my structured day-to-day routine, and I think she's right. It was as if I was saying, "I'm freeeeeee! Let me try some of that water ice. Just a bite of Monkey Bread, please." What was good was that DH and I shared all of these treats, but inside I know that these weren't healthy choices.

After reading "Passing for Thin" I have tons of questions about my compulsive eating. Why don't I have the fortitude and strength of some of the women on these boards? Is it just that I don't want thin-ness enough? I can't believe that some people go to WDW and stay on plan! I wouldn't have enough strength for that. . .I wouldn't even TRY it. Why wouldn't I? Is food THAT important to me? And if so, why? What kind of personal discipline does it take to exercise for a hundred days--or more--in a row like some WISHers do? Why don't I have that? Can I get it? Am I in an OK place BECAUSE I'm not so rigid? But then, if that's the case, why do I abuse food when I'm tired and I know I'm eating only to comfort some place that really can't be comforted with food?

I can't really accept at this point that my eating problem is a disease (like the book and Overeaters Anonymous maintain), but I know it's not healthy. I can accept that it's a problem that needs to be managed--forever. Maybe that's enough of a start?

Geez, this stuff is complicated, but I really feel like I need to uncover some answers. I've done the forever and I want to be done with it. I know that healthy living goals and plans have to be part of my life if I'm going to lose any more weight and then maintain it; I'm settled with that. Maybe the struggling is just part of my being human? The Weigh Down Workshop or First Place--one of those Christian weight loss programs--says that the weight loss struggle is a an issue that forces us to rely on Him for comfort and direction. That could very well be true for me. My weight loss struggles are something I know I can't manage alone.

Uh-oh, I need to take a break. All this introspection is giving me a headache!

I think I'll go take my vitamins. . .
Erin

 

[lulu201]

All right, I'm back:

1. Vitamins; 2/31
2. Working on the water; so far 0/31
3. Will count yesterday's walking the boardwalk and street fair as exercise. Had over 5 miles on the pedometer last night. 1/31
4. Food. Man, oh, man, do I not want to go there. So far today I've had 2 donuts, 4 chocolate covered macaroons (very small), two small chocolate chip cookies, 2 slices of lebanon bologna, and 8 crackers w/small pieces of cheese and a piece of olive on each one. Yuk! I'm going to have a salad for dinner. That's it.

I'm ready to be back on plan this afternoon. I don't have the answers to any of my questions--and maybe I don't have to. Maybe all I need to know is what I already know: I'm a compulsive eater who has to attend to food issues every day of my life in order to maintain my weight or to lose. Even when I indulge, binge, or whatever I want to call it, food and its management are on my mind--I'm not free of it. When I am successfully managing my food issues, I'm more at peace.
I don't know why other people are more successful or stronger than I am and it doesn't really matter that they are. Like Popeye, I am what I am and I can only do the best I can. I know that I will never give up; I will never stop trying to help myself. I guess that's enough to know for today.

I'm off to do some family things--
Erin

 

[lulu201]

Here I am, the first Monday in May. I'm ready to get back on track. . .again.

The plan:

1. Vitamins
2. Lots of water
3. Exercise on the treadie
4. Food:
b--banana almond oatmeal and coffee=5
s around 10 or 11 a.m.--grapefruit=2
l--tuna sandwich=5
s--a cheesestick=2
d--large salad w/chicken strips=11

Total: 25; 22 T, 3 AP, 0 Flex

Our days are busy and full right now; weekends are filled with family parties, work, DDs concerts--we're all feeling just about maxed out. I've got to work at keeping myself healthy and balanced. I'm going to continue to do my daily devotionals, but I want to plan on some extra prayer time to keep myself centered.
I'll spend some time with that today. Also have to do some "Mickey Care" today--bathe his feet and face, wash his ears, etc.

My expectation of myself for the rest of May is to stay on plan--no binge eating. I'm going to take it one day at a time--here I go!

Onward and downward,
Erin

Edit #1:
Vitamins done, 10 oz. gone. Tidied up the bathroom, one load of wash in the washer, Mickey to be washed next!

Edit#2:
46 oz. of water gone. 3 miles walked on the treadie. Second load of wash in, Mickey all bathed and medicated. Ate my grapefruit snack. Not bad for Day #28 of the D-Zone rollercoaster ride! Next on the list: pick up our bedroom and put a load of jeans away. Lunch is scheduled for 1:30.

Edit #3:
Had lunch, made dinner. Two loads of laundry done and put away, dishes in the dishwasher, bedroom picked up. Things looking pretty good. Now I have to get dressed and go to work! Starting to have some lousy cramping. Feeling tired. Maybe a vanilla coffee would help?

 

[Strings]

Hi Erin,

I just wanted to give you some since you guys got the rain we had all weekend. I hope you find the extra time for your devotionals. Take care of yourself today.

Beth

 

[septbride2002]

Good Morning Erin! You sound nice and this morning. I'm with you on the one day at a time thinking - that is my motto for the month.

I think May is a month that fills up quickly - especially with Mother's Day being in there which takes up a whole weekend. I know we have every single Saturday booked except for the Saturday over Memorial Day weekend - which I am trying desperately to not fill.

Have a great day today - enjoy your extra prayer time and bathing Mickey!

~Amanda

 

[DoeWDW]

You seem to be doing very well today!! You've gotten a lot done - I bet you're feeling great!

 

[lulu201]

Today is Tuesday. . .

Stats from yesterday:

1. Vitamins are 3/31.
2. Water is 1/31
3. Exercise is 2/31--did my 3 miles
4. Food is 1/31 (finally!)

Plan for today:

1. Take the vitamins.
2. Drink the water
3. No treadie today; will walk 3 miles tomorrow
4. Food: b--oatmeal and coffee=5, s--veggies=0, tuna sandwich=5, nachos bell grande=17 Total for day=27, 22 target, 5 flex (leaves 30 left in flex)

Decided to splurge on the taco bell meal since that's what sounds good to me. I'll curb snacks throughout the day to allow for it. I've got to drink lots of water, though--feeling pretty bloated.

I'm back on week one of the half marathon training program at About.com; I'll do 3 miles M-W-F and 6.2 on Saturday in Doylestown. Total planned mileage for the week=15.2. That's a goal!

Thanks for stopping by, Beth, Amanda, and Doreen--you guys are such a steadfast supply of love and encouragement.
I hope you all have a great day.

Onward and downward, day by day, pound by pound--
Erin

Edit #1: had devotions, vitamins, breakfast and about 10 oz. of water. I'm going to on through the day!

Edit #2: did what I had to do today and got the job done!

Final stats for 5/4/04

1. 4/31
2. 2/31
3. 2/31
4. 2/31

That's a wrap!

 

[Strings]

GO ERIN GO!

I can hear the determination in your post today. You did a phenomenal job yesterday. 3 miles! and OP! WTG! You are off to a great start this morning too.

Watch out everyone, Erin's walking the walk today.

Have a good one,
Beth

 

[DoeWDW]

Erin, you are CRUISIN' through your day!!

I'm starting to feel better - I think I'll join you!! I'm going to make a real effort to stay OP tonight!

 

[Auntmeme]

Way to go Erin! Keep up the good job of staying focused. I'm going to check out about.com for the training program also. Did I miss the reservations for carribean beach? I only received 1 email from Kamy, want to make sure to accomplish this amazing goal. Hope to see you saturday.

 

[lulu201]

MeMe, I hope you can come on Saturday--I'd love to meet you in person!

Haven't heard anything else from Kamy--I'm still waiting to sign up at the C. Beach, too.

E.

 

[lulu201]

Hi! It's Wednesday!

Today's looking simple and straightforward as far as healthy living goes: just do it again. No candy, lots of water, some exercise, meals packed and ready for work--nothing new. Today the routine seems comforting.

1. Take the vitamins.
2. Drink 64 oz. of water.
3. Walk 3 miles on the treadie.
4. Eat approx. 25 points:

b--cinnamon almond oatmeal and coffee=5
s--grapefruit=2
l--salad w/ chicken strips=11
s--fat free biscotti=2
d--sandwich and veggies=5

That's the plan. I'm onward and downward, one day at a time.

Erin