Today's thought - I believe it's important to look at healthy habits not as depriving ourselves of what we want, but as giving ourselves what we need to feel good.
"It is really important and powerful to flip things around this way. I also need to start looking past the immediate feel good choice (sugar) and look at the long term feel good choice of being healthier and being able to do/enjoy more things."
I easily get caught in an unhealthy cycle of wanting to have something that I shouldn't: a birthday cupcake in my classroom; a second helping of something delicious; fried or processed foods; etc... I get into a head space of feeling angry at the skinny teacher across the hall from me who brings a giant vat of macaroni and cheese for lunch and eats the whole thing. I get frustrated that my husband eats two or three times as much as me and is relatively thin. I'm upset that my metabolism is much lower now that I'm in menopause. I am mad that I can't just eat whatever I want without having to pay the consequences. When this happens, I feel deprived. Sometimes I give in and eat junk then feel awful both physically and mentally afterward. Sometimes I don't give in, but it is really hard not to give in to my impulses. I know I have to get past the whole, "It isn't fair" attitude. The circumstances are what they are, and if I want to be healthy, I have to work at it.
So, I guess it is time to put on my "big girl pants" and be an adult about this. I know exactly what I need to do. I'm kind of afraid that it won't work, but I do know that I cannot continue like this.
It reminds me of quote form the art of weight maintenance and I can relate to every word you said.
"Logically, I understood that I needed to continue the behaviors that got the weight off, but I was angry about it. I didn’t want to. I wanted to be able to eat what I wanted, when I wanted, and to have my weight stay at goal. I didn’t actually throw toys or scream, but inside, that’s what I felt like. I understood this would be my new life — eating healthy, exercising and tracking — but deep down, all of us want to feel there’s a break in sight. We’ve been so good for so long, we feel entitled to a break from the mundane weight loss steps we’ve taken for what seems like forever. I believe many of us are so goal oriented that when that goal is reached, we’re ready to switch gears. Like kids, we want to test our boundaries, to see what we can get away with and not get in trouble for. We want the treats, and when that shows on the scale, we get resentful. We want to be at our goal weight, but we don’t want the responsibility that goes into maintaining this new body.
I stayed in my toddler phase for a while. I was angry that I had to do the tracking and exercise and be mindful of my eating. I get why kids struggle with adults telling them to wash their hands after they go potty, stop playing and pick up or get dressed. Yes, we have to do these things, but it’s not always what we want to do in the moment. Sometimes we just want to be left alone to do what tickles our fancy, without rules and regulations or consequences. Then the adult side of us eventually kicks in and we realize yes, we can do whatever we want to, but it comes with a price. We can resist the responsibility, but without that we have chaos, and systems break down. I had to accept that I would have to do the behaviors, and do them without resentment, if I was going to keep the weight off. Logically, I knew all this when I was losing the weight, and I even stated it out loud when I was talking with others. But there’s a difference between saying it before it happens and what you feel when"
I wanted to "like" this part of your post, but then I read the other part, so I had to split it up.
Yikes! I didn't know that had happened to you. 
