Losing faith in humanity

[thelionqueen]

But what gives you the right to make a scene in public any more than he has the right to be rude?? This is the point I am trying to get across. Yes, he was in the wrong; yes, you have a right to stand up for yourself.

But why not do it with polite firmness without making a public spectacle to go along with his rudeness??

Can't we agree that society would be a better place if we didn't answer rudeness and confrontation with more rudeness and confrontation?

No one or nothing gives me the right, but I was just not brought up that way period. If someone is doing something that isn't right to me, I will say something very nicely at first. If I got the response the OP got, then "it's on" as they say.

Who is to say I would be rude? I would be direct and I would not be bullied. Everything CAN have a diplomatic and uneventful conclusion (i.e. had the OP brought this to the man's attention and he said...OMG I'm sorry..I was talking to my kids and didn't even notice, I apologize..and went to the back of the line." My response would be something like.."no problem I've done the same thing (and I'm certain I've done something hairbrained like that unintentionally). BUT...his response was...basically.."yeah I know what I'm doing...what you gonna do about it?" Well...I am Sicilian and this kind of response is not one that goes over well . If you're willing to go "toe-to-toe" with me, you better be prepared to go all the way.

Would it likely be less embarassing for my kids? YES!! Would it have been a more peaceful Zen like and calm way to handle the situation..YES!! However...I'm SURE there are people in line thinking the EXACT same as I would be and would be happy someone had the nerve to address this man and this situation.

You can do this in a direct way without being rude. Asking others for the input does not equal "a spectacle or rudeness."

 

[Tonka's Skipper]

I blame the rise of such behavior in public to the popularity of reality TV. When people get paid to be rude and obnoxious on television and it is presented as their real life, then other people get the idea that it is acceptable and even desirable to behave that way in public.

Very good point!............AKK

 

[okeydokey]

When a society doesn't have a higher being that they feel they have to answer to, then the foundation of similar morality is not there. This causes an individualism type mentality that has no boundaries.

We have no one to blame but ourselves for allowing the decay of society because we allow those with the agenda to remove that moral standard from governing us.

How do we stop it? Put our trust back where it belongs. If not, chaos will inevitably follow.

Belief in a higher being doesn't make a person polite. Lack of belief in a higher being doesn't make them impolite.

Belief in treating others fairly and with respect is the key.

 

[PebblesMom]

I really don't have much issue with visitors from countries who do not have a "queue culture" jumping into an open space when they see one, because that is their norm. However, IME, once it is pointed out to those people that we queue here, they tend to apologize and immediately go to the back of the queue. Folks who stand their ground and offer an "I'm more special than you are" justification for their actions are not usually people who are from a no-queue culture; they are people who know darn good and well that a queue exists and why; they just don't want to bother with it.

I mentioned reality TV earlier, and I still think it is a key culprit, because it models people getting away with such behavior and not only getting away with it, but getting rewarded for it. However, I think that there are several factors that play in (and not to make this a religious thread, but lack of faith in a higher being is, IMO, *not* one of them. Rude and entitled people are rude and entitled people, regardless of what religious beliefs they may or may not have.)

Two of the factors that I think also play a part are our never-ending thirst for speed and efficiency, and the rise of electronic communications. On boards like this one many of us say things that we would never dream of saying to someone's face, and sometimes, if you spend enough time communicating virtually, your in-person filters kind of go wonky after awhile. Also, nothing is ever fast enough for us, and one of the "privileges" often granted to the powerful is the elimination of any need to wait. When individuals feel entitled, waiting for service of any kind tends to be one of the first things that they think they needn't deal with.

As to the customer being always right -- not hardly. However, as a line worker you have to be careful about when to enforce rules if you don't have backup: a minimum-wage job is not worth your life. As a manager I have been in situations where my only choice was to placate the irate, because it was clear to me that if the person was thwarted he was going to turn violent. I'm just not going to take that chance with someone who quite possibly has a loaded long gun 50 feet outside my door in the rack of a truck. He could be out and back with it long before I could get a police officer onto my premises, and I cannot in good conscience put my staff or my customers at that kind of risk over a policy question.

In the Disney parks I really do not understand why all CM's cannot be issued a wireless security call tag. If they witness a credible threat or ejectable offense they should be able to just press the tag and let security come without having to audibly call them. (The signal could be set like Morse, with a certain click pattern for different categories of emergency.)

Although as a manager I do make a *bit* more than minimum wage, no amount of money is worth my life....and it went beyond a simple policy question...it is AGAINST THE LAW to sell liquor here on Sunday's, so I was not able to sell it to him. If he had to have it that bad he would have had to steal it. His wife called the next day to complain and that is when she was offered a gift card....no one was in danger at that point, the DM simply did not want to listen to her complain!!!

 

[OhioDisneyDad]

I believe in the golden rule: do unto others as you would have done to you. If you're purposely rude/offensive to me then I will "explain" it to you. If I do something purposely rude/offensive to someone else then I would expect them to "explain" it to me. Don't be a bunch of door mats people. There are ways to get your point across without harming the cosmic karma/chi/aura of society (some posters comments of peace and love notwithstanding).

Of course being a former offensive lineman makes my "explanations" a bit more noteworthy to others but I'm OK with that.

 

[robinb]

I think the OP handled the situation very well. An example that I'm sure that man will remember for a long time and hopefully will influence him for the better.

Which man? The one who cut in line and got what he wanted even after being called on it? The only lesson that man took away is that being a jerk pays off!

 

[Ginny Favers]

I wonder if rudeness is more prevalent now because of the impersonal nature of so many of our dealings. We travel in our cars, get on the computer, do our banking on the phone, check out our groceries at self-check-out, all without having to interact with another human being. We can complain about whatever we want via email or the internet and remain perfectly anonymous. We can give someone the finger in our car and then speed off and never see that person again. As great as technology is, it does have a way of bringing out the worst in people.

 

[bakenatj]

Which man? The one who cut in line and got what he wanted even after being called on it? The only lesson that man took away is that being a jerk pays off!

Yes the man that cut in line. You never know, some people like the line cutter when they see someone show politeness and grace to them when they are being mean and rude will affect them. Even if it doesn't we should never stop showing kindness.

 

[litlpixie]

I believe in the golden rule: do unto others as you would have done to you. If you're purposely rude/offensive to me then I will "explain" it to you. If I do something purposely rude/offensive to someone else then I would expect them to "explain" it to me. Don't be a bunch of door mats people. There are ways to get your point across without harming the cosmic karma/chi/aura of society (some posters comments of peace and love notwithstanding).

Of course being a former offensive lineman makes my "explanations" a bit more noteworthy to others but I'm OK with that.

LOL, which leads me to wonder if that "Main St. Bakery Neanderthal" would have 2nd-guessed cutting in front of you or any other man. I wonder if he just took advantage of the fact that the OP was a female and just had her kids w/ her, which for whatever reason would piss me off more.

 

[bakenatj]

I wonder if rudeness is more prevalent now because of the impersonal nature of so many of our dealings. We travel in our cars, get on the computer, do our banking on the phone, check out our groceries at self-check-out, all without having to interact with another human being. We can complain about whatever we want via email or the internet and remain perfectly anonymous. We can give someone the finger in our car and then speed off and never see that person again. As great as technology is, it does have a way of bringing out the worst in people.

We are being taught that everyone is entitled to a piece of the pie even if you have to run the person in front of you over to get it. It is even going to the extent that it doesn't matter how hard you work or apply yourself you are entitled to your piece of the pie. People start seeing it happen and hear it long enough they start acting it out. That is where we sit today. Sad isn't it.

 

[OhioDisneyDad]

LOL, which leads me to wonder if that "Main St. Bakery Neanderthal" would have 2nd-guessed cutting in front of you or any other man. I wonder if he just took advantage of the fact that the OP was a female and just had her kids w/ her, which for whatever reason would piss me off more.

If that twit would treat a woman that he doesn't even know that way imagine how he treats his wife. I'll stand up for those who won't/can't stand up for themselves - it'll probably get me shot one day!

 

[csm101]

I deal with this in this matter.

When you do want to approach a line cutter to let them know they just violated the sacred social code of waiting, it's important to remember the following three things:
1. Don't get angry.
2. Ask someone near by—preferably behind you—if they saw that person cut in the line. If they did, you now have an ally who has a vested interest in the outcome of the situation.
3. Confront the cutter as soon as possible. You'll lose your chance if you wait.
When you confront the line cutter, be polite. It's possible they made a mistake and you'll feel like an idiot and a jerk if you overreact to something that's ultimately not a big deal. A simple sentence like, "Excuse me, but I believe you just cut in line" is forceful enough to get your point across while still remaining open to the possibility that you could be wrong and they were simply joining their friend to wait with them in solidarity. In the event that they argue and things get out of hand, you either need to let it go (if the cutter is willing to drop the issue, too) or find a manager/person of authority and ask them to handle the problem for you. But something as unimportant as a person cutting in line should really never escalate to that level. The important thing to remember is that while it's rude for people to cut in line, you can't fight every battle and there are few circumstances where this situation isn't a tiny blip of a battle. Most of the time, it's simply not worth fighting. Stay strong, and just try to let things go whenever you can.

 

[thelionqueen]

If that twit would treat a woman that he doesn't even know that way imagine how he treats his wife. I'll stand up for those who won't/can't stand up for themselves - it'll probably get me shot one day!

My 7 brothers would do the same thing and have on many occasions. It's never ok for a man to do that to anyone...especially a woman. Interesting thought though...I wonder if he was more prone to do it because it was a woman with kids and not a former linebacker.....

 

[Ginny Favers]

I just saw this and it made me think of this thread!

http://www.buzzfeed.com/expresident/pictures-that-will-restore-your-faith-in-humanity

 

[StitchandPooh'sMom]

We had a similar situation at the FP line for BTMRR on Thursday. The FP line was way backed up, about halfway to the Briar Patch store. A guy with his wife and three kids (who had not been in line) walked up to the CM and handed his FPs to her just as I was handing mine. I told him that we all had FPs and the line was back there behind all the other people with FPs, but he pushed his kids in front of me and stood between me and the CM to show his tickets. I was disappointed that the CM did not explain the line concept to the guy, but I was not about to try to physically block him and the rest of his family (DH was not with us - it was just me and the kids). We ended up in the same train - his rudeness might have gained him a few minutes, but he also might have been cutting people all day.

DD9 was the most appalled about the cutting - it is a big deal in elementary school to wait your turn and not cut. She was shocked that an adult would be so rude - ah, to be so innocent again!

I am disappointed that Disney does not enforce their rules. Even if the CM didn't want to confront the man and his family, we had to wait a while in the FP line and there was plenty of time for someone else to address it. While it didn't change our wait time in this case, it was rude and against the rules, and it probably wasn't the first time for this guy.

 

[bakenatj]

If that twit would treat a woman that he doesn't even know that way imagine how he treats his wife. I'll stand up for those who won't/can't stand up for themselves - it'll probably get me shot one day!

I might be wrong but I take it that the OP is a male??? Seeing how the OP has DISDads club in their signature. Maybe I'm wrong.

 

[NotUrsula]

Although as a manager I do make a *bit* more than minimum wage, no amount of money is worth my life....and it went beyond a simple policy question...it is AGAINST THE LAW to sell liquor here on Sunday's, so I was not able to sell it to him. If he had to have it that bad he would have had to steal it. His wife called the next day to complain and that is when she was offered a gift card....no one was in danger at that point, the DM simply did not want to listen to her complain!!!

Oh, I don't disagree; your manager was rolling over for no reason -- unless the wife's brother was on the city council and could pull your license. FWIW, I wasn't referring to your situation, but situations that I have often found myself in, and I'm sure there are times when CMs face the same dilemma.

On several occasions I had to weigh the question of, "Do I back up my minimum-wage-clerk's assertion that policy cannot be waived, or do I cave because this guy is a loose cannon and I can look out the window and see the gun rack in the truck?" I ran a public facility, and we often had a lot of small children on the premises; sometimes I had to hold my nose and make nice with nasty people because it was the safest thing to do, though it certainly was not my inclination to do it.

My own district manager in that job was very bad about sucking up to those in power no matter how abusive and ridiculous they got. She expected me to toe the line and grovel when she threw me and my staff under the bus, which happened with great regularity. I put up with it for 3 years because the job paid very well, but finally quit the week after we closed on our house.

 

[OhioDisneyDad]

I might be wrong but I take it that the OP is a male??? Seeing how the OP has DISDads club in their signature. Maybe I'm wrong.

My bad. Somewhere along the line I got the idea it was woman. Either way, I'd have his back too!

 

[Greaser69]

LOL...No it wasn't. If I was in Germany I would have been ordering a stein of beer, not an espresso.

Right man!!!!!

 

[litlpixie]

If that twit would treat a woman that he doesn't even know that way imagine how he treats his wife. I'll stand up for those who won't/can't stand up for themselves - it'll probably get me shot one day!

THIS is exactly why DH cant stay in the parks for an extended period of time, I just dont think he can handle the twits. Someday that jerk (not my husband, the OTHER guy)is going to cut in front of the "wrong" person.

Im on the fence about exactly how far to go w/ standing up for yourself, I mean dont get me wrong, Im all for it, but sheesh, Im not gettin punched in the face over a turkey sandwich Who knows what kind of weirdo this guy was? My DH? He would react first.....loudly perhaps, me? Im more laid back, but throw in crowds of people, hunger, fatigue, hot humid temps, I suppose I too have a snapping point