Looking for ideas/suggestions

[Robbie Cottam]

DD is a HS Senior. Her choir has been accepted to be part of WDW's Candlelight Processional. Cool, right?

One slight problem... she has died her hair... an "unnatural color". She's done it before every school year. Before this year, she knew the Processional was a possibility, but not guaranteed.

Now that they're accepted, apparently one of the "rules" is no unnatural hair. So we're trying to figure out our options.
She asked the teacher if she could wear a wig... "no".
Not going to the Processional, while an option, she doesn't want to do.
So it looks like she's going to need to dye her hair to a "natural" color (no, she doesn't have enough time for her hair to grow out).

Is there another option?

Simple, call it a religious expression …
and ask them to make an exception

 

[fly girl]

But a poster did find the rules from last year. I would think that if you knew it was a possibility of being part of it knowing the rules would be pretty important to look up. Didn't know and didn't choose to find out aren't the same thing here. I def. agree if the school was the only one privy to this information and dropped by the ball on telling people but if a random poster on the DIS can easily find the information and the daughter knew her choir could have been picked before the school year eh..that becomes more of "it's on you" here.

Yes, she could have looked it up, but I bet it was a fleeting thought about Candlelight Processional when she was on her way to the salon.

She isn’t asking for them to change the rules, she just is bummed about it. No big deal. Sounds like she will dye her hair back and move on. It’s up to her parents on whether they’ll help pay.

Honestly, my stance as a parent would depend on how the she is handling the situation. Bummed out but resolved to dyeing back (which I believe is the case), I’d help. Freaking out and throwing a fit, life lesson she has to fix on her own. All depends on how mature your child acts with the situation presented.

 

[TinkAgainU]

Simple, call it a religious expression …
and ask them to make an exception

Not sure this is what you want to teach a teenager Lying is, frankly, disrespectful, on a lot of levels.

 

[HopperFan]

But a poster did find the rules from last year. I would think that if you knew it was a possibility of being part of it knowing the rules would be pretty important to look up. Didn't know and didn't choose to find out aren't the same thing here. I def. agree if the school was the only one privy to this information and dropped by the ball on telling people but if a random poster on the DIS can easily find the information and the daughter knew her choir could have been picked before the school year eh..that becomes more of "it's on you" here.

Candlelight Information is easy to find and is very clear.

It is a lesson learned. If they knew it was a chance, then find the rules and then wait until after to do a color change. Disney used to have this rule for all their employees for years ... the choirs are BACKGROUND for the rest of the program and if you look at any photos you can see they all blend with very natural looks. Even if the wig is a teacher rule, my guess they don't want to take any chance of crossing Disney should a student not keep the colored hair covered. Not a risk they want to take.

 

[Robbie Cottam]

Not sure this is what you want to teach a teenager Lying is, frankly, disrespectful, on a lot of levels.

Clearly, if this young lady puts this much effort and money into her hair color, it is a sincerely held belief.
Why should she be discriminated against because of this…

 

[sam_gordon]

I'm glad folks here would have thought... "there's an x% chance we get accepted to this, let's look up what the requirements are!" Never dawned on us. And I'm guessing that x% is fairly low (have no idea how many schools apply).

According to the teacher, she found out in late May that we'd even get to apply (since Covid, they haven't accepted applications from non-Florida schools). Late July/August (IIRC), they had considered getting the choir together to make the video. It was decided to wait until after school started in August to make the video.

The last three years, the week before school started, she's gotten her hair dyed. Kudos to those who would have looked up the rules, then have their child "wait" on the off chance they get accepted. We didn't.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

I bet it was a fleeting thought about Candlelight Processional when she was on her way to the salon.

I think that was the point of a few of us posters and why the life lesson got kinda thrown in there. TBH not sure that shows maturity no matter how calm or not calm the OP's daughter is on her reaction to the consequence. We all mess up it happens, we don't do our due diligence it happens. This falls really on the daughter for making the choice she made. She's looking for her parents to fix that and well it's kinda on her. I'm more or less saying I don't disagree with the other poster here.

 

[Disneylover99]

Yes, she could have looked it up, but I bet it was a fleeting thought about Candlelight Processional when she was on her way to the salon.

Unless the school specifically sent the rules last year, it would never occur to me as an adult (let alone a teen) to look up rules for something that may not even happen until it does, And I honestly would never have thought to check for hair colouring rules ahead of time anyways.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

Unless the school specifically sent the rules last year, it would never occur to me as an adult (let alone a teen) to look up rules for something that may not even happen until it does, And I honestly would never have thought to check for hair colouring rules ahead of time anyways.

OP's children or at least one of them is in soccer stuff, I would assume they are fully aware of looking up rules for things they are involved in. This is like not choosing to look at the class syllabus and then getting upset at something.

 

[sam_gordon]

She's looking for her parents to fix that and well it's kinda on her.

Nope. She's not looking for anyone to fix anything. *I* took it upon myself to ask for help. I've said at least once on the thread she's planning on dying her hair back to normal. So how do you translate that to "she's looking for her parents to fix that"?

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

Nope. She's not looking for anyone to fix anything. *I* took it upon myself to ask for help. I've said at least once on the thread she's planning on dying her hair back to normal. So how do you translate that to "she's looking for her parents to fix that"?

Then you're trying to fix something when you don't need to. Let her handle it. Multiple of your threads show a pattern of stepping in on behalf of your kids asking us on WWYD, that's an observation. Your kid would have figured out what she needed to do on her own here when it comes to the Candlelight Processional seems the choice would be "gotta get my hair redyed"

 

[TinkAgainU]

[deleted - not gonna poke that bear lol]

 

[fly girl]

I think that was the point of a few of us posters and why the life lesson got kinda thrown in there. TBH not sure that shows maturity no matter how calm or not calm the OP's daughter is on her reaction to the consequence. We all mess up it happens, we don't do our due diligence it happens. This falls really on the daughter for making the choice she made. She's looking for her parents to fix that and well it's kinda on her. I'm more or less saying I don't disagree with the other poster here.

I didn't disagree with the other poster. I understood her opinion!

I am typically one to not say this, but you aren't a parent. If you were you would know how you handle situations like this with your teens is very dependent on how they are handling it. You are watching their maturity and making sure they are getting prepared for life.

For this scenario: If my dd found out and expressed that she understood the rules but was sad she had to dye her hair back, I would know she is handling it maturely and I did my job. And knowing she spent a lot of money (which teens don't have) to dye her hair back for the one event, I would likely pay for it as I have the means and she doesn't. I am not "fixing" it, I am helping her.

On the other hand, If my dd became unhinged over it, I know somewhere along the way I failed to prepare her and now is not the time for me to pay for the dye job.

Just because you are helping this time, doesn't mean you always help. It is so particular to the child and the situation. You know (or at least try your best, because parents never get it right 100% of the time) when it is right to let them learn, and when to show some compassion.

 

[lifesavacation]

I honestly don’t feel like this calls for finger pointing. Stuff comes up. If it’s an all over color, the only solution might be to recolor. So much depends on the color, though. What about tiny braids with maybe a gel color on top that washes out. Don’t they have those temp colors for Halloween. Black is considered a natural color. Another option could be tiny braids that are hidden by natural color extensions.

 

[ronandannette]

Unfortunately neither DW nor I get to go. We have to hope someone in the audience ends up posting it on YT.

You’re not permitted, or you just can’t make it?

 

[fly girl]

Then you're trying to fix something when you don't need to. Let her handle it. Multiple of your threads show a pattern of stepping in on behalf of your kids asking us on WWYD, that's an observation. Your kid would have figured out what she needed to do on her own here when it comes to the Candlelight Processional seems the choice would be "gotta get my hair redyed"

Parents ask each other ALL THE TIME wwyd, because there is no manual on how to get it right. And we all screw up, and knowing you caused more harm than good is gut wrenching. No shame in bouncing questions and ideas off of each other to get different perspectives. I have received wonderful advice, and some I would never use, but you take it all in to try and set your family up for success.

With this scenario, OP likely isn't going to go to his buddies for suggestions on girls hair. They won't have a clue, just like OP. But why is it interfering and stepping in to ask if there is a solution other than dyeing her hair back to its original color? There could be some product out there that isn't well known that could do the trick and her expensive color job could be saved. There is no harm in asking. I don't get why it is a problem to ask.

And I enjoy these WWYD threads because they are all the real stuff we deal with on the daily. I mean, I love Funny Memes but it is good to have real discussions too.

 

[Disneylover99]

OP's children or at least one of them is in soccer stuff, I would assume they are fully aware of looking up rules for things they are involved in.

When you register your children for anything, you’re most likely aware of the rules, and in many cases need to sign a waiver stating you’ve read the rules and agree to them.

But this is something completely different. The school applied to be part of the Candlelight Processional, not the parents. So, the onus is on the school to make the parents aware of the rules IMO. And honestly? I wouldn’t even expect to be sent any rules from the school unless it’s confirmed - like it is now.

This is like not choosing to look at the class syllabus and then getting upset at something.

I see it differently. This is like being offered a course you weren’t really expecting to take, discovering an obstacle, and trying to find the best possible solution to work out the problem.

 

[Babs Johnson]

The no wig rule is because organizers know it’s possible or even likely that the students will pull off the wig right when the performance begins.

It’s the same reason many theme parks have a “no turning inappropriate T-shirts inside out” rule. They known damn well that those who wear such shirts will immediately turn them back after entering.

 

[PollyannaMom]

If they knew it was a chance, then find the rules

But what would make a kid, growing up in today's inclusive world, think there even might be a rule about what color your hair is?

Unless the school specifically sent the rules last year, it would never occur to me as an adult (let alone a teen) to look up rules for something that may not even happen until it does, And I honestly would never have thought to check for hair colouring rules ahead of time anyways.

Exactly. After they were accepted, I would have expected a list of rules from the school - behavior, things you're not allowed to bring on the bus, etc. I would not have anticipated hearing that only children with certain hair colors could participate.

 

[unrequited23]

Because as much as I like to think I'm a strict-never budge-you gotta learn your lesson parent, I know deep down I'm a softy, I would offer to pay for the coloring of the hair to a natural color and the return to the 'unnatural' color after the trip. That way I know her hair would be as protected as possible.

Now as a HS student, I would have considered a buzzcut/shaving my head as the most disruptive way to return to a natural color, since the reasonable option to wear a high quality wig was not an option.