Looking for ideas/suggestions

[Christine]

My daughter frequently dyes her hair pink and various pink shades but she occasionally tires of it. She goes in to the salon to have it reversed. It's not something a layperson should attempt as results could be very mixed and then you're in a worse position. But it can be done--just some extra cost.

 

[SirDuff]

I should also mention, when the subject of wigs came up, we have no idea of how much they cost. We were thinking it's close to Halloween, so wigs should be easy to find.

And that might be the teacher’s concern - that your daughter would wear a Hallowe’en wig level wig.

 

[Lord Manhammer]

Maybe I'm just too much of a rebel, but I'd find a realistic wig and just go for it. The way the teacher responded makes me suspect it's their rule. Screw them! As someone who's done work on stage, I've seen lots of actors use spirit gum to keep wigs securely attached during wild dance routines. And spirit gum is the strongest stuff you can use. I hardly imagine your daughter is going to be twirling her brains out at CP, is she? Not to mention, is the teacher going to be going up to your daughter and closely inspecting her hair LOOKING for evidence of a wig during the craziness of the trip? Of course not.

So find a wig, don't say anything to the teacher and have a good time.

 

[Disneylover99]

I think a decent well-fitted wig would be fine. Might be pricey though and hard to find one that suits her or she feels comfortable wearing. Personally, I’d rather just dye it and be done with it.

But I’d leave it up to your daughter. Either a wig or colour it.

 

[Rogue1677x]

My daughter used to get her brown hair dyed purple (dark purple) and we had it done at a salon. The stylist always said to avoid washing in hot water to make the color last longer. Depending on your daughter's color, it may be something she can wash out enough and then just use a box color to suffice for the trip.

I'm of the opinion that no wigs allowed is nonsense.

 

[fly girl]

I am with you, @sam_gordon, I don't like the lightening fast response from the teacher. Is it worth ruffling feathers for? Personally I don't think so, but I am on the outside. However, I truly do feel for your dd as she spent a good chunk of change for her hair. Good hair is not cheap!!

I am with @slo, if she does go back to natural I would pay for it as a show of support. Nice for your dd to see that her parents "get it." I don't think you'll change the teachers mind, and I would hate for it the senior year in choir to end on a sour note. (pun not intended)

 

[sam_gordon]

Maybe I'm just too much of a rebel, but I'd find a realistic wig and just go for it. The way the teacher responded makes me suspect it's their rule. Screw them! As someone who's done work on stage, I've seen lots of actors use spirit gum to keep wigs securely attached during wild dance routines. And spirit gum is the strongest stuff you can use. I hardly imagine your daughter is going to be twirling her brains out at CP, is she? Not to mention, is the teacher going to be going up to your daughter and closely inspecting her hair LOOKING for evidence of a wig during the craziness of the trip? Of course not.

So find a wig, don't say anything to the teacher and have a good time.

Of course, the paranoid part of me would be the teacher finds out (because they know their students) and doesn't let DD perform.

 

[QueenIsabella]

I would tell her to go back to natural (or close--whatever works), and I would have her pay for it. She knew processional was a possibility, and this is not a new rule. I understand the teacher saying "no" to a wig--sure, you can get a Halloween wig for cheap, but then it would look...cheap. If the teacher allows one wig, she'd have to allow them all.

As to why I'd make her pay for it? Because she's almost an adult, and this is something she could have predicted. Having to change her hair color, and pay for it, is an important life lesson. Sometimes adults have to do difficult things they don't like to do. Kind of like, if she got a speeding ticket, you wouldn't pay that off for her, would you?

That said, I might, after the fact, give her extra "processional" spending money, maybe for a birthday or Christmas or something. It's not the same as paying for it, but it's a way of acknowledging that she made a difficult choice.

 

[fly girl]

I would tell her to go back to natural (or close--whatever works), and I would have her pay for it. She knew processional was a possibility, and this is not a new rule. I understand the teacher saying "no" to a wig--sure, you can get a Halloween wig for cheap, but then it would look...cheap. If the teacher allows one wig, she'd have to allow them all.

As to why I'd make her pay for it? Because she's almost an adult, and this is something she could have predicted. Having to change her hair color, and pay for it, is an important life lesson. Sometimes adults have to do difficult things they don't like to do. Kind of like, if she got a speeding ticket, you wouldn't pay that off for her, would you?

That said, I might, after the fact, give her extra "processional" spending money, maybe for a birthday or Christmas or something. It's not the same as paying for it, but it's a way of acknowledging that she made a difficult choice.

If she knew the rule before dyeing her hair, I would have to agree. That was a conscious decision to gamble on if they would be invited.

However, OP stated that they didn't know the rule of "unnatural hair" until a week ago. That key aspect was clarified in post in #17. I would have agreed if she knew. That wasn't the case, she didn't know. Could she have predicted it? With Disney relaxing their rules on CM's attire/appearance, I do not see this as a "no brainer." 5 years ago, very much so.

Absolutely, I would make my child pay for a speeding ticket. That is not on the same level. Maybe she could have looked up the rules before dyeing her hair, but really? This isn't a given like a speeding ticket is. If you speed, you need to expect you will be caught at some point ... says someone who has received and paid for a few in my life.

 

[TipsyTraveler]

You can get super cheap wigs on Amazon that would look close enough to real hair for a one-time performance considering your daughter is going to be on stage a fair distance from the audience. I’d really try to find out if Disney has a no wigs rule, because the solution to this could cost less than $20 and not do any damage to her hair.

 

[bluezy]

Of course, the paranoid part of me would be the teacher finds out (because they know their students) and doesn't let DD perform.

That's what I'd be worried about. I'd be afraid the teacher wouldn't even let her go on the trip if she arrived on the departure day with her current hair color.

Personally, I'd go back to the stylist/colorist who did the color this time and ask him/her for suggestions. I wouldn't attempt to cover it up yourself with a temporary shampoo or conditioner. My mom owned a salon for many years -- I've seen some disasters of people trying to do that type of thing themselves. It ends up costing more financially than if they had just come to salon originally. And it usually ends up damaging their hair. Ask the professional for advice. It's not worth risking this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.

 

[Southernmiss]

It is a bummer for your dd and good for you supporting her. Hair is so important to teen girls.

Our public high school doesn't allow unnatural hair color.

Many kids do a temporary color as soon as summer starts and then have to go back to natural right before school starts.

Our dd lost a lot of her hair between junior and senior year when she first contracted lupus. I cried like a baby for her when I noticed the bald patches she was covering. Her beautiful, thick long hair wound up on the floor, in the drains and everywhere. It was still a funky texture at high school graduation.

4 years later it has grown back, but not the same color or thickness. But it is pretty again.

She considered coloring it pink on freshman year of college, but did not as we were afraid her hair might fall out again.

Good luck in finding an agreeable solution.

 

[sam_gordon]

We just had a parent meeting about the trip and I asked the teacher again about the wig and was told "no". It's not worth fighting over. The downside is too big. Either she's not allowed on the trip (and forfeits all the money) or not allowed to perform (and it could be Disney or the teacher who "catches" her). I'm glad some of you think that chance is worth taking, not me.

DD has already resigned herself to dying it back. I'm sure she'll go back to the same salon. I was hoping someone else would have another idea. And yes, DW & I will probably at least help pay for it. ``

 

[QueenIsabella]

If she knew the rule before dyeing her hair, I would have to agree. That was a conscious decision to gamble on if they would be invited.

However, OP stated that they didn't know the rule of "unnatural hair" until a week ago. That key aspect was clarified in post in #17. I would have agreed if she knew. That wasn't the case, she didn't know. Could she have predicted it? With Disney relaxing their rules on CM's attire/appearance, I do not see this as a "no brainer." 5 years ago, very much so.

Absolutely, I would make my child pay for a speeding ticket. That is not on the same level. Maybe she could have looked up the rules before dyeing her hair, but really? This isn't a given like a speeding ticket is. If you speed, you need to expect you will be caught at some point ... says someone who has received and paid for a few in my life.

It wasn't clear if she knew of the rule before this--certainly, she knew Processional was a possibility. I have no way of knowing if the possibility was a strong one, or more remote. If it was more remote, I can see not giving it much thought, and then the group got lucky.

If it were my child, I'd still make them pay for the change. You (and the OP) are allowed to disagree with me. I just think it's a comparatively easy/painless taste of adulthood--which, let's face it, sometimes includes hard decisions and unexpected expenses.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

This sounds like a learning lesson for the daughter.

1) OP says the daughter knew before this year that the Processional was a possibility, that should have put the onus on the daughter to look up the rules and if the rules didn't sit right with her she would have had two choices either to not join the choir (not the choice I would have preferred) or discussed with the choir teacher about this whole wig thing well in advance of actually dying her hair.

2) Had the daughter looked up the rules she would have seen the no unnatural hair color part to it

3) Knowing that it would have been a good idea to NOT dye the hair on the off chance her choir was chosen to go (or gone with the discussing with the teacher well in advance), OP admits daughter knew this was all a possibility of being picked.

4) The time crunch issue is really on the daughter

5) The daughter made a choice it just sorta didn't work out here in the end, that does happen.

Sorry OP not as sympathetic here as others may be. I am however sympathetic to the unnatural hair color aspect, if that was a rule with the school I would have said try to work out with them but if it's a Disney rule it's unlikely to be something you can "fight the fight" on.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

However, OP stated that they didn't know the rule of "unnatural hair" until a week ago.

But a poster did find the rules from last year. I would think that if you knew it was a possibility of being part of it knowing the rules would be pretty important to look up. Didn't know and didn't choose to find out aren't the same thing here. I def. agree if the school was the only one privy to this information and dropped by the ball on telling people but if a random poster on the DIS can easily find the information and the daughter knew her choir could have been picked before the school year eh..that becomes more of "it's on you" here.

 

[Lord Manhammer]

We just had a parent meeting about the trip and I asked the teacher again about the wig and was told "no". It's not worth fighting over. The downside is too big. Either she's not allowed on the trip (and forfeits all the money) or not allowed to perform (and it could be Disney or the teacher who "catches" her). I'm glad some of you think that chance is worth taking, not me.

DD has already resigned herself to dying it back. I'm sure she'll go back to the same salon. I was hoping someone else would have another idea. And yes, DW & I will probably at least help pay for it. ``

I totally get your perspective. My devil-may-care approach is not for everyone. Have a great time and sorry your kid had to change her hair colour.

 

[fly girl]

It wasn't clear if she knew of the rule before this--certainly, she knew Processional was a possibility. I have no way of knowing if the possibility was a strong one, or more remote. If it was more remote, I can see not giving it much thought, and then the group got lucky.

If it were my child, I'd still make them pay for the change. You (and the OP) are allowed to disagree with me. I just think it's a comparatively easy/painless taste of adulthood--which, let's face it, sometimes includes hard decisions and unexpected expenses.

I see nothing wrong with your stance, it is a life lesson. Baby sting compared to many things to face in the future.

I think that’s why I’d help pay — because we all know the real road of adulting blows!

 

[sam_gordon]

I totally get your perspective. My devil-may-care approach is not for everyone. Have a great time and sorry your kid had to change her hair colour.

Unfortunately neither DW nor I get to go. We have to hope someone in the audience ends up posting it on YT.

 

[TinkAgainU]

I just read how your DD pays for this herself. With knowing this, I would pay for her to get her hair dyed to the normal color. This is too big of an opportunity for hair color to get in the way.

+1 on this. Performing at WDW could be a once in a lifetime memory. Tell her you'll gift her $xxx to help with the hair change (to change it to natural). Maybe she could live with the "natural" and just add a color streak when she returns home to tide her over until she has sufficient funds for her full-blown look again. Also, she likely owes it to the group to make this work for the rest of the choir too.