First, I'm sorry for your recent loss.
THIS exactly!
I was scrolling though hoping someone else said this by the time I came back.
Just because a sister was executor once, doesn't mean she was named executor for your mom's estate, even if your Dad had willed everything to your mom. Executorship (or whatever the proper word is,) doesn't carry over. Our family went through the same thing.
If your mom made a will, it is possible that YOU have been named executor. Or your brother. It could also be why your sister is trying to toss everything now before either of you get a hold of the will and stop her. It will be harder to get
back what they took, and to make any sort of inventory once she's tossed or stolen everything of value. Since she was made executor once, she has to know some of the laws to have carried out your father's wishes, even if it all was an easy transfer of the estate to your mother. There are certain forms to fill out. The process takes time. Time she might not want to give you and your brother if she and the other sister are robbing the house.
She can't tell you what to do and start throwing out stuff. You are now armed with some knowledge of the laws, something she probably wasn't expecting.
Until all of you see a will or find out there is none (and the estate goes to probate) NONE of you can really touch or toss items. ALL of you have to wait to see what the will says and who is executor. That person then must, follow the law and officially inventory and document all the items named in the will, then show with proof (that a court would accept, if there is a later dispute) that they were later distributed to the appropriate parties. SHE can't self-appoint herself as executor in the meantime.
When she starts ranting about throwing out stuff, you and your brother have to say, "We haven't seen a will or lack of one. We need to find out who the executor is. You have no rights to start tossing or removing items until we know what is in the will. If you do, we will call the police to stop you."
If she claims there is no will, then you say, "You had better hope there is, because if Mom's estate goes to probate, this will all take much longer to sort out." That may make her cough up the knowledge of a will.
Then DO call the police if you need to, if she hires a dumpster and starts tossing. Usually the police will really do nothing.
They will say it's all a civil matter. However, they will likely warn her and the other sister that they DO have to wait for a will to be found, or wait to go to probate and everything to be inventoried. You will get a
record/report/file that you had to have the police come. (Make sure you get the officer's name and log the time he came to the home, and what police precinct/station he will be filing the report of him coming out. He's supposed to file a report that he was called to the house and what the reason was. A copy of the file can later be be gotten from the police station.)
IF this all goes to probate later, or if it turns out, she is named executor but is doing underhanded things and not following the law, you may need it to show your sister(s) were behaving in an underhanded manner, stealing or tossing parts of the estate.
Even though the police will do nothing other then showing up and speaking to the sister(s), it will likely stop things from being tossed. Which is what you want. (Them later stealthily removing items is another matter.)
(Don't ask how I know all of this.
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