letting newborns cry it out

[Crystal824]

You're right... 8 weeks IS too young to let "cry it out".

I don't think I started that until the twins were around 6-7 months.

Right. My ped and most parenting books indicate that newborns should be picked up and soothed when crying.

 

[Alesia]

I'm extremely surprised at how many of you always pick up your babies within 45 seconds of them crying - and around the clock at that.

 

[Soldier's*Sweeties]

I'm extremely surprised at how many of you always pick up your babies within 45 seconds of them crying - and around the clock at that.

Newborn baby, assuming I am not busy with a "need to do" task, yes I would pick it up at any hour.

A baby who is a few months old I might make wait a little longer.

Once I feel like they are old enough to CIO, then at bedtime/naptime that's what happens...They CIO.

 

[FigmentFinder]

I'm extremely surprised at how many of you always pick up your babies within 45 seconds of them crying - and around the clock at that.

I do. She's over a year and I still would pick up up immediately if crying. Fortunately she has slept through the night since she turned 4 months.

 

[NYEmomma]

Newborn baby, assuming I am not busy with a "need to do" task, yes I would pick it up at any hour.

A baby who is a few months old I might make wait a little longer.

Once I feel like they are old enough to CIO, then at bedtime/naptime that's what happens...They CIO.

Same here.

 

[Alesia]

Newborn baby, assuming I am not busy with a "need to do" task, yes I would pick it up at any hour.

What "need to do" could possibly be more important than your baby?

Look, in all seriousness, if you really read the blog post objectively you will see that the baby is in no real danger. She's not letting the baby cry for hours on end - it's a few minutes. And she does, in fact, get up in the middle of the night to feed her. It may not be the way you choose to parent your children, but that doesn't make it wrong.

We, as parents, are all just doing the very best job we can, and for you all to so harshly criticize this woman is unfair and unkind. How would you feel if your sister-in-law decided that you were doing it wrong and decided to rant about it on facebook? And then (to add insult to injury) it went viral and strangers on the internet were all talking about what a terrible mother you are?

And don't try to say that you don't care what a bunch of strangers think, because you do. We all do. As much as we don't want to admit it, we all have moments of doubt. The one thing we want more than anything in the whole world is for our kids to grow up safe and healthy and happy. That means that we all secretly share the fear that we're doing something to screw that up.

 

[Soldier's*Sweeties]

What "need to do" could possibly be more important than your baby?

Look, in all seriousness, if you really read the blog post objectively you will see that the baby is in no real danger. She's not letting the baby cry for hours on end - it's a few minutes. And she does, in fact, get up in the middle of the night to feed her. It may not be the way you choose to parent your children, but that doesn't make it wrong.
We, as parents, are all just doing the very best job we can, and for you all to so harshly criticize this woman is unfair and unkind. How would you feel if your sister-in-law decided that you were doing it wrong and decided to rant about it on facebook? And then (to add insult to injury) it went viral and strangers on the internet were all talking about what a terrible mother you are?

And don't try to say that you don't care what a bunch of strangers think, because you do. We all do. As much as we don't want to admit it, we all have moments of doubt. The one thing we want more than anything in the whole world is for our kids to grow up safe and healthy and happy. That means that we all secretly share the fear that we're doing something to screw that up.

I agree. At first, even though I read the blog, I didn't. But after sitting back and thinking about the situation, I changed my mind.

And as far as "must do" tasks go...If I am up to my elbows bathing my dog, or showering, as long as there is no immediate danger, they can wait a few minutes...Even newborns.

 

[Magic Mom]

I agree. At first, even though I read the blog, I didn't.

And as far as "must do" tasks go...If I am up to my elbows bathing my dog, or showering, as long as there is no immediate danger, they can wait a few minutes...Even newborns.

<<GASP!>> How could you??You should really be jumping out of the shower, even with rivulets of shampoo dripping from your hair to pick up that baby to moment you hear it whimper...or how will it ever feel loved? Sadly your children will end up in juvenile detention now.

 

[Soldier's*Sweeties]

<<GASP!>> How could you??You should really be jumping out of the shower, even with rivulets of shampoo dripping from your hair to pick up that baby to moment you hear it whimper...or how will it ever feel loved? Sadly your children will end up in juvenile detention now.

Sometiimes I think they are well on their way!

 

[VAfamily1998]

What "need to do" could possibly be more important than your baby?

Look, in all seriousness, if you really read the blog post objectively you will see that the baby is in no real danger. She's not letting the baby cry for hours on end - it's a few minutes.
.

A few? Maybe I read a different blog than you. I thought it said 20 minutes? That's more than a few. For an 8 week old, that is 19 minutes and 59 seconds too long.

 

[Magic Mom]

Sometiimes I think they are well on their way!

Well pick them up fast!!

 

[FigmentFinder]

Serious, CIO question Doesn't anyone's baby puke if you leave them screaming? My daughter (as of last month) puked all over me when she couldn't stop crying.

I read the blog. IMO 20 minutes of crying alone is too much for a 2 month old. I'm sure other people have differing opinions.

According to my mother, my daughter is heading for juvie. She won't stop picking up other people's things when you say no. The kid has to learn, y'know.

 

[Cannot_Wait_4Disney]

Well who knows whether anything is accurate. So I'll not comment on the person's fitness or lack thereof to be a mother.

But let me just say that a baby at 8 weeks should not be left to cry it out. Now when the baby is older and you run into a situation where you get a WAAAAAAAH!!! and then when you walk in the baby immediately stands up and giggles, starts playing, and stops crying, you've got a let it cry it out for awhile situation on your hands. But not at 8 weeks.

 

[Heidict]

Well, she has deleted her controversial post, so thanks MagicMom for c&p what you did.

From what little I was able to read it doesn't sound as bad as I first imagined. My goodness, at the start of this thread I imagined some mother making her baby sleep on the floor of a tiny closet, crying their little eyes out all night long, being totally neglected. I was scared for that poor thing. Then I actually read stuff and realized that it is not anywhere near this bad.

Yes, make an 8 week old cry for 20 minutes in my book is excessive, but I'm sure she will not be the first or the last who has survived it. It's not like this child is screaming this long every night. From what I gathered, she only cries for a couple of minutes now.



I really wouldn't trust that sister in law. I can't believe she put that on facebook. What a noisy little gossip monger. If she was that concerned, then why didn't she pick up the phone and call her sister in law about it? Why blast it all over. This ought to make family gatherings real fun.

 

[Magic Mom]

Serious, CIO question Doesn't anyone's baby puke if you leave them screaming? My daughter (as of last month) puked all over me when she couldn't stop crying.

My son did not. And speaking just for our family, I think in the beginning it was about 20 minutes, and we would take turns every 5-7 minutes going in the room to rub his back for a few moments. The 20 minutes only lasted a few days. It gradually got less and less, and we monitored him very closely.

He is/was very close to us. Very loving, and was always independent and happy. I know some people like to pass sweeping judgements that a baby who had to CIO won't feel loved and can't learn to be independent, but that just isn't the case. Maybe if the family isn't particularly loving or attentive the rest of the day then CIO will just add fuel to that fire, but if a parent loves and dotes and cares for their child, 2 weeks of crying it out at bed time (not all night every night) just won't change that.

 

[VAfamily1998]

Serious, CIO question Doesn't anyone's baby puke if you leave them screaming? My daughter (as of last month) puked all over me when she couldn't stop crying.

Many babies vomit after crying too long. I know this because I've had several friends tell me with a HUGE grin and a giggle "Sometimes he'll cry and scream for over an hour before he falls asleep. And it's so sad because when I go in later to check on him.." (after the crying has stopped for several minutes, so they are sure he's given up and is asleep) "there's vomit all over the place because he cried so hard" giggle giggle. "it's so gross, but what else can I do?" Huge smile.

No kidding. I've had multiple people tell me "how sad" it is with HUGE smiles on their faces that they make their baby so hysterical with grief that they vomit. On a regular basis. Vile.

 

[Heidict]

Many babies vomit after crying too long. I know this because I've had several friends tell me with a HUGE grin and a giggle "Sometimes he'll cry and scream for over an hour before he falls asleep. And it's so sad because when I go in later to check on him.." (after the crying has stopped for several minutes, so they are sure he's given up and is asleep) "there's vomit all over the place because he cried so hard" giggle giggle. "it's so gross, but what else can I do?" Huge smile.

No kidding. I've had multiple people tell me "how sad" it is with HUGE smiles on their faces that they make their baby so hysterical with grief that they vomit. On a regular basis. Vile.

That is horrible. Do they at least clean it up or do they let them sleep in their own puke for fear of waking them up?

And how did you keep your mouth shut with them, because I have a feeling I might be saying something that would no longer make us friends.

 

[VAfamily1998]

That is horrible. Do they at least clean it up or do they let them sleep in their own puke for fear of waking them up?

And how did you keep your mouth shut with them, because I have a feeling I might be saying something that would no longer make us friends.

One person I know told me that she left it like that 'till the baby woke up in the morning. According to her, this happened on numerous occasions, until the baby was "trained" (to know not to bother crying because no one would come anyway).

That was the first person I ever heard anything like this from so when other people told me similar stories I didn't even bother asking--I didn't want to hear the same horrible answer again.

None of these people were very close friends, one is a relative (and I did tell her I thought it was horrible and mean) and the others were more aquaintances in very large playgroups.

 

[NYEmomma]

Serious, CIO question Doesn't anyone's baby puke if you leave them screaming? My daughter (as of last month) puked all over me when she couldn't stop crying.

Nope, DD never vomited from crying. She had severe reflux, was colicky & a high needs baby so I was covered in spit-up all day anyways and had her in my arms so much that my DH had to start working from home 3x a week and my mom came over the other 2 days during the week so that someone could hold her and bounce on the exercise ball so that I could get away long enough to pee.

We didn't start sleep training until the worst of the colic passed and we got meds straightened out for her reflux.

But if she WERE the type of baby that cried so hard she made herself sick, then I'd say that CIO wouldn't be the appropriate method for us to use. There's other approaches to teaching children to sleep and to self-soothe aside from CIO so if I were in that situation, I would have looked to some other way.

 

[HelenePA]

But that's what CIO is... well, if you're following any of the published, advised techniques such as Ferber, Weissbluth, etc. There isn't anyone that advocates not attending to a child when he or she wakes in the middle of the night. CIO is used specifically for putting a child to sleep.

Not by my definition... she said her baby was fussy and would not just fall asleep after hours of doing what ever she could to get her to sleep... so the baby would cry herself to sleep the first time when putting her down.. if the baby has been fed, changed is warm and in a safe place I see nothing wrong with this.. even at 8wks old... its not like she isn't picking her up in the middle of the night to feed her.. honestly I wish I would have done this with my now 3 yr old who hates sleep... my nights are horrible still. IF he sleep 4hrs straight I'm a doing a happy dance... Tuesday night he fell asleep at 9pm.. awesome but woke up at 3:30am for the day took a nap at 10am-12pm and was up until 10pm last night... its a never ending horrible sleep cycle I wish I could undo starting at 8wks old... I was one of those mom's who picked the kid up the second he started to fuss... even with my 4th... god I wish I could go back and undo what I have done

oh and my first was a puker, she came home on 24hr tube feeds that went into her intestines (tube started at her nose totally bypassed her stomach) if you looked at her the wrong way she'd puke on you...