letting my 9 year old dye her hair?

[C.Ann]

I'm curious as to why so many people seem to think that blue hair will lead to a moral spiral and aging before her time..

Did anyone actually post this here? If so, I must have missed it..

In my last post I explained a little better what I should have in the post prior to that.. There's more to this than just coloring her hair for the summer for fun.. There are problems with getting it back to an acceptable color.. Problems with the school if it can't be corrected in time for opening day.. And yes - there are people who will "judge" - whether they should or they shouldn't.. As I said in my last post, before agreeing to this, mom needs to look at the "big picture"..

Actually I think a few hair extensions would be fine - and much easier to deal with in terms of getting her hair back to a natural color and not having issues with the school or anyone else..

 

[georgina]

So, connecting two threads here--I wonder if kids who are taught to worry about what the new kids they might want to be friends with parents think about their hair style or color grow up to be women who keep their hair long because their husbands tell them they have to

On the contrary, I think they may be the ones who grow up to think they can't keep their hair long after 40 because others think it doesn't look good!

I wouldn't care what the OP does with her DD's hair. I don't believe in coloring hair, so I wouldn't let my child do it. My DS does have hair longer than my DD's, however - hasn't had it cut in 2 years.

 

[debster812]

Just because this request gets a yes, doesn't mean that every request will get an answer of yes.

This is actually a terrific point. When DS was a toddler, and very young child, our least favorite errand was grocery shopping, but alas, it's a necessary evil. Sometimes if he was super good, I'd offer him a treat, sometimes he'd ask for one. If he asked, the answer was sometimes no, but sometimes yes. We never once had a tantrum because he could not get a treat, because he knew that it might be an option next time.

I think sprinkling in a few fun "Yes's" among all the "No's" we have to dole out as parents helps smooth the way for everyone.

 

[DawnCt1]

sounds like you care alot about what ppl look like instead of how ppl are on the inside.. I've always taught my kids even thought ppl might look different they are just like you.. I dont care if my kids friend have pink hair and polka dot skin or have one arm or one leg.. its what's inside that counts right? that's what my mom taught me and what I'm teaching my kids

I don't care at all and that is the truth. Interestingly enough, I had the same conversation not more than 3 months ago with a friend who was distraught that her DD dyed her long chestnut brown hair, HOT PINK! Her DD is in college! I told her that it was only hair. Lots of girls go through this, she is a great kid, a good student, works hard, etc. After all of these years, I have learned a lot about parents. They don't always mean what they say and suddenly their children are "busy". Again, a lot depends upon the culture of the town, the neighborhood, etc. In our area, I can't recall seeing anyone younger than a teen with an artificial color hair. In other areas, that may be routine.

 

[Aristomommy]

I must be boring, because I would not let DD10 dye her hair any color if she asked me to. She has hair clips with different fake hair hair attached to them from purple to pink and she also has other ways of expressing herself. DDs hair is a beautiful color and I'm sure in her teenage years she will want different colors and I'm ok with that. But why rush it at this age? Once DD is really ready for it, I will have it professionally done, because I have had too many box color nightmares myself.

 

[imabrat]

If it's temporary, I say why not? She's young, it's just hair. I don't think permanent dye is good just because of all the horror stories I've seen involving permanent dye.

Dyed hair will not lead to a downward spiral. I guess those who think that may also think I'm in a downward spiral. When I was 10, I put blue temporary streaks in my hair. When I was 14, I permanently dyed my hair auburn. For my 16th birthday, I got a tattoo. I think I'm a good kid - I'm in honors classes, I've never been written up in school, and I don't wreak havoc in public places.
And honestly, I don't care what someone would think if my childs hair was dyed blue in the summer. It's hair, it's dead cells growing on the top of your head. (One of the most important lessons I learnt on chemo, lol) If you don't like it, don't look at it.

Go for it OP, you only get to live once so have fun when you can! Good luck with the hair coloring!

PS - Helene, happy birthday to Aidan! Hope he has a great birthday!

 

[Buckalew11]

I'm opposed to it.

And if I have to fix a little kid's blue hair you better believe I'm charging a pretty penny for corrective color.

DD knows a girl who has been every color of the rainbow. I keep waiting for it to all fall out. Right now it is a muddy greenish brown color because she has tried getting it back to her natural color. It is terrible.

 

[The Orchid]

My biggest concern doing this (coming from a woman who had her head shaved in high school, dyed every color you can imagine, and has 2 boys who have had mohawks, bleached blonde, blonde tipped and currently have (1) long and (1) reaaaaalllly long - longer than my - hair, with an eyebrow piercing and an industrial piercing) is what it will look like when it starts to fade.

All those bright colors are HARD to maintain and fade something fierce. I had Matrix Red Lights once (anyone remember those?) BRIGHT crayon red highlights, that faded to pink - seriously - within a week or so.

If it were me, I would let her do it - BUT I would only do the entire underside. Her crown will maintain it's 'honey' dignity, and when you need to re-bleach or color the previously blue hair - you will have healthier hair to handle that.

I just worry about swimming, and the sun... it's gonna fade, faaast.

Now see, these are logical, common sense issues to consider when deciding whether or not to allow your kid to get her hair dyed. Worrying about what other people will think are not good reasons to decide if she gets her hair colored. Who the heck cares what other people think? Most will be fine with it, and those who aren't probably are not the kind of people a fun-loving family really wants to attract to their child anyway!

 

[The Orchid]

Letting her do it will establish a precedent for any other children. Older siblings will say "You never let me..." Younger ones will say "When I'm 7, can I dye my hair?"

I see this as an opportunity to teach her to like herself instead of pining for what she can change. My oldest impulsively dyed her hair lighter and it looks awful, she admits. It'll grow out, but she'll look very strange with two-tone hair unless she gets it fixed professionally.

Just because she wants to dye her hair *temporarily* doesn't mean she doesn't like herself the way she is. I love my brown hair and am attracted romantically to women with brown hair. Yet I put blond highlights in my hair a few months ago, just for a little change and I LOVE it. I won't do this forever, but for a year or two, sure. And I'm sure at some point I'll go right back to my normal color. It's about having fun, trying some change, keeping things exciting...it's not about liking or not liking who or how you are.

I'm sorry your oldest daughter had a color job she didn't like. I've had many a hair cut I hated. It's just part of life for adventurous people; experimenting with the different styles and colors. It's no different from trying different styles of clothing. It's just harmless fun!

Now if the kid wants to go out and get tattooed, I might be in the "don't let her do it!!!!!!!!!!!" camp. lmao! Though I must admit, I considered crossing the border so my then 16 year old daughter could get a rainbow treble clef tattooed on her arm. I chose to wait, only cuz I didn't want to hassle of going to Vancouver and finding a reputable tattoo parlour. She'll be 18 next week and the first order of business will be for her to get her tattoo. It's gonna be small, tasteful, and will represent a passion I am sure will be part of her life til the day she dies. No big deal!

 

[tinatark]

I wouldn't let her.

I understand the posters who say you should be concerned about what other parents might think - as a parent I would wonder what else was allowed, if a 9 year old had dyed-blue hair. Kind of when you see girls that age with short shorts, excessive make up, etc... you just wonder what else is allowed.

OTOH, you have to live with this decision - the next out-there idea she has, she will remind you that you let her dye her hair blue when she was 9.

 

[ReneeA]

I would worry LESS about what others think and worry more about the permanent/fading nature of wild colors. I am wwwwaaaaaaayyyy too cheap to pay the $100+ to have the damage fixed at the end of summer. My DD would end up with a buzz cut instead of paying to have it fixed.

I'd have no problem going the spray temporary color route that you can buy at Halloween.

 

[JessicaR]

What if she wants it cut short? what if she wants to grow it long? what if she wants a perm? its hair.. we aren't talking major life decisions here..

Thats exactly how I feel. No way do we sweat the little things and hair is absolutely a little thing.

If it gives them some sense of control over their choices so be it! I don't give a crud what anybody else thinks. Blue hair for summer sounds great if thats what she wants.

 

[disney1990]

I'm a fuddy duddy b/c I wouldn't let a 9 year old dye her hair a "natural" color, much less blue.

I was finally allowed to get blonde highlights when I was 14, and I was so excited and thought it was such a huge deal.

I just think 9 is way too young for that kind of stuff. Just my humble opinion!

Lots of strong opinions out there. But circumstances can change your opinion in a heartbeat -- believe me when I say it.

My son-in-law is one of the most conservative members of our family. His daughters now 9 and almost 11 had never been able to wear 2 piece bathing suits or wear tops that show even a tiny bit of their belly. He was concerned about how short their dresses where.

Just over 2 years ago, our darling granddaughter, 8 years old, was diagnosed with cancer - Non-Hodgkin's Lymphoma (Burkitt). Overnight she went from being a normal little girl, to having a tumor in her abdomen that wrapped around everyone of her major organs. The tumor was so large, that it protruded from the incision that they made in her tummy to try and get a piece to biopsy. We almost lost her on the operating table, not once, but twice. They finally managed to get the biopsy done and determined what was wrong with her -- and she started chemo.

Now this was an 8 year old that was going to lose all her hair. So they had a friend come to Children's National Medical center and cut her hair into a mohawk. They they dyed her hair pink (yes it was temporary). Even several of the nurses dyed their hair to match my granddaughters. She was so sick and lost all of her hair fairly quickly. Other parents at the hospital thought their their approach to trying to make light of a very serious situation was great for our granddaughter.

Two years later, her Dad has changed the battles that he fights. The family recently went on their Make A Wish trip and he went out bought the girls 2 piece bathing suits and cute little halter tops for the trip. Dad's still conservative, but he is much for open to giving into his daughters these days.

 

[almburr]

Im a mom who has the blue, pink, or purple hair, I work in education and am a coach. I have let my daughters dye thier hair. DD14 has been for a few years, she is going to have orange put in. DD10 has had hers purple, and DD6 has had hers burgundy last year.

I see nothing wrong with it. Coloring your hair does not make you strange or out there. DD14 is a class officer, in sports and involved with the community. THe other are just as involved. The only thing is I wont do it myself we have our stylist color it.

 

[HighClass]

While the opinions of others may not matter to your or I as adults, children often feel quite differently. So much depends upon the culture of the town the child lives in. If she is going to be way out of the mainstream because of a hair color choice, that is probably not a decision she should make. If she is going to blend in with her peer group, it may be more acceptable.

I agree. A teen relative of ours lives in a big city, goes to the High school on the "wrong side of town." Two years ago , she went thru the Goth Stage-beautiful blond hair dyed black, all the black lipstick etc. we were all quite shocked by her appearance. Since then, she started hanging with older kids, bad kids, got into a lot of bad stuff. This spring, she was expelled from school for selling drugs on the school bus and can not go to ANY public school in her city.Mom kicked her out, her divorced Dad has her.

and it all started with a crazy hair dye job

 

[aprilgail2]

Lots of strong opinions out there. But circumstances can change your opinion in a heartbeat -- believe me when I say it.


Just over 2 years ago, our darling granddaughter, 8 years old, was diagnosed with cancer - Non-Hodgkin's Lymphoma (Burkitt). Overnight she went from being a normal little girl, to having a tumor in her abdomen that wrapped around everyone of her major organs. The tumor was so large, that it protruded from the incision that they made in her tummy to try and get a piece to biopsy. We almost lost her on the operating table, not once, but twice. They finally managed to get the biopsy done and determined what was wrong with her -- and she started chemo.

Now this was an 8 year old that was going to lose all her hair. So they had a friend come to Children's National Medical center and cut her hair into a mohawk. They they dyed her hair pink (yes it was temporary). Even several of the nurses dyed their hair to match my granddaughters. She was so sick and lost all of her hair fairly quickly. Other parents at the hospital thought their their approach to trying to make light of a very serious situation was great for our granddaughter.

Two years later, her Dad has changed the battles that he fights. The family recently went on their Make A Wish trip and he went out bought the girls 2 piece bathing suits and cute little halter tops for the trip. Dad's still conservative, but he is much for open to giving into his daughters these days.

BINGO!!!!! Once you have a family member that has been through things like this I think you are more laid back than people that have not. My godson got Leukemia at 2 years old, by 5 he had a pierced ear- he always wanted one and the deal was that once he finished treatment he could get it. After losing his hair he did not cut it again either, he was the kindergarten kid with a pony tail and an earring....who cares...did it matter at all to anyone else?? It made him happy and got him through a rough time. He relapsed after that and again, once treatment was done he could get a second earring in the same ear- so he was then a 4th grade kid with 2 earring and no hair, but it grew back and he kept it long for a long time after that. When he was 14 he passed away, so he had 2 earrings and long hair, it made him happy so it made us happy. I wouldn't have cared if he dyed his long blond hair green with pink polka dots if we could just have him still here with us. I pick my battles much more carefully with my daughter than other people do wth their kids....in the blink of an eye it can all be over and I don't want to sit there thinking about all the petty crap we fought about rather than the good times we had.

 

[aprilgail2]

I agree. A teen relative of ours lives in a big city, goes to the High school on the "wrong side of town." Two years ago , she went thru the Goth Stage-beautiful blond hair dyed black, all the black lipstick etc. we were all quite shocked by her appearance. Since then, she started hanging with older kids, bad kids, got into a lot of bad stuff. This spring, she was expelled from school for selling drugs on the school bus and can not go to ANY public school in her city.Mom kicked her out, her divorced Dad has her.

and it all started with a crazy hair dye job

My god daughter went through that crazy goth stage, dyed her blond hair black, got the eyebrow pierced, would only wear block studded stuff, black lipstick, all the "dark" music....then she grew out of it and is now going to college to be a social worker. SO her crazy dye job didn't do any harm.

 

[raysnkaysmom]

I only read the first page....

I personally wouldnt' let my daughter....
BUT,
I wouldn't care if another mom let their own daughter....

 

[christiane]

Go for it! If you're not sure how much of a commitment you want, then try Manic Panic Dye Hard or Glam Strips.

My children play around with their hair colour all the time. Usually for Crazy Hair days at school or for their sports teams. The boys usually go for all-over colour, but my girls like the Glam Strips, especially in their pony tails.

Have fun & take lots of pictures!

 

[JoanGirardi]

My sons went through the phase (in elementary school) of bleaching part of their hair so they could put food coloring in it to dye it different colors. The next phase was growing their hair really long. That lasted a couple of years. Now they have very short, very conservative haircuts--One's in college, one's still in high school. No piercings or tatoos, no ill effects from letting them do whatever they wanted with their hair. Some battles aren't worth fighting, in my opinion.