Let your daughter spend night with friend...only Dad home?

[Kitty 34]

I don't know why this would even be a question.

 

[mnrose]

Such an odd thing to do. My husband was a stay at home dad to my twins (boy and girl) for the first 6 years of their lives. He often hosted other people's children when I wasn't there. That's part of the gig of a stay at home parent. Good grief.

He's not a child molester. He's not a rapist. He's a solid guy with his head screwed on straight.

 

[Allison]

I don't know why this would even be a question.

It's really very sad.

 

[Dawnlight]

Better safe than sorry? Yeah, because all men and teen boys are predators (all except their husbands and sons).

 

[dclpluto]

The last post like this was sad I have boys, but just as I would let them go to a sleepover at a house where only the mom was there, I would let girls go to a sleepover where only a dad was present.

Having male gentalia does not immediately make someone a rapist or incapable of properly supervising children.

I was thinking about that thread also.

 

[dclpluto]

This is probably going to turn into a popcorn thread. Who is making the popcorn no salt on mine please my doctor saids I need to watch my sodium. Thanks

 

[sk!mom]

Yes, I would have let my child stay over without a thought.

I would, however, be very upset with the "mutual friends." If you didn't stand up for the dad to them, then please do so now.

I would have replied, "why would you say that?" Unless they came back with some real concern, I would have said, "your comment is extremely offensive and damaging to this dad's reputation if you're spreading this stuff around so you really should STOP now!"

 

[ronandannette]

How old are the girls? The only benefit of the doubt I could give is if they meant it in a "the mom is strict, the dad may let them get away with anything" sense.

I would be bothered by the mutual friends who are insinuating that men are likely to be predators and should not be left in charge of children---not at all bothered by just dad being there while my daughter spent the night with close friends.

I guess they feel the men are all disgusting predators with only their wives to keep them in line. These are not women I could be more than a passing acquaintance with.

This topic has been discussed here a few times before and I'm guessing that's why everybody's rushing to assume that there's been an implication that the dad is "creepy" in some way. Given that these people are all friends, I think sonnyjane is way more likely to have gotten it right here - thinking horses instead of zebras, KWIM?

 

[LiveYourLife]

This is probably going to turn into a popcorn thread. Who is making the popcorn no salt on mine please my doctor saids I need to watch my sodium. Thanks

The OP of this thread is what I like to call a hit and run poster. Posts a controversial subject, leaves, and never returns. He did it with the Chik-Fil-A thread, as well as, the 20+ page airplane seat thread.

Shenanigans, I say!!!!

 

[CaoilinnsMom]

I get why all of you post, "of course it does not matter" and make fun of people who are cautious. While you may have all had good experiences, sleepovers are a place where abuse occurs. It could be the parents, siblings, or friends hazing the girl. It does happen, although the chances are small. There is nothing wrong with being cautious.

 

[DisneyFan32WI]

Well, the OP is definitely here and reading this thread as of one minute ago according to her profile.

 

[mom2rtk]

I get why all of you post, "of course it does not matter" and make fun of people who are cautious. While you may have all had good experiences, sleepovers are a place where abuse occurs. It could be the parents, siblings, or friends hazing the girl. It does happen, although the chances are small. There is nothing wrong with being cautious.

I think it all comes down to how one defines "being cautious". I don't think anyone here is advocating throwing caution to the wind and sending our kids anywhere they are asked, whether we know the parents or not. But there are some who would automatically say no just because the mom would not be home. That's more than just being "cautious".

 

[cmarsh31]

When I read the heading of this thread, I thought - of course, why wouldn't I? It wasn't until I read the replies that it dawned on me (because it was so normal in my life) - I was that girl too - my parents were divorced, every other week was at my Dad's. Tons of my friends slept over at my dad's house when I was growing up.

 

[Hikergirl]

I get why all of you post, "of course it does not matter" and make fun of people who are cautious. While you may have all had good experiences, sleepovers are a place where abuse occurs. It could be the parents, siblings, or friends hazing the girl. It does happen, although the chances are small. There is nothing wrong with being cautious.

I don't consider never letting your child sleepover where only the dad is as cautious. I consider it to be paranoia.

Growing up I lived with my single dad, and a bunch of my friends parents were divorced so we all spent time sleeping over when we were at our Dad's house. How sad it would have been if none of us were allowed to do that.
I wonder if all the people who worry so much that every Dad at a sleepover is a molester is just as worried about the men in their own family. Your child is more likely to be molested by their own family member than someone elses. Food for thought when you decide who to leave your child alone with.

 

[Happyinwonerland]

I get why all of you post, "of course it does not matter" and make fun of people who are cautious. While you may have all had good experiences, sleepovers are a place where abuse occurs. It could be the parents, siblings, or friends hazing the girl. It does happen, although the chances are small. There is nothing wrong with being cautious.

But if the dad is a danger when mom's away, then he'd be a danger when mom is home. If you get a creepy vibe from someone, don't leave your kid there, ever, no matter who is home. Because someone intent on doing harm will find a way to do it even if their spouse is there.

 

[nugov2]

The notion that it is unsafe just because only dad is home makes my blood boil. My dh is amazing and is sometimes home alone with my dd and her friends when they sleepover and he even....gasp...plays board games with them or takes them outside and plays soccer. Very disturbing point of view.

Now this doesn't mean you shouldn't be aware of the home your kids are going to, but the moms and dads should be equally scrutinized. A blanket statement of no dads alone with my girls is a disturbing sentiment IMO and sends a very scary meesage to girls.

 

[indimom]

I have and I would again.

 

[Missy1961]

The OP of this thread is what I like to call a hit and run poster. Posts a controversial subject, leaves, and never returns. He did it with the Chik-Fil-A thread, as well as, the 20+ page airplane seat thread.

Shenanigans, I say!!!!

I've noticed that too.

 

[Missy1961]

The last post like this was sad I have boys, but just as I would let them go to a sleepover at a house where only the mom was there, I would let girls go to a sleepover where only a dad was present.

Having male gentalia does not immediately make someone a rapist or incapable of properly supervising children.

I think we've all seen threads like that over the years. And I may not be a parent, but I have brothers and a father and nephews and they make me sad too.

 

[Goofy_Disney_Dad]