Kindergarten question ... am I being irrational?

[eyeheartgoofy]

My DD5 is in Kindergarten. Next week, she is student of the week. In preparation for this big event, DD brought home a list of questions to fill out and share with the class next week. The last question is: Who is your best friend?

Is it just me, or does that seem like a horrible question for a kid to answer in front of the whole class? It just seems like a guaranteed way to hurt someone's feelings. Girls are so snippy anyway ... they don't need an incentive! I've already heard countless tales of "So and So said I can't be her friend anymore" from both of my DD's. I just can't figure out why the teacher would put that question on a getting to know you form.

Would this bother anyone else, or am I just being irrational?

 

[AKL_Megs]

Can't YOU be her best friend?

I think I would have said, "My mommy is my best friend!"

Or how about a sister, or an aunt, or a cousin?

 

[eyeheartgoofy]

Can't YOU be her best friend?

I think I would have said, "My mommy is my best friend!"

Or how about a sister, or an aunt, or a cousin?

If I don't X the question out, I think I will have her answer "My Sister"...

I just can't figure out why a teacher would have a little kid answer that kind of question. These are little kids who get upset when so and so chooses not to sit by them at circle time. I don't get it.

 

[Magic Mom]

Are we so politically correct now that we can't even let our kids say who their best friend is without fear of disappointing someone? Sharing friends is part of life. Little Kelly might be sad that your daughter named someone else, but that kind of experience will help her grow and deal with bigger problems later in life. We can't protect our kids from every little slight. Our jobs as parents aren't just to protect, we also need to teach our kids resiliency so they can bounce back from disappointments. If we shelter them from every let down, they will never learn to do that.

 

[eyeheartgoofy]

Are we so politically correct now that we can't even let our kids say who their best friend is without fear of disappointing someone? Sharing friends is part of life. Little Kelly might be sad that your daughter named someone else, but that kind of experience will help her grow and deal with bigger problems later in life. We can't protect our kids from every little slight. Our jobs as parents aren't just to protect, we also need to teach our kids resiliency so they can bounce back from disappointments. If we shelter them from every let down, they will never learn to do that.

So, I guess you think I'm being irrational then, eh?

 

[Magic Mom]

So, I guess you think I'm being irrational then, eh?

Maybe, just a little.

 

[BuffettFan]

Are we so politically correct now that we can't even let our kids say who their best friend is without fear of disappointing someone? Sharing friends is part of life. Little Kelly might be sad that your daughter named someone else, but that kind of experience will help her grow and deal with bigger problems later in life. We can't protect our kids from every little slight. Our jobs as parents aren't just to protect, we also need to teach our kids resiliency so they can bounce back from disappointments. If we shelter them from every let down, they will never learn to do that.

I totally agree with everything you said Magic Mom!

And yes, OP I think you're being a bit irrational

 

[mamacatnv]

It's been a few years but if I remember correctly the best friend was a big deal in kindergarten. I see nothing wrong with it and so yes, I think you are over reacting.

BTW DD's BFF from kindergarten was a boy and their picture per her request still has a prominent spot on the fridge.

 

[hanutedmansionmomma]

I don't know if it's irrational as much as overthinking...

She will probably share this info once in circle time and be done....then the next child will the next day, etc. etc.

probably not as big of a deal to a group of 5 year olds sitting on a carpet as it is to us grown ups

 

[Teacher03]

Your heart is in the right place, but yeah, irrational! If this upsets you, it is going to be a LONG 12 years until graduation! If feelings are hurt, it will quickly be forgotten. I would allow your daughter to answer the question, whether it is her sister or someone from class.

 

[cinmell]

I totally agree with everything you said Magic Mom!

And yes, OP I think you're being a bit irrational

Ditto.

 

[shortbun]

I think she should answer that she has lots of 'best friends!' I have about 10 'best friends' and while some of them are closer than others, I would never name one of them in front of the rest of them....why would I want to? I want to keep all my friends around me close. I don't think it has anything to do with 'political correctness', imho, it has to do with really being best friends and never wanting to hurt one of them. It's a lesson a kindergartener can learn. Just like the old girl scout song from the 50s "Make new friends but keep the old. Some are silver and the others gold." We sang that song in round over and over again at every meeting while we held hands and smiled at each other. Schmaltzy maybe but truly a good code to live by.

I agree that we can and should teach our children to be resiliant. I don't think we should be teaching our children that it is ok to intentionally hurt someone's feelings if it can be avoided easily. There are sooooo many disappointments and failures ahead of them-why create them?

 

[ICF]

Would this bother anyone else, or am I just being irrational?

no and yes----at this age a kids best friend changes like the weather. I think it's much ado about nothing.

 

[Buckalew11]

I'd probably do the same as Shortbun.
Unless she already has an obvious "joined at the hip BF" who everyone already knows anyway. It is so early in the year, she probably doesn't know enough about the kids in class to pick. In K, I would have said "my cousin karen" because we were in there together and we were BF. However, my DD didn't have a BF in K as she was just getting to know the kids.

 

[pirateofthecarolinas]

With teachers, I've learned to choose my battles wisely. As a former teacher I know how if feels to be on both sides. I've learned to let some things go. Right now I am struggling with my own advice concerning my son's 2nd grade teacher.

 

[RunningGirl]

Are we so politically correct now that we can't even let our kids say who their best friend is without fear of disappointing someone? Sharing friends is part of life. Little Kelly might be sad that your daughter named someone else, but that kind of experience will help her grow and deal with bigger problems later in life. We can't protect our kids from every little slight. Our jobs as parents aren't just to protect, we also need to teach our kids resiliency so they can bounce back from disappointments. If we shelter them from every let down, they will never learn to do that.

 

[mickeyboat]

I have two 4th grade DDs. Right now who is your best friend is a big deal. In K, not so much.

I think the K teacher would know if the best friend question would cause a big problem among K kids.

If your DD has a problem answering the question, don't have her answer it. If she's o.k. with it, I think there's no problem.

 

[golfgal]

If you put that your mom is your best friend the kids will laugh. Most kids that age know who everyone's best friend is anyway. Yes, I think you are being irrational. If you start looking at these things as a learning experience for your child vs something that will hurt their feelings and you want to protect them from that your school experience will be much easier.

 

[RadioNate]

It is like what, the 4th week of school? Your DD (and all the other kids) actually already have a best friend? I think irrational is the wrong word. I'm going with 'over-reaching.'

I don't think it is a big deal at all. I don't remember either way if this question was on our Star of the Week questionnaire and if it was I don't remember who DS answered.

Who IS her best friend? The questions are just prompts to get the kids talking anyway.

 

[Liberty Belle]

My DD5 is in Kindergarten. Next week, she is student of the week. In preparation for this big event, DD brought home a list of questions to fill out and share with the class next week. The last question is: Who is your best friend?

Is it just me, or does that seem like a horrible question for a kid to answer in front of the whole class? It just seems like a guaranteed way to hurt someone's feelings. Girls are so snippy anyway ... they don't need an incentive! I've already heard countless tales of "So and So said I can't be her friend anymore" from both of my DD's. I just can't figure out why the teacher would put that question on a getting to know you form.

Would this bother anyone else, or am I just being irrational?

We did that in a first grade class I was in (I'm a para educator) and I didn't like it. It didn't cause any obvious problems, but I would see some faces fall.