Kindergarten question ... am I being irrational?

[npmommie]

Can't YOU be her best friend?

I think I would have said, "My mommy is my best friend!"

Or how about a sister, or an aunt, or a cousin?

a few years ago a friend of mine told me they did this exact thing in her son's K class. He said his mommy is his best friend, the teacher said mom can't be your best friend! you have to pick someone else, well he still said mom is my best friend!! i guess teacher forced him to name someone else, he came home all upset over this

It's been a few years but if I remember correctly the best friend was a big deal in kindergarten. I see nothing wrong with it and so yes, I think you are over reacting.

BTW DD's BFF from kindergarten was a boy and their picture per her request still has a prominent spot on the fridge.

LOL my dd's bff is a boy too

 

[golfgal]

We did that in a first grade class I was in (I'm a para educator) and I didn't like it. It didn't cause any obvious problems, but I would see some faces fall.

So...?

Honestly, by not letting kids experience these little disappointments in life we are REALLY doing them a HUGE disservice. No one likes to see their child sad or upset but isn't it much better to learn to deal with these things when you are 6 vs being 23 and can't get over the fact you didn't get the job you wanted or someone you are dating breaks up with you, or someone you want to date won't?

DD has a huge crush on a boy at school. She was really hoping that he would ask her to the homecoming dance. She found out that he had a wedding to go to and can't go to the dance. Instead of sitting home and moping she is going with a bunch of friends. It is called dealing with life.

 

[Liberty Belle]

So...?

Honestly, by not letting kids experience these little disappointments in life we are REALLY doing them a HUGE disservice. No one likes to see their child sad or upset but isn't it much better to learn to deal with these things when you are 6 vs being 23 and can't get over the fact you didn't get the job you wanted or someone you are dating breaks up with you, or someone you want to date won't?

DD has a huge crush on a boy at school. She was really hoping that he would ask her to the homecoming dance. She found out that he had a wedding to go to and can't go to the dance. Instead of sitting home and moping she is going with a bunch of friends. It is called dealing with life.

So...it was sad and I didn't like seeing it. These kids already know they're not so and so's best friend. A reminder in front of the class just wasn't necessary. Yes, they do learn, but it's always nicest to learn in privacy and not as an announcement in front of all your classmates.

And as for your DD...I don't get your point. That seems a normal reaction to me. Your last sentence was rude and condescending.

 

[golfgal]

So...it was sad and I didn't like seeing it. These kids already know they're not so and so's best friend. A reminder in front of the class just wasn't necessary. Yes, they do learn, but it's always nicest to learn in privacy and not as an announcement in front of all your classmates.

And as for your DD...I don't get your point. That seems a normal reaction to me. Your last sentence was rude and condescending.

Not at all. I IS life. Like I said, it is sad to see their little faces but again, it IS life. Taking away these disappointments is just WRONG and harmful to the kids, much more then Suzy announcing that Sally is her best friend and not Janie--which happens publicly on the playground every day anyway. It isn't anything new to these kids.

 

[Liberty Belle]

Not at all. I IS life. Like I said, it is sad to see their little faces but again, it IS life. Taking away these disappointments is just WRONG and harmful to the kids, much more then Suzy announcing that Sally is her best friend and not Janie--which happens publicly on the playground every day anyway. It isn't anything new to these kids.

Yes, I get that. Again, this is usually a fairly private matter, or amongst three or four kids, not the whole class. And, yes, I do know it IS life, that is why I found your words condescending.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

I think you are being irrational. My kids all have best friends. Heck I have a best friend.

 

[mjkacmom]

I think you are being irrational. My kids all have best friends. Heck I have a best friend.

All of my kids have more than one bff, so it would be tough to pick one over the other, especially if they're all in the same class. While it wouldn't bother me with my kids, we all know there are one or two children with NO friends - at least it's this way with the kids in my childrens' classes. Usually, they end up having underlying issues, that eventually get addressed, but I would feel sorry for the child who either doesn't have a name to put down, or who puts down a name, and gets told he was mistaken.

 

[Liberty Belle]

All of my kids have more than one bff, so it would be tough to pick one over the other, especially if they're all in the same class. While it wouldn't bother me with my kids, we all know there are one or two children with NO friends - at least it's this way with the kids in my childrens' classes. Usually, they end up having underlying issues, that eventually get addressed, but I would feel sorry for the child who either doesn't have a name to put down, or who puts down a name, and gets told he was mistaken.

That's happened a few times, too. You'll hear a sort of quiet "I'm not his best friend!" Poor kid.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

All of my kids have more than one bff, so it would be tough to pick one over the other, especially if they're all in the same class. While it wouldn't bother me with my kids, we all know there are one or two children with NO friends - at least it's this way with the kids in my childrens' classes. Usually, they end up having underlying issues, that eventually get addressed, but I would feel sorry for the child who either doesn't have a name to put down, or who puts down a name, and gets told he was mistaken.

Okay- I get what you are saying but I'll go from my experience. I was the kid who didn't have the best friend. It wasn't like I didn't know I wasn't best friends with anyone. Whether they put it on the student of the week thing or not I still knew and so did everyone else. It wouldn't have mattered.
Also, why not put down more than one person for your best friend if that is the case?

 

[golfgal]

Yes, I get that. Again, this is usually a fairly private matter, or amongst three or four kids, not the whole class. And, yes, I do know it IS life, that is why I found your words condescending.

Whatever.

 

[golfgal]

Okay- I get what you are saying but I'll go from my experience. I was the kid who didn't have the best friend. It wasn't like I didn't know I wasn't best friends with anyone. Whether they put it on the student of the week thing or not I still knew and so did everyone else. It wouldn't have mattered.
Also, why not put down more than one person for your best friend if that is the case?

Some kids probably do put down more then one friend. I know when our kids did this in kindergarten DD put down a couple names-we saved them because they were so dang cute. She still considers one of those kids her best friend today. She also put down that she wanted to be a cat when she grew up which pretty much goes to show how much these things really mean in the long run.

 

[Liberty Belle]

Whatever.

Yep.

 

[Nancy]

Not at all. I IS life. Like I said, it is sad to see their little faces but again, it IS life. Taking away these disappointments is just WRONG and harmful to the kids, much more then Suzy announcing that Sally is her best friend and not Janie--which happens publicly on the playground every day anyway. It isn't anything new to these kids.

Okay- I get what you are saying but I'll go from my experience. I was the kid who didn't have the best friend. It wasn't like I didn't know I wasn't best friends with anyone. Whether they put it on the student of the week thing or not I still knew and so did everyone else. It wouldn't have mattered.
Also, why not put down more than one person for your best friend if that is the case?

That was my thought too..."my best friends are x, y and z." doesn't have to be just one name

 

[Blueeyes101817]

Im a Kindergarten teacher and they do talk about their best friends...they will draw a picture of their best friend, tell a story about their best friend, etc. Of course, the best friends change every time we do a different project/activity. I have never seen hurt feelings in my classroom due to these projects--the kids all seem to love them!