Kid Birthday party RSVP question

[roseaster]

This why it is so much easier and so much less drama with teens/tweens. The 13 and 11 year old want sleepovers (girls) and just invite their good friends verbally. The 15 and 17 year olds just want money "to hang out with friends."
Last year (17 year old twins, summer bday) we bought them and 2 friends tickets to Great Adventure (local Six Flags) and gave them spending money and put them on the bus there. (I know, un-Dis like) They had a great time, stayed open til close and then crashed here until 1 the next afternoon LOL.

My 10 year old. My only boy, likes to invite 3 friends to do something. Laser tag, go carts, Dave and Buster's.

I really am glad that we are able to avoid the whole elementary school party drama

 

[cmarsh31]

Last minute. As close to RSVP date as possible... except the one party that I literally got the invite on Thurs for a Saturday party (and didn't know the girl at all). That one I admit I forgot to RSVP to at all...Forget the B list, that felt like the C list

Thank goodness my kids are past the age for these types of parties. Now it's generally their closest 3-6 friends - a quick text to the parents to make plans (and I confirm before I set the date that the bff of each kid can attend!). With 10-12 yr old boys it's generally Hey, it's DS's birthday - you all free for a movie or sleepover on Friday night? Great.

 

[roseaster]

This why it is so much easier and so much less drama with teens/tweens. The 13 and 11 year old want sleepovers (girls) and just invite their good friends verbally. I just need to know how many so I have the appropriate amount of refreshments on hand. The 15 and 17 year olds just want money "to hang out with friends."
Last year (17 year old twins, summer bday) we bought them and 2 friends tickets to Great Adventure (local Six Flags) and gave them spending money and put them on the bus there. (I know, un-Dis like) They had a great time, stayed open til close and then crashed here until 1 the next afternoon LOL.

My 10 year old. My only boy, likes to invite 3 friends to do something. Laser tag, go carts, Dave and Buster's.

I really am glad that we are able to avoid the whole elementary school party drama

 

[bethy]

This. It's possible the kids' parents have "shelved" the invitation until they have more information (work schedule, sports/activity schedules for other kids, etc). Then they forget about it.

This is true for us. I don't usually know what's going on with older kids' sports and other stuff till about a week beforehand. TBH, my DD5's schedule is somewhat lower on the family priority list. I work stuff for her in when I can, including bday parties for schoolmates we don't know well. One reason for this is that it's a big time commitment for me or my DH, too since one of us has to stay there at this age.

Next time, you might consider using evite. I've found the RSVP rate is better because it sends out reminders etc. I often miss hard copy things that are sent home with DD. Let's face it she's my third child and there is a 10 year age spread!

 

[bethy]

Having 5 kids, I've hosted and attended tons of kids parties. You really can't expect people to RSVP that far ahead of time. A child's birthday party, especially at that age, when a parent might stay, isn't up there on the priority list. Unless it's a good friend, I usually respond 5 or so days before the party. I've held bounce parties, bowling, swimming, skating, gymnastics, soccer, dance, movie, rock climbing, art... They always asked for the final count a few days before the party.

I send out invites 2 weeks before the party, set the RSVP date a few days before the party, and always include my email and cellphone for texting.

My experience, exactly (only with 3 kids, lol!)

 

[bsblady01]

Why not? This is how middle schoolers operate. Despite pleas for my girls at that age to plan things in advance, communicate better, etc, this was their social norm. Their social lives are just more spontaneous. They are starting to enjoy more independence, and they don't want to be burdened with calendars (sometimes this backfires, but then it's a good natural consequence) As long as parents are chaperoning if at someone's home, at it doesn't cause a huge inconvenience, I've got no problem when my DD is invited to a gathering last minute.

When my daughter was having a 13th birthday party, she was completely opposed to any kind of paper invitation. She insisted she would do them herself on Instagram, because everyone does that! I said OK, but asked that she ask parents RSVP me by text. Only because we were doing a sleep-over party at a hotel (very small number of kids!) It worked out fine, some RSVP right away, some in the middle, and some you had to follow up last minute with, which is typical. This year when she turned 14, she just wanted some money to go treat a friend out after school to fast food and manicures. All she wanted to do was ask a friend or 2 at school at the last minute, to avoid all the drama, and pressure of not leaving anyone out. So I gave her some money and let her be spontaneous.

When my kids were younger and get invites, I would always RSVP by the deadline, but usually not until right before the deadline, unless I knew the family well enough that we already talked regularly. Sometimes I was just plain lazy, and sometimes it was because life is crazy, and things can change, I didn't want to commit until the time got closer, especially if it was one of those very large "whole class" parties. I really did try to make it to as many as possible because you never know how many kids show up, and I never wanted to see a little kid's heart broken on his/her birthday.

my daughter is ten and in 5th grade which is middle school and it is already starting.

 

[scrapquitler]

I never RSVP until closer to the date of the event, and that usually means that I don't contact the host until a day or two before the RSVP deadline, particularly for my kids functions. I just never was able to tell more ahead of that how our schedule would be for the day of an event, especially when I had to consider younger siblings, my work schedule, the weather, etc.

 

[NotUrsula]

When ds16 turned 13, he invited 16 kids over. Two of them said they needed an invitation, so I went on the computer and made a flyer. Weird.

I've known people to insist on an official invitation when they have kids who have a habit of being a tad, um, disingenuous about their intended whereabouts.