Kid Birthday party RSVP question

[Magpie]

I always RSVP, I think it is rude not to. Sometimes a lot of work goes into planning parties and it takes 2 minutes to send a text or an email and say yes or no.

The other thing that irks me is parents that don't send out thank you cards after the party. I hardly ever get them any more. Maybe I'm just old fashioned but I always still send them after bday parties

I didn't know we were supposed to... I've never in my life sent a "thank you for inviting me to your birthday party" note! I thought bringing a gift was ample evidence of my appreciation.

I don't expect a thank you note from the birthday-person for my gift, either, which is good, because I don't think I've ever got one of those.

 

[msjprincess]

I didn't know we were supposed to... I've never in my life sent a "thank you for inviting me to your birthday party" note! I thought bringing a gift was ample evidence of my appreciation.

I don't expect a thank you note from the birthday-person for my gift, either, which is good, because I don't think I've ever got one of those.

I think she talking about the parents of the birthday child, not the guests.

 

[Magpie]

I think she talking about the parents of the birthday child, not the guests.

Oh, she's talking about having the parents write thank you notes for the gifts their child recieved, right? That makes sense.

I'm terrible with thank you notes. My mum is disappointed with me every Christmas. I can guarantee you I've never written one on behalf of my children. Fortunately, it doesn't seem like anyone else around here does, either, so it's all good.

 

[E&Cmom]

Thank you notes are not the norm around here except for weddings, shows and baby gifts.

 

[bcwife76]

I only had one class party for oldest-around kindergarten

After that we invited neighbor friends, their "best friends from school" and my friends with kids their age(in other words I KNEW their parents and could call to verify)

I find people ARE TERRIBLE about RSVP today

Ugh, I hear ya.

Our youngest is also in kindergarten and she had her first school-friend party this past November. At first we were going to invite her whole class but then we switched venues and it became too expensive so we just invited all the girls in her class plus 2 more friends that don't go to her school. 12 kids total. I received 6 rsvp's!!! I was so annoyed. Had to track down a couple more parents and then I just threw up my hands and thought 'forget it.' Grrrrr....so in the end there were 9 kids total (including our daughter) and the party was actually *just the right size*.

For me personally I always rsvp within a day or two of getting the invite.

 

[nugov2]

If it is for a kid we don't know/kid we don't see outside of school I wait until the rsvp day. My older kids have a lot going on so if the stars align and we have no game /practice that day I might want to skip a birthday party to have a family day. Sometimes with my older two practice can be changed last minute.

 

[bsblady01]

Parents just don't rsvp anymore. Winter birthday's are also hard to say yes to because of weather if you get a storm nobody will come . I would plan for no more then five kids to show up and then you will have people that do not rsvp and show up to the party.

 

[NotUrsula]

If you need an advance head-count, dig out your buzz book and re-do it as an e-vite; those are the only invitations that tend to get responded to these days, because they auto-nag them.

 

[brooke789]

Funny after reading this (and posting earlier) DD received a hard copy invite for a bday party next weekend (2/13) so about 9 days out. It had the Moms number on it so I just texted her immediately to let her know DD wasn't able to attend. Then tossed it in the trash since it wasn't a wait & see. (It's the day before our younger sons bday and that weekend is full of his festivities).

 

[The Mystery Machine]

So this is the first year we are doing a friend birthday party for DD. She is in Kindergarten and has 15 kids in her class. I found an awesome deal at a bounce house so we thought it would be fun to invite everyone in her class. DD took the invitations to school last Thursday and with the help of her teacher, put them in the kid's mailboxes. Every Friday the kids bring home folders with all the things that have been put in their mailboxes during the week. On the invitations I put to please RSVP by February 12th as her party is the 21st and I need to let them know a final count. I have heard from 2 parents saying their child will attend. Now I'm nervous that no one else is going to RSVP. When you receive an invitation, do you respond right away or do you wait til closer to the RSVP by date? And do you RSVP with no or only with a yes? Just curious! Thanks!

Oh brother, the dreaded kid party rsvp dilemma. Can I say how much I hated it?

For me, I did not do a class invite because that would not have worked. Parents traveled in 'circles' and if they did not know you at that age, they did not come.

I RSVPed right away but that is how I roll.

Good Luck with the party & happy b-day to your dd.

 

[bsblady01]

The one I hate now is the middle school day before invite to a party. I will not let my daughter go to a party if the invite is not done by parents and that is done the day before the event.

 

[Skippy918]

This is one of my pet peeves. I do know that evites work better than paper invites. I invited dd's whole daycare class last year via paper invite and I think only a quarter showed up. Most did not RSVP. It was frustrating.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

The one I hate now is the middle school day before invite to a party. I will not let my daughter go to a party if the invite is not done by parents and that is done the day before the event.

I gave up, lol.

By that age it was sleepovers and going dutch anyway. Parents seemed to fade somewhere along the way.

 

[mjkacmom]

The one I hate now is the middle school day before invite to a party. I will not let my daughter go to a party if the invite is not done by parents and that is done the day before the event.

What? Starting in 6th grade, parents don't do the inviting, the kids do. Sometimes I don't hear about the party until the day of, and hope I have a $20. #4 and #5 just hit 7th grade, so I've been used to this for years. I love it! If we are hosting a party, I just ask my kids to let me know how many are coming. So much easier for me.

 

[shoney]

What? St
arting in 6th grade, parents don't do the inviting, the kids do. Sometimes I don't hear about the party until the day of, and hope I have a $20. #4 and #5 just hit 7th grade, so I've been used to this for years. I love it! If we are hosting a party, I just ask my kids to let me know how many are coming. So much easier for me.

When ds16 turned 13, he invited 16 kids over. Two of them said they needed an invitation, so I went on the computer and made a flyer. Weird.
Now that both are teens, they tell me the day of sometimes. $20 or $25 in a card and out the door they go.

 

[msjprincess]

Yep, once they're out of elementary school the parents stay out of it and most invitations are just verbal. Sometimes far in advance sometimes that day or the day before.

 

[KateP85]

We just had DS's 3rd birthday party back in December, and the RSVP thing was truly painful. It was the first time we'd thrown a party and we had to invite every kid in his preschool class, all 20 of them. We sent the invitations 2 weeks before the party, and had one RSVP yes that night. Then about six more people RSVP'd yes the day before the deadline, and about another five a few days after the deadline. Then two kids who didn't RSVP at all showed up at the party, both with siblings in tow. None of the other parents RSVP'd at all. I was SO stressed trying to figure out how many kids were coming, ordering food, party favors, etc. I don't know how to do it differently other than putting the RSVP part in giant bolded letters at the bottom of the invitation!

All of the parties DS has been invited to, I've replied either right away (if we knew our plans for that day) or a few days before the deadline (if we were unsure of plans.)

 

[roseaster]

What? Starting in 6th grade, parents don't do the inviting, the kids do. Sometimes I don't hear about the party until the day of, and hope I have a $20. #4 and #5 just hit 7th grade, so I've been used to this for years. I love it! If we are hosting a party, I just ask my kids to let me know how many are coming. So much easier for me.

When ds16 turned 13, he invited 16 kids over. Two of them said they needed an invitation, so I went on the computer and made a flyer. Weird.
Now that both are teens, they tell me the day of sometimes. $20 or $25 in a card and out the door they go.

It's the same with my kids. If it's a kid whose family I don't really know I will call the parents to confirm, and I have had parents call to confirm with me.

I've also encountered the "Need a paper invite" thing. Parents do this, mostly, I think to confirm that it is a parent sanctioned gathering and not a teen free for all. I guess they don't realize that kids can just print that up, faster than me, on the computer. I usually just tell them to call me and then, if it is a parent I don't know, I make sure we touch base in person on the night of the party.

It is truly why tween parties are so much easier. Pizza, cake, chips and movies and they were good to go.

I have one boy, and they will play video games for hours. With my girls I buy a bunch of cheap make up and make up remover wipes and they will do make overs for hours.

My one daughters' friend had a big yard with a pool and a summer birthday. They would set a family sized tent up in the yard (they were campers) and the girls would have a "camp out" sleep over.

 

[Nettester]

The one I hate now is the middle school day before invite to a party. I will not let my daughter go to a party if the invite is not done by parents and that is done the day before the event.

Why not? This is how middle schoolers operate. Despite pleas for my girls at that age to plan things in advance, communicate better, etc, this was their social norm. Their social lives are just more spontaneous. They are starting to enjoy more independence, and they don't want to be burdened with calendars (sometimes this backfires, but then it's a good natural consequence) As long as parents are chaperoning if at someone's home, at it doesn't cause a huge inconvenience, I've got no problem when my DD is invited to a gathering last minute.

When my daughter was having a 13th birthday party, she was completely opposed to any kind of paper invitation. She insisted she would do them herself on Instagram, because everyone does that! I said OK, but asked that she ask parents RSVP me by text. Only because we were doing a sleep-over party at a hotel (very small number of kids!) It worked out fine, some RSVP right away, some in the middle, and some you had to follow up last minute with, which is typical. This year when she turned 14, she just wanted some money to go treat a friend out after school to fast food and manicures. All she wanted to do was ask a friend or 2 at school at the last minute, to avoid all the drama, and pressure of not leaving anyone out. So I gave her some money and let her be spontaneous.

When my kids were younger and get invites, I would always RSVP by the deadline, but usually not until right before the deadline, unless I knew the family well enough that we already talked regularly. Sometimes I was just plain lazy, and sometimes it was because life is crazy, and things can change, I didn't want to commit until the time got closer, especially if it was one of those very large "whole class" parties. I really did try to make it to as many as possible because you never know how many kids show up, and I never wanted to see a little kid's heart broken on his/her birthday.

 

[hulagirl87]

Update! We have had 2 more RSVP's, both by text. We are up to 4 now, out of the 15 we invited gives me some hope!

Thank you all for your input, suggestions, and experience with this!