Kid Birthday party RSVP question

[hulagirl87]

So this is the first year we are doing a friend birthday party for DD. She is in Kindergarten and has 15 kids in her class. I found an awesome deal at a bounce house so we thought it would be fun to invite everyone in her class. DD took the invitations to school last Thursday and with the help of her teacher, put them in the kid's mailboxes. Every Friday the kids bring home folders with all the things that have been put in their mailboxes during the week. On the invitations I put to please RSVP by February 12th as her party is the 21st and I need to let them know a final count. I have heard from 2 parents saying their child will attend. Now I'm nervous that no one else is going to RSVP. When you receive an invitation, do you respond right away or do you wait til closer to the RSVP by date? And do you RSVP with no or only with a yes? Just curious! Thanks!

 

[JaxDad]

So this is the first year we are doing a friend birthday party for DD. She is in Kindergarten and has 15 kids in her class. I found an awesome deal at a bounce house so we thought it would be fun to invite everyone in her class. DD took the invitations to school last Thursday and with the help of her teacher, put them in the kid's mailboxes. Every Friday the kids bring home folders with all the things that have been put in their mailboxes during the week. On the invitations I put to please RSVP by February 12th as her party is the 21st and I need to let them know a final count. I have heard from 2 parents saying their child will attend. Now I'm nervous that no one else is going to RSVP. When you receive an invitation, do you respond right away or do you wait til closer to the RSVP by date? And do you RSVP with no or only with a yes? Just curious! Thanks!

I RSVP yes or no as soon as I can and no later than the date requested. In my opinion, it is rude not to do so.

 

[Gracie09]

It depends. Sometimes I am waiting to see if there is a family thing the same day. Sometimes I just don't get to go through all the crap they bring home. Sometimes I have to work out with my husband who is doing what.

 

[shoney]

I always respond "yes or no" unless the invite states "regrets only". When my kids were little, I would respond as soon as I got the invite otherwise I may forget.
In my experience, many do wait until the last possible moment, though. Then ofcourse there are one or 2 that don't respond at all. I always took them for a no.

 

[cnavarrete]

I usually wait until the last minute because I am lazy. Just being honest. :/

 

[sam_gordon]

It depends. Sometimes I am waiting to see if there is a family thing the same day. Sometimes I just don't get to go through all the crap they bring home. Sometimes I have to work out with my husband who is doing what.

This. It's possible the kids' parents have "shelved" the invitation until they have more information (work schedule, sports/activity schedules for other kids, etc). Then they forget about it.

 

[puffkin]

In my experience, RSVP's for kids birthday parties are super frustrating. I typically don't send invites out more than 2 weeks in advance. People tend to forget about them then. Most people don't RSVP, of those usually a couple will end up showing up anyway. Most that do RSVP usually do so a day or two before the party. I always put text or call because many people won't rsvp with a call but will with a text. But in general people just don't RSVP and don't care.

 

[msjprincess]

I reply either way. But I often don't reply until right before the RSVP date because I'm not sure. I wouldn't get nervous until the 11th. What day do you need the actual final count?

 

[NewRVLady]

I only had one class party for oldest-around kindergarten

After that we invited neighbor friends, their "best friends from school" and my friends with kids their age(in other words I KNEW their parents and could call to verify)

I find people ARE TERRIBLE about RSVP today

 

[AlohaNow]

Generally speaking, no one RSVP’s anymore. Ugh. Do not get me started….

 

[sk!mom]

I RSVP immediately if I know for sure that I will or won't attend.

For a classmate's birthday, I think that you probably sent the invitations way too early as it wouldn't be what most would deem a priority event. I normally sent kid invites a week in advance. I also found that most people do not RSVP at all. With DD19, I usually would plan on about 3/4 attending. I did at times have to pay for no shows or have extra party favors.

 

[shoney]

I RSVP immediately if I know for sure that I will or won't attend.

For a classmate's birthday, I think that you probably sent the invitations way too early as it wouldn't be what most would deem a priority event. I normally sent kid invites a week in advance. I also found that most people do not RSVP at all. With DD19, I usually would plan on about 3/4 attending. I did at times have to pay for no shows or have extra party favors.

A week before? That is really late to me. I would think we were on the "b" list...
I would say 3 to 4 weeks before was standard around here.

 

[tzolkin]

I RSVP yes or no as soon as I can and no later than the date requested. In my opinion, it is rude not to do so.

You are correct, but it is certainly not the norm.

DH jokes that he's turning into an old man with some of his "young people these days" annoyances. (We're only 34) We have found that people just don't respond much anymore. It doesn't matter whether it's a party, church event, business-related meeting. If we're hosting something, all the "old people" will respond immediately. Most younger people seem like they don't want to make the commitment too early in case something better comes along. People are also way more likely to cancel at the last minute, because they can just text.

As for the birthday party-- I wouldn't expect many people to respond before the RSVP date. I would only expect maybe one "regrets" RSVP. (Most people just assume if they don't call then it's a "no") I also think you may have sent the invitations out early. It may be a regional thing, but I haven't received many invitations more than a week in advance.

 

[puffkin]

A week before? That is really late to me. I would think we were on the "b" list...
I would say 3 to 4 weeks before was standard around here.

It may be a regional thing...but I just booked my son's party at a laser tag place yesterday for his birthday in Mid March. I wanted to make sure we got the date/time we wanted for the party. I don't plan on sending invitations out though until March 1st. When I booked it, the guy was shocked I was booking so early. He said the majority of people call trying to book parties for the upcoming weekend or next weekend and then yell at him when things aren't available. He said it is the norm, not the exception and he commended me for booking early.

 

[JustCallMeMommy]

Speaking as a mom of a 13 year old - parents don't RSVP. They just don't. After my first attempt, I started asking for "Regrets" and just planned like everyone was going to be there. I stayed away from venues that charged by the head, and I even told parents to bring siblings. It was so much easier.

The one thing I did always made sure to do was to check with the parents of DD's very best friend. She and her bestie were always so close that I knew that as long as that child was there, DD probably wouldn't even notice if no one else showed up.

I found that the sweet spot for invites was two Fridays before the party. Basically 8-9 days. Any earlier and it was forgotten about and any later and other plans have been made. Plans made sooner than that are usually set in stone and can't be moved anyway (ball games, trips, etc.).

 

[hulagirl87]

In my experience, RSVP's for kids birthday parties are super frustrating. I typically don't send invites out more than 2 weeks in advance. People tend to forget about them then. Most people don't RSVP, of those usually a couple will end up showing up anyway. Most that do RSVP usually do so a day or two before the party. I always put text or call because many people won't rsvp with a call but will with a text. But in general people just don't RSVP and don't care.

I put call or text since I know most people are more comfortable with texting. Both RSVP's so far have been by text.

I reply either way. But I often don't reply until right before the RSVP date because I'm not sure. I wouldn't get nervous until the 11th. What day do you need the actual final count?

They need a final quote on the 18th or 19th

I RSVP immediately if I know for sure that I will or won't attend.

For a classmate's birthday, I think that you probably sent the invitations way too early as it wouldn't be what most would deem a priority event. I normally sent kid invites a week in advance. I also found that most people do not RSVP at all. With DD19, I usually would plan on about 3/4 attending. I did at times have to pay for no shows or have extra party favors.

Since their folders only go home on Fridays, I didn't want to wait to send home the invitations. Also I figured, the farther they knew in advance, the more likely they would be to attend and might not have other obligations. The last birthday invitation we got was for 3 weeks prior so I kind of followed that as a guideline


One of my friends said that when her kids were little, if she didn't hear an RSVP, she would call them to see if they were coming. I guess I will wait and see closer to the RSVP date. Just thought I would ask others experience with this!

 

[mjkacmom]

Having 5 kids, I've hosted and attended tons of kids parties. You really can't expect people to RSVP that far ahead of time. A child's birthday party, especially at that age, when a parent might stay, isn't up there on the priority list. Unless it's a good friend, I usually respond 5 or so days before the party. I've held bounce parties, bowling, swimming, skating, gymnastics, soccer, dance, movie, rock climbing, art... They always asked for the final count a few days before the party.

I send out invites 2 weeks before the party, set the RSVP date a few days before the party, and always include my email and cellphone for texting.

 

[leebee]

I have a friend who planned a birthday party (swim party, IIRC), sent invitations with an RSVP-by date, and then had to cancel. Of course a bunch of folks hadn't RSVP'd, but she called everyone who had said "yes" to tell them the party was canceled, as well as those who said "yes" after the RSVP date. Apparently about a dozen people showed up for the party anyhow; they hadn't bothered to RSVP, so my friend didn't bother to contact them about the party being canceled. Of course they were all angry with her, but her attitude was, "You didn't tell me you'd be there, so I wasn't planning on you being there, so why should I call and tell you not to come?" A tad passive-aggressive, perhaps, but kind-of funny in its own way!

 

[pxidst119]

I like to use invitation websites to send and receive invitations. I have gotten quick responses when I use them. They get the email, check yes or no and they're done. They don't even have to enter my email or phone number. It automatically sends a few reminders out to people so I don't have to chase them down. I like that it sends me reminders if I haven't responded to an event. You can also see if the guest has even viewed the invite.

 

[dotfurio]

I RSVP when we get invited, but in my experience with my own kids parties most people don't. IDK about your venue, but so far the different ones I've been to that charge per kid will adjust the price up or down based on how many actually show. For food and favors I just make sure I have enough to cover everyone.