This may be long so I apologize up front. I also wanted to put the caveat out there that I'm not trying to change opinions as I think a majority of us already have our views about this entire situation. With that being said.....
It was extremely hard for me to watch Monday's episode near the end. I truly felt a sense of sadness. My DH also watched it as he has caught some of the episodes through the year.
We both have always thought it was amusing to watch the two interact with each other especially in earlier episodes. While Kate was more upfront about her bickering/bossiness - don't be fooled into thinking Jon was just a victim - Jon got quite a few sly ones in himself. I think this bantering with each other was nothing more than normal husband/wife venting/bickering.
I truly believe in the early days - even up until the last year or so - they really did love each other. You can see the genuine smiles as they interacted with the kids AND each other.
I'm not quite sure where they got off track. Both are most certainly to blame for things through the years BUT in regards to the most recent issues of the last 6-7 months it seems that Jon checked out awhile ago. It seemed even more obvious as he was giving his interview this past Monday. I asked my DH what he thought about the episode and he blatantly said "Jon needs to grow up". "I'm only 32 years old" and "Excited" in addition with the newly pierced ears really threw me for a loop. He apparently feels robbed of his youth and now is having a mid-life crisis (kind of early in my opinion).
I found it "pathetic" to say he is now standing up on his own two feet and basically isn't going to take it anymore (Think KISS "We're not going to take it"). I'd bet the farm that Kate was bossy/control freak when they first dated/got married and most likely got exaggerated as the show/years progressed. That's her problem to work on and should have been addressed fairly soon as it got "to much" for Jon so as to nip it in the butt. However, I don't think the behavior Jon is exhibiting these past months is something that was present when they first dated/got married. You can't be one way in a relationship for 9 or so years and then suddenly do a 180 and expect it to be ok.
In my opinion Jon did not handle the last several months very well. I think he made a decision awhile ago about getting out. In his mind, it wasn't worth the effort to do counseling or salvage what they had left. Since his "love" was gone for Kate he started to act more like a non-married person.
Flame time...
I believe someone said they understood why Mady is the way she is - there is nothing wrong with Mady. I think she is a completely well balanced child who likes to pout when she doesn't get her way - which I have rarely seen Jon or Kate give in to her way when acts that way. If the response she gave was correct after being told that her parents were divorcing she is a pretty well adjusted child. Cara on the other hand is going to have alot of issues with this - she's somewhat a daddy's girl as they had more in common (sports, skiing, etc.). This is going to be a very tough road for her.
While the older girls will have memories of a closer family at one point in their lives the younger ones will probably have less of those memories/images. When you grow up with your parents always apart, or at least during the years you can remember, then its not a huge adjustment as you get older. I think the younger ones will also be fine.
I think some people are being a bit hard on Kate for going to the press or speaking out. I'm sure she feels very scorned by Jon and I think she would rather have at least tried to go to counseling or work on it rather then him changing into a new person and shutting down. It's human nature that when you feel attacked or wronged to defend yourself and I think that is what she is doing. She's hurt because she hadn't already made up her mind to get out, at least yet. I'm not saying its right by any means but I can completely understand where she is coming from.
Where I am coming from....
I'm from a "broken" home. But I remember the pre-divorce era and the post-divorce era. My parents were married for 17 years and got divorced when I was 14, my sister 13 and my brother 6. I saw my mother check out of the marriage long before my father even knew. By the time she told him, it was to late and she was "excited" about her new life. Don't get me wrong - they were both at fault for the problems in their marriage and neither are blameless.
Let's pray this does not turn into an ugly battle. Luckily Mady and Cara are to young to be pulled into court, or at least any reasonable Judge won't want to pull them into court for any questioning, etc.
Now that I have written my book...
Hope that all makes some sense.
Couldn't agree more.
