Jill Duggar's wedding

[Southernmiss]

I'm not sure I completely understand what you're saying here. Because they don't attend the church, they aren't allowed to rent it? Certainly they paid for electricity, cleaning, etc. That's what the rental fee is for. If a church didn't want to be "used" that way, they would restrict marriages to members only. As some do.

My church doesn't have its own building (neither does theirs). So, because my church is small (and so is theirs), I can't have a church wedding (and neither can they)? My beliefs didn't align much with the church I rented for my wedding--it was Anglican--but it's still a church and I'm a Christian. So, was I using the church, even though I don't agree doctrinally with them? If I had become a member just to have access to the facility--and yes, it happens at some high-demand churches--THEN I would have been "using" the church for my own selfish desires. I guess I'm just not understanding your point, unless what you're really implying is that you don't like home churches.

This is helpful. I really don't know anything about home churches and am trying to understand. Hence, my questions and continued discussion. Don't mean to offend, just don't understand. I guess all churches do get started somewhere in homes, storefronts now, etc. I just don't personally know anyone attending a home church. It's not that i don't like them, I am seeking to understand.

The Duggars happen to be very public about their lives and putting themselves out there. The publicity is going to invoke questions.

 

[jahber]

This is helpful. I really don't know anything about home churches and am trying to understand. Hence, my questions and continued discussion. Don't mean to offend, just don't understand. I guess all churches do get started somewhere in homes, storefronts now, etc. I just don't personally know anyone attending a home church. It's not that i don't like them, I am seeking to understand. The Duggars happen to be very public about their lives and putting yourselves out there. The publicity is going to invoke questions.

Absolutely, it does. It's part of being famous for a living, so to speak I think their conservative views can be construed as insular and judgmental because their lifestyle is just SO different from most people's. Including mine!

But I've been a part of a small-ish church (about 250 people) for 14 years now (since its founding), and while we want to grow because that's how you know your church is reaching others, we also don't want to grow just to be big and have a building. Know what I mean? People think I'm weird because my church doesn't have a building (and in this case I'm not referring to you--I mean people I know in real life ). I think it's weird to attend a church just because it's in your neighborhood and you like the way it looks. I also think it's weird not to kiss before marriage and I imagine many people think I was weird for not having sex with my husband before marriage.

I guess my point is, we are all weird to someone. It's good to try to understand. I can try, but I'll never understand 19 kids, though. Homeschooling 2 plus a new baby is kicking my rear!

 

[Southernmiss]

Absolutely, it does. It's part of being famous for a living, so to speak I think their conservative views can be construed as insular and judgmental because their lifestyle is just SO different from most people's. Including mine!

But I've been a part of a small-ish church (about 250 people) for 14 years now (since its founding), and while we want to grow because that's how you know your church is reaching others, we also don't want to grow just to be big and have a building. Know what I mean? People think I'm weird because my church doesn't have a building (and in this case I'm not referring to you--I mean people I know in real life ). I think it's weird to attend a church just because it's in your neighborhood and you like the way it looks. I also think it's weird not to kiss before marriage and I imagine many people think I was weird for not having sex with my husband before marriage.

I guess my point is, we are all weird to someone. It's good to try to understand. I can try, but I'll never understand 19 kids, though. Homeschooling 2 plus a new baby is kicking my rear!

See, we can discuss and be nice on this board! I believe all people have to find what works for them in this life as life has it's own challenges we don't need to add to anyone else's burden.

I've always attended established churches with rules that you needed to belong to the faith to be married in that particular church. So that's why I needed to understand other's views.

I really do have mostly conservative leanings and views on life. And I guess folks even more conservative than I am (like the Duggars) challenge me to learn more.

Thanks for the friendly discussion jahber. I'm going to back out now as I don't want to cross any more religion lines! Good luck with your little family. I was once a mom of 4 age 7 and under--they grow fast and that time is a blur now! Youngest is 12 and oldest is now 20.

 

[Arkansan]

Keep in mind, the Duggars receive tax breaks for having their home declared to be a church. There are many financial incentives offered to churches.

 

[jahber]

See, we can discuss and be nice on this board! I believe all people have to find what works for them in this life as life has it's own challenges we don't need to add to anyone else's burden. I've always attended established churches with rules that you needed to belong to the faith to be married in that particular church. So that's why I needed to understand other's views. I really do have mostly conservative leanings and views on life. And I guess folks even more conservative than I am (like the Duggars) challenge me to learn more. Thanks for the friendly discussion jahber. I'm going to back out now as I don't want to cross any more religion lines! Good luck with your little family. I was once a mom of 4 age 7 and under--they grow fast and that time is a blur now! Youngest is 12 and oldest is now 20.

We CAN all get along!
And you're right about it being a blur right now. One day I'll look back and miss it (maybe!). I'm just glad I don't have a tv crew in my house. I don't think this is the kind of "reality" people want to see!

 

[madge]

I suppose you're right. But the Duggars venue wasn't the typical older, historic church. It was a modern, remodeled space whose mentioned history was that it was where Jim Bob and Michelle had married 30 years ago. I guess that was part of the appeal for Jill. But for some reason the Duggars had not recently raised their children in that church. So the Duggars don't need the people there until there's a wedding. That's what was uncomfortable to me.

here is an account by someone who (allegedly) attends church with the Duggar family: http://www.crossmap.com/blogs/19-ki...e-scenes-what-is-the-duggars-church-like-4239

 

[havaneselover]

here is an account by someone who (allegedly) attends church with the Duggar family: http://www.crossmap.com/blogs/19-kids-and-counting-life-behind-the-scenes-what-is-the-duggars-church-like-4239

Got to love the endorsement of blanket training.

 

[kidshop]

Got to love the endorsement of blanket training.

Who knew blanket training could extend all the way into the late teens and 20's?

They must be very proud to have so much control over adults! What will they do with a houseful of unemployed, uneducated, unmarried (if they can't find enough suitable spouses for them) adults!?


This is where the lifestyle gets interesting. Some of the 'kids' are aging fast!

 

[Sgt Mickey]

I thought it was very sweet. They seem very happily in love. I agree with some things seem a little creepy over the top. BUT I just didn't grow up the same way.
The older girls seem happy with their lives I don't know why it is such a big deal for people to want them to rebel. Although I think by the time they get to the little kids being older Jim Bob and Michelle may be a bit older and may not be able to control as much I always picture Josie as the rebel.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

Yes, it does apply to anyone.

I was simply discussing a topic of the Duggar wedding that i hadn't seen discussed yet.

I've followed the Duggars for years--younger kids are really cute, how large families operate facinates me (have 4 kids of my own, which in many places is a lot of kids today) admire the Duggars for working hard and being debt free. But am truly puzzled, by some of their very conservative ways and then how they are very religious yet not belonging to a big church they seemed to realize they needed a church, as i would be for anyone.

That's fair.

I think jahber explained it well.

For us, we married in a church we did not attend. Usually this can be a challenge. But all summer weddings at our regular church were cancelled due to unexpected construction delays on a remodel. It was actually a demolition of all but the back wall, roof, and any additional necessary structural elements--basically the church suddenly became a gazebo and then they rebuilt the newly designed church.

So it wasn't finished and our pastor gave us free rein of venue (within constraints of the faith). So I be venue we used was not a place we would ever attend. It just happened to be much closed to the reception, so it worked out for us. It was a base chapel and since we weren't military, we wouldn't be attending it. As our reception was at the Officer's club (we had my future FIL as the sponsor as he was retired), the venue could the be considered.

Obviously not the same as what you are talking about--but an interesting similarity to the topic at hand.

 

[wilkeliza]

Got to love the endorsement of blanket training.

I didn't realize blanket training was so controversial! My family isn't conservative in any nature and my grandma totally blanket trained us (up kept by mom at home of course but gma was our babysitter) and she ways trust us to be able to play on our own on a blanket with out wandering while she started lunch or went to answer a phone call.

 

[lizzi6692]

I didn't realize blanket training was so controversial! My family isn't conservative in any nature and my grandma totally blanket trained us (up kept by mom at home of course but gma was our babysitter) and she ways trust us to be able to play on our own on a blanket with out wandering while she started lunch or went to answer a phone call.

You didn't realize that what amounts to hitting a child for being curious would be controversial?

 

[wilkeliza]

You didn't realize that what amounts to hitting a child for being curious would be controversial?

I didn't read that the child was struck. We never were hit just put back on the blanket. We quickly learned it wasn't worth it because we would be back on the blanket anyways.

 

[havaneselover]

I didn't read that the child was struck. We never were hit just put back on the blanket. We quickly learned it wasn't worth it because we would be back on the blanket anyways.

Yeah, apparently there was a flexible ruler involved. They follow Michael Pearl's To Train up a Child. My former church used something similar--Growing Kids God's Way (Gary Ezzo). If you didn't buy into it (which I didn't) you were "unteachable".

 

[BellePrincessBelle]

Keep in mind, the Duggars receive tax breaks for having their home declared to be a church. There are many financial incentives offered to churches.

That myth has been debunked so many times! They pay full taxes, their home is NOT declared a church.

 

[jahber]

That myth has been debunked so many times! They pay full taxes, their home is NOT declared a church.

Yeah, people just really don't understand what a home church is. It's not a house that is a church. It's church taking place at a house. Good grief, people will say anything to make people they don't agree with look bad, won't they?

 

[madge]

evidently, the no kissing at the wedding was a little bit of a surprise ...

http://zedicy542.blogspot.com/2014/11/weddings-and-such.html

 

[wilkeliza]

evidently, the no kissing at the wedding was a little bit of a surprise ... http://zedicy542.blogspot.com/2014/11/weddings-and-such.html

Interesting and I commend them for wanting this private moment. Too bad he doesn't have a job outside the Duggars or I imagine they also would choose not to be on air so much.

I'm not against the family and how they raise the kids per se but I do think now that they are adults they should get to control how much of their life is on screen.

 

[TuneTownMagic]

I really liked Jessa's dress and enjoyed the whole look of the couple! The Blush color is so pretty. Though, I do think she could have elevated the look with a fancier updo for her hair. For some reason, I thought I remember reading or hearing that the girls in their family or community are not encouraged to wear their hair up....I might be wrong.

 

[gvillemama]

Had some free time so I read this blog (not this particular post, but all of them)...I had the hardest time deciding if it was serious or satire. Wow!

evidently, the no kissing at the wedding was a little bit of a surprise ...

http://zedicy542.blogspot.com/2014/11/weddings-and-such.html