It's Father's Day and I am TRULY BLESSED!

[TCPluto]

Am I the only one that finds this post in poor taste? Gosh, what if his kids ever found this later on? C'mon sharing your private thougts with thousands of people, hmm makes me wonder

I guess someone had to say it, might as well be you, right???


I understood his sentiment up until he said it took him three years to warm up to his own kids.

 

[cardaway]

I couldn't believe what I was reading. His poor wife

OP is a terribly selfish person, everything is about him and his life/wants/needs

Now that he is getting something out of the kids - he's happy - coz it's all about him again. Center of attention.

Cheers for Cass.

And the part about the miscarriage ranks up there witht he most disgusting things ever posted on this site.

 

[SillyMe]

You know, this is really sad and I feel bad on all accounts. I think this thread should just be deleted.

 

[Mom2Angels]

I don't see where he said he didn't love his children as some have posted, he never said that, just because he wasn't ready for them didn't mean he didn't love them. Because he was relieved when his wife miscarried, didn't mean he wasn't there for her. The poster who said her husband was only "19" when you had your child and he accepted her, what does age have to do with it? Everyone is ready for different things at different times in their lives.

And what about the rest of the fathers here who are condeminng PD what are you doing spending Fathers Day on the Dis?? Okay for you but not him?

I've only had one child at a time and I know how tiring spending time in the pool and sun can be, can't imagine doing it with two five years old for more then an hour or two.

Papa Deuce - you have a wonderful day with your family today - Happy Fathers Day!

Debbie

 

[TheBellhop]

Wow...I guess that's the only thing I could say to the OP without getting banned.

 

[poohandwendy]

. The poster who said her husband was only "19" when you had your child and he accepted her, what does age have to do with it? Everyone is ready for different things at different times in their lives.

That would be me and I didn't say he 'accepted' her, I said that he immediately loved her unconditionally...no amount of diapers, crying and interference in his life made any difference in his feelings. My point was that the OP was the one stressing that this was 6 years ago as if his age had something to do with it.

Sorry, but 6 years ago, he was an adult married man....I cannot imagine feeling that time excuses indifference towards your children. And btw, if he started noticing that he really loved them at 3, that was only 2 years ago.

 

[Lisa F]

So let me get this straight. You didn't love your kids until they became interesting and interactive and worshiped you, yet you write this piece of trash here and act surprised when everyone doesn't kiss your butt and tell you what a great guy you are? I don't think it's so much of a matter that you had a wonderful transformation... your daughters did. I don't think you deserve all that much credit for seeing the light. They became more engaging and you became interested. That's a very shallow kind of love and I hope that your daughters never learn how shallow it is.

 

[Papa Deuce]

Sorry, but I had to come back for one last post just to set the record staright...
NOT ONCE did I say I didn't love my kids. Not once. What I said was that I wasn't happy. There is a HUGE difference.

I have always loved my kids, and I love them more and more each and every day.

 

[poohandwendy]

Sorry, but I had to come back for one last post just to set the record staright...
NOT ONCE did I say I didn't love my kids. Not once. What I said was that I wasn't happy. There is a HUGE difference.

I have always loved my kids, and I love them more and more each and every day.

You know, it's telling that in your original post you never mentioned loving them until you were talking about them at the age of 3-4. When they started showing love for you.

So you are right...you didn't come out and say that you didn't love them. You also didn't say that you did love then them, until now.

 

[TCPluto]

Then she had a miscarriage, and I was incredibly relieved.

Then the babies were born, and still, I wasn't all that happy. There was a small part of me that was, but overall.... NOPE, not happy.

Years 1 and 2 went by, and I still wasn't all that excited. Sleepless nights, loss of free time, constant crying and minor illnesses in my children, and it wasn't getting any better for me.

Then came year 3. Slowly but surely I was getting a little bit happier. I was getting "some" sleep. My kids were able to verbalize things instead of just crying all the time. And, I started to enjoy them.

And then came year 4. It was in this year that my love for my kids really grew by leaps and bounds.

I was bonding with them now! And I could "feel" their love for me!

Someone else said it, and they were right. After rereading the OP, it does sound much worse.

No love or bonding for the first four years?

I think the entire original entire post is incredibly sad...

 

[TCPluto]

NOT ONCE did I say I didn't love my kids. Not once. What I said was that I wasn't happy. There is a HUGE difference.

I have always loved my kids, and I love them more and more each and every day.

Instead of quitting while your ahead (not really possible at this point), why don't you just quit?

I think you were trying to pay your children a huge compliment in the OP, but it revealed much about what people think you are as well, which it turns out is none to flattering...

 

[monkeyboy]

Monkeyboy is speechless for the 1st time

 

[L107ANGEL]

Sorry, but I had to come back for one last post just to set the record staright...
NOT ONCE did I say I didn't love my kids. Not once. What I said was that I wasn't happy. There is a HUGE difference.

I have always loved my kids, and I love them more and more each and every day.

We get that.

 

[va32h]

Imagine your spouse coming to you on your anniversary and saying:

"You know, I never wanted to get married, and I sort of hoped you would never ask me. But you did, and since you really wanted to, I went along with it.

Before we got married, when you got sick and almost died, I actually thought it would be kind of a relief if you did.

On our wedding day, a small part of me was happy, but overall, not really.

Years 1 and 2 went by, and I still wasn't all that excited. Sleepless nights, loss of free time, constant crying and minor illnesses, and it wasn't getting any better for me.

Then came year 3. Slowly but surely I was getting a little bit happier. You were more interesting, and I started to enjoy your company.

And by year 4, I really loved you!"

Is there any spouse who would be happy to hear that?

 

[L107ANGEL]

Imagine your spouse coming to you on your anniversary and saying:

"You know, I never wanted to get married, and I sort of hoped you would never ask me. But you did, and since you really wanted to, I went along with it.

Before we got married, when you got sick and almost died, I actually thought it would be kind of a relief if you did.

On our wedding day, a small part of me was happy, but overall, not really.

Years 1 and 2 went by, and I still wasn't all that excited. Sleepless nights, loss of free time, constant crying and minor illnesses, and it wasn't getting any better for me.

Then came year 3. Slowly but surely I was getting a little bit happier. You were more interesting, and I started to enjoy your company.

And by year 4, I really loved you!"

Is there any spouse who would be happy to hear that?

Excellent post!

 

[T16GEM]

Very sad.

I get the feeling that you only wanted to give love to receive love, now that they can recipricate you feel ready for them.

Thats a shame, I truly hope that your kids never see that post.

 

[Towncrier]

Thats for that witness to fatherhood. This Father's Day is bittersweet for me. We just got home from dropping our oldest off at college. And it seems like only yesterday that he was a precious 5 year old, much like how you describe your twins. And now my son if off to start life on his own.

Papa Deuce - If I have one piece of advice for you it is to cherish each day you have with your kids because they will be grown and gone in the blink of an eye.

Happy Father's Day to you and to all the DIS dads.

UPDATE: It wasn't until after I posted this that I went back and saw all the posts that were critical of the original. I think that I know exactly what the original poster meant with his words. His honesty is refreshing. Sometimes it takes the love of a child to turn a man into a daddy.

 

[Buckalew11]

Sometimes it takes the love of a child to turn a man into a daddy.

Great post, TC!

I think these posts are very critical of PD's honesty. Not everyone is the nuturing type who just adores kids. I think it is wonderful that you came around and adore your children so much, PD. I remember when my nieces and nephews were babies and "no fun" until they were 2 and 3. I called them "blobs" because as babies they just lay there and don't interact with you. I don't love holding/rocking babies like some people do; I like playing with them and all that. Sure, I enjoyed mine as a baby but that is about it and I didn't want any more.

I'm sure you are a wonderful dad and not the only man to ever feel the need to come around to the thought of having children. As far as the miscarriage thought-- yeah, it sounds harsh but at the same time I can understand why you had those feelings at that time. However, God blessed you doubly now, didn't He? What a sense of humor!!

Happy Father's day to all!

 

[MOMTOMOOTOO]

Am I the only one that finds this post in poor taste? Gosh, what if his kids ever found this later on? C'mon sharing your private thougts with thousands of people, hmm makes me wonder

You are not alone.

 

[bekkiz]

I think many dads out there have similar feelings, but they don't necessarily want to admit it to themselves (or obviously to their wives.)

My few male friends, who are fathers, loved their children from the moment they were born, but really didn't know how to "connect" with them. They would feel not that important (mom was in charge of feeding, would tell them they were changing diapers wrong etc.) and so they would cuddle in the evenings and that was the extent of their bonding time.

Then a magical thing happens and the kidlet can throw a ball or learns to crawl--can actively interact with dad. Suddenly they're a person and not so much of a "blob" (from above ). My friends who are dads have all said they didn't really "get it" until the baby was somewhere between 1 and 3.

Not that PD needs any more defense--but I understand where he's coming from and I think a lot of dads go through similar things.