It's Father's Day and I am TRULY BLESSED!

[Desnik]

I totally respect someone for admitting they aren't ready to have kids, and then takes the precautions to not have them. I completely understand that not everyone wants kids, or is ready to have them when others think they should. I really get that. The thing that really troubles me about this post is the "releif" of the loss of a child. I just don't understand that if you didn't want kids, why you had them? Just because your spouse wanted them? Then you maybe should've found someone who also didn't want children. Didn't your wife suffer in the beginning of your kids lives when you really didn't want to be a dad? I really feel bad for her and it must have been really hard for her. I'm really glad you have matured and have had a change of heart. But has your wife forgiven you?

And I really have to address the comment about not wanting children being compared to post parteum depression. Are you kidding??????
You cannot compare a person who doesn't want kids, then does to make his wife happy, then resents it and finally comes around to a woman giving birth and hormones out of wack and going through emotion turmoil. Sorry but no one gets from me by saying they are relieved when their wife has a miscarriage.

 

[aidensdad]

Holey crap man I think your even worse of a person then most people here say you are, I loved my child from the time I found out my wife was pregnant, and to be relieved when someone you are suppose to love goes through something like a miscarriage when they really want that child, selfish Is not the word here.

 

[Papa Deuce]

Holey crap man I think your even worse of a person then most people here say you are, I loved my child from the time I found out my wife was pregnant, and to be relieved when someone you are suppose to love goes through something like a miscarriage when they really want that child, selfish Is not the word here.

Again, and get this... that was SIX YEARS AGO..... I am not that guy any longer. OH well, I tried to show something POSITIVE ( a 100% trasnformation ) and people want to fixate on how I felt 6 years ago, and not today!

Peace to all.

 

[Cass]

i hope his kids are having a good day with their mom.

Better her than him, she loves them when they cry and wake her up at night,

real love is taking the good with the bad - not just loving someone when there is something in it for you.

 

[Papa Deuce]

how nicefor him. he's spending his father's day in front of the computer with his "dis fan club". i hope his kids are having a good day with their mom.

OK, then. I am off to the YMCA pool, with JUST my kids, while mom stays at home and works on her job. Cheers!

 

[SillyMe]

I think people who have experienced miscarriages might be extremely offended.

Yeah, I'm sure glad he wasn't my husband when I suffered my miscarriage. What a support system.

 

[twinmomplus2new]

Hey Cass and Aidens Dad...

Papa Deuce

 

[va32h]

Not everybody is ready for kids when they come around. I wasn't. But at least the end result is positive.

This is the same argument my dad used on me when he came around - when I was 25, married, and had a child of my own.

He cheerfully admitted he was a selfish jerk throughout my entire childhood, but hey, that was in the past, why dwell on it? He was there now, and that's all that mattered, and oh by the way, he'd love to have a relationship with his grandchildren since he "missed out on all that" when I was a kid.

So I guess you are entitled to "congratulations" that it only took you five years to decide that you loved your own children. Just don't expect them to be falling all over themselves with gratitude that they finally earned your love.

 

[SillyMe]

This is the same argument my dad used on me when he came around - when I was 25, married, and had a child of my own.

He cheerfully admitted he was a selfish jerk throughout my entire childhood, but hey, that was in the past, why dwell on it? He was there now, and that's all that mattered, and oh by the way, he'd love to have a relationship with his grandchildren since he "missed out on all that" when I was a kid.

So I guess you are entitled to "congratulations" that it only took you five years to decide that you loved your own children. Just don't expect them to be falling all over themselves with gratitude that they finally earned your love.

Exactly. Most of the hard work is done now. Now they're more enjoyable.

 

[L107ANGEL]

Wow!! It only took you a couple of years to appreciate your children and feel "blessed". You must be quite proud.

 

[patsvette]

Papa deuce,this is exactly how i felt about kids .After a failed marriage and not wanting kids and she wanted kids,i got remarried ,same thing she didnt want any neither did i.Well 8 years later she changed her mind,she was 30 i was 36 going on 37.I wasnt too happy but i didnt want another divorce either,so i gave in.Now hes 1 1/2 years old and everyday he makes me laugh,he truely is a blessing to me,i couldnt be happier that i did it.Happy Fathers Day

 

[poohandwendy]

Wow, that is some incredible pot stirring PD...well done!

Btw, 6 years ago you were how old? My Dh was 19 when our DD was born and welcomed her with as much unconditional love as I did. I hope you spare your DDs of this type of 'honesty'.

Sorry to hear your wife had a miscarriage and while she was suffering, you were 'incredibly relieved'. I imagine that was a very lonely place for her to be.

You are right about one thing, YOU are blessed.

 

[rparmfamily]

I appreciate your honesty and what you are trying to say in this post, basically that something you thought was unbelievable happened, and that was you became a person who loved children, at least their own.

 

[Cool-Beans]

Enjoy it while you can. Since you didn't love the kids until you could feel how they loved YOU, you won't be loving them for long. If it is all about you, it'll be over before you know it.

They don't keep adoring and loving you the way they do when they are 5. You don't so much feel the love when they are 16 or 17.

I understand that many men feel no attachment to an unborn child, and I can understand that. To them it isn't really a baby. They can't see it or hold it, it doesn't gurgle or cry. But almost all guys snap out of it when the baby is born.

I do not understand how you couldn't love you own baby. But I know lot of people don't.

 

[disney4us2002]

Well as always PD gets pages and pages of replies, lol.

I don't get why people are soooo extreme about his relief in miscarrying. We had a miscarriage 5 months into our marriage and I was both heartbroken and relieved. We were 22 and 23 and barely out of college and working. No way were we ready to have a child, either financially or emotionally. There is not a single doubt in my mind that if asked my dh would say he was relieved more than heartbroken. We've since had three terrific sons so I don't think being relieved was any indication of future ability to love a child.

I would estimate that of the men in our family at least half are not baby people. They definitely got more interested in the kids as they approached 2 and 3.

Have a great day!

 

[Papa Deuce]

My final post on this thread.... I can't believe how judgemental so many of you are. Yes, I WAS that guy six YEARS AGO. And now I am not.

and to the poster who said I appreciated them AFTER the hard work was done.... well guess what? It was ME --- almost NEVER my wife -- who did the overnight feedings. It was me who did almost all the housework for those two years. It was me who gained 50 pounds during those years because I was awake all night with the kids, and then working 3PM to midnight... I had NO ENERGY.

I seriously can not understand that you can't accept that I made a change for the positive.

Happy Father's Day Dads. I hope you feel as loved and lucky as I do!

 

[Lynn CC]

Happy Father's Day!
I'm glad you came around LOL
Children are really a blessing, and I'm glad you love your twins so much.
I think a lot of new fathers (and some mothers) are overwhelmed during those first years. I can't imagine it X2, I guess it's twice the overwhelming feelings of everything combined (if that makes sense).!

Enjoy your special Day!

 

[C.Darwin]

Today, 11:55 AM #45
Papa Deuce
DIS Veteran


OK, then. I am off to the YMCA pool, with JUST my kids, while mom stays at home and works on her job. Cheers!

since you're still posting here, apparently you didn't take your kids anywhere or didn't care for their company for very long. enjoy your day in front of the computer. your kids will have lovely memories of the father's day they spent watching you post mean things about them on the internet.

 

[mickeyfan2]

My final post on this thread.... I can't believe how judgemental so many of you are. Yes, I WAS that guy six YEARS AGO. And now I am not.

and to the poster who said I appreciated them AFTER the hard work was done.... well guess what? It was ME --- almost NEVER my wife -- who did the overnight feedings. It was me who did almost all the housework for those two years. It was me who gained 50 pounds during those years because I was awake all night with the kids, and then working 3PM to midnight... I had NO ENERGY.

I seriously can not understand that you can't accept that I made a change for the positive.

Happy Father's Day Dads. I hope you feel as loved and lucky as I do!

So you are back from the YMCA already? How long did they get to swim? You only posted going two hours ago.

 

[Cass]

Smart move abandoning his thread though, with every successive post he makes himself look worse and worse. Time to cut bait before more damage is done.