It's Father's Day and I am TRULY BLESSED!

[barbeml]

IMHO, it isn’t right to force somebody who doesn’t wish to have kids to start a family./QUOTE]

Men who don't want kids should get a vasectomy or stop having sex.

 

[Mercy]

Personally, I think Papa Deuce needs to spend more time with his children and less time DISing. Maybe if he had, it wouldn't have taken so long to bond with them.

 

[tmt martins]

IMHO, it isn’t right to force somebody who doesn’t wish to have kids to start a family./QUOTE]

Men who don't want kids should get a vasectomy or stop having sex.

As me and DW decided that since we both had to work full time jobs we would stop at one

I did your first suggestion

As for the Second I don't quite know how it happened but for a bit that was going on as well

Maybe because all she was doing was the and all I was doing was & & With the DD

 

[transparant]

I am truely amazed at what I'm reading here. It has taken me all morning to read all this. What a mess.
I for one do not read anything all that bad in the original post. As a few other people here have pointed out, perhaps a poor choice of words, but the sentiment overall is that of a deep love for his children.
I know I've only been active on here for a very short time, but this is what I've noticed.
A woman posts that she will not give her son a graduation party and everyone here tears her to shreds that she should release the past and focus on the present and the accomplishments that he's made.
This man posts that while he didn't think he wanted children, he has in his heart moved so far past that and truely loves being a father, and you all rip him to shreds because of his past and you can't see the present.
Several have made nasty comments about how he spent Fathers Day on the computer. Correct me if I"m wrong, but the only way you know that is because you too were on the computer. Double standard?
Perhaps if he had gotten on here and said he would rather spend his day surrounded by his stuffed animals because they were his mommies and threatened to report everyone who didn't agree with him, everyone here would have gathered into their protective arms and coddled him.
I just don't get it. A lot of you have the play ground bully mentality that is scary. It is more than evident the posters you like and the ones you don't like.
And before making wild judgements against others, I've always been told it's best to sweep around your own front door before complaining about the mess around someone elses.
Hope all the fathers here had as wonderful a Fathers Day as I did.

What an excellent post Jimbo!

 

[JerseyJanice]

You know, I was one of the first people to respond to this thread. I'll admit I was somewhat put off by some of the wording in the OP, but since I'm the kind of person who tries very hard NOT to judge other parents--especially those I've never met or seen interact with their families--I decided to post only what I was feeling about this Father's Day.

I am someone who has had three miscarriages; let me tell you, I never once thought of any of them as having lost "children." To me, they were pregnancies that didn't work out. To think of them like I've lost three children is more than I could ever bear. I've lost three adults in my life already who meant the world to me; I can't stand the notion that I had three "babies" who died as well.

My husband told me after two of my miscarriages that he was relieved because he thought the miscarriages were God's way of sparing us from having a very sick or disabled child.

I never thought to be mad or offended or hurt by his reaction. I felt like such a failure as a woman for not bearing him more children that I was relieved he didn't suffer and mourn as much as I did.

Anyway, I just want to comment that I've noticed a couple of people on this thread, as well as other threads, who I think are particularly kind and big-hearted individuals. Dakota Lynn and Lucyblondecat are the posters I'm referring to.

Don't know whether either of you will come back to this thread, but if you do, I just wanted to tell you two that you are both exceptionally compassionate women. The people in your real life must be very blessed to have you.

 

[N.Bailey]

I really don't want to make a long post that's super elaborate, but until you've had 2 children in diapers at the same time, you can't begin to know how physically demanding it can be.

Just as one example.

Imagine having to go to the grocery store. Imagine having to lug two infant seats to the vehicle and getting them both strapped in. Imagine having to take them out of their seat and into a stroller to shop. Imagine lugging them back to the car and getting them fastened back in. Getting home and having to get them both out of the vehicle and into the house, along with your groceries.

I'm telling you, it's purely exhausting. Unless you have the luxury of both spouses going together, every trip out of the house is a major chore. Everyday at home is more of a chore as you've got cooking/cleaning/laundry/feedings/diaper changes, (for 2) etc.... I don't know about Papa, but I certainly didn't have the luxury of staying home. I had to work. Hubby had to work. He worked daylight and I worked 2nd shift so we didn't have strangers raising our children.

Now, I totally adored both of my children, but it really is purely exhausting. When they get a bit older where their not quite as physical, life does become somewhat enjoyable again. I can certainly understand the timing of PD's change of heart. It's totally reflective of having just a wee bit of time to relax.

Trust me, you can say all you want, till you walk a mile in shoes that have to juggle all this, you have no idea what he's been thru.

 

[poohandwendy]

I really don't want to make a long post that's super elaborate, but until you've had 2 children in diapers at the same time, you can't begin to know how physically demanding it can be.

Just as one example.

Imagine having to go to the grocery store. Imagine having to lug two infant seats to the vehicle and getting them both strapped in. Imagine having to take them out of their seat and into a stroller to shop. Imagine lugging them back to the car and getting them fastened back in. Getting home and having to get them both out of the vehicle and into the house, along with your groceries.

I'm telling you, it's purely exhausting. Unless you have the luxury of both spouses going together, every trip out of the house is a major chore. Everyday at home is more of a chore as you've got cooking/cleaning/laundry/feedings/diaper changes, (for 2) etc.... I don't know about Papa, but I certainly didn't have the luxury of staying home. I had to work. Hubby had to work. He worked daylight and I worked 2nd shift so we didn't have strangers raising our children.

Now, I totally adored both of my children, but it really is purely exhausting. When they get a bit older where their not quite as physical, life does become somewhat enjoyable again. I can certainly understand the timing of PD's change of heart. It's totally reflective of having just a wee bit of time to relax.

Trust me, you can say all you want, till you walk a mile in shoes that have to juggle all this, you have no idea what he's been thru.

LOL, Been there, done that. For over a year, I was the sole caregiver to my sisters kids for 11-12 hours per day (pretty much their waking hours- 7-8 am to 7-8pm). Yep, that is 6 kids ages 4 and under.

I had infant twins (niece and nephew), my 2 year old son, my 3 year old nephew and two 4 year olds (my DD and niece)...all day 5 days per week. I know all about exhausting. The best part is when all of the kids except my DD came down with the chicken pox...one after another. Five infant/toddler/preschooler with chicken pox is no picnic. There was also the seemingly endless flus, colds, runny noses, potty training, fevers, etc. Trying to prepare meals with 6 cranky kids, trying to clean up after spills, scraped knees...ah, the joy...LOL. I really cherished the time though, becuase that was the most time I ever had to spend with my nieces and nephews before and after that period. I will feel forever bonded with them because of it. (long story, family issues)

It absolutely is mentally and physically exhausting. And I do not fault anyone for feeling overwhelmed under any circumstances with young children...whether there is one very difficult child or many. It's tough when you are having a hard time of it.

I think the wording of the OP is what seems to suggest that he didn't like the kids rather than the situation. I think that is what came off so wrong. It makes it seem like he didn't love them until they had something to offer, rather than take up his time. (and to be honest, I think the OP was quite aware of the pot he was stirring when he wrote the first post, ie "I knew some of you would react that way"- so why not just preface with I have always loved my dd's, it was just tough at first and became so much more great when they were older?)

That said, I do not doubt that the OP loves his daughters. I just think it might be a good idea to use some tact if he ever feels the need to explain his feelings on it to them, someday.

 

[eddad]

If I might share for a moment.....

About 6 years ago me and the DW (JennyMom) went to the grocery store in the parking lot was a late model BMW with a sign in the window that read "We can not have children if you can help please call" and then it gave a number. I thought this was the saddest thing I had ever seen,till your post. Don't get me wrong it is still very sad, but I want to cry when I think of what you missed during those years(And you did miss alot because of your detachment)It's Great that you now regret that........but MAN! I hope your children never read that post.

 

[L107ANGEL]

If I might share for a moment.....

About 6 years ago me and the DW (JennyMom) went to the grocery store in the parking lot was a late model BMW with a sign in the window that read "We can not have children if you can help please call" and then it gave a number. I thought this was the saddest thing I had ever seen,till your post. Don't get me wrong it is still very sad, but I want to cry when I think of what you missed during those years(And you did miss alot because of your detachment)It's Great that you now regret that........but MAN! I hope your children never read that post.

Exactly!

 

[DawnCt1]

I seriously can not understand that you can't accept that I made a change for the positive.

Happy Father's Day Dads. I hope you feel as loved and lucky as I do!

PD. I have read some of this thread but I have been reading your various posts for quite a while now. I have never had any doubt that you love your daughters. That has always been evident to me.

 

[Kimmielee]

Instead of saying "You are so messed up, I hope your children never know" why not say "I am glad that you have come to love your children and are now willing to be the father that you were meant to be".

Well said Jenna - I can't believe that everyone that is passing judgement has lead a perfect life, made no mistakes, have no regrets and can honestly say that there would never be a reason to pass judgement on them.

I'm not perfect, not by far. I have found that some posters can be judgemental over the smallest thing... and yes, over some big things too...

However, we should not cast our judgements. It is not our responsibility. It should never be our pleasure.

Papa - as I told you in a PM - keep your head high and know that you are now a very good Father. I only wish my son had one that came around - it's been 6 and 1/2 years and he's never laid eyes on his son. His loss.

Your children are blessed, as are you. Take care!

 

[goofygirl]

Personally, I think Papa Deuce needs to spend more time with his children and less time DISing. Maybe if he had, it wouldn't have taken so long to bond with them.

If all the parents on the DIS stopped DISing, there would be no DIS!

What PapaD went through is actually more common than you think. Its just that most people who feel this (and I am talking BOTH dads and moms) won't ever admit to ever disliking, or not bonding with their children.

At least he's man enough to admit it.

 

[Cass]

I have found that some posters can be judgemental over the smallest thing... and yes, over some big things too...

However, we should not cast our judgements.

You just cast your judgement on the posters here.

 

[Kimmielee]

You just cast your judgement on the posters here.

No, I don't feel that I did. If anything my comments were on casting judgements in general. Not refering to any certain poster. Hope that helps clarify for you! Sorry to cause any confusion.

Any further questions can be sent to me via PM as I am not subsrcibing to this thread any longer. IMHO, it's gone on long enough.

Best Wishes to Papa.... Thanks!

 

[cardaway]

Anybody watch Super Nanny last night?

I couldn't help but to think of this thread as the mom gave her daughters the go away hand sign so she could surf the net.

 

[mickeyfan2]

Anybody watch Super Nanny last night?

I couldn't help but to think of this thread as the mom gave her daughters the go away hand sign so she could surf the net.

I watched it last night. Did not think of this thread, but did enjoy how they helped the autistic boy.

 

[JKMastalski]

PD. I have read some of this thread but I have been reading your various posts for quite a while now. I have never had any doubt that you love your daughters. That has always been evident to me.

I completely agree!

 

[Cass]

I am not subsrcibing to this thread any longer.

Sure your not!

 

[C.Darwin]

You stuck around, and you are happy about it. At least you are a real man, and not a deadbeat dad or absentee dad.

don't pat him for that. when the kids are out of high school/or college, if he is still around, you can pat him for not being a deadbeat dad. that's about 15 years away though.

 

[WebmasterPete]

Just a reminder....

If you can't post something without using foul language or making a personal attack then you probably shouldn't post here.

Pete