Is your Freshman going to Homecoming?

[FINFAN]

I can't believe how much the school is pushing this....DD and her boyfriend are not too keen about going to the dance...they know it is a fortune, think it will be boring etc., not many of their friends plan on going...and they are getting grief about it from other students. I did not go my freshman year but did the all the other years, thought it was fun, helped decorate the gym etc. Is it different now? I think part of the problem is DD attends a freshman campus so they are split from the rest of the school and a lot of school "spirit" tends to be missed out on...and secondly DD can't stand to get dressed up...it was a battle for weeks over a skirt for graduation last June. To top it off, she is maybe, a size 00...4'9" @ 71 lbs so she knows her clothing choices are limited. Luckily she loves Oriental styles, I have found some cute things in Asian shops and their siazes are really small. I don't know...kids don't need this extra stress at all.


Pam

 

[Sandy V.]

My freshman son probably isn't going - after talking to many of his friends, it appears that most of them aren't going either.

I agree with you - there's WAY too much pressure to make them grow up too soon!

 

[sharbear]

My freshman DD is going. She's very excited. Most of her friends have been invited, they are all going with boys who are friends and everybody is going in a big group.

There is not a lot of pressure to date at her school, you do not have to be dating someone to go to homecoming. In fact most of the couples are not dating, they are going as friends.

My DS is a junior, he's going to ask someone who is a friend but he won't ask until he has to buy a bid. He has a big group that goes to all of the dances, he'll ask someone from that group. They include everyone whether they have a date or not. Couples go, girls go stag, boys go stag. Nobody really cares.

 

[FINFAN]

The whole "date" thing isn't an issue, her BF says he'll go if she wants...and I know anyone can attend in whatever group or choice they want...but it is the pushing by the school that is bugging me, and the "expectations" of the night in general...DD said she feels like she will be made fun of if she chooses not to go...like she'll be a loser....and she really is just not interested in attending the dance. She wants to go to the football game and activities...so she does want to join in with the spirit of it all, but she says ALL anyone talks about is the dance and that the teachers keep bringing it up too. I know I enjoyed it and was excited about it, but she is not and I wish they could just tone it down a bit. Not to mention the plans that are being made by those who ARE planning to attend...Limos, tanning salons, manicures, fancy restaurants,dresses running $200, hair appts...it's crazy! This is HOMECOMING! Not a wedding! What will be left for these kids when they want to do up a REALLY big night in their lives?

 

[Kirby]

My son, who's a Junior this year, went to his homecoming dance during his Freshman and Sophomore years. He didn't do all the limo thing, but buying Homecoming mums and corsages were quite expensive. And he was disappointed both years. The first year his date spent most of the time with her girlfriends. Last year the same thing. And rap was the only type of music played.

This year, a group of girls have planned a progressive dinner instead of going to the homecoming dance. He's escorting one of them. So no clothing expenses this year. And he is making her a mum instead of having it made.

How about a nice pantsuit? If her boyfriend wear's a nice suit or a sport coat and tie, they will look fine. We have a freshman center also, and most of the boys that attended that dance didn't wear a jacket, just had to have a tie. I remember because my son told me. I made him wear a sport coat.

I came back to say, after re-reading your post that if she doesn't want to go, then she shouldn't. I know it's hard, especially with all the talk at school. Maybe, she and her boyfriend can do something else. I don't know how big the school is, it may sound like everyone is going, but in reality, not everyone is.

 

[parmtoo]

Both of my DDs are going, One is a freshman, the other is a junior. Older DD, 16, has gone every year, and of corse this is the first year for DD, 14. She is going with a good friend, and my oldest is going with her boyfriend.

 

[Cruise04]

I asked dd about this the other day. She doesn't think she wants to go (which is good for me because I have no clue how the dress code is, etc. and don't have time to go out and get a fancy dress - we didn't dress up in fancy clothes when I was in high school for homecoming, just regular slacks and nice blouse or a nice skirt/dress was enough). But she does want to go to the football game and bonfire.

 

[jennyanydots]

my dd hasn't mentioned the homecoming dance yet...

she's a cheerleader and will be at the homecoming game, so I suspect she'll want to go to the dance.

she still has all the fancy dresses from when she was on the bar and bat mitzvah circuit, so even if she can't find something new, she's got something appropriate.

 

[KarenC]

Both my kids went to homecoming as freshmen. There isn't really pressure from the school for them to go, but it's definitely something they want to do.

I'm curious whether my son will want to go to prom this year. Since he's a junior, he can. His girlfriend is a sophomore. Prom is where the big bucks come in...he better get a job!

 

[Beauty]

Freshman, ha!

My 7th grader can't wait to go! The 7th and 8th graders aren't allowed to stay for the entire dance but they can go for a few hours. They are also all going as "friends" and not boyfriend/girlfriend. They are then going to J.C.'s best friend's house to watch a movie and have Pizza.

 

[CJMickeyMouse]

I just asked DS that question the other day. He did not hesitate when he responded "Nope!" with a big smile.

Ok by me!

 

[FINFAN]

I can't wait for DD to read all these posts...she will feel much better that she is in good company with not going to the dance.
Thanks all!

Pam

 

[luvdzny]

DD is a sophomore this year, she went to Homecoming last year and had a great time. She was REALLY excited about this years dance, but she found out yesterday that her boyfriend is being moved up to the Varsity Soccer team and the have a tournament the night of the dance. She got a beautiful new dress, has a hair & makeup appointment, dinner plans etc. now her boyfriend can't go!!!! Anyway, I guess I got off of the subject a bit. If your DD really does not want to go I would not force her. I am sure that a few days after the dance no one will remember if she was there or not.

 

[Kitty 34]

My Freshman son is very shy and quiet so I would be very surprised he goes. He will be playing in the Homecoming parade and halftime band program......that will be enough for him!

 

[FINFAN]

Oh....I'm not forcing her to go, believe me....she feels like the school/classmates are putting the pressure on. The dance is a whole month away...I am just going to let it ride. If she changes her mind...well...like I said, she isn't into high fashion so Iwon't have to worry about the most stylish of outfits...she just needs stuff tiny enough! I should have her problem )

Pam

 

[Tiggeroo]

My sons are going to be sr's and have never gone to homecoming. I was a bit disappointed that they didn't go last year. I've been meaning to ask them because it would be just like them to spring it on me last minute and not have the clothes to wear. Both popular guys in varsity sports and hate dances. One went to prom last year only under pressure of his then girlfriend. So we'll see. I'm dreading prom because they are both planning on going this year.

 

[Feralpeg]

DD went when she was a freshman. She is going this year, but it is really expensive for the kids. Back in Missouri, the dance was held in the gym. Here in Florida, DD's homecoming dance will be held at the Dolphin. It costs $40 per kid for a ticket to the dance. Then of course, there is the evening gown. What ever happened to nice dresses? Add in the cost of flowers and dinner before the dance and you are talking about a lot of money. DD doesn't have a date. She doesn't know that many kids yet. She is planning on going with some other girls. I told her if she did get a date that she would need to buy her own ticket. That would be just to much for a high school boy to put out for a dance.

 

[dancergirl]

I went to homecoming my freshman and sophmore years. Last year my (then) boyfriend put on a button down and shorts and I slipped a dress on and we took some pictures at my house, then we changed and went to a friends house and hung out and watched a movie. It was a lot of fun. This year homecoming was supposed to be tomorrow, but because of Ivan they have cancelled it until oct 1. I wasnt planning on going, but may go now.
anyway- a little closer to the subject- it seems that freshman at our school always make a big deal over it, all worried about getting a date and dress, ect. But the upper classmen dont really care. I dont enjoy dancing like that, so i just go to hang out with friends and laugh at some others . Most people go w/o dates so they can dance with whom ever they would like to. Our dance is also after the football game, so It is only really about 2 hours. I guess some people go out and eat, but it is not near as big as prom, I wouldnt really know though, I am in the band so I have to stay at the game until the 3rd quarter (if we are winning) or after the game is over.
I hope your DD doesn't feel pressured into anything! Maybe she can have her bf and a couple of other friends that arent going, over that night for movies and breakfast! (breakfast is always served after dances here! heh)
Good Luck!!

edited to add: It only cost $2 per person or $3 per couple to get in at ours. We have it in the gym. $40 for homecoming!?!? Thats crazy!! It is around that for Prom here!!