Is this school "punishment" acceptable?

[jodifla]

Easy to say, so long as you aren't the one with 20 5 year olds all talking at the same time without raising their hands.

If that's the case, you have no control over your classroom, anyway.

It's interesting that the OP's mother is a teacher and is appalled.

I think the name on the board thing is OK for older elementary students. But it would have NEVER been instituted in kindergarten in my day, back in the 60s. I mean, think about it. Kindergarten in my day was fun and games. Nowadays, it's some sort of boot camp, apparently, in some districts.

 

[daisyduck123]

Hmmmm....I think some people should try substitute teaching before they try to say how teachers should institute their discipline plans.

 

[DisneyLovingMama]

Kindergarten in my day was fun and games.

I guess that's where I come from, too. All year I've been having a hard time reconciling the kindergarten of my memories with the kindergarten of DD's realities. My issue to get over, I know.

DD was fine today, but the first thing she said was "I didn't get my name on the board." Every day, it's that overriding thought for her - not her letters, numbers, music, science she is learning, but that she towed the line enough to not get written up. To me, that is is the biggest disservice to these kids.

I'm not against disciplining or the teacher ruling the classroom. And, to DD, I support the teacher 100%. But, I do think this teacher overreacts to certain things and jumps to "punish" rather than coach or guide. I could cite countless instances, but won't (lest this thread go another 7 pages ).

I have talked to the director of the school, and the associate director about my concerns, but to no avail. Since I had no other kindergarten options (public school is 1/2 day, with the pre- and post-care at the same school DD is at now), I left her in the school. Maybe that was a mistake, given some of my misgivings. But, I also figured that DD would have to learn to deal with different teachers and methods, as would I.

Anyway, I'm rambling...thanks to all for their input.

 

[BuckNaked]

DD was fine today, but the first thing she said was "I didn't get my name on the board." Every day, it's that overriding thought for her - not her letters, numbers, music, science she is learning, but that she towed the line enough to not get written up. To me, that is is the biggest disservice to these kids.

(emphasis added by me)

Do you mean "every day" as in today, the very day after she was disciplined? I'd be concerned if it weren't on her mind the day after it happened. Rather than fretting about her thinking about it, you should be praising her for keeping in mind what happens when she disobeys the rules, thereby making it less likely that she will do so in the future.

 

[DisneyLovingMama]

(emphasis added by me)

Do you mean "every day" as in today, the very day after she was disciplined? I'd be concerned if it weren't on her mind the day after it happened. Rather than fretting about her thinking about it, you should be praising her for keeping in mind what happens when she disobeys the rules, thereby making it less likely that she will do so in the future.

No, I do mean every day (or nearly so) since this policy was instituted. I do know the difference between every day and today.

And, of course I praised her and reinforced her good behavior. That pretty much goes without saying (or so I thought).

 

[poohandwendy]

Oh good Lord...this is so not a big deal.

Shame, when you are doing the wrong thing, is an important life lesson. Period.
Consequences, when you are doing the wrong thing, are good life lessons. Period.

Funny thing is the kids can handle it and they do not suffer long term damage from discipline, the parents are the ones wringing their hands over these types of issues.

 

[poohandwendy]

No, I do mean every day (or nearly so) since this policy was instituted. I do know the difference between every day and today.

If this is the thing that has been foremost on her mind every moment of the day since this policy was instituted, why didn't she raise her hand?

 

[DisneyLovingMama]

Because she's five, but thank you for settling it all for me with your previous post. I feel much better now.

 

[Christine]

I will tell you that, at 5 years old, one the biggest problems is the kids all "rushing" to be the first one to get the answer out first. When my son was in Kindergarten, the teacher pulled me aside one day to tell me that my son was "so smart" but that he was never giving the other kids a chance to answer. As soon as she asked the question, he was blurting the answer out right away. Apparently, he was not the only one. In Kindergarten, at age 5, one of *the* biggest deals is learning classroom rules and how to conduct yourself. Raising your hand before you speak is a biggie. It's one of the fundamental basics of behavior. I think it would be "stupid" to have the name going up for this in 5th grade. But it is totally appropriate at age 5. The kids just want to please the teacher so bad that they often blurt out before they are called on.

 

[Toby'sFriend]

I think the name on the board thing is OK for older elementary students.

Honestly? What do you mean by older elementary? Fifth and Sixth grade?

Because I have to think that any 12 year old who is not capable of consistently remembering that you raise your hand and wait for the teacher to call your name before you answer --- really doesn't need their name on the Board, a Yellow Light Warning, or an Apple Pulled From their Tree. They need Detention or to be removed to from the Classroom to the Principal's Office.

 

[Wishing on a star]

Well, given the description of this teachers teaching style, yelling, belittling, I would be very concerned about my childs reaction, if my child truly seemed this upset and worried about it. There is a big difference with simply having your name written on the board, and this possibly being a catalyst for other completely inappropriate treatment. It is important here to note that little 5 year olds may not be able to fully comprehend and verbalize their fears and their feelings.

I am with the OP that, given the little girls reaction, there might be a problem. And, her name appearing on the board may not be all there is to it. The OP knows her daughter best. And, a parent does have a right to be concerned.

A child should NOT go to school fearful and immobilized.

I am beginning to wonder if there is not more to this story.
As I had mentioned. Out of this whole thread, and everything that the OP has said, it was that one sentence that really grabbed me, about the yelling and the belittling.

 

[BuckNaked]

I do know the difference between every day and today.

Then perhaps you should have been more clear in your post.

I am with the OP that, given the little girls reaction, there might be a problem.

I agree that there seems to be a problem, but we most likely would disagree on what that problem is.

A child should NOT go to school fearful and immobilized.

Please. If she were truly "fearful and immobilized" she wouldn't have spoken without raising her hand. And yes, I understand completely that 5 year olds do that, but I also understand, and so should they, that there are consequences for doing so.

I am beginning to wonder if there is not more to this story.

It sounds to me as if there is, but again, I doubt would we agree on which side "the rest of the story" falls.

 

[jodifla]

I will tell you that, at 5 years old, one the biggest problems is the kids all "rushing" to be the first one to get the answer out first. When my son was in Kindergarten, the teacher pulled me aside one day to tell me that my son was "so smart" but that he was never giving the other kids a chance to answer. As soon as she asked the question, he was blurting the answer out right away. Apparently, he was not the only one. In Kindergarten, at age 5, one of *the* biggest deals is learning classroom rules and how to conduct yourself. Raising your hand before you speak is a biggie. It's one of the fundamental basics of behavior. I think it would be "stupid" to have the name going up for this in 5th grade. But it is totally appropriate at age 5. The kids just want to please the teacher so bad that they often blurt out before they are called on.

I think that any adult who is hellbent on making a 5-year-old feel ashamed for making a mistake on a classroom rule has no place around kids.

They are in kindergarten. For many, it may be their first school experience. It is a learning year. Certainly, there must be more humane ways to introduce them to school without the public shaming that so many of you seem so in favor of.

And how did we get to 12-year-olds? THIS IS A 5 YEAR OLD!

 

[cruisnfamily]

Oh good Lord...this is so not a big deal.

Shame, when you are doing the wrong thing, is an important life lesson. Period.
Consequences, when you are doing the wrong thing, are good life lessons. Period.

Funny thing is the kids can handle it and they do not suffer long term damage from discipline, the parents are the ones wringing their hands over these types of issues.

I must say I agree....especially with the part I've bolded.

 

[BuckNaked]

I think that any adult who is hellbent on making a 5-year-old feel ashamed for making a mistake on a classroom rule has no place around kids.

"hellbent"? So, because the teacher is insisting that her rules be followed, she is "hellbent" on shaming kids?

They are in kindergarten. For many, it may be their first school experience. It is a learning year.

Yes, it is a learning year. And part of that learning is discipline when they don't follow the rules.

Certainly, there must be more humane ways to introduce them to school without the public shaming that so many of you seem so in favor of.

OMG, you've got to be kidding!!! Writing a child's name on the board is inhumane?

 

[In a hurry]

"Hellbent on humniliation?" Are you kidding me? Do you actually know how teachers deal with the whole board thing?

Child talks...Stacy, you need to raise your hand...

Child talks again...All right, Stacy...writes name on board...(5 seconds lost)

Class goes on with lesson!

Teachers have to have a way of dealing with even little disruptions so that they can do their job...educating children.

If Stacy, and the other 20 kids in the class continue to talk out of turn, no one learns anything. The class is a farce, and the parent is on the Dis saying the teacher has no control over the calssroom.

 

[believe]

My DDs have to flip cards (yellow, red, purple, black). Depending on how often that day they are in trouble the color changes with higher consequences. Can parents see this? YES. Anyone can that is walking in the room. Just in case I don't see it DD has to write her color down and have me sign it everyday. DDs are Kindergarten and Second grade. We also have to sign a paper at the beginning of the year that we are aware of this discipline system and understand it.

We had the dog house on the chalkboard when I was in school. I only got my name in there once. Unfortunately it was a day the teacher was in a foul mood. She took everyone, which was almost the entire class, down to a grade lower, and in front of that class we all got swatted with a ruler. Was I upset about it, yes....did it scar me for life, NO!

 

[Christine]

"hellbent"? So, because the teacher is insisting that her rules be followed, she is "hellbent" on shaming kids?



Yes, it is a learning year. And part of that learning is discipline when they don't follow the rules.




OMG, you've got to be kidding!!! Writing a child's name on the board is inhumane?

BuckNaked,
My thoughts exactly. As I was reading that response, I thought--"writing her name on the board is inhumane???"

 

[Cinderella94]

Teachers have to have a way of dealing with even little disruptions so that they can do their job...educating children.

If Stacy, and the other 20 kids in the class continue to talk out of turn, no one learns anything. The class is a farce, and the parent is on the Dis saying the teacher has no control over the calssroom.

So true.

 

[poohandwendy]

I think that any adult who is hellbent on making a 5-year-old feel ashamed for making a mistake on a classroom rule has no place around kids.

Why do you automatically assume that this is something the teacher wants to do, like she gets some sort of thrill out of it? This is an across the board disciplinary action obviously meant to maintain a sembance of order in the classroom, not a personal issue between the teacher and a particular student.

I really think one of the biggest problems with many of todays parents is the idea that everything is personal or based on the teachers emotional feelings towards the students. Like the teachers are just out to make their children feel bad. I would bet that 99.999% of teachers would love there to be no need for classroom rules. I am sure they would love it if they didn't have to constantly remind the kids to be quiet, bring in their homework, keep their hands to themselves, raise their hands before speaking....

The fact is that they are there to teach and the students lack of self-discipline requires them to have rules set up to maintain order so that the focus can be on learning the lessons being taught. It's a shame some people cannot seem to grasp the challenge of trying to keep order with 20 five year old kids and to actually teach within a limited time frame. And that pulling a child aside or whatever non-shameful private reprimand they think is more approprate is just not practical at all in the classroom setting. That above all else, teachers are just using techniques that work to maintain that order.

Seems to me that many parents are totally unrealistic in thinking that the teachers have the time or the responsibility to coddle their childrens egos.