Is this school "punishment" acceptable?

[HomeSweetDisney]

I really don't see what all the fuss is about But I suppose it comes down to each individual parent and how they disipline their own kids. Some parents will see this form of punishment as horrible and others will see nothing wrong with it. I honestly don't think a kid is going to end up scarred for life because their name got written on a chalkboard. There are worse things in life that they will have to deal with. When I was in elementary school we had a system similar to this. Everyone had their name on a bulletin board and next to each name was a cardholder, like the kind you find in the back of a library book. Each card holder had three different color cards: green, yellow, and red. If your green card was showing it meant that you had been on your best behavior all day. If your yellow card was showing it meant that you had gotten in a bit of trouble for something minor. i.e. talking out of turn, whispering with your neighbor, etc. And if your red card was showing it meant that you did something that warranted either a call home or a trip to the principal's office. This system worked well and there were never any problems with it. There were rewards for good behavior and consequences for bad behavior. I don't see how this is a bad thing, and I think the OP's DD's teacher has a pretty good system going.

 

[DisneyLovingMama]

Finally, I'd hope that the OP has no intention of confronting the parent that spoke to her child, as it likely would do no good. Clearly, the parent in question feels as though it is his/her place to shame someone else's child and would most likely just defend their actions to the OP. Also, the teacher spoke to the parent in question about their comment to the child. I would think the best coarse of action would be to reassure the child that you are not disappointed in them, but that you do expect their behavior to remain good. Which I believe is exactly what the OP has done?

Yes, this is exactly my intention and exactly what I have done with my DD.

 

[HaleyB]

Kids shouldn't, IMO, be given prizes for behaving. Behaving should have intrinsic worth, even for 5 year olds.

The two are not exclusive. Good behavior does have intrinsic worth, a little praise will not take that away. I would never say not to punish the kids that break the rules, but I think it is unrealistic to think that alone will motivate all students. That goes double for Kindergarten.

 

[poohandwendy]

IMHO, it's a sad world where parents are not doing their job if children need rewards to motivate them to behave well in class. Yes, even at 5 years old.

 

[MinnieM3]

I really don't see what all the fuss is about But I suppose it comes down to each individual parent and how they disipline their own kids. Some parents will see this form of punishment as horrible and others will see nothing wrong with it. I honestly don't think a kid is going to end up scarred for life because their name got written on a chalkboard. There are worse things in life that they will have to deal with. When I was in elementary school we had a system similar to this. Everyone had their name on a bulletin board and next to each name was a cardholder, like the kind you find in the back of a library book. Each card holder had three different color cards: green, yellow, and red. If your green card was showing it meant that you had been on your best behavior all day. If your yellow card was showing it meant that you had gotten in a bit of trouble for something minor. i.e. talking out of turn, whispering with your neighbor, etc. And if your red card was showing it meant that you did something that warranted either a call home or a trip to the principal's office. This system worked well and there were never any problems with it. There were rewards for good behavior and consequences for bad behavior. I don't see how this is a bad thing, and I think the OP's DD's teacher has a pretty good system going.

I have not read all of this thread, but the above-described system is in my DS's Kindergarten and I'm not thrilled with it. DS struggles to stay on green or yellow and gets teased when he gets to red, by the other kids. Teacher does nothing. My BIGGEST complaint as a parent and a teacher is that there is NO reward system for good behavior. DS would work hid behind off for a compliment or a sticker, etc. There's got to be some balance at this age. Nor are there ANY notes about DS's good behavior, however small it might be, but plenty about bad behavior.

My system (which parents rave about every year) rewards only good behavior. Period. It works.

 

[Daxx]

So, we're blaming the teacher for having no control over the class ...

How can a teacher have control over students who aren't even controlled at home!? If they're not listening to Mom and Dad (the adult figures in their lives) and run amok in their homes, what would ever make them THINK they have to listen to a teacher or behave in school?!

No discipline at home, none allowed in the schools b/c it upsets the kids ... how are these kids ever going to adapt to life in the real world where things aren't always so rosy?

 

[Lanshark]

And people wonder why no one wants to go into teaching

I left a successful IT career because I felt a "calling" to be a teacher. I'm beginning to think it was just gas.

 

[jodifla]

So, we're blaming the teacher for having no control over the class ...

How can a teacher have control over students who aren't even controlled at home!? If they're not listening to Mom and Dad (the adult figures in their lives) and run amok in their homes, what would ever make them THINK they have to listen to a teacher or behave in school?!

No discipline at home, none allowed in the schools b/c it upsets the kids ... how are these kids ever going to adapt to life in the real world where things aren't always so rosy?

Uh, huh? Who's running amok exactly? Who doesn't have discipline at home?


This is out of left field.

 

[jodifla]

My system (which parents rave about every year) rewards only good behavior. Period. It works.

Are you a teacher? Perhaps you can speak to the naysayers on this thread, who relish the thought of humiliating 5-year-olds for the smallest infraction.

 

[BuckNaked]

Are you a teacher? Perhaps you can speak to the naysayers on this thread, who relish the thought of humiliating 5-year-olds for the smallest infraction.

Exaggerate much? First, no one has suggested that a child should be humiliated. If a child is humiliated by simply having their name on a blackboard, then that child has issues other than discipline.

As for the "only reward good behavior" crap, what is done when children misbehave and disrupt the class? Are they permitted to continue their disruption?

 

[LindsayDunn228]

Exaggerate much? First, no one has suggested that a child should be humiliated. If a child is humiliated by simply having their name on a blackboard, then that child has issues other than discipline.

As for the "only reward good behavior" crap, what is done when children misbehave and disrupt the class? Are they permitted to continue their disruption?

Excellent post!

I am really not understanding this whole "this is humiliating the child" nonsense. Come on now. Getting caught with your pants down is humilating, not getting "your name taken." A little perspective here.

 

[daisyduck123]

As for the "only reward good behavior" crap, what is done when children misbehave and disrupt the class? Are they permitted to continue their disruption?

Good question...I'd like to know too...if you hadn't asked, I would have.

 

[In a hurry]

I have not read all of this thread, but the above-described system is in my DS's Kindergarten and I'm not thrilled with it. DS struggles to stay on green or yellow and gets teased when he gets to red, by the other kids. Teacher does nothing. My BIGGEST complaint as a parent and a teacher is that there is NO reward system for good behavior. DS would work hid behind off for a compliment or a sticker, etc. There's got to be some balance at this age. Nor are there ANY notes about DS's good behavior, however small it might be, but plenty about bad behavior.

My system (which parents rave about every year) rewards only good behavior. Period. It works.

If your son will work his butt off for a sticker, then it sounds as though you need to instigate a behavioral program for him at home.

And, what exactly do you do with the child who doesn't respond to bribery? Up the ante?

The kids in my class behave (1st grade) because it makes school pleasant for everyone. They enjoy school, even though they are occasionally "humiliated." They encourage one another to behave, because it feels good to have a pleasant learning environment. Yeah, 6 year olds are able to comprehand and achieve this. When they are not behving like puppies sitting for a treat.

 

[bianca]

I've hesitated to post, but here's a different perspective for you. My kids were in public school until the end of 5th grade, whereupon, they were (and still are) home-schooled. We were so absolutely sick of our bright children stagnating in a classroom full of "rule-benders with great self-esteem" that we simply had to get them out of there. Our experience with public school was that perhaps MORE children needed to have their name on the board ...... oh, the horror! It seems that only the "behaviorally challenged" kids get bribed continually to behave. I say this from experience, as 4 1/2 years ago we adopted a girl (was 7 at the time) who IS in public school. We attempted to home-school our 3rd daughter, but were unable to ........ so off to public school. After a year of her unending disturbances, it was mutally agreed that she should be placed in an Emotionally Impaired classroom, where she remains today. What those poor teachers went through to get her to behave daily was nothing short of saintly. That said, the bulk of their day was spent "managing" their behavior systems (green light, yellow light, red light) and they seemed truly frazzled by the end of the day. The last few years (in special-ed) have been filled with one incentive or bribe after another, and with no apparent progress. The main focus in the classroom is on improving self-esteem. Our daughter refuses to go to math class, but insists she is going to be a pediatrician, because her teacher told her she can ..... how tragic.

I have seen both sides of the problem up-close and personal. It affects my life every single day. Seems like having a name on the board is "much ado about nothing" from my perspective. Of course, I am a child of the 60's and spanking was still legal when I was in school! Talk about incentives!

 

[In a hurry]

bianca, I've seen mom's go thru what you have. You have my admiration and well wishes, albeit from a total stranger.

 

[Bob Slydell]

Are you a teacher? Perhaps you can speak to the naysayers on this thread, who relish the thought of humiliating 5-year-olds for the smallest infraction.

You know, a lot of us are still waiting for your discipline plan for 5 year olds.

 

[luvmydogs]

If your son will work his butt off for a sticker, then it sounds as though you need to instigate a behavioral program for him at home.

And, what exactly do you do with the child who doesn't respond to bribery? Up the ante?

The kids in my class behave (1st grade) because it makes school pleasant for everyone. They enjoy school, even though they are occasionally "humiliated." They encourage one another to behave, because it feels good to have a pleasant learning environment. Yeah, 6 year olds are able to comprehand and achieve this. When they are not behving like puppies sitting for a treat.

{{{Stands and applauds.}}}

I can't believe we've come to a point where we expect children to be rewarded for proper behavior. What I always expected from my son from preschool throughout, is respect for the teacher and his fellow classmates through the following of classroom/school rules. Goodness, young children are certainly able to understand and follow through with this. I don't want my son sitting still, listening or raising his hand appropriately because he expects a sticker. I want and expect him to do those things because it's the *right* thing to do.

 

[Toby'sFriend]

There is nothing wrong about a child who will work his butt off for a sticker. The problem is, does he do what is expected of him in absence of the sticker?

What are you going to do in 3rd grade, in 7th grade, and in 10th grade when it will take far more than a Nemo Sticker to catch his interest?

 

[leighe]

The reason rewarding every little example of good behavior is a bad idea is because it teaches kids no self-discipline. I have have a room full of 15-17 year olds who ask me things like, "We were quiet when we worked in groups. Can we have a free day tomorrow?" or "If we are all quiet today will you bring us some candy?" What? You have a job and can drive a car and exepct me to fall all over myself because you can get your homework done in World Civ? I don't think so.

 

[Christine]

The reason rewarding every little example of good behavior is a bad idea is because it teaches kids no self-discipline. I have have a room full of 15-17 year olds who ask me things like, "We were quiet when we worked in groups. Can we have a free day tomorrow?" or "If we are all quiet today will you bring us some candy?" What? You have a job and can drive a car and exepct me to fall all over myself because you can get your homework done in World Civ? I don't think so.

My kids make a lot of comments like this (they are 14 and 11). My youngest more so than my oldest. Now, I have NEVER used a rewards system at home, at all. Heck , I don't even give a weekly allowance for chores. But, my kids have been in daycare since they were babies and I'm sure it all started there. My son constantly says to me when I ask him to do this or that "What will I get for it if I do it?"