is this mean?

[binny]

she always has something going on if you know what I mean.

Nothing life threatening or altering though.


She is busy, arent we all ? rolleyes:

 

[MB MinnieGirl]

I know some people find it hard to believe that there are some not so nice grandmothers out there...but there are....I myself had - actually still have one and I'm 33.

I cannot remember ever getting a gift from my grandmother - although I have 3 cousins who were all born 10 years after I was and they were lavished with gifts. My grandmother never I repeat never liked the fact that my father married my mother (nothing horrible she just didn't like her and is VERY controlling of her kids).

She never sent a gift or even a phone call when I gave birth to my DD who is her FIRST great grandchild! It is hurtful - speaking from experience I can tell you it doesn't get any easier. She and I actually had a HUGE blow up about a year ago over the way she treats my fahter and my DD now...I've been fortunate and haven't seen her but once since then. It's sad - but I've lived with it all my life. It's not the lack of gifts that is the point - it is the lack of acknowledgement that hurts.

I'm telling you all of this because I LOVE YOUR IDEA and totally understand your frustration. WRITE THE NOTE AND MAIL IT! I wish I had thought of it myself YEARS ago. It may actually serve as a wake up call to her. She should be made aware that her actions - or non actions - are hurting an innocent 6 year old - HER GRANDCHILD! I believe everybody gets their wake up call at some point - sometimes it's just too late....hopefully hers won't be.

Good luck to you and your DD - sounds like she has a terrific Mommy!!!

 

[4nana]

Very indeed ~

Proud Nana here of 10 grands and one on the way, ages 1-16, in state and cross country. Have never forgotten a BD, card and gift. If I was too busy or weren't feeling well, I'd make arrangements to have something sent.

4U&DD

Best wishes,
~ Sandie

 

[mom2alix]

Based on your later posts clarifying the situation, I'd have to agree with Disney Doll. Send your daughter's note and include one of your own explaining matter of factly what you have done to protect your DD. That way at least one of you is clearly showing concern for your DD's feelings. I'm so sorry your MIL is like that. It's hard to understand how people can act that way.

 

[Beth76]

I don't know....I'm kind of disagreeing with this whole thing. I sort of think buying your daughter a gift and then sending the "fake" thank-you is kind of getting MIL off the hook. Sending her the message that it's OK she forgot, because you picked up the slack and your daughter is none the wiser. And it's giving your daughter a false sense that her grandma actually remembered her birthday. I know you're trying to protect your daughter, but are you going to keep covering for Grandma every year. I don't know what you got her, but what if it's something that she "cherishes" from her grandmother and she finds out one day that it was actually you that gave it.

I"m not saying that what you did was wrong because that's a tough situation to be in. I'm just trying to throw in a different angle here. Something to think about.

 

[4greatboys]

Its sad that some people are just into themselves and dont want to think of others. I never could understand how grandparents could just "forget" birthdays or holidays, or not want to spend time with their grandkids.
I agree with what Beth said about letting grandma off the hook. I know you did it to spare your dd's feelings