Is not allowing your child to nap child abuse?

Keeping the kid up until 10pm and then dragging them out of bed at 5am to get off to work isn't fair to them and they are not getting the minimum sleep needed for their age/growth/development.

I haven't seen a single person yet say they were trying to keep their kid up at night.

The point of the thread, which some moms of those not-quite-normal kids agree with, is that the mom wants the kid to go to bed at 8:30, but if she takes even a short nap, she's up until 10. So using your example, the child gets 9.5 hours of sleep. If she took a 30 minute nap, she'd be up until 10, getting 7 hours of sleep + 30 minute nap = 7.5 hours.
 
I don't think it's abuse or ignorant. Some people encourage late naps so bedtime is late and then everyone can sleep in. Some train for earlier naps so an earlier bedtime. This woman says no naps to get an early bedtime. What's the difference? Every family has to find what works for them.

I agree. I am not a morning person! Never have been , never will be. If my kids were awake and up at 5:30 or 6 one of them would be dead. So yes I didn't put mine to bed at 8, they went at 10 or later but the slept till 8 or 9. My DD never napped but my DS took a late nap for a while.

There is no universal all kids must be in bed at 8 rule anywhere. Every family has to do what works for them and the kids going to bed late worked for me.
 
My middle son was never a big napper...took two 45 minute naps a day,from about three months to about about 11 months, and about 9 hours at night. After that it was one nap a day, about an hour, until he was two, still 9 hours at night. At some point, maybe 2 1/2, he would not sleep at night if he had a nap. Seriously, if he slept during the day he'd be up until 2 or 3a.m. I know it sounds crazy, but its true.

One time my sister came to visit, son was just over 3 yrs. we went to Space Center Houston and he fell asleep in the IMax movie, at 11 in the morning, for about 20 minutes. We then went to Galveston, spent hours on the beach, shopped, etc. Ate dinner, late, at Kemah and drove home to Houston, getting home around midnight. At 2 he was still going strong, loading carrots into a lunch box! My sister was amazed! Its true.

So yeah, I did not let him nap and regretted every time I did let him!

Now hes 15, naps 2-3 days a week after school! He slept until noon today.
 
If you had ever seen true child abuse you wouldn't even think this could be it.

If a 1 yr old truly wanted to sleep just redirecting them wouldn't do it, a baby who's body really needs and wants to sleep would sleep, we have all seen them sleeping thru parades at Disney or on rides, etc.



Not all kids need 16 hrs of sleep. We are individuals and in such have vastly different needs. My DD never napped and never needed that much sleep as a baby. She would only sleep about 9 hrs a night maybe 10 even as a newborn. And she is a perfectly healthy, intelligent, 20 yr old now.

I'm a special educator and I've seen "true" child abuse, or at least the results of it in my classroom.

I've also seen families whose chaotic lives lead to chronic severe sleep deprivation in their children. Usually it's not what the OP is describing here, that is parents setting out intentionally to keep their kids awake, but parents who do things like make their young elementary schoolers do the overnight care taking for younger siblings, or parents who late into the night, leaving their kids in setting where it's impossible to sleep (e.g. a crowded apartment with many family members, TV blaring, no place to lie down) and then pick them up at 1 a.m., waking them up fully to walk to the car before they go home.

The kids in these situations suffer hugely and their suffering looks like the suffering that kids who are being abused show. They're jumpy and hypervigilant, unable to concentrate on their learning. They can be super whiny and clingy. They get sick more often because they're run down. Oftentimes they become explosive, throwing tantrums or being aggressive. They do stupid impulsive things, sometimes including stupid impulsive things that are dangerous.

Sometimes we'll work with a parent to solve a problem, or the problem will be solved in some other way. For example, we worked with a parent with limited cognitive skills to understand why, if they have 1 TV, two preschoolers and two high schoolers, the preschoolers' bedroom wasn't the right place for the TV. That having your siblings watch horror movies or whatever while sitting on the foot of your bed doesn't lead to much sleep. Mom moved the TV to the high school kids' bedroom, and kids got more sleep. Or a parent who works nights will start working days and childcare will change. Anyway, there will be a change that allows kids to get a normal amount of sleep, and it's like the sun comes out. Kids who looked like they had severe cognitive, emotional or attentional problems suddenly look like typical kids.

I don't think that keeping your child awake is abuse on the level of a CPS call. As a mandated reporter, I don't call CPS on these families. But I do think it's abusive, in the same way that I think that families who verbally berate their kids in certain ways are abusive, even though I don't call for that either.

Whether the person in the OP is being abusive, is hard to say without knowing the child and knowing how tired they get.
 
I don't think it's abuse or ignorant. Some people encourage late naps so bedtime is late and then everyone can sleep in. Some train for earlier naps so an earlier bedtime. This woman says no naps to get an early bedtime. What's the difference? Every family has to find what works for them.

I just think it's more about making the child stay awake when she really is tired. No naps is fine if the child is 3 or 4, but honestly, at 1, she's still a baby and needs the sleep. I think the mom needs to work more on how to have a routine in the evening to settle the baby down so she can relax and go to sleep and not just make her stay awake. It's a lot of work and attention to keep her awake. Why not have a good routine to help her fall asleep? I do wonder how late she sleeps in the morning and if Mom wants to sleep in and that's why she keeps her up. I'd bet if she asked her pediatrician, that she'd be told to let the child get her rest.
 
I think anyone telling their pediatrician that they were keeping their 12 month old baby from taking a nap all day so they can sleep at night would suffer their displeasure.
 
I think anyone telling their pediatrician that they were keeping their 12 month old baby from taking a nap all day so they can sleep at night would suffer their displeasure.

Yep. Part of being a parent is being willing to put your child first and not yourself. This mother is putting herself first.
 
I think anyone telling their pediatrician that they were keeping their 12 month old baby from taking a nap all day so they can sleep at night would suffer their displeasure.

Lol....who really cares about that....it's not the pediatricians baby. :confused3
 
:confused3
Lol....who really cares about that....it's not the pediatricians baby. :confused3

I care about what my pediatrician says. I pay them to know their stuff. If they think a 12 month old baby needs a nap, I'm going to consider that advice carefully.:confused3 I don't see why you wouldn't.
 
Well when I was having problems with my son staying up most of the night after napping, multiple pediatricians at the group we used suggested trying to keep him from napping in the afternoon. We tried everything to get him to go to sleep earlier, or failing in that to at least sleep later in the morning, but the only thing that worked was not letting him nap in the afternoon. I'm fairly certain the pediatricians wouldn't have suggested it if they had felt it was abusive.
 
Meh, I don't think it's so terribly odd. My sister's son was a horrible sleeper when he was that young. If he napped, man he'd be up till after midnight. She did all she could to keep him awake by playing with him, giving him snacks, etc. Worked like a charm for her.

Now for me, I was highly encouraging my kids to take naps but they pretty much gave them up around 3 or 4 years old. I was bummed!:laughing:

Babies are all different too, some need more sleep than others. My own were like that. I have a hard time believing every single baby needs the exact same amount of sleep.
 
:confused3

I care about what my pediatrician says. I pay them to know their stuff. If they think a 12 month old baby needs a nap, I'm going to consider that advice carefully.:confused3 I don't see why you wouldn't.

They are there for advice if you need it...but they don't know my child or what my child needs more than I did.
 
I'll say that a big deciding factor in how I feel about this is the timing.

Some kids when they are transitioning off naps, will be sleepy after lunch for a while. A nice full stomach, combined with the right time of day and they'll do what the OP described. But if you keep them awake with a video, or a conversation, or by distracting them with a book, they bounce back and they're eager to go.

Truly sleep deprived? They're cranky tired, ready to fall asleep at the drop of the hat for the remainder of the day. If you've got that situation you're not being fair to your child.
 
I haven't seen a single person yet say they were trying to keep their kid up at night.

The point of the thread, which some moms of those not-quite-normal kids agree with, is that the mom wants the kid to go to bed at 8:30, but if she takes even a short nap, she's up until 10. So using your example, the child gets 9.5 hours of sleep. If she took a 30 minute nap, she'd be up until 10, getting 7 hours of sleep + 30 minute nap = 7.5 hours.

I was responding specifically to someone who indicated that children should be made to work around the parents schedules and was simply stating I don't agree with that as children (especially toddlers/young ones) need a certain amount of sleep based on age so making them work around Mom and Dad's work schedule isn't always appropriate/fair. It also might not allow for enough sleep depending on when they are put to bed/got up in the AM.

Not speaking about kids who have different sleep patterns (as I said mine gave up napping much younger than most) but making kids adhere to your schedule.
 
While I don't think it is abuse I don't agree that toddlers and children sleep schedules should be bound to their parents lives..I think it works the other way. As an adult my needs are not the same as my childs in regards to the hours I work or the rest I need day to day. They need X hours of sleep for growth and health..I don't. When one makes the decision to have children I think they need to realize the have to make some adjustments in life. Keeping the kid up until 10pm and then dragging them out of bed at 5am to get off to work isn't fair to them and they are not getting the minimum sleep needed for their age/growth/development.

The baby staying up till late is the very situation that the parent is trying to avoid. I missed where the child wasn't going to bed till 10:00 at night. I've not seen anyone say that this particular child isn't getting enough sleep, just that the mother is trying to get him on a schedule.

When my nephew was that age, if he took a nap during the day, he would easily be up till midnight or so. However, by encouraging him not to nap, he would go to bed at a much more reasonable 8:00. He was welcome to sleep as late as he liked in the morning (my sister would bundle him in his pajamas and take him to our mom's house). Everyone in the family got the sleep they needed, and they were all much happier for it.
 
I am a night owl - I used to let me boys, now 21 & 17, stay up as latttte as they wanted, as babies. The later they stayed up, the later I could sleep in. ;)

Until you are THIS baby's mom - you don't have much ground to stand on. She's doing what works for her, and apparently the baby as well, as she's not going to bed ridiculously early. :confused3
 
The baby staying up till late is the very situation that the parent is trying to avoid. I missed where the child wasn't going to bed till 10:00 at night. I've not seen anyone say that this particular child isn't getting enough sleep, just that the mother is trying to get him on a schedule.

When my nephew was that age, if he took a nap during the day, he would easily be up till midnight or so. However, by encouraging him not to nap, he would go to bed at a much more reasonable 8:00. He was welcome to sleep as late as he liked in the morning (my sister would bundle him in his pajamas and take him to our mom's house). Everyone in the family got the sleep they needed, and they were all much happier for it.

Please see above..I was responding to a specific poster who indicated children should bend to Mom/Dad's schedule and I was simply stating that depending on the situation it could result in the child not getting enough sleep (if they go down late and are up early for parents to work) and that parents sometimes have to realize the child's need for sleep is different from theirs and make the appropriate accommodations when it comes to sleep.

I am personally not a fan of teaching children to ignore what their body is telling them they need (from forcing them to stay awake when they feel they need to sleep to "cleaning their plate" when eating meals) but that is my personal parenting belief.
 
I did not read the entire thread, but here's my thoughts. As a mandated reporter, I would be inclined to say this is not abuse. I agree that it is ignorant and selfish. DD is almost 4, and goes to bed by 8:30 at the latest. We have a routine and we stick to it (aside from special things we might keep her up late for).

If the OP is truly concerned, she can contact her state's Child Abuse and Maltreatment hotline, and ask the worker who is taking report. The worker will let her know if it is a reportable incident. Now, if the child experienced medical issues due to not being allowed to nap, it would be a CPS call.
 
Lol....who really cares about that....it's not the pediatricians baby. :confused3

:thumbsup2 It drives me crazy the people who live and die on a pediatricians words.

Yes about a disease I'll listen but that is about it!
The rest I'll listen to their opinion (and that is what it is, when it is past hard science) and decide what is best for MY child and myself.
 












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