Is it okay to put family first? (Response to royal family stuff)

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Exactly what I was thinking -- every family has at least one. But we don't slam the entire family on social if crazy Uncle Don said something out of line at a family dinner. If it's a concern we take it up with another family member.

It was one person who made one comment and we still don't know the context of the comment. I'm sure more were speculating on whether the baby would have red hair.
Well...I think most of us were surprised that Harry did this. Especially will some of his past antics. He's always been supported and allegedly very indulged. Although it's likely why the RF is facing this today. A really sad side note.
 
To play devil’s advocate for a second, the royal family makes their personal business the world’s business...They can’t then expect full privacy when other significant events happen in their family that may be less flattering
Please tell Meghan Markle that. She won't shut up about wanting her privacy while simultaneously being royal and famous, not to mention putting herself out on Instagram and Netflix and Oprah.
 
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He's always been supported and allegedly very indulged. Although it's likely why the RF is facing this today.
Yes, he was spoiled imo. Overindulged first as the poor spare and then as the poor boy who lost his mother. Sometimes I feel like I'm the only person on Earth who doesn't feel sorry for this very wealthy and popular prince. I myself am mixed race and was singularly unimpressed by the Nazi uniform incident when it happened. Funny how Meghan has no issue with that...
 
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Please tell Meghan Markle that. She won't shut up about wanting her privacy while simultaneously being royal and famous.
That’s a really neat trick how you can delete 80% of what someone said to make their post appear to align with your own thinking! Had you left my words as they were, you would’ve seen I was actually making an argument opposite of how you tried to spin it. The royal family can’t broadcast their business all around town and then get upset when one of their own tries to set the record straight if they feel they’ve been misrepresented.
 

Yes, he was spoiled imo. Overindulged first as the poor spare and then as the poor boy who lost his mother. Sometimes I feel like the only person on Earth who doesn't feel sorry for this very wealthy and popular prince. I myself am mixed race and was singularly unimpressed by the Nazi uniform incident when it happened. Funny how Meghan has no issue with that...
And sadly the Queen is the one who overindulged him. Now he's thrown a tantrum and blown up her world. Yes that costume was really in bad form. No idea what he was thinking. Maybe Harry acts without thinking through the consequences. Sad situation.
 
That’s a really neat trick how you can delete 80% of what someone said to make their post appear to align with your own thinking! Had you left my words as they were, you would’ve seen I was actually making an argument opposite of how you tried to spin it. The royal family can’t broadcast their business all around town and then get upset when one of their own tries to set the record straight if they feel they’ve been misrepresented.
The public is interested and the RF feels obligated to share part of their lives. It doesn't mean one should provide every aspect of their private lives with the public. M&H know "you never complain or explain" is the rule. They pretty much were allowed to thrash the RF knowing they wouldn't respond. It's hitting below the belt and meant to serve one purpose....damage the Royal family for not giving into their demands. This is about the money. It's ALWAYS about the money.
 
That’s a really neat trick how you can delete 80% of what someone said to make their post appear to align with your own thinking! Had you left my words as they were, you would’ve seen I was actually making an argument opposite of how you tried to spin it. The royal family can’t broadcast their business all around town and then get upset when one of their own tries to set the record straight if they feel they’ve been misrepresented.
It isn't a trick. It's pointing out that Meghan herself has the attitude that you're accusing the royal family of having. In so many ways, she wants to have her cake and eat it, and this is one of those ways. She wants to be world famous, but never receive negative press. The working royals accept the fact that press coverage will sometimes be favorable and sometimes not, but you can't control the press. Meghan does not accept that.
 
Yes, please make Meghan the victim AGAIN. Everything is her fault. I just want her to cut the crap and own her actions. Stop making every problem in her life someone else's fault. Regarding the whole issue with whatever happened between her and Kate about the stupid flower girl dresses. She placed it all at Kate's feet - she was pure innocence in a bottle. It was more than likely BOTH of them having an issue. Why couldn't she say they were both at fault and could have handled it better which is the most likely scenario?

and again...none of that had to be made public and in normal families it would be kept quiet no matter how it transpired. You don't trash family publicly over one incident unless you're trying to create drama. You don't throw away family relationships over an incident with an in-law.
 
No what I'm saying is that in the UK its just known and understood that there are Royal Protocols that members of the Royal family have to follow, even if these Royal Protocols seem dumb. Its just known that being a member of the Royal Family you have to conform to centuries old traditions , that the British Aristocracy have some really old fashioned ways. Part of being a member of The Royal Family is that you accept their way of life, their rules, their protocols.

...and their money...

If you pay me millions of dollars every year, I will wear pantyhose every day. Just like a flight attendant -- who are required to wear pantyhose.
 
Yes, he was spoiled imo. Overindulged first as the poor spare and then as the poor boy who lost his mother. Sometimes I feel like the only person on Earth who doesn't feel sorry for this very wealthy and popular prince. I myself am mixed race and was singularly unimpressed by the Nazi uniform incident when it happened. Funny how Meghan has no issue with that...

The Invictus Games was a good idea. It gave vets something more to work toward in their recovery and that's a great thing for people who suddenly lose their career and aren't sure if they'll have another one. That's one thing I can credit Harry for, but that was the first.

So you're not the only person.
 
The public is interested and the RF feels obligated to share part of their lives. It doesn't mean one should provide every aspect of their private lives with the public. M&H know "you never complain or explain" is the rule. They pretty much were allowed to thrash the RF knowing they wouldn't respond. It's hitting below the belt and meant to serve one purpose....damage the Royal family for not giving into their demands. This is about the money. It's ALWAYS about the money.
The royal family did respond. They always have that option. If they choose not to respond, that’s on them.
It isn't a trick. It's pointing out that Meghan herself has the attitude that you're accusing the royal family of having. In so many ways, she wants to have her cake and eat it, and this is one of those ways. She wants to be world famous, but never receive negative press. The working royals accept the fact that press coverage will sometimes be favorable and sometimes not, but you can't control the press. Meghan does not accept that.
You’re still not understanding. The royal family puts other people’s business into the press, from the day of their birth for those unlucky enough to be born into it. Those people will occasionally want to use their own voices to speak for themselves. It’s my belief that they should have that right. If you’re not interested in hearing what they have to say, that’s fine. Don’t listen. But that doesn’t make them wrong for speaking for themselves.
 
The girls wearing tights is more of a practical thing. Stone churches ( like the one she wanted to put air fresheners in) are cold and usually have stone floors so tights would be more comfortable (why be cold for no reason) and if a child slipped and fell could hurt themselves.
 
It isn't a trick. It's pointing out that Meghan herself has the attitude that you're accusing the royal family of having. In so many ways, she wants to have her cake and eat it, and this is one of those ways. She wants to be world famous, but never receive negative press. The working royals accept the fact that press coverage will sometimes be favorable and sometimes not, but you can't control the press. Meghan does not accept that.
But you’re only coming after her for it when the RF is just as guilty. So either it’s either wrong or it’s not. You don’t get to cherry pick the members you don’t like.
 
The royal family did respond. They always have that option. If they choose not to respond, that’s on them.

You’re still not understanding. The royal family puts other people’s business into the press, from the day of their birth for those unlucky enough to be born into it. Those people will occasionally want to use their own voices to speak for themselves. It’s my belief that they should have that right. If you’re not interested in hearing what they have to say, that’s fine. Don’t listen. But that doesn’t make them wrong for speaking for themselves.
Well...but they didn't complain or explain. They don't give in depth responses not should they. MO

MM has this platform because of the RF. Now she's attacking them with a vengeance because she didn't get the money, titles and tiara. I feel sorry for the entire family. M&H threw a nuke and blew up their family. I have a lot of admiration for Queen Elizabeth, William and Catherine. Some seem to forget that William went through the same heartache Harry did.
 
To play devil’s advocate for a second, the royal family makes their personal business the world’s business. They announce their engagements and pregnancies, broadcast their weddings and funerals, display their newborns to the press for photo ops, and have the paparazzi accompany their kids to their first days of school. They can’t then expect full privacy when other significant events happen in their family that may be less flattering, like divorce, or sex scandals, or people stepping away from their roles. The public will be curious, and the royals involved may feel compelled to tell their side of things since it’s their reputation at stake. Those born into it didn’t ask to have that fame, the royal family did that to them, and occasionally someone will understandably feel the need to “set the record straight” on the world stage because their entire lives have played out on the world stage thanks to the royal family.
People in general announce weddings and pregnancies and so on. However they don’t usually announce the details of family squabbles to others. Harry seemed fine with what he was born into before his marriage but then I don’t actually know his thoughts and shouldn’t. If he has family issues then he should handle them with his family as any of us would.

I detest the paparazzi so they are of no interest to me if that matters. They are ridiculous but without a nosy public they wouldn’t even exist.
 
An interesting article on the accusation of racism
What a great article, thank you for sharing!

I meet so many people like him and we have wonderful conversations that remind me of this:

”We need to learn to talk about racism — real and perceived. For example, I believe many white business leaders in the UK do nothing to further the cause of racial diversity for the very reason that they are afraid to discuss it, in case they inadvertently cause offence.

That is why we must always concentrate on the context and intention of people’s comments before we judge them.

We should not feel afraid to address matters of race and skin colour — even if we make blunders — as long as our objective is benign.”


I am going to repost it in it’s entirety lest it’s message gets lost. Love this guy. :goodvibes

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/debate/...ord-Lieutenant-not-believe-royals-racist.html

SIR KENNETH OLISA: Why I, the Queen's black Lord Lieutenant, do not believe the royals are racist

One of the most contentious claims made in Meghan Markle’s interview with Oprah Winfrey this week was that one about race.

A member of the Royal Family is alleged to have raised questions or concerns about ‘how dark’ the skin of Meghan’s child might be.

And the uproar that ensued has been deafening, with the word ‘racist’ recurring in almost every news report.

But I would ask for a moment’s pause and reflection. Before we leap to the conclusion that this was a vulgar, racist question, we should recognise that we know neither the context nor the intent behind the supposed inquiry.

I’m drawing on first-hand experience here. My wife Julia and I were asked exactly the same question — in a spirit of benign interest — by my mother-in-law Muriel shortly before the first of our two daughters was born in 1980.

I should point out here that, like Meghan and Harry, I am black and Julia is white.

The Duke of Sussex and The Lord-Lieutenant of Greater London, Sir Kenneth Olisa, arrive at the Audi Sentebale Concert at Hampton Court Palace on June 11, 2019

The Duke of Sussex and The Lord-Lieutenant of Greater London, Sir Kenneth Olisa, arrive at the Audi Sentebale Concert at Hampton Court Palace on June 11, 2019

Resolve

My late mother-in-law, excited about the arrival of her first grandchild, was getting her knitting needles out and simply wanted to know what colour baby clothes would suit the newborn’s complexion.

She asked in much the same way that any of us might wonder: will the baby have her mother’s hair or her father’s nose? Absolutely no offence was intended or taken.

The context of that conversation was a loving family, its intent to resolve the question of buying wool — which goes to show that unless you know both context and intent of what people say, you must keep an open mind.

In light of this interview, I feel desperately sad that, after our collective response to Covid shone such a warm light on the British values of community, the nation is now in grave danger of being divided by the question of racism.

In 2015, Her Majesty The Queen appointed me as Her Lord-Lieutenant of Greater London — the first British-born non-white holder of this ancient post.

In that capacity I support the Queen and the Royal Family, helping them to build bridges, to connect people and organisations and enhance Londoners’ sense of belonging to an inclusive capital.

The Prince of Wales goes to shake the hand of Sir Kenneth before he changes to use a Namaste gesture, as he arrives at the annual Prince's Trust Awards 2020

The Prince of Wales goes to shake the hand of Sir Kenneth before he changes to use a Namaste gesture, as he arrives at the annual Prince's Trust Awards 2020

As a result, I have had the privilege of meeting all of the members of the Royal Family on many occasions — and I can confirm that they are charming and inclusive.

That is not just my perception — it is one shared by the many thousands of people whom I have seen react to the special ‘pixie dust’ which a royal visitor sprinkles over those they meet.

As head of the nation, the sovereign acts as a focus for national identity, unity and pride; she gives a sense of stability and continuity.

Her close links with, and affection for, the Commonwealth remind us of her affiliation to all her subjects, no matter what their colour or creed.

I was born in 1951, in a two-up, two-down in the poorest area of Nottingham, raised by my single white mother after my father — a Nigerian law student — returned to his native Lagos.

We had an outside loo and a tin bath, I had free school meals at my state school, but my mother instilled in me those British values of self-belief and hard work and I was fortunate to win a scholarship to Fitzwilliam College, Cambridge University.

What a shock! I remember thinking, as I sat down to my first candlelit banquet in a venerable wood-panelled room, that there was more silverware at my place setting than we had in our entire cutlery drawer at home. Alien though it was, I always felt welcomed by fellow students and dons alike.

Of course, growing up, I did encounter racism and prejudice. Remember this was the post-Windrush era when lodging houses barred their doors to ‘blacks and Irish’.

Queen Elizabeth II and Sir Kenneth at the ceremonial welcome at Horse Guards Parade for King Willem-Alexander of the Netherlands and Queen Maxima of the Netherlands in October 2018

Queen Elizabeth II and Sir Kenneth at the ceremonial welcome at Horse Guards Parade for King Willem-Alexander of the Netherlands and Queen Maxima of the Netherlands in October 2018

Divisions

My first girlfriend’s father was appalled that she was dating a black man and forbad her from seeing me (although he had never even met me!) — an injunction we blithely ignored.

So, in my lifetime our attitudes to race have come a long way, and this is encapsulated for me in two images from last year.

Consider first Patrick Hutchinson, the British Black Lives Matter protester who, during clashes with a far-Right white activist, saved a man from being beaten by a mob of angry black youths before handing him safely over to the police.

The image of Mr Hutchinson carrying his would-be assailant to safety abides, a spectacular demonstration of hope for a future in which humanity supersedes racial divisions.

Another powerful image of our time comes from Her Majesty’s commemoration of the Centenary of the Tomb of the Unknown Warrior in Westminster Abbey.

Because of lockdown, the Queen was accompanied only by her Equerry.

The photo shows her standing in silent contemplation as Major Nana Kofi Twumasi-Ankrah, who was born in Ghana, knelt to lay a wreath beside the tomb. Duty and inclusion exemplified in sacred surroundings.

We have made progress since the day that my father arrived from Lagos.

But I am the first to concede that although our direction of travel has been so positive, we have a long way to go. And, as Black Lives Matter reminded us, we need to pick up speed.


Sir Kenneth arrives for a service at Westminster Abbey in London in 2019 to mark 750 years since Edward the Confessor's original church was rebuilt under the reign of King Henry III

Sir Kenneth arrives for a service at Westminster Abbey in London in 2019 to mark 750 years since Edward the Confessor's original church was rebuilt under the reign of King Henry III

To do that we need to learn to talk about racism — real and perceived. For example, I believe many white business leaders in the UK do nothing to further the cause of racial diversity for the very reason that they are afraid to discuss it, in case they inadvertently cause offence.

That is why we must always concentrate on the context and intention of people’s comments before we judge them.

We should not feel afraid to address matters of race and skin colour — even if we make blunders — as long as our objective is benign.

Clumsy

I think back to a military dinner I attended as Lord-Lieutenant when my co-host told me he had ‘quite recently’ come to the conclusion that Enoch Powell’s Rivers Of Blood speech was wrong!

I could have reacted in two ways: either been deeply hurt that he had ever believed it contained a truth, or accepted it as a — somewhat clumsy — attempt to make me feel welcome at a gathering where I was the only person of colour.

I chose to do the latter. I did not take offence. And this, I believe, is the way forward.

In the course of my career as a businessman and philanthropist, I have learned not to be affronted by well-meant errors wherever they occur.

Actually, when I was in Nigeria for a business meeting recently, I was amused when a hotel check-out clerk — who did not raise her head from her keyboard — said: ‘You can’t be called Olisa. That’s a

Nigerian name and you’re a white Englishman.’


Oprah With Meghan And Harry. In my years of working closely with the Royal Family I have never once encountered the slightest hint of racism

I assured her, however, that my father was Nigerian and then asked her about her own name — Blessing — on her badge. ‘Aha!’ I said, ‘Blessing is an English name, but you’re obviously Nigerian. Don’t you have a Nigerian name?’

‘Yes,’ she said, ‘it’s Ngozi.’ ‘And what is that in English,’ I asked, feeling pleased with myself. ‘Blessing,’ she replied.

We had both fallen into the trap of making glib assumptions. But were either of us being racist? No. Of course not.

And I don’t have to go to Africa to discover this truth. Before lockdown, Julia and I were on holiday and encountered a chap handing out leaflets at an ecclesiastical building. He seemed mildly incredulous when my wife told him that I was Lord-Lieutenant of London.

‘Oh, which borough?’ he asked; the unspoken sub-text being that I — a black man — could not hold a particularly elevated title.

So when Julia explained that my role encompassed all the boroughs he seemed embarrassed.

Later, as we were leaving, he rushed over to tell me: ‘Sir, I’ve read all about you in the Court Circular.’ He seemed to think an apology was necessary. But really I didn’t mind one whit.

His error was a benevolent one. He was kind and civilised. And I still believe that, by and large, our nation is, too. Certainly, we take our lead from our monarch — and indeed all the Royal Family — who remain a shining example of probity, inclusivity and decency.

In my years of working closely with them I have never once encountered the slightest hint of racism. Indeed, in all they do, they strive to repair rifts, not create them.

I do hope that when we contemplate recent events, we will remind ourselves of what is wonderful about our nation, recognise the strength of our collective values, acknowledge how far we have come and then press the accelerator pedal to speed up the process of celebrating our talents.
 
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