Is 47 Too Old To Become A Father? Update In Post #155

[DaisyJ]

So those of you who say 47 is too old, where is your cutoff? My mom and dad were both 41 when I was born, and my DH was 40 when our youngest was born. I don't think 47, or 57, would be too old. Heck, my mom is still alive at 96.

For me personally, 40+ is the cut off.

 

[mi*vida*loca]

I think it's too old. I want to be an active participating grandparent. Less chance of that if I'm 65 when my kid graduates high school.

 

[FINFAN]

You passed on joining the George Clooney club? lol.....

 

[rastahomie]

@rastahomie needs to move to Canada next year

Missouri is coming along, just much more slowly.

 

[ronandannette]

I think it's too old. I want to be an active participating grandparent. Less chance of that if I'm 65 when my kid graduates high school.

My own DMom was 50 when I was born and 80 when our DS arrived. She was active and vibrant and had a great, close relationship with him. She died 6 months ago at the ripe old age of 99. We couldn't have asked for better and thank God every day that she was in our lives. (Interestingly, my DDad was 13 years younger than her and was 36 when I was born. He died 15 years before she did, when my son was 4 - he has only a vague recollection of his Grandpa.)

 

[StaciaRae]

Another vote for yes. Dh was 39 when our youngest was born. He's now 44 with almost 5 and 7 yr olds. It's exhausting, we barely have the energy to keep them entertained. It's awesome and wonderful, but no way can I imagine having more at our age. I will add though that in our kids school, there are many other parents our age, we aren't a lot older than the other parents - like we thought we'd be.

 

[mummabear]

It's not what I would have chosen for me personally (having kids so late, I was 25 when our 1st was born), but had we been unable to have kids and had an opportunity later in life, I'm sure I would grab it with both hands.

 

[melanielll]

I say too old. Just because women have well publicized risks associated with being older parents does not mean that men do not have risks. The effects of old eggs on babies are more dramatic, but sperm produced by older men are not great. Also - as an older person - I have less energy and less patience than I did when I was younger. I have several friends who are rearing their grandchildren. They are far less into it than they were when they were younger parents.

 

[indimom]

Yes, but chances are still pretty slim of that happening. I know people who died of cancer in their 30's, so maybe no one over 30 should have kids either.

I actually didn't say don't do it. I do know older parents who are doing just fine.
I was just responding to the idea that if you are a healthy 40 yo, you will be just great at 50, 58, 60, 62, so go for it... It just felt a little to gung ho to me, when health issues do increase with age...even when you are fit, active and have lived a healthy lifestyle.
Age itself is a risk factor for many diseases, and it's not a risk factor you can change.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

If YOU think you're too old to be a father, as you posted, you're too old to be a father.

This. Many people are "youthful" even when they are older. I would say dh and I do not fall into that category. We do have our own kids. I am 52 and my kids are 26 and 20.

 

[Hikergirl]

So those of you who say 47 is too old, where is your cutoff? My mom and dad were both 41 when I was born, and my DH was 40 when our youngest was born. I don't think 47, or 57, would be too old. Heck, my mom is still alive at 96.

My cutoff was 30.

 

[NAB]

We sure all don't live to be 90 . It would be exhausting, it is exhausting for me now that I have teens and we are only 54...lol

 

[anniemae]

It's such a personal question, and nobody can answer that except for you. We are all on different paths, have different goals, different finances, different lifestyles etc. I know people who were stable and ready to be parents in their 20's. I also know people who were nowhere near close to being ready to having kids in their 30's. I know folks who became parents in their mid to late 40's and on and on. What is right for one is not right for another, nobody can tell you if 47 is too old for YOU to be a parent. May be too old for one person, but just the right time for another.

 

[Owlpost23]

Yes,you're too old.My Mima had my mother at age 42,and my mother HATED the fact that her mother looked like her grandmother.It's not fair to the child.Best friend's father-same thing.

 

[wenrob]

Yes,you're too old.My Mima had my mother at age 42,and my mother HATED the fact that her mother looked like her grandmother.It's not fair to the child.Best friend's father-same thing.

Not fair to the child? You mean the one who wouldn't even exist? What a load of hooey.

 

[Happyinwonerland]

I know a guy who is 65, dating a 25 year old, talking about maybe trying for a baby... That, IMO, is too old. late 40's is pushing it.

 

[mombrontrent]

I had my kids young, I was 19, 21 and 26 when the youngest was born. My Dh is 5 years older then me so he was 31 when she was born. We both thought he was to old to have another but looking back I find that funny. Of course he wasn't to old!

The downside to having kids when we were so young was we were not as financially secure as we are now. We are 42 and 36 now and our kids are 17, 14 and 10. Even though we never truly struggled we have much more disposable income now then we did 10-15 years ago. Plus with the older two especially I never felt I truly fit in with other parents at the school who were mostly a good 10+ years older then me.

On the upside we had a lot of energy and so did our parents who all became grandparents at the ages of 42-43. My mother would often get mistaken for my sons mother when he was a baby and she was out with him. By the time our youngest graduates high school I will still only be 43 and Dh 49 and hopefully will be able to be a young and healthy grandparent one day!

I couldn't imagine just starting a family right now but I know plenty of people do. If I never had kids when I was younger I would surly start a family now though.

 

[mom2rtk]

The age issue ultimately comes down to a very individual decision. I do think those questioning it at age 47 are probably doing so for a sound reason. It takes a lot of energy and money to raise a child. But there's absolutely no reason to automatically call 47 too old to become a parent.

Discounting it because you won't be a young grandparent just seems strange to me. It's not about you. It's about a child having a loving family. Lots of kids don't have any grandparent at all.

A lot of posters here say the OP won't even seem old, but that's going to vary a LOT depending on where the OP lives. I live in an older area of town that's very blue collar. Teen moms are far more common here than 40 year old moms. I didn't have my first of 3 until I was 30 and was the oldest mom in most of my kids' classes.

 

[mom2rtk]

I know a guy who is 65, dating a 25 year old, talking about maybe trying for a baby... That, IMO, is too old. late 40's is pushing it.

I don't have a hard and fast cutoff. But I do think 40 is fine. And I think 65 is too old. Kids deserve active and engaged parents.

 

[Soldier's*Sweeties]

Not fair to the child? You mean the one who wouldn't even exist? What a load of hooey.

Well... I hated the fact that everyone thought my dad was my boyfriend when I was teen because he was young...
Sorry. I meant to quote the poster you were responding to.