Is 47 Too Old To Become A Father? Update In Post #155

[amberpi]

Not too old at all. In my circles, people have their first child mid-late thirties, and last can be into 50s. Just think, you'll have money for nannies and private schools and not have to sweat! Good luck!!!

 

[amberpi]

Honestly, I'm befuddled about people thinking that's old. I've dated some men that age, they were fit and playing tennis 5-7 times a week and have small children. My folks are in their 60s (dad plays 9x a week and mom 7) and could run laps around a ton of people I see in public that are 30 years younger, ie, my age, its all about how well you take care of yourself.

Also, I can't imagine the career years that one would be distracted by kids if you have them young while trying to climb the ladder, travel, etc. Its truly a matter of circumstance. It would not even raise an eyebrow in my world.

Do it! If it'd make ya'll happy! Why not?

 

[antmaril]

My brother-in-law became a father for the first time at age 54. He is a wonderful dad to his now nine year old daughter! You are not too old.

 

[Kellykins1218]

Nope, lots of parents with little ones your age. I work at school and amazed at how few "young" parents there are.

 

[javeyloveschelsi]

No, I don't think you are too old, however, I will add that I wouldn't want to start over at that age, but that may be because DH and I got married at 19 and 4 weeks after the honeymoon we found out we were expecting #1, so we haven't had a chance for it to just be "us". We just had #4 (we are now 30, so by the time he leaves, that is about your age and I will be ready for it to be "our time"--and let's face it, I'm tired at this point haha.) That being said, I know several people who are just starting and they love it. I also have a friend who got pregnant in high school and her aunt and uncle who were about your age adopted the baby and they see each other all the time, nothing weird or awkward about it. My friend is now much older, has gotten married, and has another child with her husband and her daughter that her aunt and uncle adopted is very close with both my friend and her new half sister. I'm not sure if they consider them "sisters" or more so "cousins". You will know whether or not it is right to adopt the baby-- if that becomes an option.

 

[Aliceacc]

We adopted my son when I was 40, and gave birth to my daughter's when I wa 42 and 45 respectively.

we waited a long time for these kids and I love them with all my heart.

I say go for it.

 

[Daniela Rose]

Def not too old to become a father. People have kids much later than even 47. I know someone who just had twins and his grandkids are older than his kids.

My issue would be the family connection.

 

[godders]

I know someone who was 64 when he had his youngest child....

 

[Vijoge]

Mrs. Homie's aunt, "June," has a daughter, "Bess," who is my age. Bess has two daughters, a 23-year-old and "Heather," a 19-year-old. Heather is "in trouble," as the old saying goes, thanks to a failure in her birth control.

This bit of information has pricked Mrs. Homie's mom's ears, as she's been hoping for 15 years (ever since we found out we couldn't have kids) that one of us would have a teenage relative get in trouble. Now that time is here.

Even if Heather decides to put the baby up for adoption, which is far from a forgone conclusion, I don't think Mrs. Homie and I are going to pursue it. For one thing, the baby would be Heather's, at least biologically, and though she lives three states away she's still family and we still see her a few times a year. How awkward will Christmas dinner be? Also, the baby would be simultaneously be June's grandchild biologically and MIL's legally, and we see June like all the time, meaning the awkwardness would be almost daily.

Second, not to put too fine a point on it, but I'm way too old to become a dad for the first time, IMO. Most guys my age are either parents of teens or parents of college kids; a few guys I went to college with are already grandparents. We'd be the oldest parents of the child's peer group by a decade; I'd be 65 when the child finished high school. That's just too old.

What say you, DISers? Am I too old to become a dad?

If there's any doubt in your mind, don't adopt this baby. All of DIS might say you're not too old but if you think you are then don't even consider it.

 

[bcla]

I thought I got into the parenthood business late. I'm about your age and my kid is 6. I've heard about some becoming parents again in their 60s or 70s.

However, I can't say what first time parenthood might be like at that age.

 

[abdmom]

I'm going to go with too old. I had my third child when I was 41, almost 42. DH was younger than me. He died when the baby was 5 months old. He was very healthy, until he wasn't. It's not until you are widowed that you realize how many others are widowed young too. A 47 year old male has about a 15% chance of dying by the time he's 65. For a female, it's about 9%.

It's not the 3 am feedings that do you in, it's the 11pm, 1 am and 5 am feedings that accompany the 3 am feedings that will do you in.

 

[ronandannette]

Not too old at all. In my circles, people have their first child mid-late thirties, and last can be into 50s. Just think, you'll have money for nannies and private schools and not have to sweat! Good luck!!!

Bizarre comment - you have no idea about the OP's financial situation or whether or not they'd want the kid raised by a nanny and educated in private school.

@rastahomie - your age isn't really the issue. You don't seem too compelled towards parenthood in general and adverse to this situation in specific. You shouldn't do it unless you and the Mrs. are totally all in.

 

[Vijoge]

It's not the 3 am feedings that do you in, it's the 11pm, 1 am and 5 am feedings that accompany the 3 am feedings that will do you in.

I agree. My youngest ate every 2 1/2 hours around the clock until he was nine months old. I would get up, feed him, change him, put him back to bed, and by the time I fell back asleep he was ready to eat again. He's 28 and I not only still remember, I remind him of this pretty frequently. He OWES me!

 

[amberpi]

Bizarre comment - you have no idea about the OP's financial situation or whether or not they'd want the kid raised by a nanny and educated in private school.

@rastahomie - your age isn't really the issue. You don't seem too compelled towards parenthood in general and adverse to this situation in specific. You shouldn't do it unless you and he Mrs. are totally all in.

Sorry if that came off poorly, I was just thinking of all the opportunities my friends have with their kids. I was attempting for encouraging, not bizarre. Sorry.

 

[disneychrista]

Honestly, since you feel you are too old then that is your answer.

Mid-40's is too old for ME to be a parent of a baby.

 

[Bilberry]

I don't believe 47 is to old to raise a child. I've known a few guys that had children in the their 40s and 50s. They have turned out to be good situations.

Thinking on my family history, I remember stumbling upon a family secrete. As best as I can piece the puzzle together, a great great grandmother had an older sister. The oldest sister's daughter became pregnant by mistake. To help out, the niece was sent to live on my great great grandmother's remote farm. She gave birth. The daughter born was then raised by my great great grandmother and her husband as their own. She was in her early 40s at the time. He might have been in his 50s by then. I'm pretty sure he was in his 50s but don't remember.

Great grandma's situation was a little different from yours in that she had 12 children of her own. Those at home pitched in to help raise the new baby sister.

The "adopted" family member was loved by all. She became good friends with her mother later in life. The two vacationed frequently together.

The "adopted" daughter passed away a couple years ago in her 90s, having lived in my opinion a good life.

 

[Pacolovestacos]

Hugh Hefner had two kids at ages 64 and 65. So I'd say 47 isn't that old in comparison.

 

[DebbieB]

I don't think it's so much age as much as are you set in your lifestyle? If you adopt this baby, everything you do will have to consider him/her.

 

[Soldier's*Sweeties]

Wait... Am I the only one a little bothered that his wife was waiting for a teen in their family to "get into trouble"?

 

[Soldier's*Sweeties]

Sorry if that came off poorly, I was just thinking of all the opportunities my friends have with their kids. I was attempting for encouraging, not bizarre. Sorry.

I read it that way at first too, but I got what you're saying.