Information on Autism for angry line-waiters

[ratlenhum]

The other rude/odd comment that we commonly get when we explain her ASD is "but she is so cute." What exactly does that mean.

I can tell you what that means if you can tell me what "autistic" looks like.

I usually get "but he doesn't look autistic."

First off, what does autistic look like? Obviously he looks "something" because you've been staring, so what is that "something" that made you stare?

 

[dclfun]

It's not just those with invisible disabilities who get the stares. I use a power wheelchair and SD- and people quite often make comments that boil my blood. For instance " you're killing that dog!", "oh....look at that poor dog". Or I am constantly asked if someone can pet my SD, what she does for me, etc. When people say the "oh poor dog" I sometimes respond with "oh rude human". I'm so tired of it. It used to really bother my kids as we were trying to enjoy ourselves without intrusion just like everyone else. Skye ( my SD) usually walks with her head down to avoid eye contact with people which is part of her training- she is focused on me vs. others. People mistake that with her being tired, depressed, or bored and make comments about it. Sometimes when people ask if she bites, I do feel like saying, " no, but I do!". Still, I'm not by nature a rude person so I try to be tolerant and friendly. My "oh rude human" comment has only been made a few times to particularly obnoxious people who voice their "poor dog" comment as if they had a megaphone. I've been known to turn my chair around to follow them just so I can let them know how rude they've been but then I'm left feeling miserable all day long. One thing I think we can all agree on- our hearts hurt sometimes by comments made by others and it's hard to let those comments slide even if we know we should.---Kathy

 

[Disneylvr]

Unfortunately we have to go during peak season (spring break) and make use of the GAC more often although we do try to use Fast Pass as much as possible and we do try to arrive early. DD (age 7) has moderate to severe autism and we make use of a special needs stroller (mostly for it 's calming effect and the fact that she tends to elope). We also bring or buy her fidget toys where we cannot avoid lines. She loves those Mickey or Princess spinning toys so she usually gets one or two each trip as her souvenir. When DD has had enough, we go back to the resort immediately.

We have received some of those "looks" when we make use of the GAC but luckily no one has ever made a comment to us. I know in our case DD's autism/disability is more apparent and less hidden than most kids on the spectrum. We did bring cards with us one trip but didn't find them necessary but I can sure see how they could be.

 

[mickey&minniealways]

Go to your local craft store and get one of those kits that lets you decorate your own pins or badges. Put a small picture of childs favorite disney character on it and the diagnosis. It is a whole lot easier than handing out cards and won't be considered as soliciting. IF you go with a badge you can hang it to the end of a lanyard if your child is willing to wear one. There is also the added benefit of them being able to pick out pins. I do this with DD15, we also put our cell phone #'s on the badge at the end of the lanyard so if she gets seperated we can be located easily. Alot of CM's when they see the diagnosis on the badge will then give her a pin to go on her lanyard. We are now working on our second one.

 

[roomthreeseventeen]

Thought from a non-parent, but my youngest cousin (14) has Asperger's. Sometimes the stare means "I think your kid is cute, and you or your kid or both of you could use a smile from a stranger".

 

[NDdisney]

We will be going for our 5th year in a row with my 12 yr old daughter with Autism, ADHD, Touretts, Bi-polar, and she also has Saethre-Chotzens syndrom which effects her bone growth & muscle formation. We have gotten a GAC for her each time, and use it only when necessary. We have gotten plenty of angry looks when she, even though she has So many problems, looks fairly normal. We did talk to a CM about feeling a little guilty using it - especially when the sign says a 2 hr. wait, and he, along with several disney CM's said DONT. Use it because this is one place where children with special needs finally get their chance to do something that the average peer can't. - that doesn't happen anywhere else in life, so once a year she gets to be the queen of the park. We do limit it - but even some CM's said if it is something she really likes, do it again right away. This year she has plans to ride Tower of Terror 13 times in one day. The CM's there encouraged her to try, and after a while, people in line cheered her on (rare exception) but dinner plans put off that goal until next year. If I hear a negetive remark, I usually tell my daughter " I think that person needs to go see Mickey for a Hug.

 

[LockShockBarrel]

Disney wouldn't have put the GAC in place if they didn't want people to use it. Anyone who gives you a look or makes a comment..or even a cranky CM...can go..well you know

 

[JohnnySharp2]

Disney wouldn't have put the GAC in place if they didn't want people to use it. Anyone who gives you a look or makes a comment..or even a cranky CM...can go..well you know

Exactly it's there to help us all. I think this is a great thread and something that rings true for many of us, ultimatley though we just have to get on with it and concentrate on what's best for our child.

The important thing is we do not let anything spoil our enjoyment.

 

[Kiann3]

We are going Dec 3-13th. We have a son with autism that will turn 18 in October. How do we go about getting a pass? He does fine with a 30 min wait however more than that and he starts to get distracted and well...

He also looks typical and most people are amazed when they hear his diagnosis, then again at least the thousands we spent on therapy did work. However at DL we have lucked out and never had long lines thanks to fast passes. I just would rather have the pass so that incase he can not tolerate the lines we could by pass some of the wait. At DL they do not offer anything and I was even once told he did not appear to have any problems. Sighhh..... Well at least we never had problems and I hope this trip is the same.

 

[bookwormde]

Here is a link to the thread at the top of the page that Sue has put together with tons of information, post 6 has the information about the GAC

http://www.disboards.com/showthread.php?t=595713

bookwormde

 

[KPeveler]

We are going Dec 3-13th. We have a son with autism that will turn 18 in October. How do we go about getting a pass? He does fine with a 30 min wait however more than that and he starts to get distracted and well...

He also looks typical and most people are amazed when they hear his diagnosis, then again at least the thousands we spent on therapy did work. However at DL we have lucked out and never had long lines thanks to fast passes. I just would rather have the pass so that incase he can not tolerate the lines we could by pass some of the wait. At DL they do not offer anything and I was even once told he did not appear to have any problems. Sighhh..... Well at least we never had problems and I hope this trip is the same.

The FAQs does have a good summary of the GAC and what it does.

DL does have a GAC and I know some people with autism have found it has accommodations which have helped them greatly. I would speak to a different CM next time. If a CM said he "looked fine" I would immediately ask to speak to the supervisor - sounds like someone needs a little retraining!

The GAC is not intended to shorten wait times, and it says it right on the card. Some people have reported shortened wait times in some experiences, but sometimes the wait is even longer. Last time I went on Jungle Cruise, my needs had me waiting in one particular place, and I waited 45 minutes. The standby time was 10 minutes. I once waiting an hour for BTMRR and the standby was 20.

Basically it evens out in the end, but I just wanted you to be aware that a GAC would not act as an "automatic Fastpass," and that it may be handled differently each time you approach a ride depending on the time of day, how many people have gone on recently, how many people with disabilities are waiting, the length of the standby line, etc. Often if there are Fastpasses available, a CM will request you get FPs (if the time is at all close).

Just wanted to give you a heads up! A GAC can be a lifesaver for many families, but some descriptions give people unrealistic expectations, which can ruin touring plans!

 

[LockShockBarrel]

Precisely, it doesn't matter if someone "looks fine". No one can look at me and see my insulin resistance, my PCOS, my depression, my fainting condition. They can't look at anyone else and say he's autistic, she has a back problem, etc. Even the "seems fine" thing doesn't fly.

 

[Nik's Mom]

We are going Dec 3-13th. We have a son with autism that will turn 18 in October. How do we go about getting a pass? He does fine with a 30 min wait however more than that and he starts to get distracted and well...

He also looks typical and most people are amazed when they hear his diagnosis, then again at least the thousands we spent on therapy did work. However at DL we have lucked out and never had long lines thanks to fast passes. I just would rather have the pass so that incase he can not tolerate the lines we could by pass some of the wait. At DL they do not offer anything and I was even once told he did not appear to have any problems. Sighhh..... Well at least we never had problems and I hope this trip is the same.

DL definitely has a GAC. We had DL annual passes for many years and can tell you for sure that it does exist. We did have trouble getting a GAC 2 times. I should have asked to speak to a manager, but it was in the very beginning of ds being diagnosed and I just didn't want any more attention drawn to the situation. Now, after many years, it's a different story.

When you ask for the GAC, be clear about what your son's needs are. Don't beat around the bush. If you get to the parks early and have a good touring plan, you will probably find that the GAC isn't always needed. But it's good to have just in case. Have fun at WDW!

 

[sharadoc]

We have never had a comment or anything from people when we use our GAC for our DS. He has a VERY difficult time waiting with a lot of people and can even freak out when he's in the "fast" line. We had a terrible time with him on Soarin' this past trip, so we will avoid it if it's not first or last in the morning.

We have had total meltdown in the middle of Tomorrowland moments, too. I don't care what other people think. Try not to let it bring you down. We have enough to deal with in our everyday lives without worrying about other people's opinions.

My DS is 15 so I've got more experience "dealing" - the older they get the more obviously disabled they are to outsiders. Perhaps that's why we don't get comments or dirty looks anymore

 

[GraceLuvsWDW]

Do you know if they make a card like that for Sensory Processing Disorder? My DGD4 was recently diagnosed with SPD and we are making a trip to DW at the end of July. She is a sensory seeker so she tends to move (swing on chains, twirl, jump) a lot waiting in lines and others just stare at us like we can't make her mind. We usually try and hold her and contain her and that usually results in meltdowns. We will be getting a GAC for the first time to use with her but I thought it would be neat to be able to hand something to those that stare at us.

Here is a link to a very good SPD sheet. I used to give it to all my daughter's teachers. Hope it's ok to post a link

http://www.spdfoundation.net/flyer_docs/Do_you_know_me.pdf

 

[Minnie Mommy Mouse]

This is such a tough subject because I don't think any of us want to be considered line jumpers. What wouldn't anyone here give to have a healthy child that did not need assistance!!! That is what rude people fail to understand. We with special children work day in and day out to provide them with every opportunity to lead the most normal life they can. We spend a fortune over their life time paying for every therapy that might help, seeing doctors, trying special diets, managing IEPs, and praying every night that maybe someday they might be able to have a friend, hold a job or live with some independence. For us, giving them a trip to WDW is giving them a chance to get a break from all the extra things they have to do EVERY DAY just to try and keep up with the world around them, a chance to simply be a child and enjoy childhood wonders. Why should we feel ashamed for trying to help them have the best experience possible at WDW??? Isn't that what EVERY parent does that goes there?

I have 2 boys with ASD. Josh is 11, has aspergers and no major issues. Aidan is 9 1/2, has moderate ASD and we get the GAC for him. We have been taking the boys since Aidan was 2 1/2 years old, shortly after he was diagnosed. I used to worry so much about what people would think. I'd make excuses, and clarify to anyone who would listen that my child had ASD. Then, a mom with an adult child made a comment on a support group list that some of us newbies needed to toughen up, get a thick skin, and consider that it was disrespectful to our children to "explain" them to others. We should not have to offer excuses to any one, but be grateful that our children are able, bright, and capable of more than we ever imagined. She also pointed out that even though our children's verbal abilities differ, they hear us talking about them, describing them to others, so we should always be respectful of their feelings and aware that they are listening. It really changed my perspective and I realized I was "explaining" more because I cared about what people thought of me, because Aidan could care less what they thought about him! He does care what I think though.

Funny think is that when I quit explaining, people quit asking. Now they just assume we have a pass because I'm over weight which is a whole different form of prejudice. Same nasty looks though LOL.

Hold your head high and be proud of all your child has accomplished in spite of not having been dealt the perfect hand. And pat yourself on the back for all you've done to help him become who he is today and who he will be tomorrow.

Blessings!

 

[mickey&minniealways]

Unfortunatley handing something out can be considered solicitation. Buy a lanyard. You know the ones you put the trading pins on. If you let her pick out a few pins she will spend time with that and most cm love to talk about their pins with the kids. Then buy a luggage tag or badge on the end of the lanyard. Write the diagnosis on it. Explaining what extra steps seed to be taken to make life easier. I also write on the take you can ask questions. ( I am trying to word it so that it encompases more.) please feel free to add. I add the part about the questions because I find if I can start a dialog about the situation and even get one person to understand that there are many different dissabilities and many are not obvious. Maybe they will be more understanding the next time weather it is my child or not.

 

[kaffinito]

We are going Dec 3-13th. We have a son with autism that will turn 18 in October. How do we go about getting a pass? He does fine with a 30 min wait however more than that and he starts to get distracted and well...

He also looks typical and most people are amazed when they hear his diagnosis, then again at least the thousands we spent on therapy did work.

I also have an ASD son who will turn 18 during our August trip. He does need the GAC sometimes, but I told him that at his age, if he feels he really can't handle himself, then he has to go and get a GAC for himself.

My youngest no longer needs a GAC at all anymore (whew!) so I am very fortunate there. The oldest boy does elicit some comments at times, he's not as far along as I would have hoped by now, but the youngest can "pass" as normal. So I know what you mean about people being amazed by your sons diagnosis!

 

[LockShockBarrel]

The more I read this post, the more ridiculous I think that literally having to label your child is. I know its been said but seriously, its just not worth it. No one with a disability or a children with a disability or condition or even a wart owes an explaination to anyone else. I understand that some people want to educate others on whatever issue they or their child may have, or that the stares and comments are just too much, but the way I see it, this can be making things worse. If a kid freaks out in the middle of Main St, who cares if the people walking by think "He's misbehaving" or if they stop to consider "Oh maybe he has autism.." they don't know for sure, and they don't NEED to know. Nobody NEEDS to know why you're in a wheelchair, why your child can't talk, why my hair is black, why you're wearing sandals but your husband is wearing sneakers. No one owes anything to the starers or the commenters. Do we go up to a couple with dark hair whose child is blonde and ask them "Why's she a blonde? Did you cheat on your husband? Did you dye her hair?" or stand back and make comments like that. I know the explainations or awareness pins and shirts are done with the best intentions, and I respect anyone who has the patience to want to educate or make someone else aware of autism, diabetes, sensory disorders and whatnot but I think at some point you do need to just in a sense grow a thicker skin and learn to ignore the ignorance.

 

[Minnie Mommy Mouse]

Do we go up to a couple with dark hair whose child is blonde and ask them "Why's she a blonde? Did you cheat on your husband? Did you dye her hair?" or stand back and make comments like that. :

LOL, you would be suprised at just what people will ask! My husband and I have dark hair, and our first son was born with SCREAMING red hair. Orange, actually, You would not believe the questions, comments, and looks we got. I got so tired of it, I actually did dye my hair red I used to be a wuss back then. When our second son was born and they announced "it's a boy," my first question was "what color is his hair?" I was thrilled when they said red! It took some heat off me

I agree with you. For some reason, people feel they have a right to know things that are totally none of their business these days. I'm done assuming and explaining. I just try to be kind to every one I meet because we all are dealing with something. Many times at WDW, I have seen other kids that I am 99% sure have autism, but I never ask. I never interrupt a meltdown mind you (been there, done that) but I just smile, or if I get the chance try to talk to them or the parents and ask if they are having a good time. I don't do it to be nosy, I do it because I wish more people would take the time to try and engage my son. He's a cool kid. You never know what he'll say! Sometimes he might not answer, he used to not answer at all, but more and more he does. It takes understanding and people willing to take the time to say hello to help special kids feel they do have a place in the world around them.