In Search of My Body - Not the One I Ate, VOL 8...It's Never Too Late To Start Again!

[HockeyKat]

Good for you Kat. I don't know when I stopped (well probably when the weigh loss slowed to a crawl). But thank God I realized I've stopped eating consciously.

Okay question. Ready? Is that a mice side effect?

 

[lisaviolet]

 

[lisaviolet]

OMG. My eyes are so bad. I can't even see if I typed nice or mice? Lord.

 

[AKASnowWhite]

A do over. Most of my weight is from a do over.

I was able to channel my inner-Lisa at lunch today. Bite, chew, swallow, wait, sip water, wait, bite, chew, swallow, wait, wait, sip water, wait, wait...I really do think it made a difference!

OMG. My eyes are so bad. I can't even see if I typed nice or mice? Lord.

MICE. Took me a moment to catch on.

sipping green tea because instead of having just a few chocolate chips earlier, I had a fist full. 3 points worth and here's the kicker. If I had simply employed Lisa's chew/swallow/wait method I never would have eaten all those little buggars. Lesson learned. I hope

 

[SeptemberGirl]

Holy He!!. That was a lot to catch up on.

Food. I eat it. Not slowly and with purpose. I shove it in and head out. I'm sure you're all much better than me.

Kelly - job prospects? Life on the dole? How's it going, chica?

E - Kelly's earring. HOMG.

Lisa - How was Jean's birthday?

Jo - awesome on the run!!!

Meg - awesome on the loss!!!

Paula - did you weigh in?

Work is kinda stressful. New employee still very very eh. I spend half my day documenting the stuff she messes up.

Lost 1lbs this week - feel that's huge and awesome.

Major storm coming. Must go run for two hours. Catch you later!!!!!


xoxo!

 

[AKASnowWhite]

Lost 1lbs this week - feel that's huge and awesome.

Nice job!


Paula. Where are you? Today is Tuesday. Did I miss a Monday edition of the Paula Report?

 

[3DisneyKids]

Great job on the loss, Liz!

And by the way, Liz is texting me right now...from the TM! WHILE she is doing her 9 miles. HI LAR IOUS. She is 4 miles in right now and powering through because she is worried that the gym is going to close due to a storm.

16 miles on the bike done....nice and easy. No pain.

 

[poppinspal]

E- I'm glad things went well at the doctors. The hole should close up relatively quickly. I love the Jordan's furniture in Reading, it's about 20 minutes from my house. You going to brave the snow to come down tomorrow?

Kat- I'm a super slow eater, I tend to always be the last one sitting at the dinner table. In fact there have been more then a few times everyone got up not realizing I was still eating.

Liz- Hey a pound is great! Great job!

Lisa- I've been really looking forward to the Olympics. I obviously love watching the hockey but I really enjoy watching many of the sports. I think the mascot is kind of cute, I like it.

My work is closing at one tomorrow due to this impending snow storm. I typically put together some sort of Valentines gift for my friends so I'm going to use my extra time to do that. I'm excited!

And I just need someone to explain to me how I can be kicking butt with workouts and weight loss, even going back to school but I cannot make myself walk away from guys who don't deserve me. I have confidence back, what is wrong with me? There's a reason I pushed a guy from my life but a few sweet words and he's back in. Ugh I'm fighting a mental battle with myself about this. Sorry I had to share.

 

[goofyfan-12]

Nice job!


Paula. Where are you? Today is Tuesday. Did I miss a Monday edition of the Paula Report?

I am hiding... I gained 2.8 freaking pounds. That is the fourth week in a row of gains and I am up to 5 pounds at this point.

I am behind worried at this point. I feel so out of control that all I wanted to do was cry at my appointment. I spent way too much time and effort to lose those 80 pounds that I am at a total loss as to why I feel like I am throwing it all away at this point. For whatever reason I just keep shoving food in my mouth with wreckless abandon.

It is all so frustrating. OK I am going to step away from the edge of the cliff now and to quote Scarlett O'Hara - tomorrow is another day right?

Liz - awesome news about the loss!

E - glad to hear that Kelly is doing well after the earring malfunction

 

[AKASnowWhite]

Oh Paula!

ok. Deep breath. You most definitely have come a very long way. And I have 100% confidence that while this setback is disheartening, it is temporary. You are an incredible woman who is doing amazing things both personally & professionally. That can be a lot of pressure on one gal. I'm willing to bet that has something to do with it. Hang tough. I'm sure it will all come back together again real soon.

 

[lisaviolet]

Holy He!!. That was a lot to catch up on.

Food. I eat it. Not slowly and with purpose. I shove it in and head out. I'm sure you're all much better than me.

Kelly - job prospects? Life on the dole? How's it going, chica?

E - Kelly's earring. HOMG.

Lisa - How was Jean's birthday?

Jo - awesome on the run!!!

Meg - awesome on the loss!!!

Paula - did you weigh in?

Work is kinda stressful. New employee still very very eh. I spend half my day documenting the stuff she messes up.

Lost 1lbs this week - feel that's huge and awesome.

Major storm coming. Must go run for two hours. Catch you later!!!!!


xoxo!

Liz. Fantastic on the loss.

On the bold. I doubt it. I have never ever used a slow down technique but I'm so out of control around an emotional issue that I can't get my brain around I've got to try something. So there is no doing well with not shoving here. Just really trying.

Jean - I made her breakfast. Poor thing.

And then I screwed up dinner at her favourite place b/c it's at the mountain and we've always gone off season - and if on not on a weekend ski night -and didn't think about reservations. We've never made them there ever.

Every place was booked solid. We were both shocked. People rocking the hill. We got in one place but at a bar table. She had fun. We shared steak.

She's a loner Liz. Really. Doesn't seem like one, eh? Lots of friends but a loner.

Great job on the loss, Liz!

And by the way, Liz is texting me right now...from the TM! WHILE she is doing her 9 miles. HI LAR IOUS. She is 4 miles in right now and powering through because she is worried that the gym is going to close due to a storm.

16 miles on the bike done....nice and easy. No pain.

!6 miles! MFer.

E- I'm glad things went well at the doctors. The hole should close up relatively quickly. I love the Jordan's furniture in Reading, it's about 20 minutes from my house. You going to brave the snow to come down tomorrow?

Kat- I'm a super slow eater, I tend to always be the last one sitting at the dinner table. In fact there have been more then a few times everyone got up not realizing I was still eating.

Liz- Hey a pound is great! Great job!

Lisa- I've been really looking forward to the Olympics. I obviously love watching the hockey but I really enjoy watching many of the sports. I think the mascot is kind of cute, I like it.

My work is closing at one tomorrow due to this impending snow storm. I typically put together some sort of Valentines gift for my friends so I'm going to use my extra time to do that. I'm excited!

And I just need someone to explain to me how I can be kicking butt with workouts and weight loss, even going back to school but I cannot make myself walk away from guys who don't deserve me. I have confidence back, what is wrong with me? There's a reason I pushed a guy from my life but a few sweet words and he's back in. Ugh I'm fighting a mental battle with myself about this. Sorry I had to share.

Well Megan - I hear you. Sometimes I think it's about really meeting someone who loves with the heart AND actions and then the difference is so apparent - so blatant - that the other love is easier to turn away from - the other being the words - the attraction but the actions not supporting either. It's hard, eh? It's hard.

I've been very lucky. Very fortunate. I've only loved one a$$. Not bad. I should say only one a$$ loved me b/c I've never gone after a soul - they've all hit me with a frying pan a few times. I'm a little dense.

And the first real love for me didn't come until I was in my early twenties. I tell you - God saved my a$$ because I would have let people walk all over me if anyone showed interest earlier.
It's hard. It's so hard.

I am hiding... I gained 2.8 freaking pounds. That is the fourth week in a row of gains and I am up to 5 pounds at this point.

I am behind worried at this point. I feel so out of control that all I wanted to do was cry at my appointment. I spent way too much time and effort to lose those 80 pounds that I am at a total loss as to why I feel like I am throwing it all away at this point. For whatever reason I just keep shoving food in my mouth with wreckless abandon.

It is all so frustrating. OK I am going to step away from the edge of the cliff now and to quote Scarlett O'Hara - tomorrow is another day right?

Liz - awesome news about the loss!

E - glad to hear that Kelly is doing well after the earring malfunction

Paula. Paula.

Did you catch my post asking about your work hour change? And how it might be affecting things.

Paula - hang on. I'm in the same place. Yes I lost last week but if I had been on scale before that I would have posted consectutive gains. But I know that doesn't help.

You're scared and I understand that. That's what I'm trying to say.

I don't know if you believe in such things - but are you open to asking for the answer before you go to bed one night. I've had dreams that have had a huge impact on my life. And sometimes just knowledge out of nowhere.

Or play this with yourself. IF you could answer what the issue is right now what would you say (without judging what comes out of your mouth).

Sorry if this is all out there but it has had merit for me.

Please concentrate on all the weight you've lost. Do not ever lose sight of your accomplishments Paula.

Regardless, I hear you and I'm sorry that you are struggling. But look at your strength to keep on it and posting here. HUGE strength. HUGE.

And not to mention that you saved our a$$es when you inspired us when so many of us were off and you were on. So it's our turn now to support you.

 

[lisaviolet]

Paula - has this been happening since the change you made with Jesse's training?

I know pulling at strings here because you say it's about eating/emotions but I so feel for you.

What about work changes?

 

[goofyfan-12]

Paula - has this been happening since the change you made with Jesse's training?

I know pulling at strings here because you say it's about eating/emotions but I so feel for you.

What about work changes?

Lisa - the change at work was really only for one m
night so I doubt it was that. Now, do I have a ton more stress going on at work - yup!!! The workouts have been going well, but I can't say that I lobe the half hour sessions. I don't think I am working out as hard. I am planning on reevaluating that after the race. Right now,I just want the race over with so I can get my life back to normal. I miss my bike, I miss spin class and am really dreading the marathon training at this point,

 

[goofyfan-12]

I am convinced that this is a food thing and not am exercise thing. Can you imagine how I would be balooning up if I wasn't working out? That is a terrifying thought.

I will get back on track! I will. I just may need some help to pro me up for a while...

 

[SeptemberGirl]

Hmm. I'm lying here in the bath with my hardcore bleeding heel and although the high is still there, I know what you feel, Paula.

I was the rockstar. I lost big, setbacks, sure, but minor. I got to 80lbs and my head just didn't catch up. I was the poster child for my program just like you are. Totally. I so so get it.

I sure as f@ck don't want you to resolve it the way I did. 5lbs, 10lbs, 40lbs back on. So let me see where I went wrong.

Pressure. I felt it. From everyone who told me I looked good or exclaimed over me or held me up as example. Shame. Because I was human and not perfect. Disappointment and anger with myself. And oh yes. I never felt, 80 down, that I was enough. Thin enough, good enough, you name it. I swear I had more confidence before the massive loss. I didn't know who I was after that 80 lb.

I don't know if you feel any of that. But if you do, let's talk. I've got a snow day and a clear deck for the next two or three days. I've got some ideas about what could have worked for me. But I just didn't know how much it was about my head and not my body.

 

[goofyfan-12]

Liz- there is not a doubt in my mind that this is in my head and of my own doing. No one is forcing me to eat. I am open to ideas and words of wisdom. I am leaving work early for an eye doctor's appointment so I may reach out after that.

Thanks for all the support everyone! What would I do without you all? Oh yeah - I would be eating my way through the contents of my kitchen...

 

[SeptemberGirl]

Paula - you totally deserve the support, and every other good thing that happens to you.

Lisa - Thank you for retelling the Jean birthday story. I so appreciate it. Not having my lappie means I miss some things. This desk is just not super comfortable and I kind of have to get on and off. I need to set it up so I don't get a crick in my neck every time I go on the computer! So thank you!


So I did my 9 miles yesterday. On the treadmill, just as the snow storm started. The first 4 were awesome. Just sub a 15 min mile. The last 5 were challenging. Treadmills do not like to go for more than an hour, so I had to hop and hop back. I lost some time on that, and some miles. Which sucked! I took one bathroom break. I tried some Gu flavors. I got kicked out of the gym - closed it, actually - when I was 8.5 plus. I figure I was less than a half mile from finishing but slightly more than a quarter. I totally could have done it! Darn gym closing!

When I got home, I found that I'd bled through my sock - onto my sneaker. The whole back of my sneaker, inside and out. I really should have taken a picture of it. There was a TON. I just soaked paper towels in super cold water and blotted until it was almost gone. Now there's a small stain, but honestly, it looked like I'd cut my foot. I was shocked when I took it off. Nick was shocked!

I have an open blister, but nothing that hurts or that I noticed. I soaked in Epsom salts and ate a late late late dinner of chicken and a salad. And ordered 5 new pairs of socks and some energy Jelly beans and a water belt. And then, finally, I went to bed!

 

[HockeyKat]

Water belt. Do we need one of those?

What did you think of the gu flavors? I have a chocolate I am thinking of trying out this weekend.

Way to go on the 9 miles!! Hardcore on the bleeding heel, holy crap.


Paula, . I don't really have any advice as obviously, I am not the one to ask. But know that I am thinking of you and here for you whenever you need it.


Made it to hockey last night even though I was tired and pissy. I am really glad I did. Today is another cross-training day as I want to give my shins one more day off from wogging. Probably elliptical.

I had an 8AM dentist appt this morning that was pre-empted last night by an 8:30AM meeting request, so off to the gym early.


I have discovered my new fav after-long-wog snack. South Beach peanut butter protein bar, 140 cals and 10g protein and goo-oood.

 

[AKASnowWhite]

School was cancelled today due to the predicted snow storm. It's now after 11:30 am and it has FINALLY started to flurry. Yes, we're getting flurries. The rest of the east coast is getting a good snowstorm and we seem to be in some kind of protective bubble. So not fair


Paula - I've been thinking a lot about you today.

Liz- awesome on the 9 miles. What kind of water belt did you get? I have a fuel belt and love it.

Kat - are the shins feeling better? Resting them a bit more is probably a very good idea. I love my water belt because I just must have water available to me at all times. I'm a sipper. I sip a lot. If you aren't that much of a water drinker while you run then the water stations will more than likely be plenty for you.

Erika - speaking of rest, today is your day off, correct?

Kelly - how are things going for you? I've been thinking a lot about you too!

Lisa - what are you doing for exercise these days? Are you on your interval schedule or something else?

Ronda - miss you! Hope all is well with you & with Sue's mom

Amy, EE, Megan, Jo, Cathie

 

[SeptemberGirl]

Gu. I tried Orange Burst. Gross. The vanilla bean was okay. It was frosting like. I'm not sure Gu is for me. Texture is important. But it did feel like I had more energy with it than without it. For real. I have three more flavors to try. I didn't eat a whole packets, just tested some out with water. Major water.

I discovered that I did better hydrated. Um, duh, I know, but true. 2 liters of water last night. Darn metric system. Hmm, what are those bottles in our measurement. (Sorry, Kelly!) Okay, they are about 17 oz, rounded up. So I figure I need about 2.5 liters, which is 84-85 ozs. Yeah, that's a lot of water. Maybe just 2 liters, because not all the bottles were filled. My belt is 48 oz. That's as big as I could find. I bought the one Nancy told me to ages ago. Fuel Belt, 48 ozs of water. Does the race make up for this with water stops?

Kat - WTG on hockey. Good for you!