In Search of My Body....Not the One I ATE! Vol. 5: Goddesses are Always on Top!

[Dizneydawn]

holy crap, I'm a friggin' idiot.

I never changed my watch last weekend. It is NOT 10:25. it's 11:25. crap, crap, crap.

I haven't showered. I'm sweaty and disgusting.

And my daughter has a dr's appt in 20 minutes and I have to go NOW to fetch her from school.

I laughed and laughed at this one. You just made my day.

 

[3DisneyKids]

Liz, thanks for the I am tired, stressed, over trained, under trained, brain starved, etcetera. There is a lot going on right now in my little world with a marathon added in. You have all been there for me and I have tried to be there for you. Most of you all are very supportive, some act like I don't exist. It is hard sometimes when you get lots going on to not notice the little things. KWIM?

I am not going away, just stepping back. I don't plan to leave entirely because I would never do that to anyone. I am not that kind of person. I just don't have much left to give out right now and I don't think it is fair to you all who give so much.

Sorry if I came off wrong. I really didn't mean to, it is just hard to put down in words when your brain is on empty.

Lisa! I love having you here. Love reading about your training stuff and diet changes, etc. Gives me hope and ideas and energizes me. I have gotten used to you waking up the thread, and when I sit down with my tea in the morning I always think, "What's Lisa got to say this morning?" You have made an impact and you contribute.

I am the first one to admit that I don't respond to everyone every day. I can't. No one can nor should. But no one should feel "less than" just because of that. There are people here that I am closer with and people I am still just getting to know. And it is all ok. I love that everyone has something unique to contribute here. Some of it weight loss related and some of it not. For example, I love just reading Kelly's posts, full of British-isms. But I rarely respond to Kelly wave2. Not because I don't like her or want her here, because I do. And I love that Roddy posts Youtube links! And that you post about fitness stuff. And I know that I can count on Liz to talk about Vera Bradley, Bruce, breast cancer, and spread sheets. ALL of it is good.

I am in a funk right now as well. Same type of stuff. The weather and waiting for spring. My dad and his deteriorating health. The fact that I haven't lost a freaking ounce in 3 weeks despite being an absolute goddess. And just too much on my plate with 3 kids and ft work and a husband who is a mess about the economy.

But don't disappear. Breathe. Relax. We like you and like having you here. Take it in. We're here for you in whatever capacity you need....but we also might need for you to tell us what that capacity is.

Liz said it really well, as she so often does. I feel like you are just starting to talk about some important stuff now. Don't take your ball at come home. Stay and play.

 

[3DisneyKids]

LisaV--

You are something special, you know. Really. I don't think I have ever met anyone with your level of self-honesty. Which is different than self awareness.

Look, I am sorry that this guy hurt you by blocking you. But that has zero to do with who YOU are as a person and everything to do with who HE is and HIS issues. Like, how crazy must he be that he can't handle get an innocent 2-sentence note from someone he was once friendly with? It is insane that he was so threatened by that.

Look at who you are and who are becoming. You are smart. Beautiful. Kind. OMG so good-natured. You see the good in everyone and don't want to harm others. Great sense of humor. You are being true to yourself and there is never anything wrong with that.

Hang in there, honey. And don't eat this. Work it out in the gym if you have to, but don't eat it. You don't need to.

 

[DisneyWorld Delight]

Lisa - just read your post! OMG! He's a freaking insecure idiot!!!! I cannot say that with enough venom!!! Please please please, breath, and know, it is not you!!! (He obviously has some crosses to bear, one of which could be his wife.)

 

[SeptemberGirl]

Darlings,

I'm at my mom's for the day, so I really need to play with the people in front of me. Kwim?

But...

Lisa PR. I get it. Stick around, we'll carry you.

Lisa V, ditto. more on that later. Just hugs now, to both of you!

Erika you said it well.

Okay, gang, I'm going to go spend family time. Love and hugs to all of you.

 

[goofyfan-12]

I was trying everything to straighten it short of a chemical straighting but I like it this way too. I can have it straight and then have it curly ... I can have my cake and eat it too! LOL

Steph - you have no idea how jealous I am of you because you can straighten your hair. No matter what I do, I can never have the straight look.

Paula (and yes, I am pouting)

 

[3DisneyKids]

Hey, what are some of your favorite recipes using the shriatake tofu noodles? I want to do something new and fun with them.

 

[amykab]

Steph/Paula: I was contemplating getting this all natural straightening thing done that is apparently the latest thing in hair straightening, but once I lost my job it was way to much $$$. I can blow dry it out fairly straight or put a bit of product in it to bring out the curl.

LisaV, Lisa PR: Just some for you two.

Does whole foods carry shiratake noodles? we finally have one here.

So, I was out and about today with my team edward shirt on and I always get at least a few comments. This one guy was like, I don't see why everyone is team edward, what is so great about him?? Because he's edward freaking cullen that's why!! Just about 10 days until the DVD release!!

Also, got in a 2.3 ish miler today in 25 minutes. Pretty good for me and it felt great after a week and a half off. I am usually at 2ish miles at that point!! It is going to take me awhile though to get over feeling guilty at not running long distances all the time. No garmin or watch, just pushed myself based on how I felt.

 

[DisneyWorld Delight]

ha! I'm still looking for them. Noodles that is.

Paula - do you have a straightener?

Word - Edward Freaking Cullin

 

[3DisneyKids]

I have no Cullen-ware. Liz has an awesome Cullen Baseball shirt. I really want one. Hmmm. There are SO many great shirts at Zazzle.

In fact, J and I just designed and ordered our shirts for the CRUISE. And I leave 8 weeks from today. That is a happy thought! The freaking Carribbean! YES! I need palm trees and cabana boys and umbrella drinks.

 

[3DisneyKids]

LYZ...they have then near you. At the Health Food Cupboard and Health in Hand. They also have them at that health food store over by the university.

 

[HockeyKat]

Amy, yes, they do. At least mine does anyhow. Earth Fare, does, as well.

Remember when I texted Erika that I was going into an Earth Fare voluntarily??

I have done a spaghetti knockoff with them, with meat sauce. Is that an oxymoron?


Love and hugs to everyone who needs them.

 

[lisaviolet]

Hi,

I've got to run. But I just wanted to come on and say thanks. And I'll write more later. I want to acknowledge you all individually. Thank God for you guys. Thank God. My other friends can not hear this because they would judge my even dropping him lines. I'm proud of myself for reaching out to all of you. I know I make it seem easy at times. It's not. I had to work myself up to reach out for help.

Eirka - how is your dad doing?

Lisa - I do care. I did understand. I'm overly sensitive but your post to Nancy said a lot to me. Spoke things. I'm smiling that why the smile icon. I so want you to stay around. I absolutely enjoy reading your posts. Nothing I said was said with malicious intent. But I also had compassion for whoever the people are that you feel have failed you, my words - not yours, here because I truly believe it's a dynamic that I've felt. And I've been seeing that you've been hurt for awhile clearly. I'm so sorry.

Hi everyone. I feel like I'm in fog. I've got to go up to my parents and pack too here and there. You do have to pack to go on a trip, right? I'm such a throw in at the last minute.

Liz - your email was greatly appreciated. Hope your mom is having a good day. I have more to say when I get a chance. EDIT: I'm such an idiot. I'm really not functioning people. Lyz!!!! My head just can't cope and I thought Liz sent me an email. And I just realized likie a flashback that you sent me an email. OMG. So sorry. Sh!t. Thank you so much.

 

[DisneyWorld Delight]

LYZ...they have then near you. At the Health Food Cupboard and Health in Hand. They also have them at that health food store over by the university.

I am literally laughing out loud! I totally forgot we had a health food
store in my town. Freaking hilarious. (or very sad).

(whispering - guys, E is stalking me. She's googling spas and heath food stores in MY town.)

 

[goofyfan-12]

I have no Cullen-ware. Liz has an awesome Cullen Baseball shirt. I really want one. Hmmm. There are SO many great shirts at Zazzle.

In fact, J and I just designed and ordered our shirts for the CRUISE. And I leave 8 weeks from today. That is a happy thought! The freaking Carribbean! YES! I need palm trees and cabana boys and umbrella drinks.

Cabana boys... now there is a reason to stop and daydream for a while...

 

[goofyfan-12]

ha! I'm still looking for them. Noodles that is.

Paula - do you have a straightener?

Word - Edward Freaking Cullin

Lyz - I don't have a straightener. Way too lazy to committ to doing that on a daily basis. It has taken me years to embrace my curls, but I really do love them so. There are just days when I wish I could do the straight bob because I think it is a cute look. When my curls are rockin though, there is nothing better.

 

[HockeyKat]

Cabana boys... now there is a reason to stop and daydream for a while...

Isn't that the truth...

 

[goofyfan-12]

Hi everyone,

I started writing a proper post this morning and got called away for a bunch of meetings / stuff at work so it is now 2:15 and am just getting caught up.

Lots of stuff going on today. Sending hugs out to everyone because I think we all need one. So everyone, take a deep breath, think of one positive change that you have made in your life this month, smile and let out all of that stress with that breath. We have come a long way and we’re not done yet.

LisaPR - I was sad when I read your post this morning. It makes me sad to see anyone not getting the support that they need. However, it is hard for any of us to respond to everyone all of the time. We try, but there are so many reasons why this happens. Sometimes it is just not possible because of things going on in our own lives, we can’t relate to what you are going through or don’t have anything to add to the discussion so we stay silent, we read the comment a few days after the fact and our response is no longer relevant - you get the idea. This does not mean that we don’t care or that we don’t look forward to everything that you have to say. I have learned a great deal from you and I would hate to lose out on that now. Plus, sometimes just reading the posts of others helps to clarify something that I have going on. I may not need to comment on it, but knowing that I am not alone in something certainly helps give me the support I need. You are not alone!!!! Please don’t isolate yourself.

LisaV – Your post made me sad as well. Losing a friend that you have come to count on is just plain hard. Is he an a$$ for doing what he is doing – absolutely, but that is his issue, not yours. You can’t force someone to feel something that they don’t and while sometimes a cruel lesson to learn, it is an important one to remember. In the meantime, don’t eat your way through the pain. Scream, cry, exercise, whatever works, but don’t eat your way through it. Its just not worth it. You have come too far to do that to yourself now. Like Erika said, go to the gym, vent about it while walking the beaches in FL, etc. (I tend to bake oodles of cookies and then give them all away because I am sick of seeing flour, butter and sugar in combination). Stay strong. You will find it in yourself to heal and move past this.

All right – enough of the heavy stuff. I see that tofu noodles are back in the conversation. Someone please tell me what to do with the bag that is in my fridge. I bought them, but am a little apprehensive about trying them. How sad is that?

Last post from me for a while. So need to get some work done...

 

[lisaviolet]

Hi everyone,

I started writing a proper post this morning and got called away for a bunch of meetings / stuff at work so it is now 2:15 and am just getting caught up.

Lots of stuff going on today. Sending hugs out to everyone because I think we all need one. So everyone, take a deep breath, think of one positive change that you have made in your life this month, smile and let out all of that stress with that breath. We have come a long way and we’re not done yet.

LisaPR - I was sad when I read your post this morning. It makes me sad to see anyone not getting the support that they need. However, it is hard for any of us to respond to everyone all of the time. We try, but there are so many reasons why this happens. Sometimes it is just not possible because of things going on in our own lives, we can’t relate to what you are going through or don’t have anything to add to the discussion so we stay silent, we read the comment a few days after the fact and our response is no longer relevant - you get the idea. This does not mean that we don’t care or that we don’t look forward to everything that you have to say. I have learned a great deal from you and I would hate to lose out on that now. Plus, sometimes just reading the posts of others helps to clarify something that I have going on. I may not need to comment on it, but knowing that I am not alone in something certainly helps give me the support I need. You are not alone!!!! Please don’t isolate yourself.

LisaV – Your post made me sad as well. Losing a friend that you have come to count on is just plain hard. Is he an a$$ for doing what he is doing – You can’t force someone to feel something that they don’t and while sometimes a cruel lesson to learn, it is an important one to remember. In the meantime, don’t eat your way through the pain. Scream, cry, exercise, whatever works, but don’t eat your way through it. Its just not worth it. You have come too far to do that to yourself now. Like Erika said, go to the gym, vent about it while walking the beaches in FL, etc. (I tend to bake oodles of cookies and then give them all away because I am sick of seeing flour, butter and sugar in combination). Stay strong. You will find it in yourself to heal and move past this.

All right – enough of the heavy stuff. I see that tofu noodles are back in the conversation. Someone please tell me what to do with the bag that is in my fridge. I bought them, but am a little apprehensive about trying them. How sad is that?

Last post from me for a while. So need to get some work done...

Paula Forgive me Paula. I used the laughing icon cause I'm not angry I'm smiling with an ouch. I thank you so much for your words. Honestly. Thank you for taking the time. But this line is and kind of shocked me. I'm not getting this and it wasn't helpful. I know what he felt and I know what I felt. I know the truth of what was there. Nothing, at this point, can change what was. Was. It's not about what he is feeling. ( Obviously by blocking he's feeling an awful lot. You gave me that powerful position to laugh at Erika ) I wasn't trying to start a friendship back with him. I never expected a word back. Never. It was sent for me. Long story. And as for my needy, nutso behaviour when he immediately didn't deal iwth my change in my life. Well, it wasn't about getting his friendship back (though I did miss our conversations greatly) - it was the anger of not getting a respectful goodbye. It was needy, It was nutso. But like I said needy is fueled by cold immature actions.

If I misread it, which is quite possible since I can no longer read a "y" from an "i" Oh my liz and lyz, let me know. It not, eeek. Don't get it. Ie. Don't get what your line has to do with my story. Confused.

 

[lisaviolet]

Really got to get out of here. Be back late tonight. Have a good day everyone.