In Search of my Body...Not The One I Ate.. #4 "Inspiring Others... 1 Tiara at a Time"

[adsrtw]

Oh, I'm going to regret this. I bought Twilight.

Ok dang it, I couldn't keep quiet for long. The are long reads, but interesting. I swear. Welcome to the dark side!

 

[lisaviolet]

Oh crap. I forgot to tell you. I'm home home and in heaven to be. Went upstairs to the gym today and almost kissed the treadmill. Oh my little treadmill how I've missed you so.

And then like it has feelings I laughed and said, "Don't worry - she doesn't appreciate you - you're not a dreadmill".

In my head of course.

 

[adsrtw]

Oh crap. I forgot to tell you. I'm home home and in heaven to be. Went upstairs to the gym today and almost kissed the treadmill. Oh my little treadmill how I've missed you so.

And then like it has feelings I laughed and said, "Don't worry - she doesn't appreciate you - you're not a dreadmill".

In my head of course.

Love it! Love it!

 

[lisaviolet]

Ok dang it, I couldn't keep quiet for long. The are long reads, but interesting. I swear. Welcome to the dark side!

Starting tomorrow.

Feels like grade seven and everyone has kodiak boots. Tongues out of course.

 

[adsrtw]

Starting tomorrow.

Feels like grade seven and everyone has kodiak boots. Tongues out of course.

Must have tongues out, lol

Good Night Lisa!

And anybody else who might be reading.

 

[3DisneyKids]

Just checking in to let you know that I got my strength and core done!

Thanks, Kat! I needed it.

So my totals for today are:

Food = 1250 calories, tracked it all
Alcohol = none
Water = hmmm, not all. I think I have to drink some now.
Exercise = 10 mile bike, 2.5 mile run, strength, core (challenge total = 220/2100)

 

[DisneyGalUK]

Ummm...did I ever confess to going through a drive thru and pretending I was ordering for a kid or Chad or whoever and not just me so getting a double bacon cheeseburger and chicken sandwich heavy mayo was not so appalling?* Cause I have and I remember clearly gorging on those 2 huge sandwiches to the point of nearly vomiting in the car.* Pulling over and wanting to die for what I was doing to myself.Sorry for the detail.* Maybe too much for some of you.* It is my life with food though.* That is the reality of it.[/COLOR]

Not too much detail. Not at all.My confession time, to show you that everyone has bad times. Once I was coming home from work on the bus, I got off the bus at KFC and ordered a 8 piece boneless chicken meal (8 pieces of chicken, 2 fries, large side, large bottle of pop). I then went and sat on a bench round the back of KFC and ate the lot. I then jumped on the bus home, went to my mums and cried. Like you, I couldn't believe what I had just done. I never told DH. Only you guys and my mum.

Kelly - sleep tight and be careful on that ice.* No more falling - promise?

I will promise no more falls. My head promises, my legs no so much!

One thing that I haven't shared though is what I went through is really a huge driving force for my weight loss effort.* It is so mental for me!* My ex constantly would degrade me because of my weight.* I didn't deserve to have somebody who loved me for what I was (then).* Now, I know I still have a way to go, but my inner self knows that I do deserve to have that and more (the real part that I know is lurking down deep).* Just scared of the unknown.* The old way is really all that I know.

You DO deserve more

Eek.Kelly did you grow up in the same area as you live now?* Lyz and I want to know.* to you Lyz.*

I did, born and grew up here. Why, are you following me here?

And I forgot to comment about Kelly and the MIL, too.* So sorry that your MIL is such a pain.

Thanks. We are going there for dinner tonight. Everyone send good thoughts my way I also forgot to say, how awesome is it that you are playing in a hockey arena!

Twilight readers, this one is for you.* It is making me crack up, laugh sooo loud.xoxohttp://movies.msn.com/movies/galleryfeature/lost-twilight-script/?photoidx=1&silentchk=1&vv=600

I am going to check this out now.I love to laugh, its one of my absolute favourite things to do!

Oh, I'm going to regret this.* I bought Twilight.*

Welcome to the dark side, speak to you in about 3 days
Ok, food for yesterday:

Breakfast - All Bran cereal and skimmed milk
Snack - Banana
Lunch - Tuscan bean soup with a bread roll (oops)
Snack - Low fat yoghurt and grapes
Dinner - Wholemeal pasta and tomato sauce with grilled chicken breast

Water - 6 glasses
I also admit to a glass of wine and a small bar of chocolate. I make no apologies, I just found out we are going to MIL's for dinner tonight!

So far today:

Breakfast - WW bagel with low fat spread cheese

Water - 0 glasses so far!

 

[DisneyGalUK]

Liz -
Oh my, that is so funny! I laughed out loud!

Some of my favourite bits were:

"Let us hold hands and take a ride in my swift, swift volvo"

"I love you. Love, love, love, kissy, kissy"

 

[Dizneydawn]

And me, well, I'm never going to live up to anyone else's expectations of me. I can only do what I can in that moment. I'd love to get to the point where I never turned to food for comfort or escape. I'd love to naturally eat better. But I will take consciously eating better, and recognizing my choices for what they are.


I liked this:

"Not my best food plan but better and the betters will someday add up to being the best. For me. there will probably be no perfect food day. I just want them to be enough that I can look in the mirror and not hate the person looking back."

This is what this board was, a year ago. This type of confession and support.

No, you will never have a perfect food day. A really good one, sure, and a string of really good ones. But not perfect. And that's okay.

Who wants to be perfect, anyway? Soooo boring!

I do miss being this type of honest about my food choices and reasoning. I think do or die...lurkers or not...that cohesive existence i need with food can only come after my admitting to success and failure and the acceptance to move on.

Liz--Just saw your edit about the other ingredients in the sauce. I LOVE kalamata olives. And I think wine used in cooking would be acceptable to anyone who is on the wagon. but I am not the challenge czar.
I agree..Communion and food are not bandwagon booters...
On an unrelated note, I just booked a ticket for Delena and I to go visit SIL and nieces in a couple weeks. 68 dollars round trip. FL to SC. Sweet. I will be able to get my final long run in the day I leave (the 19th), and then will be able to continue the C25K while I am up there. It will be a taper week anyhow. I get back the 26th and the race is the 1st.

Great Deals! Good for you!

Liz is right. Yes, healthy food is a big issue with me. It has been for years and years. But that is the thing...it is MY issue and I have no business pushing it on others.
E - I know your heart has my best interest in mind. I appreciate when and where you can and do offer me advice in my betterment of diet and excersize.
And I am so so so far from perfect. I mean, I have been needing to lose the same freaking 15 pounds for like 6 months now. If I was doing everything right, then those 15 pounds would have been gone in June and I would be at goal and all of the rest.
Okay, you had me giggling here. Since we have spoken and I know your intonations I can actually hear your written word. Your intonation on the word freaking is one of my favorite things! Maybe I nee you to just be my Jillian and yell "Freaking" into my Ipod when I work out!


Ok, I now have to go out in the snow (still snowing here) and dark to pick up my kid from snowboarding. And I am sure that I am going to have to sit in my car for ages waiting as the bus will likely be late due to said snow.

Again you lucky ducks with the snow. -20 here and no new snow in weeks.

Oh, when I am off, my food choices would curdle E's vampiric lack of soul. Really.
E - you have to go as a vampire to some Halloween dress up night. I want pics. My only question is can you run really fast like Edward. Cause that superpower would be so cool.
I can't even tell you the quantity of junk I can consume. It is staggering.

And you do have to start somewhere. It has taken me years to get to the point where I bulk my food up with veggies. Since this is confession time... I do this as much to feel FULL, and get as much food for my calories, as I do to be healthy. If all I had were two small meals, even if they only added to 1200 cals, I would be ready to punch someone by 8PM. Really.
I think Kat is on to something. I often want to punch something. Thought it was just Chad. Maybe it is broccoli.
But this week, I went into multiple health food stores to find tofu noodles. TOFU NOODLES!!
On my grocery list!
Veggies are definitely more expensive, but I will freely admit to buying non-organic, SuperWalmart veggies, and sometimes frozen ones as well. I have gone completely away from frozen meals... $2-3 here, and that can buy 1 romaine lettuce, an onion, a cucumber, and salad dressing.
Great idea!

Hi All,

Dawn - you are doing really well with the tracking. Like Liz said, you are eating real meals now instead of just calories. So proud of you for that. Stick with it. It does get easier. Give yourself some time to build new habits and then it will be second nature for you. Again, so proud of you for the steps you are taking. Awareness is the first step right?
I am not going anywhere. Habit or bust is my new motto!
BTW - Ace is too cute.
I know! He has curly hair just like his mama!
Paula

One thing that I haven't shared though is what I went through is really a huge driving force for my weight loss effort. It is so mental for me! My ex constantly would degrade me because of my weight. I didn't deserve to have somebody who loved me for what I was (then). Now, I know I still have a way to go, but my inner self knows that I do deserve to have that and more (the real part that I know is lurking down deep). Just scared of the unknown. The old way is really all that I know.

It tookme 17 years to get enough courage to move out of that scenario. You are stronger than I was and getting that inner peace and deserving acceptance is still a work in progress. Dan is my saving grace cause when I push because I am scared of having something and then losing it versus at least not having it and not enduring the hurt...he holds me even tighter.

In New Moon when Bellas is so scared to fully enjoy Edward at first because she is so afraid of him leaving in the future again instead of living in the now - I totally got that.

Okay, so this is major. Ready? MAJOR.

Tonight, I fell in love with Jillian.

Does your husband know?

Not too much detail. Not at all.My confession time, to show you that everyone has bad times. Once I was coming home from work on the bus, I got off the bus at KFC and ordered a 8 piece boneless chicken meal (8 pieces of chicken, 2 fries, large side, large bottle of pop). I then went and sat on a bench round the back of KFC and ate the lot. I then jumped on the bus home, went to my mums and cried. Like you, I couldn't believe what I had just done. I never told DH. Only you guys and my mum.
Kelly - it was me that wrote that not Amy (I do not want Amy to have my food shame!)

And thanks for sharing your moment of food orgy.

Besides you all, Dan was the first person I told and not long after we met. I knew then that there was a trust and a comfort between us that would always be cherished.

I also admit to a glass of wine and a small bar of chocolate. I make no apologies, I just found out we are going to MIL's for dinner tonight!
I'd of brought a Wine Vat! Don't those things come on rollers?

I have been up since 3:30 am again. I am really sick of not being able to sleep and I lie there for almost an hour before I finally give up. Tired!

 

[DISNEY4XMAS]

I'm here ... well not really just checking in before you send out the troops looking for me

 

[DisneyGalUK]

Whoopsie! Sorry, I don't know how I managed to get Amy's name on your quote Dawn - I blame...oh who am I kidding, I blame not watching what I type!

I forgot to say - love your dog!

 

[adsrtw]

I'm here ... well not really just checking in before you send out the troops looking for me

Hi Stephanie! How's Zac doing?

Good Morning Everybody!

Don't like the weather here? Wait 15 mins and it's different. This weekend we had temps near 50 <melt that snow and ice!>, but today is different, so different. We have negative wind chills again.

I have some responses to make, but snoozing for 15 mins sounded better than playing online this morning.

Talk with ya after work.

 

[3DisneyKids]

Morning!

So, that hip pain that I mentioned a while back. At first LisaPR and I were thinking piriformis. Then I was pretty sure it was IT band. Nope, not that either. It is actually my hamstring. I did a very light ham workout yesterday (as I have been going easy on legs for a while trying to baby this injury) and this morning, BAM! Clear as day. Strained hammy. Not good timing. Not sure how much to rest it.

Ok, forgot all of the other comments I was going to make. Guess I'll have to go back and multi-quote.

 

[zigzagzerr]

It is so mental for me! My ex constantly would degrade me because of my weight. I didn't deserve to have somebody who loved me for what I was (then). Now, I know I still have a way to go, but my inner self knows that I do deserve to have that and more (the real part that I know is lurking down deep).

Finding that inner love is so important -- you're right, you deserve the best!

Not too much detail. Not at all.My confession time, to show you that everyone has bad times. Once I was coming home from work on the bus, I got off the bus at KFC and ordered a 8 piece boneless chicken meal (8 pieces of chicken, 2 fries, large side, large bottle of pop). I then went and sat on a bench round the back of KFC and ate the lot. I then jumped on the bus home, went to my mums and cried. Like you, I couldn't believe what I had just done. I never told DH. Only you guys and my mum.

So, that hip pain that I mentioned a while back. At first LisaPR and I were thinking piriformis. Then I was pretty sure it was IT band. Nope, not that either. It is actually my hamstring. I did a very light ham workout yesterday (as I have been going easy on legs for a while trying to baby this injury) and this morning, BAM! Clear as day. Strained hammy. Not good timing. Not sure how much to rest it.

Ouch! Take care of yourself - pulled hamstrings are nasty.


Well, woke up today to a couple more inches of snow. For some reason, the county schools decided to tough it out, though, and the kids headed out, not even a delay. Guess they are making up from last week.

Had a good workout with my class last night, and DH and I did well on the evening snacking, so I'm feeling good again today. To me, waking up feeling rested and strong is a definite payoff to the healthy eating/exercise plan!

Have a great day!!

 

[SeptemberGirl]

Okay - quick post here.

I found some GREAT bread. The Vermont Bread Company, Sprouted Wheat Bread. No fat, 2 grams of fiber, 60 calories. Brown and yummy! And one slice is 1pt, two slices is 1.5 pts.

Now back to your regularly scheduled posting!

 

[AKASnowWhite]

Finally caught up, and now I'm exhausted. So much I wanted to respond to, it woulda been ridiculous. So, just a few for now.

I agree! IV port for carbs in my arm I swear. Yet the tracking is making me aware in ways I have never really gotten before. New dedication!

I hate wasting food an so usually I tend to eat whatever is leftover.
Hence many times the same food many days in a row.

I want to be proud of the steps I am taking to get to her and I do appreciate what E notices about how and where I can do better. She takes care of herself and her food choices meticulously better than I do. I am just not there yet.

Dawn. Where to start. So much I want to say right now.

The fact that you are tracking is HUGE. Putting it all down there - the good, the bad, just everything. It is indeed enlightening. And I will admit, that my first instinct was to look at your food and tell you all the things that I thought you should change. But I can't. Because while my diet is typically "crap free" it wasn't always that way. When I lost my first 45 lbs, I did it with WW. And yes. I ate lots of fruit and salads, zero point veggies, etc. But I did that so that I could eat cookies. And ice cream. And chocolate. My food intake was so far from perfect. But, at the end of the day as long as my calories IN were less than my calories OUT, I was good.

The *healthy* eating lifestyle came to me later. It was more about how I "felt", if that makes sense. I simply feel so much better when I am "eating clean". More energy, none of the highs & lows during the day, more positive outlook all around. So. If you want suggestions, I'm happy to give them. Otherwise, I promise not to critique your food choices.

I also hate wasting food. I can totally relate to that aspect. Groceries cost SO much and I just don't have the extra $$ to be tossing stuff out mindlessly. However, just because I don't want to WASTE it, doesn't mean I want to WAIST it either, kwim? It's hard, I know. But that will come to.

Be proud of the steps you have taken thus far. It does take time. And a lot of patience. That weight didn't magically appear overnight. And it won't magically disappear overnight either. Truly, slow and steady does win in this case. Lifestyle changes that you can legitimately live with will get you where you want to go.

Veggies are definitely more expensive, but I will freely admit to buying non-organic, SuperWalmart veggies, and sometimes frozen ones as well.

Frozen veggies can actually have more nutritional value than their fresh counterparts. If your produce has to travel for days across the country in trucks before it gets to your store, it may not be quite at it's peak anymore. Frozen veggies are often processed so quickly that all the "good stuff" is retained.

The trick is learning to cook them so that you don't end up with a bowl full of mush! That's what gives veggies a bad rep!

Isn't this the 2nd time this happened? Maybe I am just smokin'. Awesome that you were able to have a 2 hour workout.

No, this was the only time she was sick. One day last week, my partner couldn't make it - she got "iced in". Maybe that's what you were thinking?

Pushed through and it was a good workout (Nancy - lots of push ups... I am going to start channeling GI Jane soon - without the head shaving though).

As long as you don't start shouting rude comments at your trainer, I think GI Jane is a GREAT channel!

Nancy - this might sound a bit negative, it's just concern, but I meant to say this last week. There is this trainer that feels very passionately that one shouldn't go beyond an hour in a session. That the body will not adapt to lower minutes so easily. (Obviously when you guys are training for a race that makes no sense), But you do post a lot of 90 minutes. Have you ever heard that?

That's great that you guys did your workout. Good for you.

When are the callipers coming?

Valid question. And thanks for the concern. Yes. I'm aware that "overtraining" can be a bad thing. (been there, done that )And yes, I have had a few longer sessions lately - and 2 in a row (Mon/Tues) which is definitely a lot of exercise. But those are the exception for me, not the norm. And I do include my warm up and cool down/stretching time in my exercise, so it's not typically "all out" for 90 minutes. Since I'm not actively training for an endurance evet, if this becomes a real habit for me, feel free to ask me about it again, 'K?

And callipers? Not sure. Hopefully I'll find out tomorrow.

Oh, I'm going to regret this. I bought Twilight.

Just because you bought it, doesn't mean you have to read it. I am living proof of that. I've had that book here for months and so far, it's just been collecting dust

Strained hammy. Not good timing. Not sure how much to rest it.

Oy. That sucks. Not fun. Be careful and don't push it - it's so not worth it.

 

[3DisneyKids]

I love Jesus, but I drink a little...

If you don't know the line, youtube it! OMG, hilarious! It is SO my motto! I want a TAG of it!

 

[goofyfan-12]

Hi everyone,

Feeling like crap today thanks to my head cold, but wanted to chime in on a few things.

Erika - take care of that hamstring. it sounds painful.

Dawn - again so proud of the progress you are making. Little steps lead to real change. I have done some of the drive through runs that you spoke about - definitely not my best moments so I know where you were. Keep trudging. Use the veggies as filler foods. My sister still laughs when she thinks back to the vertical mound of salad that would be on my plate when I first started JC. The mound got smaller and smaller as my stomach adjusted to needed less food. In the meantime, eat the veggies (frozen ones are what I used a lot since they were cheap and easily prepared). Play around with different vinegars or citrus juices and spices to give them different flavor accents with little calories added.

Nancy - no obscenities screamed at Jessie yet, but I was giving him a hard time last night. He was lounging on one of the machines while I was doing my lunges and such. I kept giving him cr@p about his sitting on his bummocks during my entire workout. That of course energized him and led to a harder workout for me. Not sure, but I think it was a win-win situation.

Kelly - I feel your pain on the KFC incident. There have been times like that in my life too, but I haven't told anyone about them.

Liz - thanks for the suggestion on the bread. I will keep that in mind for when I start eating real food again (which should be soon).

I need to run to another meeting. I have more that I want to say, but it is going to have to wait. I will leave you with this:

I am starting my first real conversation with one of the guys I have been chattring with online tonight. I'll let you know how it goes. (and Amiee, you can start busting on me with the comments...)

Paula

 

[DisneyWorld Delight]

The whole drive thru food confessions - I am that woman! Just sayin'. Been there. Done that. Would probalby do it today if I was low.

E - funny.

Lisa - Twilight. Hmmm. I love that Cullen Family. I wish I was just starting to read Twilight. (Course I'm looking for anything to put off my tax information assembly. I might even get on the elliptical )

 

[3DisneyKids]

Oh and Lyz...Pete just friended me on Facebook!