I'm trying so hard not to be "that" parent. Frustrated.

[mjkacmom]

I’m in my 50’s, back in high school and college, cursive was MUCH faster for me than printing, no one

I didn't say they were required I know they aren't

Everyone around me that's just how we were taught to write checks; I think the part that was usually cursive to us in terms of being taught was the line where you spell out the amount of the check (plus your signature). Being that you were older than me I assumed you were taught the same is all thus my question.

If check writing was taught in cursive, it was because everything was taught in cursive. Now that I print, I always print checks.

 

[kidshop]

I do the the handwriting requirement is arbitrary and outdated. I live in one of the largest school districts in the US and they do not really teach cursive. No time, really. My oldest son is 19 and he was taught cursive minimally in another state (they wrote their spelling tests in cursive), but my dd has been here since 1st grade and they spent a few weeks learning letters at the end of third grade, without grading the performance. She was interested on her own however and she did workbooks to practice more. She can’t read cursive though. I never really thought about not being able to read it, that is a downfall for sure.

But they do not need it and will not need it for the future other than signing their name in some cases. It should not be a cause of severe stress IMO. It is not worth it.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

If check writing was taught in cursive, it was because everything was taught in cursive. Now that I print, I always print checks.

Right that's why I asked though. The poster said it's been since elementary school since they've used cursive. I can understand nowadays not bothering to write cursive but I def. wrote my checks in cursive when I first started writing them--hence my question really.

 

[DLgal]

Right that's why I asked though. The poster said it's been since elementary school since they've used cursive. I can understand nowadays not bothering to write cursive but I def. wrote my checks in cursive when I first started writing them--hence my question really.

Well, my dad taught me how to write checks and I have never, ever seen his write in cursive, so there you go!

 

[CarolAnn856]

Hey, I'm really not one to ever say that a thread should stay on topic, as I've helped derail my fair share. But the OP is a mom looking for sincere advice about her son. May I respectfully suggest that starting a spin-off thread regarding cursive writing might be the kind thing to do?

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

Well, my dad taught me how to write checks and I have never, ever seen his write in cursive, so there you go!

That makes sense lol

 

[barkley]

I learned something new today.

In addition to calling the psychologist, after I saw your post I thought maybe it wouldn't hurt to check with the city schools and see if they could evaluate him also. Figured it couldn't hurt to have 2 opinions. According to the head of special education, our local school district won't evaluate him, since the private school is physically located in a different district. We would have to go to the neighboring school district to have it done. She also confirmed without me asking and without directly saying it, what I already knew, that even if he tests as learning disabled, they would take grades and performance into account as to what services he would receive - in other words, if he isn't failing there isn't a lot of support they can give him. Especially if we are relying on the neighboring school district for support, which we would be unless we re-enrolled him in our district.

Guess we'll stick with the private evaluation for now.

if i were you i would give a quick call to your individual state's department of education because some of this doesn't sound right.

the head of special education for my son's former district likely still shudders when she hears mention of my name b/c i questioned her claims of this nature to our state superintendent of education's office. the office stated 'no' what i was being told wasn't accurate and referred me to the ombudsmen in our state for guidance. a few calls later and i was instructed in how precisely to word an e-mail to the head (and who to prominently c.c. at different district and state levels).

it was amazing how quickly upon receiving my email she responded that she 'realized that' she 'had grossly misunderstood what you were requesting...apologize for any confusion...make arrangements at your earliest convenience to schedule an intake appointment...'

we had so many instances where we were told 'no' when state and federal law clearly read 'yes'. instances where we were told 'we never do that' only to find out that was because no one had ever asked for it before (and it worked spectacularly enough w/our son it's become a common practice). i get it, funds are tight with schools but a legitimate need is a legitimate need and if the law says it's to be provided then provide it.

 

[jaybirdsmommy]

if i were you i would give a quick call to your individual state's department of education because some of this doesn't sound right.

the head of special education for my son's former district likely still shudders when she hears mention of my name b/c i questioned her claims of this nature to our state superintendent of education's office. the office stated 'no' what i was being told wasn't accurate and referred me to the ombudsmen in our state for guidance. a few calls later and i was instructed in how precisely to word an e-mail to the head (and who to prominently c.c. at different district and state levels).

it was amazing how quickly upon receiving my email she responded that she 'realized that' she 'had grossly misunderstood what you were requesting...apologize for any confusion...make arrangements at your earliest convenience to schedule an intake appointment...'

we had so many instances where we were told 'no' when state and federal law clearly read 'yes'. instances where we were told 'we never do that' only to find out that was because no one had ever asked for it before (and it worked spectacularly enough w/our son it's become a common practice). i get it, funds are tight with schools but a legitimate need is a legitimate need and if the law says it's to be provided then provide it.

I have a good friend who is a special ed teacher and has a son with special needs. I'm going to give her a call and ask her what's what. If she says something different, I'll go higher up the food chain.

 

[barkley]

I have a good friend who is a special ed teacher and has a son with special needs. I'm going to give her a call and ask her what's what. If she says something different, I'll go higher up the food chain.

 

[Jennasis]

Those that say it is faster haven't thought it all the way through. Lifting the pen off the paper to move to the next letter doesn't take any more time than leaving the pen down. Your hand has to move anyway whether that transition is pen down or pen up. Further, the resistance of air to your movement is less than the resistance of paper to your pen. So it saves at best virtually nothing and at worst costs you. And for saving virtually nothing, the trade off is all those extra fancy loops cost a lot more time. It isn't faster at all That is a myth.

Whatever. It WAS invented not to be pretty, but to be efficient (and less fatigue on the hand. They wrote far, far more back when it was invented than we do now). I made no comment as to whether it actually IS more efficient. As another poster suggested, the efficiency may have quite a bit to do with the writer's proficiency at it. Much like the "prettiness" of it has a lot to do with whether the writer is good at it. I am not. My cursive is atrocious.

 

[Monykalyn]

Our public schools are excellent (oldest DS is in 10th grade, public all the way, no issues at all with his teachers ) but this kid just couldn't function. He needs the stricter, quieter setting that this school provides. He went from being such a behavior issue that the school wanted me to medicate him in kindergarten (5!!!!!!!) to being consistently rewarded for good behavior when we changed schools. When we went to visit the private school for the first time, the first thing he asked was "where's the color chart Mom? How do they know who the bad kids are?

The benefit of private for him is the small class size

This broke my heart! Good on you mama to recognize this

Right-handed people just don't understand the pain of the spiral part of the notebook

I dealt with 'normal' notebooks but had to place my notebook in an odd angle to be able to write in a comfortable way.

my mom literally writes upside down, in cursive, and is the neatest writing you will ever read. An RN who started at Cook County ER waaayyy back when, very detailed oriented. Yeah-nothing ever gets by her LOL

They know how to handle his anger, he types his notes that he needs to study and the school is stepping up and getting him involved in things. He is the Basketball manager and loving it

So Cool on being a Basketball manager!!

(Or, alternately, he could just be copying how right-handed friends do things!)

My husband is still convinced our youngest is lefty because we sat across from him to teach him stuff and his sister (oldest) sat next to him (she is also a lefty)

Those right handed spiral notebook makers are all righties jealous of the natural superiority of the left hander.

My mom's favorite saying "only left handers are in their right mind"-also she liked to point out the world is made for right handers LOL. something I never really thought about until I had two left handed kids.

we had so many instances where we were told 'no' when state and federal law clearly read 'yes'. instances where we were told 'we never do that' only to find out that was because no one had ever asked for it before (and it worked spectacularly enough w/our son it's become a common practice). i get it, funds are tight with schools but a legitimate need is a legitimate need and if the law says it's to be provided then provide it.

YES! Actually had sorta the same fight (no when law said yes) over maternity leave with a hospital HR no less...

OP-I hope you get him the evaluations without undo stress to you and family. Perhaps your son is gifted in areas as well-one of our son's teachers recommended he be tested for gifted program because some behaviors - not listening, acting out, good grades inconsistently-are because the child is bored in areas and can handle far more advanced material. Turns out my son loves math and is 2 grades above his current (teachers in middle school recommended he be place in the advanced class, but after meeting with them, we didn't pursue that due to his social anxiety. He is in an advanced program, but not the 2 grade above program).

I love that so many embrace the "quirky"!! This needs to become the norm instead of the cookie cutter mold of the past!

 

[BearFamily]

I learned something new today.

In addition to calling the psychologist, after I saw your post I thought maybe it wouldn't hurt to check with the city schools and see if they could evaluate him also. Figured it couldn't hurt to have 2 opinions. According to the head of special education, our local school district won't evaluate him, since the private school is physically located in a different district. We would have to go to the neighboring school district to have it done. She also confirmed without me asking and without directly saying it, what I already knew, that even if he tests as learning disabled, they would take grades and performance into account as to what services he would receive - in other words, if he isn't failing there isn't a lot of support they can give him. Especially if we are relying on the neighboring school district for support, which we would be unless we re-enrolled him in our district.

Guess we'll stick with the private evaluation for now.

I teach at a private school, and in our state, some of this is accurate. No matter where a student lives, the district in which our school is located is who does evaluations if a student is referred for evaluation. They usually come to our school to do them, though.

However, we are required to give supports that have demonstrated need through testing and are required by an IEP even if a student is not "failing". Some comes from our own special ed faculty, other services (speech, OT, PT) are done by outside providers sent by the county organizations. I would definitely keep asking other people about that one.

 

[DLgal]

I agree with Barkley. That phone call sounds like it was full of bad information.

What state is this, by the way?

First of all, it doesn't matter what district the private school is in. The district that is zoned for your address is "your" district and they are obligated to evaluate your child, whether he is a current student or not.

And, again, GRADES are not a qualifying criteria for special education services. The results of TESTING will determine if he has deficits in any areas and IEP goals will be written to address those. Your child could literally have an IEP for JUST speech services, or JUST occupational therapy, or JUST behavior goals. Letter grades never play into services, at all. My oldest son only has 2 academic goals related to reading comprehension and writing. The rest of his goals are social skills goals, life skills goals, and speech language pragmatic goals. These goals are written "in order to facilitate progress towards grade level standards and continue to benefit from academic instruction in the least restrictive environment." The entire purpose of an IEP is to allow a child to be educated alongside his peers, to the maximum extent possible, and to continue to make adequate grade level progress using the general curriculum.

Holding a child back is never as good as providing adequate support so that a child can continue moving forward academically. Holding children back has been studied extensively, and more often than not, has poor outcomes in the long run.

 

[LSUmiss]

I teach at a private school, and in our state, some of this is accurate. No matter where a student lives, the district in which our school is located is who does evaluations if a student is referred for evaluation. They usually come to our school to do them, though.

However, we are required to give supports that have demonstrated need through testing and are required by an IEP even if a student is not "failing". Some comes from our own special ed faculty, other services (speech, OT, PT) are done by outside providers sent by the county organizations. I would definitely keep asking other people about that one.

I’m sure it varies, but our district provides evals for people who live in the district regardless if they attend public or private schools. But, they have to live in the district.

 

[Wishing on a star]

I agree with the above.... that seems to be the correct info.
By FEDERAL law, the public school system is required to provide special needs eval and services to any child in their district.
I can not see that it is allowed to mandate a parent travel to take their child to another district. If each district has these services available, then they should provide for all children in that district.

And, yes, Private schools who do not receive State and Federal funding have no obligation to provide any services or consideration.

While grades should not be a real factor... and diagnosis should be what mandates services...
This response is probably still used all the time.

And, it is important to note that services mean MODIFICATION AND ACCOMMODATION....
These would be things like no requirement to write in cursive, or to write, by hand, extensively... which would then mean Notes Provided.
The public school system(s) are not required to provide any additional therapies or treatments.
Public schools are educational, not for treatment of any neurological or physical disabilities.

What the OP might be beginning to find out is that while IDEA and Federal law mandate these things.... actually going thru this process and GETTING these considerations is another story.

My son was diagnosed with visual processing disorder, and with mathematical reasoning deficits.
We actually encountered one SPED teacher... yes an actual SPED teacher... who was assigning my son to TAKE NOTES ON MATH.
I am not kidding.
It really can be that bad.

A parent often has to know their child's rights, their rights, and how to work the SPED / IEP system.

 

[verleniahall]

The notes in the planner are t a big issue - at keas5 to me - that was normal even when I was in school, and the teachers would tell you out loud in front of the class any missing assignments , issues, etc...

 

[LSUmiss]

I agree with Barkley. That phone call sounds like it was full of bad information.

What state is this, by the way?

First of all, it doesn't matter what district the private school is in. The district that is zoned for your address is "your" district and they are obligated to evaluate your child, whether he is a current student or not.

And, again, GRADES are not a qualifying criteria for special education services. The results of TESTING will determine if he has deficits in any areas and IEP goals will be written to address those. Your child could literally have an IEP for JUST speech services, or JUST occupational therapy, or JUST behavior goals. Letter grades never play into services, at all. My oldest son only has 2 academic goals related to reading comprehension and writing. The rest of his goals are social skills goals, life skills goals, and speech language pragmatic goals. These goals are written "in order to facilitate progress towards grade level standards and continue to benefit from academic instruction in the least restrictive environment." The entire purpose of an IEP is to allow a child to be educated alongside his peers, to the maximum extent possible, and to continue to make adequate grade level progress using the general curriculum.

Holding a child back is never as good as providing adequate support so that a child can continue moving forward academically. Holding children back has been studied extensively, and more often than not, has poor outcomes in the long run.

Grades are looked at here as part of the whole picture. It would never be the only deciding factor, but it is definitely heavily considered. Some things are dictated by federal guidelines & some can vary by state & district. Each exceptionality has its own criteria.

 

[kdonnel]

A parent often has to know their child's rights, their rights, and how to work the SPED / IEP system.

This is the most important advice in this thread.

I would only add that it is often necessary to hire an attorney to get the school system to provide any/all accommodations.

 

[LSUmiss]

Grades are looked at here as part of the whole picture. It would never be the only deciding factor, but it is definitely heavily considered. Some things are dictated by federal guidelines & some can vary by state & district. Each exceptionality has its own criteria.

 

[barkley]

I would only add that it is often necessary to hire an attorney to get the school system to provide any/all accommodations.

before going to the expense of hiring an attorney i would always suggest utilizing any local or state organizations such as special education ombudsman. a simple google search with the name of an individual state and 'special education resources' can provide a wealth of resources (and chapters local to an individual school district can be acutely aware of and prepared to deal with any potential misinformation/push back on the part of that district). there are minimum federal laws that states have to meet but individual states can have higher standards written into their state laws and educational codes which those of us in other states never dream exist (or just assume b/c it exists in our state it does everywhere else).