My wife has attended many IEP meetings. The ones where only the parents come the school runs all over them and the parents got no respect. The ones where they bring an advocat go a little better for the parents but they still get lots of push back from the school. The ones where an attorney comes with the parents go very differently. Suddenly accommodations are granted.
In our area good attorneys will flat out recommend parents utilize local advocacy groups before spending the money on attorney fees. The advocacy groups are much better versed in meshing the needs with the regulations and dotting all of the I's and crossing the T's with the school districts. The advocacy groups are quite knowledgeable in knowing when it's time to bring in legal reinforcement.
this is identical to what attorneys in both states we've lived in have supported. they know that certain advocacy groups know EXACTLY who at local and state levels to involve if there's the slightest perception that a student is not being given the full advantage of their legal rights. additionally, the advocates since they work with a wider pool of students in an individual school/district than an individual attorney who may have a lot in one school vs. none in another tend to be more aware of accommodations/iep components that HAVE been granted in the past so a schools initial 'oh we NEVER do that/we CAN'T provide that' doesn't go uncontested as easily (our district tried that on a major component of ds's IEP which we were able to counter w/the advocate's knowledge base was inaccurate-they DID do it but as a part of another non special ed program w/in the district-which ds could not be precluded from utilizing otherwise they would be discriminating against him based on disability).
none of this is to say that we went into iep meetings alone-we had an area advocate and either in person or via conference call asd doctors and therapists. i also made sure that the binder i carried into each meeting had a sheet taped to the cover (which i always set in front of me on the table for all to see) that had listed in
LARGE BOLD TYPE the names, phone numbers and extensions of the attorney we had spoken with, the head of the local board of education, the state superintendent of education (and his assistant's first name) and the state ombudsman.
I imagine it is very much regional.
Some school districts are going to lean towards doing the right thing despite the cost and others are going to lean towards fighting tooth and nail.
this is true but it's also true that districts have legal counsel that will run the numbers and advise when it's financially sound to push back vs. providing a much more cost effective solution.
it's also entirely possible that a district has no idea that their special ed people are denying services and wasting resources on meetings to argue about it. when the superintendent of our district learned of ds's situation he listened to both sides and immediately sided w/ours and said out loud he couldn't imagine why so much time and energy was being wasted on arguing over something that should/could/would be done
he prefers cursive to print.
my ds was exactly the same at that age. his occupational therapists contended it was easier on his hand vs. having to pick up the pencil to write each individual letter. his hand would get so tired and painful with all the demands of the school day though, so that's why he was ultimately provided with lecture notes, provided a small laptop to type and (we paid for at private school-public school provided when he started there) allowed to use a version of his math books that would show the identical problems but provide fill in the blanks worksheets for 'showing your work'. ds had gotten to the point that he could do complex math in his head (we are told this can be common adaptation for people with small motor issues that impair writing) but of course teachers want to see the work so this way he could do it in his head and just fill in the blanks of the worksheet (which you couldn't do if you hadn't mastered the concept). saved his hands for work that HAD to be handwritten (though it seems like most schools only wanted typed/electronically submitted once they hit middle school these days).
good luck op.