I'm apparently the bad guy (child vent ahead)

There you go. This quote is from a person that feels that the children should be removed from this mother's care if the reason for their misbehavior is at all related to a disability.

I'm not the one that said they should be removed for misbehaving. And I agree that the extreme rhetoric is ridiculous.

I happen to think there could any number of factors that led to the misbehavior. I think it is wrong to call out others parenting skills based on one episode of bad behavior.
I'm with you on example you posted. We went from mom being inattentive to her bratty kids, to the kids being on the spectrum and ignoring them was a behaviour-management technique, to mom herself being so profoundly handicapped that she's a danger to her kids?!? Only on the Dis...:faint:
 
I know there are exceptions but USUALLY an undisciplined child is a reflection of poor parenting. Did anyone watch JoJo on Supernanny? Wow. The families she worked with were in crisis because the parents let the kids run the show. JoJo had discipline strategies that helped the parents take back the reins. Sometimes a child was way out of control and just small changes - time out, direct communication, firmness, consistent expectations, etc. - would completely change things for the better.
 
I know there are exceptions but USUALLY an undisciplined child is a reflection of poor parenting. Did anyone watch JoJo on Supernanny? Wow. The families she worked with were in crisis because the parents let the kids run the show. JoJo had discipline strategies that helped the parents take back the reins. Sometimes a child was way out of control and just small changes - time out, direct communication, firmness, consistent expectations, etc. - would completely change things for the better.
I remember that show, and Nanny 911. They never featured families dealing with special needs kids; purposely I'm sure because those cases are not just discipline issues. But the cases they did show are exactly as you describe them - parents unwilling or ignorant of how to set and enforce reasonable boundaries for their kids' conduct. Too bad it's not on any more. I learned from it and I'm sure millions of other people did too.
 

I really just wonder what does it look like TO YOU to "control" something like that? What is your yardstick for measuring whether a parent is "doing enough" or not?
I believe it would start in a public space with other people with, "I'm sorry...." Not just sitting and completely ignoring it while the kid disrupts the entire population of others in said public space.
 
Children with disabilities can be taught to behave. It just takes some work from the parents.

My grandson has epilepsy and autism both. Your statement makes me wonder if you have dealt with a special needs child. I believe there is definitely a lot of lack of parenting these days and more than likely that is what the OP encountered from his description. But a blanket statement that all children with disabilities can be taught to behave shows lack of knowledge or experience to me.
 
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My grandson has epilepsy and autism both. Your statement makes me wonder if you have dealt with a special needs child. I believe there is definitely a lot of lack of parenting these days and more than likely that is what the OP encountered from his description. But a blanket statement that all children with disabilities can be taught to behave shows lack of knowledge or experience to me.

Epilepsy is very different from autism, so not responding to that ---

But, we have friends with two boys with fairly severe autism, and with much patience, love, soft voices, and consistent persistence, they have grown up well behaved - now in their late teens/early 20's. She is a SAHM and so full of love for those children, but has always been firm with helping and working with them to control their flares, and things that set them off. Yes, lots of work, but, oh so rewarding for them and the 'children'.
 
Epilepsy is very different from autism, so not responding to that ---

But, we have friends with two boys with fairly severe autism, and with much patience, love, soft voices, and consistent persistence, they have grown up well behaved - now in their late teens/early 20's. She is a SAHM and so full of love for those children, but has always been firm with helping and working with them to control their flares, and things that set them off. Yes, lots of work, but, oh so rewarding for them and the 'children'.
There are varying degrees in the spectrum of autism. What works for some does not work for others. You can't lump all in one basket. It truly is a unique problem and one that the general public does not fully understand. Our grandchild suffer brain damage from epilepsy that led to Autism. Not all cases are as simple as being firm and working with them.
 
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My grandson has epilepsy and autism both. Your statement makes me wonder if you have dealt with a special needs child. I believe there is definitely a lot of lack of parenting these days and more than likely that is what the OP encountered from his description. But a blanket statement that all children with disabilities can be taught to behave shows lack of knowledge or experience to me.

I have enough knowledge to tell you that a mother sitting on a train, watching her two children rip up newspaper, screaming, and thrashing next to other riders is not trying hard enough.

According to the OP, she did nothing. Just sat there. Didn't say a word.

Sorry. Try harder.
 
I have enough knowledge to tell you that a mother sitting on a train, watching her two children rip up newspaper, screaming, and thrashing next to other riders is not trying hard enough.

According to the OP, she did nothing. Just sat there. Didn't say a word.

Sorry. Try harder.

Yes, in that situation, if portrayed accurately, it appears she wasn't trying.

However, the thread has morphed to discussing all children in all situations. And "behave" means different things to different people.
 
Personally for me I try not to judge situations like that or say anything unless it's a recurring issue which affects my every day life. I am in a similar situation with my neighbor's 2 German shepherds that bark nonstop ALL DAY LONG in nice weather, nonstop, literally and they do nothing to stop it, stand right next to their dogs outside and still nothing to stop them. I love dogs, have them myself, other neighbors do, expect barking but these dogs do it literally all day long, bark at every single thing they see or hear. But at least it was a one time occurrence for you, so understand but would just count your blessings that you don't have to be around it every day, lol.
 
Children with disabilities can be taught to behave. It just takes some work from the parents.

I have enough knowledge to tell you that a mother sitting on a train, watching her two children rip up newspaper, screaming, and thrashing next to other riders is not trying hard enough.

According to the OP, she did nothing. Just sat there. Didn't say a word.

Sorry. Try harder.

I am addressing your blanket statement that all children with disabilities can be taught to behave not the OP's situation. Your statement had nothing to do with the OP's post it only addressed children with disabilities. Until you've walked a mile in someone's shoes that has special needs children don't judge. You do not know their situation. Each and every case is different. Unless they walk around with a sign on them advertising their needs you wouldn't know in many cases. Take the adult route and be compassionate and understanding. Those children want to be loved and understood just as any other child. It isn't what the parents or the children signed up for but it is what God handed them.
 
It isn't what the parents or the children signed up for but it is what God handed them.
While I generally agree with your other points not all persons who have a disability are born with them sometimes they develop one or multiple as a result of something in their life. And while I do understand you may have personal feelings towards disabilities, at least in this board, it's probably best to leave religion out of it.
 
While I generally agree with your other points not all persons who have a disability are born with them sometimes they develop one or multiple as a result of something in their life. And while I do understand you may have personal feelings towards disabilities, at least in this board, it's probably best to leave religion out of it.

My grandson was not born with it. He was a normal 2 year old when he started having over 100 seizures daily. Through the years the seizures caused brain damage. He is now 11. Just got diagnosed with Autism late last year. He looks like an 11 year old but runs at a 3-4 year old level. Believe me, I know not all are born with them. My daughter outgrew her seizures but had no lasting affects like him. I've been through it as a parent as well. Please, don't misconstrue my comment that it is what God has chosen for them. It was not meant to add another debate into this. It is my feelings. I didn't expect anyone to run away with that comment. How about.......my grandson and daughter did not choose the path they were given but instead are making the best of what they have. It is some people in society that refuse or just don't believe that sometimes things are out of their control and it's a shame.
 
My grandson was not born with it. He was a normal 2 year old when he started having over 100 seizures daily. Through the years the seizures caused brain damage. He is now 11. Just got diagnosed with Autism late last year. He looks like an 11 year old but runs at a 3-4 year old level. Believe me, I know not all are born with them. My daughter outgrew her seizures but had no lasting affects like him. I've been through it as a parent as well. Please, don't misconstrue my comment that it is what God has chosen for them. It was not meant to add another debate into this. It is my feelings. I didn't expect anyone to run away with that comment. How about.......my grandson and daughter did not choose the path they were given but instead are making the best of what they have. It is some people in society that refuse or just don't believe that sometimes things are out of their control and it's a shame.
If you read my earlier posts you'll find my own experience with those around me that have disabilities..mostly meaning my cousin who developed a high fever which resulted in brain damage which manifested mostly in a cognitive disability.

It wasn't running away with your comment but religion is a no-no topic anyways on this board and while we can usually stretch that rule (i.e. "my close friend gave me a bible" thread) your comment, and I have no doubt is your personal feelings which is fine I'm not about to tell you your feelings are wrong by any means, it just seemed best to not to make that sort of a blanket religious statement is all on this board. I don't think that was your intention though.
 
Personally for me I try not to judge situations like that or say anything unless it's a recurring issue which affects my every day life. I am in a similar situation with my neighbor's 2 German shepherds that bark nonstop ALL DAY LONG in nice weather, nonstop, literally and they do nothing to stop it, stand right next to their dogs outside and still nothing to stop them. I love dogs, have them myself, other neighbors do, expect barking but these dogs do it literally all day long, bark at every single thing they see or hear. But at least it was a one time occurrence for you, so understand but would just count your blessings that you don't have to be around it every day, lol.
Those dogs need to learn how to behave!!!!!

All dogs can be taught how to behave. At all times. In every situation. Even if they have a disability.
 













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