If you invite someone to a church function, are you trying to get them to join?

[goofygirl]

I go to a lot of events at a big church near me because I like fairs, music, bingo, etc. I don't feel any pressure from them at all. At the events, there's a table with literature in case anyone's interested, and I see nothing wrong with that.

 

[goofygirl]

yes, there are people that want this all on their own.

I can verify for that, I am one of those people. I will pick up a pamphlet about your church, I may or may not want to join, but I will read it mainly because I am fascinated by what different faiths believe and how they worship, etc.

 

[mom2boys]

Our Catholic church is like most that other Catholics have described. When we have a social function, it is just that. There may be an admission cost to cover the cost of the function and raise a few $. Or it may be an outright fundraiser - such as our annual auction. No one tries to recruit or convert anyone at these functions.
My kids went to a Methodist preschool. It was made clear that the children would be taught about God and Jesus - if you didn't want your kid to learn that, it was clearly stated that this was not the preschool for your family. That church never tried to "lure" or recruit us. We did attend the annual egg hunt a couple of times and they have a huge Christmas Bazaar with many craft booths. I was very comfortable with my kids there - they were never taught anything that contradicted our religion.

 

[momof2inPA]

My friends come with us to our Church picnic, but they just come for the beer and the bouncy castle, and no one talks to them about converting.

 

[rt2dz]

Well, let's see...Why not throw my two cents in?

If I invite someone to a social function at church, I'm not in any way trying to get them to attend. Our social functions are purely social. There is no prayer. There is no literature handed out on our church. There is no filling out of forms. There is no one walking around and asking if you attend or trying to get you to attend. I DO invite people to these events, and I don't even know if they are christian. I simply think they might like them.

Then there are the invents that are christian based. Here there may or may not be a form to fill out. Usually not. Still no literature passed out. About all anyone is going to do is say a prayer and have a godly focus. I would invite someone who I thought might enjoy the event (usually it is a speaker of some type) and I know is christian. But not to get them to join our church. And no one is going to approach them about joining either. No one will show up at your house or phone you. You might get something in the mail announcing the next such event if you filled out a form--but nothing else. You know, you saw speaker X. When speaker Y is coming, you'll get a postcard saying speaker Y is coming and when--period.

Now if I thought someone might like our church and they are looking for a church, I will invite them to a weekend service. You still won't get approached in any way from our church unless you fill out a form requesting to be contacted, which is in every church bulletin. And hardly deceptive. Heck, our church asks visitors to refrain from giving in the offering basket--for regular attenders only.

Part of what I love about our church (in the south) is that it is sooooo low key. It has a lot going on all the time, but is never trying to push anyone into joining or giving. Our church does not even do fundraisers. Everything is donated or comes from the offering. When our church was started about 12 years ago, it was started to intentionally do away with what people didn't like about church--based on a huge survey that was done at the time. People didn't like to dress up, so our church is casual (yes, many wear shorts & t-shirts). Our music is upbeat. No asking for money at every turn. No high pressure tatics to join. We have 4 Sunday services (one that does offer the traditional music) and a Saturday service so no one would even know if you were a member or not.

Anyhow, I don't think your neighbors are trying to push you into joining. Maybe they want to introduce you to their church if they never ask you to do ANYTHING else, but again, I doubt it's a membership drive. Maybe I'm being egocentric though. If anyone does approach you, simply say what I say to those mormans that show up at my door--"We have a church that we love & are involved in, thank you." It's polite and to the point. They just say "ok" and walk away.

 

[MissSixty]

When I was a kid, a neighbor lady's kids were attending a "Kid" function of some sort at their Baptist church. My mom let us go with.
The pastor screamed from the pulpit and washed our feet. Being a kid, I didn't know I could say no. My mom was horrified she allowed us to go.
There are a few I work with that make it clear they believe its a sin to cut your hair (female) and wear pants and they are always trying to get the most clueless folks to come to their prayer groups. Clearly they are targeting the slower witted bunch, which is oh so wrong in so many ways

 

[challada]

When I was a kid, a neighbor lady's kids were attending a "Kid" function of some sort at their Baptist church. My mom let us go with.
The pastor screamed from the pulpit and washed our feet. Being a kid, I didn't know I could say no. My mom was horrified she allowed us to go.
There are a few I work with that make it clear they believe its a sin to cut your hair (female) and wear pants and they are always trying to get the most clueless folks to come to their prayer groups. Clearly they are targeting the slower witted bunch, which is oh so wrong in so many ways

Wow, MissSixty...you and I must have had the same neighbor! I also attended one of those Baptist "kid" functions where we got yelled at and dunked (and more fun stuff too). I remember crying endlessly because my little catholic church only made us kneel sometimes instead of stand compared to screaming at us until we "heard the voices". Maybe that's what has jaded my view of "invitations" to church since then! LOL!

As far as my comment on the $$$, I'll stick w/what I originally said. Yes, the church is there to get some of your $$$...this is not an urban myth, but a BUSINESS MODEL...they sure wouldn't be in business long if they DIDN'T take people's money! Yes, it's subtle, but it's there. And, yes, that is part of why churches continue to need new folks!

 

[Zippa D Doodah]

Well, let's see...Why not throw my two cents in?

If I invite someone to a social function at church, I'm not in any way trying to get them to attend. Our social functions are purely social. There is no prayer. There is no literature handed out on our church. There is no filling out of forms. There is no one walking around and asking if you attend or trying to get you to attend. I DO invite people to these events, and I don't even know if they are christian. I simply think they might like them.

Then there are the invents that are christian based. Here there may or may not be a form to fill out. Usually not. Still no literature passed out. About all anyone is going to do is say a prayer and have a godly focus. I would invite someone who I thought might enjoy the event (usually it is a speaker of some type) and I know is christian. But not to get them to join our church. And no one is going to approach them about joining either. No one will show up at your house or phone you. You might get something in the mail announcing the next such event if you filled out a form--but nothing else. You know, you saw speaker X. When speaker Y is coming, you'll get a postcard saying speaker Y is coming and when--period.

Now if I thought someone might like our church and they are looking for a church, I will invite them to a weekend service. You still won't get approached in any way from our church unless you fill out a form requesting to be contacted, which is in every church bulletin. And hardly deceptive. Heck, our church asks visitors to refrain from giving in the offering basket--for regular attenders only.

Part of what I love about our church (in the south) is that it is sooooo low key. It has a lot going on all the time, but is never trying to push anyone into joining or giving. Our church does not even do fundraisers. Everything is donated or comes from the offering. When our church was started about 12 years ago, it was started to intentionally do away with what people didn't like about church--based on a huge survey that was done at the time. People didn't like to dress up, so our church is casual (yes, many wear shorts & t-shirts). Our music is upbeat. No asking for money at every turn. No high pressure tatics to join. We have 4 Sunday services (one that does offer the traditional music) and a Saturday service so no one would even know if you were a member or not.

Anyhow, I don't think your neighbors are trying to push you into joining. Maybe they want to introduce you to their church if they never ask you to do ANYTHING else, but again, I doubt it's a membership drive. Maybe I'm being egocentric though. If anyone does approach you, simply say what I say to those mormans that show up at my door--"We have a church that we love & are involved in, thank you." It's polite and to the point. They just say "ok" and walk away.

Your two cents are priceless

This fairly describes the situation of many typical churches that I know of. I am still not sure why some people on this thread feels so dog-gone certain that there must be something insiduous about it. Thanks for describing your church in detail.

 

[JoyG]

Seems to me there's a simple answer to the OP's situation...

Why don't you attend the dinner with your neighbors without dh and then let your dh know if there was a hard sell or not? If there's a hard sell you'll know once and for all to refuse future offers, if not, maybe dh will see he can feel free to accept a future offer.

FWIW, I doubt there will be a hard sell at a dinner. There will probably be a blessing said before you eat, but that's about all. Depending on who you sit with at dinner you might experience some "getting to know you conversation" such as "What do you do?" or possibly, "Do you go to church?" You can avoid those questions by sitting with your neighbors who already know you and probably have asked you those questions before.

 

[Sylvester McBean]

my wife and I aren't religious in the slightest and we allow my daughter to attend different churches with her friends so she can grow up and make her own decisions. we've never been approached by the parents. I played baseball for a Catholic league up until high school, never got approached. when we moved here, some people we met asked if we had found a church yet, which I found a little intrusive. the only thing I can't stand is the people that ring your doorbell inviting you to their church.