If you invite someone to a church function, are you trying to get them to join?

[cardaway]

Another Catholic here -- I agree with those who've said there's no recruitment at social functions with our church. I've had neighbors and friends (non-Catholics) come with us to fish frys and poker nights and festivals and they've never felt like they were being recruited for anything.

Is it possible this is less of an issue at Catholic churches due to the many things that are unique about the Catholic religion?

Is it true that anybody who was to join the church would have to do more than just show up and join correct? If I'm right, I think that explains quite well why things would be different in that case.

 

[disneynutt1225]

Is it possible this is less of an issue at Catholic churches due to the many things that are unique about the Catholic religion?

Is it true that anybody who was to join the church would have to do more than just show up and join correct? If I'm right, I think that explains quite well why things would be different in that case.

Basically if you want to become a Catholic, it's a lengthy process. My DFi is doing it now, and he really had to think about it before he went ahead and signed up for the classes - RCIA. He's been in classes since September and he'll be considered Catholic in June.

 

[Jennasis]

PS...When I was growing up (born and raised Roman Catholic) I was never ever recruited at any event we attended. When I moved to the south 3 years ago, it is a non-stop church-fest! Even when We are not at a church sponsored event. Around here it is primarily Baptists, Methodists and some presbyterians.

 

[caitycaity]

I don't see anything wrong with Churches or any other organization inviting people to join them.

there's a big difference between that and what i assume mike is talking about. sometimes it is innocent and you are able to politely decline. other times it definitely does have a cult-like strong-arm quality to it. i don't have a problem with the former, just the latter.

 

[Bob Slydell]

Is it possible this is less of an issue at Catholic churches due to the many things that are unique about the Catholic religion?

Is it true that anybody who was to join the church would have to do more than just show up and join correct? If I'm right, I think that explains quite well why things would be different in that case.

Yes, it's true. To become a Catholic, there's more involved than just joining the church. I can't compare it to other religions, though, as I've been a Catholic since birth, so that's all I can speak to.

 

[Pigeon]

I tend to side with the OP's husband. If people just want to socialize with you, why would they need to drag their religion into it? I've been on the other end of it--I've had ministers encourage the congregation to bring people to church events with the clear intent of getting new members. I was never comfortable with that and told the ministers so.

I was raised Catholic, but am not one now. Recently, my dd was invited to go to a church supper at a Catholic church with one of her friends, which was supposed to just be dinner and some kickball afterward in the gym. We are never falling for that one again. She came home with all sorts of Lent related paraphenalia, and essentially the evening was one big Catholic religious ed session. It took a few hours to undo the results of that evening.

 

[robinb]

Am I out to lunch here? Are they doing it only because they want to "lure us in" LOL to quote husband.

I'm answering without reading what other people have said...

As an atheist I view all such invitations as opportunistic. FWIW, the last "church function" I was at was a Wiccan Solstice celebration in a Unitarian church, LOL!

 

[Aidensmom]

I have invited people to things like our Fall Festival just because it is a fun family thing to do. Even though there is always information available at these events about the church for those who are looking for it (yes, there are people that want this all on their own. ), there is no active recruitment process going on.

I also have invited friends or family whom I know are actively looking for a church to attend to either our services or to on of our "Life Groups", which is a smaller group that meets in someone's home once a week. When I do this, it is because they are looking for a church already.

 

[cardaway]

there's a big difference between that and what i assume mike is talking about. sometimes it is innocent and you are able to politely decline. other times it definitely does have a cult-like strong-arm quality to it. i don't have a problem with the former, just the latter.

Yes, except I wasn't really talking about strong arm tactics because that is one thing I've never seen (Jennasis' story was interesting though). Maybe that's because I am the bigger one, not the one that can be strong armed?

IMO it's all about looking at what the siuation is. Has the person asked more than once after you politely declined? Does the person know your situation and is aksing anyway? Is this a total stranger just assuming their religion is the only right one and not even asking if your feelings before witnessing?

Once again, I'm not saying honest to goodness invitations exist. I've been to churches many times because they do exist. There is also the other kind, been to many events like that too.

 

[mickeyfan2]

I have gone with friends who I knew were not trying to convert me. I was just visiting. When the pastor came by to introduce himself to me and started with a spiel I just told him, "I am Catholic and I am not converting. I am just here with my friend who I am visiting." He then just left knowing I was a "lost cause".

 

[mickeyfan2]

Is it possible this is less of an issue at Catholic churches due to the many things that are unique about the Catholic religion?

Is it true that anybody who was to join the church would have to do more than just show up and join correct? If I'm right, I think that explains quite well why things would be different in that case.

In the Catholic Church you cannot just show up sign and paper and become Catholic. It is a process that you do to see if our faith is for you. So this may have much to do with the Catholic Church not being so pushy. If asked questions about my religion I will answer them and if somebody wants to attend mass with me I would be happy to have them join me. I would try to explain what they are seeing and show they what they can participate in as a non-Catholic.

 

[Disney Doll]

Is it possible this is less of an issue at Catholic churches due to the many things that are unique about the Catholic religion?

Is it true that anybody who was to join the church would have to do more than just show up and join correct? If I'm right, I think that explains quite well why things would be different in that case.

You may be right. There are more "steps" involved in becoming a Catholic as an adult...religious instruction & Baptism, then Communion, Confirmation etc. that it makes it much more of a commitment of time and effort to join, so maybe it makes people think about it more.

Please don't take that to mean that I think Catholics are more committed to their religion than other religious groups...that is not what I am saying. What I am saying is that to become a Catholic, you have to jump through more "hoops" than in other religions. I have friends who left the Catholic church and went to a Christian Congregational church, and the church elders were basically like "OK, come on in". Not that that is a bad thing, but much easier than the Catholic conversion process.

 

[Disney Doll]

there's a big difference between that and what i assume mike is talking about. sometimes it is innocent and you are able to politely decline. other times it definitely does have a cult-like strong-arm quality to it. i don't have a problem with the former, just the latter.

I agree withyou, and if I went to a church-sponsored function where that strong-arm tactic was used, I would probably say to the person who was strong-arming me "Now, I came here for a nice event, and your behavior has completely turned me off to staying here or ever joining this church". Then I'd leave. They'd get the message.

I have been known to say that to the over-zealous Catholics I have encountered throughout my life. Sometimes I have even been known to say "Stop jamming your religious beliefs down my throat". Much more blunt, but equally as effective.

That being said, the person would have to be extremely over-zealous for me to say that, because in general, I find it interesting to hear about other folks' religious beliefs, even if they differ from mine. I have never had a terrible experience with any organized religion, so I am not anti-organized religion, as some peole are who may have had a bad experience.

 

[Disney Doll]

I'm answering without reading what other people have said...

As an atheist I view all such invitations as opportunistic. FWIW, the last "church function" I was at was a Wiccan Solstice celebration in a Unitarian church, LOL!

Which must have been fascinating!!!! I have always found the Wiccan religion to be fascinating, and have probably incorporated parts of it into my overall belief system or spirituality, even though I consider my self basically a Catholic.

 

[mickeysgal]

In reality, you are being invited to a social function that your neighbors think you might enjoy. I am assuming you are friendly with your neighbors and perhaps have had cookouts/bbq's with them in the past or been social with them in some way so that this "church invitation" isn't completely out of left field. Otherwise the whole invitation would just be plain weird AND suspect (if you normally don't socialize with them).

HOWEVER, once you are at this innocent social event (Bingo, BBQ, picnic, ballgame etc...) do not be surprised if you are approached by other members of the congregation or even the minister/pastor himself and asked about joining the church on a regular basis, or about you religious affiliations etc. It may not be a "recruitment" event, but when some of the more zealous members see a new face they may strike up a religious-based conversation in an attempt to convince you how great their church is. It happens to us at almost every event we go to (here in NC you can't drive a mile without passing 5 churches...all Baptist, and they have chicken suppers and bbq's all the time which we often go to).

If your husband is uncomfortable with defending his decision to stay at your current church (or not go to church) then I would politely decline the offer, because I have YET to go to a SINGLE church sponsored event where I haven't been harangued by some member of the congregation about joining. We still go because we find their attempts kind of funny (DH and I are in a VERY good place with our faith and do not attend any church.)

I absolutely agree with this. While your neighbors intentions may be completely on the up and up, there no doubt will be those members at the function that will approach you with membership/recuitment on their mind. Its happened to us each and every time we attend a function or service at a neighboring church. We must look like we need saving because we attract them like flies I really wish churches would encourage their members to back off a bit. They may be just friendy and mean well but it can sometimes be so pushy and intrusive. If I wanted to join or was interested, I'll ask. But please let me ask first!

 

[mickeysgal]

PS...When I was growing up (born and raised Roman Catholic) I was never ever recruited at any event we attended. When I moved to the south 3 years ago, it is a non-stop church-fest! Even when We are not at a church sponsored event. Around here it is primarily Baptists, Methodists and some presbyterians.

Maybe this explains why posters on this thread have had different experiences. We've lived in the north and the south and definitely the south has it on the church involvement. Which is not to say its a totally bad thing. I have noticed that each church we've tried in the south ends with one or more people starting the "Welcome...we'd like you to join us" speech. They mean well, but sometimes it is pushy and makes us uncomfortable. Especially when you live in a small town where you live and work with everyone. Nothing like the old response of "Gee boss, I don't want to join your church...its not for us". Doesn't make for a good relationship at work. Thats why we're very, very careful where we go to church and what functions we go to at other churches.

 

[bubie2.5]

Our neighbours have invited us to a few of their church functions, but my husband refuses to go because he truly believes they just want to get us involved with their church.

I agree with him.

 

[ead79]

I certainly can’t speak for all churches, but I can tell you about what you would likely find if you were invited to a function at my church.

If the function was a social function like a fall family festival for kids or something along those lines, there would not be a “hard sell” of any type. The pastor would likely make a small statement welcoming everyone and inviting them to come to the church on Sunday if they would like. There might be a short prayer. That would be it.

If the function was a more worship-oriented function like our Easter passion play, then attendees would hear a strongly religious message presented in the drama. Of course, I think that’s something people assume if they attend since a passion play (re-telling of the life of Christ with actors and music) is obviously a religious event.

Our church is always happy to get new members, but we don’t strong-arm anybody. I don’t really agree with that methodology personally.

 

[brerrabbit]

I am a member of the Metodist Church and we have a ton of social events. We invite all sorts of people but I can honestly say we do not actively recruit at these functions. Rather than recruit we offer fellowship and interesting activities that we hope people will enjoy. If at some point they enjoy being around other people from the church then they might consider joining but are never recruited or strong armed into joining. We offer programs for children of all ages, scarpbooking, working one weekend a month at Habitat for Humanity, Mission trips to Mexico to build homes and schools, musical programs, musicals, plays, etc. We have even started a Sunday evening Country Music Program. We have a house band and almost every week we have a guest entertainer, and in two weeks it will be Kevin Black, Clint Blacks brother.

I will agree that yes these events are aimed at bringing people to God. However, we as a congregation agree 100% that that is your personal decision and we will never pressure anyone into that decision. We have numerous folks that have come to events and the occasional Sunday service for years and have never joined the church. Thats fine were just glad that they can come and socialize with like minded people.

And in the end yes what we are doing is the same thing as any group that is looking to increase its membership by recruiting new members. We just happen to think that the benifits from our organization have eternal rewards.

 

[poohandwendy]

I can totally see the point Cardaway is making, as a Christian I have many times been put in an uncomfortable position by a rabid, overzealous person trying to strongarm me into joining their congregation. It is a turn-off.

But the way I see it, this conversation is about attending a church function. If you really, truly do not want to be approached or cornered in any way about your religious beliefs or given the 'sell' about their specific church, you really are better off not attending a church function.

You really can't have it both ways, I want to go but I don't want anyone to passionately discuss religion or joining their church with me. It's just unrealistic because you cannot control other people and when in a church, you are going to have people with strong religious beliefs, some with a desire to let you know how wonderful their church is and some of them may be really, really pushy.

For the record, most churches are full of people who leave it up to you and do not bother you with the hard sell...you won't notice them because they won't be the ones cornering you. There is nothing morally wrong with people wanting to add to their congregation and their is nothing wrong with them using their own church functions to spread the word. No one is forced to enter the doors.

If I really, really want to avoid being around people who speak German in my presence, I stay out of Germany.