If you didnt work

[2BigKIdz]

I was so excited to be off for 12 weeks of maternity leave I just knew it would be wonderful to be off work so long. But the first two weeks I thought I would lose my mind I was so bored, I wanted to go back to work! But after the first couple of weeks I started going out more and by the time my maternity leave was over I was actually enjoying being at home.

If I had plenty of money I could easily not work.

 

[mefordis]

I tell my daughter all the time that she better not make me spend all that money on a college degree and then stay at home!

I want my daughter to get a degree, but once she has kids (if she does) I really hope she will choose to stay home to be with them like I am. I wouldn't want to see my grandchildren in daycare all day!

I personally don't know any moms who continue to work if they have kids and don't need the money.

 

[mhsjax]

I would go nuts if I could no longer contribute. I never want to stop doing that, paid or unpaid.

So are you saying that if you don't work outside the home, you aren't contributing? Really just asking, because that is what I am hearing.

 

[SaraJayne]

I have been a SAHM for 95% of our 16 year marriage and have contributed just as much to our family as my DH has. I just don't get paid for it.

My DH is happier, my kids are happier and most importantly, I'm happier.

 

[Cantw8]

and there it is... you are a crappy mom if you work and worthless if you don't. When will women ever see each other's side and respect each other's choices and drop all the superiority

 

[low-key]

and there it is... you are a crappy mom if you work and worthless if you don't. When will women ever see each other's side and respect each other's choices and drop all the superiority

I think the deciding factor is how good the women cooks

 

[Princess on the Run]

and there it is... you are a crappy mom if you work and worthless if you don't. When will women ever see each other's side and respect each other's choices and drop all the superiority

Yes!

I almost replied 3 times and didn't because the minute it becomes working mom vs SAHM you know someone's itching to pick a fight. Women should stop being defensive and stop judging and just do what works for you.

Whether *I* think an education is wasted on someone who stays home is irrelevant. Whether someone else thinks I'm a crap mom because I don't volunteer for hot dog day is equally irrelevant. Put the claws away, ladies. It doesn't have to be a competition.

 

[Cantw8]

I think the deciding factor is how good the women cooks

That's the same mentality that causes you to wear socks with sandals...ya damn caveman

 

[Robbi]

That's the same mentality that causes you to wear socks with sandals...ya damn caveman

As far as the SAHM vs working mom, I think whatever works for you and your family is the right choice. We all contribute in our own ways. One is not better than the other because every family and every woman is different.

 

[Shugardrawers]

I alaaaawys thought the answer would be no but I've been not wrking due to healh reasons the last 5 or 6 years and I can say I really AM going nut!

 

[dogluva]

I want my daughter to get a degree, but once she has kids (if she does) I really hope she will choose to stay home to be with them like I am. I wouldn't want to see my grandchildren in daycare all day!

I personally don't know any moms who continue to work if they have kids and don't need the money.

Not all working parents' kids spend their days in daycare! Yes some moms work even if they don't need to because they actually find enjoyment from their jobs! Why is it always the mothers???

 

[dogluva]

I think the deciding factor is how good the women cooks

And how well your laundry is folded or the number of activities your kids are in.

 

[dogluva]

The question asked for a personal answer . I answered that way. To me, not using MY degrees would be a waste . I really don't care what others do with there's.

 

[aprilgail2]

So she graduates college at 21 and gets a job. She works for 10 years or so before getting pregnant, and she decides she wants to stay home, you would be angry?

I wouldn't be "angry" but I would hope she would not stay at home after having kids. Maybe take a year off but get back to the swing of things after that!

 

[dogluva]

I wouldn't be "angry" but I would hope she would not stay at home after having kids. Maybe take a year off but get back to the swing of things after that!

I would be angry! Why bother getting an education if you are not going to use it? Please, I am not using my Ed degrees to stay home and help my kids with their homework . I could have done that without them.

 

[Saphire]

So are you saying that if you don't work outside the home, you aren't contributing? Really just asking, because that is what I am hearing.

No, not at all. I never want to retire/stop working, but what I mean is I never want to stop contributing in some way. I want to continue to do something outside myself, something that benefits others. That could be paid or unpaid, in the home or outside the home.

 

[mhsjax]

No, not at all. I never want to retire/stop working, but what I mean is I never want to stop contributing in some way. I want to continue to do something outside myself, something that benefits others. That could be paid or unpaid, in the home or outside the home.

Got it.

 

[powellrj]

I always thought I would work until I was much older, but sometimes life has different plans for you.

I thought I would go nuts staying home, but I find there still aren't enough hours in the day to get things done, they are just different things that need to be done.

Since I now help out with my mom who has dementia, I never knew anyone who took 2 hours to get dressed and can spend 3 hours at Kroger! Add lunch and drive-time and that is pretty much a days work! My DD is still in high school and has some activity every night, there are some days I wonder how I ever had time to work!

 

[MIGrandma]

Totally agree.

Exactly. I'm sorry, between the two of us, cleaning the entire house takes less than 2 hours a week (2 and a half if we clean all the windows, interior and exterior). Laundry takes little to zero effort if you don't let it pile up and then have to waste your whole day doing it. Dumping the laundry basket and sorting it into piles takes 2 minutes, tops, and folding takes less than five.

As for the OP's question... yeah, I would go batty if I didn't work. Thankfully, I have an avocation that will keep me busy and "working" (happily!) probably until I die, so I'll never run the risk of that soul-sucking drudgery.

You must have a very small house, or an apartment, if it takes you so little time to clean it. It takes me a couple of hours or more just to clean the floors, say nothing about window washing. That job alone would take all day to do inside and out.

No, not at all. I never want to retire/stop working, but what I mean is I never want to stop contributing in some way. I want to continue to do something outside myself, something that benefits others. That could be paid or unpaid, in the home or outside the home.

I understand what you mean. I feel that I still "contribute" since I am now able to help DH on the farm a lot more. I can drop whatever I'm doing to help out when he needs it. And I babysit a lot more often which helps our DD. Plus when I stopped working outside the home I pretty much took over the task of mowing the lawn, which takes over 2 hours so I "earn my keep" with that as well.

 

[aprilgail2]

I would be angry! Why bother getting an education if you are not going to use it? Please, I am not using my Ed degrees to stay home and help my kids with their homework . I could have done that without them.

Well i just hope my daughter follows her dreams and has a career that she loves and wont want to give up to stay home with the kids! I will be available to take care of them while she works-it would be my pleasure to watch my grandkids-