I was yelled at after Finding Nemo - was I wrong?

[Queen2PrincessG]

I would have removed her. I have asthma and honestly being in a crowded area makes me feel worse. I too question putting daughter on a medicine like Qvar (that's what i take) to control the attacks. It really has helped but I will say that the Florida humidity especially in the early am and afternoon are a killer and I've had to use my rescue inhaler a few times.
Also having a cold when you have mod to severe asthma is VERY taxing on the body, lungs and heart. I'm not sue how
comfy i would be having my child do outside things.
Why do people get so offended over comments like this. It's just someones opinion essentially, just say, "yes, hindsight is indeed 20/20" and move on with your vaca.

 

[deuceswild10]

I think I would have left. Not only to spare others the disruption, but to tend to my daughter in a more appropriate location.

OP, I do hope your daughter is doing better now.

 

[mybabesuz]

I would have left the show with my child.
Listening to coughing of any kind during a show is extremely annoying.

You certainly didn't need to be yelled at though.

I hope the rest of your trip is better.

 

[Suzanne74]

I think I would have left. Not only to spare others the disruption, but to tend to my daughter in a more appropriate location.

OP, I do hope your daughter is doing better now.

I agree. I am sorry your daughter has asthma and had an attack but in my opinion, letting her sit there to cough thru a show is kinda rude to the others that came to see the show. I could see how that would be irritating. It is one thing if it was in an airplane or a place you couldn't remove yourself. But you could have left and chose not to. My guess is so that you didn't have to disrupt YOUR family that wanted to see the show. But by doing that, you chose not to worry or care about it disrupting others.

 

[kmedina]

I am sorry that she approached you and yelled at you in front of your daughter. That must have been scary for her when others were attacking you. If she has an asthma attack again, I would find a nice, cool place away from the show to care for her through the remainder of the attack. That is for you as much as them, so you do not have to hear from people who disagree with you letting her stay inside the show. You know your kid better than anyone else. Ignore the screaming man who persumes he knows better than you, since he's had five kids. I hope your daughter feels better soon.

 

[tweedlemom]

OP was out of line in staying at a show with a coughing daughter. She should have gone to a restaurant and sat in the cool area, back to room or first aide station.

I honestly think the person did o.k. saying something but IF that person yelled that was out of line. We are only hearing OP's part of story. Imagine you paids $$$$ for your trip to Disney, you take your small child who is excited to see the Nemo show. You wait in line, wait for the show and then some person who is very inconsiderate brings a hacking, coughing child to this show and you can't enjoy. You have no way of knowing this is asthma (but even then the OP should have left and not gone to show). You don't know if this kid is going to make your child or you sick. I certainly would have had no problem in a nice tone saying something how the coughing was very disruptive and suggest going to get something for the child. It ruined the show for people, they were frustrated. I think this might be a case of something being blown way out of proportion but that can't be proven. I think there was nothing wrong with saying something as long as it was in a calm tone.

I think OP was completely selfish and rude. It is like going to a movie and having people talk thru it. How many of you would ask someone to be quiet if they were talking...kind along those lines. Maybe that person who said something should have gone to CM and said something. It was not fair for that person to move. I imagine parks are kind of crowded now with spring breaks going on ...IDK what wait times are now but I'd have been mad like the person who said something.

OP I honestly hope your child is doing better. Asthma is a scary thing (my sister had it as a child and my nephew has now). I think you were very wrong and I don't think person did anything wrong. If you were in their shoes and someone was talking or coughing through a show you probably would have said something.

Anyway don't let it ruin your trip....have fun and enjoy time with daughter!

 

[SoonerSarah]

I would have also left if the coughing was loud and frequent enough.

However, if there was yelling, or anything more than a simple, your childs coughing was a serious destraction for us during the show, then they were out of line.

I'm honestly surprised by the amount of posters saying she should have taken to into a restaurant. The people in the show paid money to get into the park. The people in the restaurant paid money to get into the park and money to get their food. Generally, others don't like someone being around them coughing when they are trying to enjoy a meal and a rest. Asthma or not doesn't really matter because the people in the show and in the restaurant don't know the medical condition of another patron.

 

[MamaJessie]

Maybe because you don't confront inconsideration with rudeness. Maybe because we will never return to a being a civil society if our only response to a negative situation is to make it even worse. And maybe because bad behaviour does not excuse more bad behaviour in return.

I expect to hear crying and coughing from kids because yes they are kids, but if either can not be brought under control quickly then I expect the parents to take the child somewhere else.

Agree completely.

 

[southern_redhead]

Why does everyone keep saying they know "that" cough? I'm sure everyone's asthma attack doesn't sound 100% the same. My mom is severly asthmatic, her attacks have always sounded more like heavy sighing. She is constantly trying to draw a breath. Sometimes she has a short, dry cough with it. It sounds like she's clearing her throat. Not a loud, seal like bark.

I only suffer asthma when I have a respiratory infection. I'm not sure if it's a side effect of the RI but I always have the long, loud, seal like barking cough. Even if I'm not in severe distress.

My point is that my mother's is severe enough that she's been hospitalized for it. Mine is so slight I just use an inhaler once or twice during my illness and I'm fine. To hear us, though, you'd think mine was the worse of the two. So how can anyone presume to know exactly what her DD sounded like?

It sounds like the OP had plans to leave if she thought she needed to, that she didn't seemed to ME to mean that she didn't think anyone else noticed the attack. She said the woman confronted her AFTER the show, had the woman turned around a time or two perhaps the OP would have noticed and assumed it was disturbing to someone. What bothers me MOST is that the older guy called her a bad mother because she didn't get her daughter medical attention. It just seems uncalled for. Maybe it's that I was raised in the South, but I wouldn't have phrased what I said the way the older lady did, either. I would have said something along the lines of "My GOODNESS, she's got a cough doesn't she? I heard her coughing the whole show, poor dear. Is she very sick? Can I help you to first aid?" and, were it really bothering me, I might have said it DURING the show to get the point across.

Also, I have left weddings/shows before due to coughing fits. Yes, it's polite. However, I've never been HALF as bothered by someone coughing as I am by someone talking or letting their kid cry/scream. Maybe it's because the other person is in distress and I feel sorry for them?

 

[stazmatic]

Annnnnd.....

The OP is MIA because the majority of people think she was in the wrong.

Figures.

The OP has been in MIA because she was at DHS and Epcot all day. Luckily DD4's asthma has been under control today and we had no incidents.

To try to answer everything as best as I can -

The first and only complaint was from the older lady directly in front of us and it was AFTER the show. DD4 has a very quiet cough and my mother who was 2 seats down from me could not hear it. Another gentleman diagonal from me said he heard her coughing and was concerned for her but it was not bothering him. After we left the theater another gentleman approached me and apologized on behalf of the "rude stranger" his words not mine and hoped DD felt better.

Asthma is a disability so much so that we were in the handicapped section with our stroller/wheelchair for that reason.

Thinking back on it now, I probably should have left. Her cough was quiet and I really didn't know it was disturbing anyone but me. I was too wrapped up in trying to stay calm and calm her down than paying attention to anything else. I was putting my child's needs ahead of everyone else. Selfish? Absolutely! Would you have done the same thing in my shoes? Probably. If you are a mother you know that in the heat of the moment the "right thing" isn't always apparent. We were sitting as far away from everyone as we could and the theater wasn't even close to full.

If I had known that she was disturbing anyone early on I could have moved. I am not perfect. I do know I was doing my absolute best in that situation. What happened upset me and DD to the point of tears and I believe was completely uncalled for. I certainly was not sitting there to be selfish. I was being very selfless by putting all of my energy in to calming down DD, but not thinking about the person in front of me.

Thanks to everyone for the honest opinions. Hopefully next time will be better.

 

[stazmatic]

Why does everyone keep saying they know "that" cough? I'm sure everyone's asthma attack doesn't sound 100% the same. My mom is severly asthmatic, her attacks have always sounded more like heavy sighing. She is constantly trying to draw a breath. Sometimes she has a short, dry cough with it. It sounds like she's clearing her throat. Not a loud, seal like bark.

I only suffer asthma when I have a respiratory infection. I'm not sure if it's a side effect of the RI but I always have the long, loud, seal like barking cough. Even if I'm not in severe distress.

My point is that my mother's is severe enough that she's been hospitalized for it. Mine is so slight I just use an inhaler once or twice during my illness and I'm fine. To hear us, though, you'd think mine was the worse of the two. So how can anyone presume to know exactly what her DD sounded like?

It sounds like the OP had plans to leave if she thought she needed to, that she didn't seemed to ME to mean that she didn't think anyone else noticed the attack. She said the woman confronted her AFTER the show, had the woman turned around a time or two perhaps the OP would have noticed and assumed it was disturbing to someone. What bothers me MOST is that the older guy called her a bad mother because she didn't get her daughter medical attention. It just seems uncalled for. Maybe it's that I was raised in the South, but I wouldn't have phrased what I said the way the older lady did, either. I would have said something along the lines of "My GOODNESS, she's got a cough doesn't she? I heard her coughing the whole show, poor dear. Is she very sick? Can I help you to first aid?" and, were it really bothering me, I might have said it DURING the show to get the point across.

Also, I have left weddings/shows before due to coughing fits. Yes, it's polite. However, I've never been HALF as bothered by someone coughing as I am by someone talking or letting their kid cry/scream. Maybe it's because the other person is in distress and I feel sorry for them?

You hit the nail on the head with this one. Really - a 4 yo cough is not the same as a barking seal or an adults cough. It's hard to describe the sound - but we are talking 2 people that heard it out of 500 or so.

That leads in to my next point - where do you go to get out of the humidity????

Restaurant - um no! I am not going to take my coughing child into a restaurant where people are trying to eat.

Store - AK has few stores and most of them are open, not air-conditioned.

First Aid - I am not a complete germ-phobe but if she is getting over a cold do I really want to go into First Aid to encounter more germs when they can't help me anyway? If I thought First-Aid could have helped me in anyway I would have gone there immediately.

Baby Center - I'm sure all the nursing mothers would have appreciated my coughing child around their babies.

Secluded part of the theater - seems like the lesser of all evils in this case.

I knew she wasn't contagious - but people unfamiliar with asthma have no idea and think we are just spreading germs. Asthma IS a disability and she should not be made to stay at the hotel because she is having issues with her asthma. You wouldn't tell a kid with autism not to try to enjoy the parks or a kid with Down's or any other disability so why asthma? She already feels different because she can't do things that other kids do - why make it worse?

 

[Wadecool]

The OP has been in MIA because she was at DHS and Epcot all day. Luckily DD4's asthma has been under control today and we had no incidents.

To try to answer everything as best as I can -

The first and only complaint was from the older lady directly in front of us and it was AFTER the show. DD4 has a very quiet cough and my mother who was 2 seats down from me could not hear it. Another gentleman diagonal from me said he heard her coughing and was concerned for her but it was not bothering him. After we left the theater another gentleman approached me and apologized on behalf of the "rude stranger" his words not mine and hoped DD felt better.

Asthma is a disability so much so that we were in the handicapped section with
our stroller/wheelchair for that reason.

Thinking back on it now, I probably should have left. Her cough was quiet and
I really didn't know it was disturbing anyone but me. I was too wrapped up in
trying to stay calm and calm her down than paying attention to anything else.
I was putting my child's needs ahead of everyone else. Selfish? Absolutely!
Would you have done the same thing in my shoes? Probably. If you are a
mother you know that in the heat of the moment the "right thing" isn't always
apparent. We were sitting as far away from everyone as we could and the
theater wasn't even close to full.

If I had known that she was disturbing anyone early on I could have moved. I
am not perfect. I do know I was doing my absolute best in that situation.
What happened upset me and DD to the point of tears and I believe was
completely uncalled for. I certainly was not sitting there to be selfish. I was
being very selfless by putting all of my energy in to calming down DD, but not
thinking about the person in front of me.

Thanks to everyone for the honest opinions. Hopefully next time will be
better.

As someone with a DD who also has asthma, I can sympathize with what you went through. I would like say that I may have handled it differently than you did, but to be honest, I don't know that I would have. It's easy for a bunch of Monday morning quarterbacks to come along and nitpick every decision you made, but actually being in the moment is an entirely different animal. You did the best you could in the situation you were dealing with at the time, and that's all anyone can expect of you. Good luck and have a great vacation.

 

[*Seanaci*]

Op, I am so sorry you were put in such a tricky situation. I do hope your daughter bounced back quickly that day and that the rude people who yelled at you (after the first couple chimed in after the show) didn't ruin the rest of your day or your trip.

That being said. I am...always amazed at posts like this and the response they garner. Especially the ruder posters. She simply asked what YOU would have done...NOT what SHE SHOULD HAVE done. Or whether or not she was rude for not taking her daughter out. Sheesh. Judge much?

That being said. I personally would have taken my child out...if only for 10 minutes to see if that would settle the attack. If taking her out settled the attack, I would take her back in to watch the remainder of the show. And if being back in the theater (after taking her out the first time) kicked the attack back into gear, I would have left and asked for a FP to a later show (though I'm pretty sure they don't have FP's for them).

 

[*Seanaci*]

Why does everyone keep saying they know "that" cough? I'm sure everyone's asthma attack doesn't sound 100% the same. My mom is severly asthmatic, her attacks have always sounded more like heavy sighing. She is constantly trying to draw a breath. Sometimes she has a short, dry cough with it. It sounds like she's clearing her throat. Not a loud, seal like bark.

I only suffer asthma when I have a respiratory infection. I'm not sure if it's a side effect of the RI but I always have the long, loud, seal like barking cough. Even if I'm not in severe distress.

My point is that my mother's is severe enough that she's been hospitalized for it. Mine is so slight I just use an inhaler once or twice during my illness and I'm fine. To hear us, though, you'd think mine was the worse of the two. So how can anyone presume to know exactly what her DD sounded like?

It sounds like the OP had plans to leave if she thought she needed to, that she didn't seemed to ME to mean that she didn't think anyone else noticed the attack. She said the woman confronted her AFTER the show, had the woman turned around a time or two perhaps the OP would have noticed and assumed it was disturbing to someone. What bothers me MOST is that the older guy called her a bad mother because she didn't get her daughter medical attention. It just seems uncalled for. Maybe it's that I was raised in the South, but I wouldn't have phrased what I said the way the older lady did, either. I would have said something along the lines of "My GOODNESS, she's got a cough doesn't she? I heard her coughing the whole show, poor dear. Is she very sick? Can I help you to first aid?" and, were it really bothering me, I might have said it DURING the show to get the point across.

Also, I have left weddings/shows before due to coughing fits. Yes, it's polite. However, I've never been HALF as bothered by someone coughing as I am by someone talking or letting their kid cry/scream. Maybe it's because the other person is in distress and I feel sorry for them?

Ditto your whole post.

As someone with a DD who also has asthma, I can sympathize with what you went through. I would like say that I may have handled it differently than you did, but to be honest, I don't know that I would have. It's easy for a bunch of Monday morning quarterbacks to come along and nitpick every decision you made, but actually being in the moment is an entirely different animal. You did the best you could in the situation you were dealing with at the time, and that's all anyone can expect of you. Good luck and have a great vacation.

Ditto. I think people are too quick to assume things...and rarely put themselves in the OP's shoes.

 

[Mama Who]

I'm sorry, but how hard is it to realize that noise during a show is disturbing.

Maybe it should be obvious, but if you live with a noise constantly it can start to fade.

I was at a movie once and a lady sat down with some sort of severe respiratory issue. She had an apparatus and sounded (forgive me, but it's the best analogy) exactly like Darth Vader. I *knew* I could not enjoy a movie sitting near her. I also knew that she probably didn't realize just how noisy she was- and couldn't help it anyway. I moved.

I would figure either the noisy family didn't know how noisy they were or didn't care and either way, I'd move. Whether OP was wrong not to handle it herself, moving is the only way to avoid having the show ruined. The older couple had choices and I don't think sitting there getting madder through the show was a good one. Even if the OP was totally in the wrong, the older couple was just not showing good sense by staying there to be annoyed.

 

[MomtoAlexnWilliam]

She simply asked what YOU would have done...NOT what SHE SHOULD HAVE done. Or whether or not she was rude for not taking her daughter out. Sheesh. Judge much?

You are right, in the body of her post she simply asked what other would have done. However, included in her title was the question "was I wrong?" Most of us took it at face value and answered that question as well. I don't like mean responses but the majority of us answered politely and kindly.

The first and only complaint was from the older lady directly in front of us and it was AFTER the show. DD4 has a very quiet cough and my mother who was 2 seats down from me could not hear it. Another gentleman diagonal from me said he heard her coughing and was concerned for her but it was not bothering him. After we left the theater another gentleman approached me and apologized on behalf of the "rude stranger" his words not mine and hoped DD felt better.

Asthma is a disability so much so that we were in the handicapped section with our stroller/wheelchair for that reason.

Thinking back on it now, I probably should have left. Her cough was quiet and I really didn't know it was disturbing anyone but me. I was too wrapped up in trying to stay calm and calm her down than paying attention to anything else. I was putting my child's needs ahead of everyone else. Selfish? Absolutely! Would you have done the same thing in my shoes? Probably. If you are a mother you know that in the heat of the moment the "right thing" isn't always apparent. We were sitting as far away from everyone as we could and the theater wasn't even close to full.

If I had known that she was disturbing anyone early on I could have moved. I am not perfect. I do know I was doing my absolute best in that situation. What happened upset me and DD to the point of tears and I believe was completely uncalled for. I certainly was not sitting there to be selfish. I was being very selfless by putting all of my energy in to calming down DD, but not thinking about the person in front of me.

Thanks to everyone for the honest opinions. Hopefully next time will be better.

I'm hope she is doing better! And I hope you are enjoying your trip!

I am confused though. In your first post you said "She wasn't loud, but it was noticeable" and now you are saying it was quiet and your mom two seats down couldn't hear. Those are two very different statements. I answered based on your first description.

I also understand your apprehension about your other options for her out of the heat and humidity. Hindsight is always 20/20. Maybe in the future when you go to places like WDW, you could scope out in advance several places you could take your daughter when her asthma flairs up. I am thinking lobbies of theaters (not all have them) or lobbies of rides....cool air yet not disturbing to others. I am having a hard time coming up with many choices at AK. But since you say the theater wasn't even close to full, you could have gone to the very back top to avoid disturbing others. It might help take the stress out of future situations.

Enjoy your trip!

 

[marivaid]

The OP has been in MIA because she was at DHS and Epcot all day. Luckily DD4's asthma has been under control today and we had no incidents.

Alright That's what I thought & hoped. Glad your DD is feeling better.

As for your question of "where can I go?" I find that, at WDW, the easiest thing is to ask a CM. They have places that we don't always know about and, for the most part, they know the park better than we do.
When my sister had a panic attack after Soarin' (do you have a fear of height ? nooooo she says ) a CM popped up from nowhere within seconds and directed us to a quiet area where she was able to collect herself.

I still stand by my original opinion which is 1/ take her out - just because only 2 persons complained doesn't mean that the other 400 didn't hear her - and 2/the couple who complained was needlessly rude.

 

[Mkrop]

You hit the nail on the head with this one. Really - a 4 yo cough is not the same as a barking seal or an adults cough. It's hard to describe the sound - but we are talking 2 people that heard it out of 500 or so.

That leads in to my next point - where do you go to get out of the humidity????

Restaurant - um no! I am not going to take my coughing child into a restaurant where people are trying to eat.

Store - AK has few stores and most of them are open, not air-conditioned.

First Aid - I am not a complete germ-phobe but if she is getting over a cold do I really want to go into First Aid to encounter more germs when they can't help me anyway? If I thought First-Aid could have helped me in anyway I would have gone there immediately.

Baby Center - I'm sure all the nursing mothers would have appreciated my coughing child around their babies.

Secluded part of the theater - seems like the lesser of all evils in this case.

I knew she wasn't contagious - but people unfamiliar with asthma have no idea and think we are just spreading germs. Asthma IS a disability and she should not be made to stay at the hotel because she is having issues with her asthma. You wouldn't tell a kid with autism not to try to enjoy the parks or a kid with Down's or any other disability so why asthma? She already feels different because she can't do things that other kids do - why make it worse?

If taking the child back to the hotel is what is best for them, then yes disability or not that is where I am going, and like I said in a previous post that is EXACTLY what we did.

I think any of the choices you listed is better than a live performance to get my child's asthma under control. Sometimes you have to risk going into one of those places but it is better than a crowded theater with a live show.

And now you are backpedaling on exactly what type of cough it is. My DS has a variety of coughs associated with his astham, in fact he never wheezes, he coughs. His coughs have been hacking, uncontrolable coughs to just annoying little coughs that you would think could be controlled with a cough drop but cant. I would have had him used his inhaler, if that did not work after a bit then I would have removed him from the situation. Like I said I have been there done that and we were out of there.

I am glad she had no other flare ups!

 

[NMAmy]

I would figure either the noisy family didn't know how noisy they were or didn't care and either way, I'd move. Whether OP was wrong not to handle it herself, moving is the only way to avoid having the show ruined. The older couple had choices and I don't think sitting there getting madder through the show was a good one. Even if the OP was totally in the wrong, the older couple was just not showing good sense by staying there to be annoyed.

Moving at the Finding Nemo show once the performance has started is not particularly easy. The rows are quite long so if you're in the middle of the row, it's impossible to get up without disturbing a good number of other people and trying to negotiate in the dark can be dangerous. Also, the performers are often running up and down the aisles carrying big props. I wouldn't want to take a chance of tripping a performer accidentally in the dark while I looked for another seat.

To the OP--I'm sorry your dd had an asthma attack. My dd and my great nephew both have severe asthma so I'm familiar with that helpless feeling during an attack. However, I do have to agree with the other posters that you should have left the theater but understand that that may have been difficult for you because of the circumstances I listed above. I did see several ushers in the aisles, though, who I'm sure could have assisted with helping to find a quiet place. If several people seated around you felt the need to get involved in the conversation, then I'd guess the noise she was making was particularly disturbing.

 

[GinnyEmma]

Maybe it should be obvious, but if you live with a noise constantly it can start to fade.

I was at a movie once and a lady sat down with some sort of severe respiratory issue. She had an apparatus and sounded (forgive me, but it's the best analogy) exactly like Darth Vader. I *knew* I could not enjoy a movie sitting near her. I also knew that she probably didn't realize just how noisy she was- and couldn't help it anyway. I moved.

I would figure either the noisy family didn't know how noisy they were or didn't care and either way, I'd move. Whether OP was wrong not to handle it herself, moving is the only way to avoid having the show ruined. The older couple had choices and I don't think sitting there getting madder through the show was a good one. Even if the OP was totally in the wrong, the older couple was just not showing good sense by staying there to be annoyed.

All good points. I was always paranoid about my kids disturbing others, whether for behavior or illness. That is probably why I feel like i do.

The other people were foolish too. I've been there, done that, too, though.

There is an airconditioned store in dinoland.