I was yelled at after Finding Nemo - was I wrong?

[Leajess99]

I need to add that it wasn't just about the kid being loud( it was noticble but not loud), the older couple felt the kid was really ill and needed help and the mom was abusing her. They were rude, geeze it's a kids's show so if a kid with asthma is going to ruin the show maybe you need to stay at home because kids/people tend to "ruin" things when they try to live.

I'm sorry but Disney and their shows are not just "kids' shows". I have kids with asthma and we have had an issue at Disney with my youngest's asthma on our last trip as it was set off because of an allergic reaction from housekeeping's negligence. With that said, I would not sit in a show and expect others to listen to my child cough.

I do not agree with the way the older lady handled it but she was probably irritated by not being able to enjoy the show. How do we know that the coughing did not interfere with her hearing?? It is disturbing and maybe it did ruin the show for that woman. Not everyone can go to Disney numerous times and you just never know if this was this woman's only time getting to go.

As for the comment about not going anywhere because kids/people ruin things, I'm sorry but parents and people can have a little more consideration for others. I don not find it appropriate for a child to remain in a theater screaming nor do I find it appropriate for a child to be jumping on a bench or climbing over or messing with my family while they are trying to eat dinner at a restaurant. These behaviors do ruin experiences but why should I or anyone else have to stay home because of someone's kids behaving bratty??

One more thing in reference to the older woman, since she did not know the child had asthma, she could have thought the child had any number of contagious illnesses. Maybe she was genuinely concerned for the child and just did a poor way of showing her concern.

 

[Leajess99]

As the mom of a medically fragile child with a trach, I have been in similar situations where we have had to leave something (like my older son's school music show) because my youngest had a cough spasm or too much secretions she couldn't get out (which is probably similar to what the OPs daughter had in a way).

For us, we have the 1-suction rule. If we need to suction our daughter, we will do it once in the show or event because that might be all that is needed to clear her. If it requires more constant attention or more suctioning, we will leave.

What the OP I think is failing to realize is that it is very scary to watch another child choking or wheezing and nothing being done. For those who aren't used to seeing this type of situation, I'm sure those older people were scared to death for your child -- watching her suffer, watching the OP do nothing, wondering "what the heck?" It is likely that the older couple was completely preoccupied with the child and couldn't enjoy the show because they were worried.

For those who aren't used to dealing with disabilities, put yourself in the older couple's shoes for a second? If you saw something like that and had no experience with it, wouldn't a regular compassionate person be worried? As for what they said to you, they were likely saying it out of fear for the child's safety. They don't know you personally, they don't know the situation, but they were afraid for your child, and I feel you need to understand where it is coming from.

As for the rest of the crowd, obviously enough people felt it was a disruption to the show. Should they have "ganged up" on you? Absolutely not. But I do think you need to think more about the other people in the audience and should have left to another area.

Just my two cents...

You put it the best way I think anyone here could.

Little Miss Hannah is so beautiful as are the older kids. I hope you guys have a great trip to Disney especially with all you have been through over the past few years, especially last year.

 

[snow88]

I think that as a mother of an asthmatic child, I would have been quite panicked myself when it kept going on and on and I would have tried to get to the First Aid Centre. Sometimes, we never know what we will do when a situation comes along.

As for the people who said those things to you, they were way out of order. If I had seen you, I would have asked what was wrong with the child and tried to help. I think what they should have done was suggest that the child be taken to the First Aid Centre but that's just my humble opinion.

I'm really tired of people beating up on parents and children. I remember at one time when I was afraid to go out in public with my child because someone always had something to say. "Why does he have a pacifier?" If his finger was in his mouth, they would grab it out and say, "don't suck that finga." Anyway, sorry for the rant. This is a very sore subject for me.

 

[tigger51276]

I hate that your child had an attack while at WDW. That is never good! I have horrible allergies that at times get so bad that I break out in hives and have trouble breathing and/or can't stop coughing. So I am very sympathetic to your situation.

That said, I think you were wrong to stay in a show where your child was coughing throughout the show. Your child was disturbing others no differently than if she had been singing/yelling/kicking the seat of others. Granted, bless her heart she couldn't control it but she was still disturbing others.

I do understand why the couple felt like they needed to say something but it could have been done politely. I am sorry they attacked you. I have turned around to parents whose children are disruptive and politely asked they ask their child to stop doing it. I do it with a big smile at them and their child.

I do have to respond to your comment about there being plenty of open seats in the theater they could have moved to.....it was not on them, the disturbed, to move but on you, the disturber, to move.

So i'm responding to this one, but i've seen other PP also mention that the OP should have moved her seat and not the older couple. If the older couple didn't mention until the END of the show that they were bothered by her coughing/wheezing then the OP wouldn't have known to move. If they were truly that offended by the OP's daughter then they had two choices say something then or move. Personally if there were other seats available then I would have just moved. If someone nicely/politely said to me "You're child's coughing is disrupting the performance" then I wouldn't hesitate to remove my child. You can't correct a situation by getting nasty about it after it's done.

 

[GinnyEmma]

So i'm responding to this one, but i've seen other PP also mention that the OP should have moved her seat and not the older couple. If the older couple didn't mention until the END of the show that they were bothered by her coughing/wheezing then the OP wouldn't have known to move. If they were truly that offended by the OP's daughter then they had two choices say something then or move. Personally if there were other seats available then I would have just moved. If someone nicely/politely said to me "You're child's coughing is disrupting the performance" then I wouldn't hesitate to remove my child. You can't correct a situation by getting nasty about it after it's done.

I'm sorry, but how hard is it to realize that noise during a show is disturbing. Why does it always have to come down to a confrontation rather than politeness and consideration. It would have just been more disturbing to have a conversation about something that should be understood.

The idea that it is in any way appropriate to disturb a theater full of people whether with a crying child or a telephone conversation is incredible to me. I've dealt with sick kids, crying kids, and leaving situations. To broad brush those who think that the op should have had some consideration for others as ignorant, is, well, ignorant.

 

[marivaid]

If the older couple didn't mention until the END of the show that they were bothered by her coughing/wheezing then the OP wouldn't have known to move.

Seriously, you need someone to tell you that a child coughing/wheezing through an entire live performance is disturbing others, you can't figure that out on your own ?

 

[imthatgirl]

Seriously, you need someone to tell you that a child coughing/wheezing through an entire live performance is disturbing others, you can't figure that out on your own ?

I think it is painfully obvious from this thread and many many others that....no....many people can not figure it out on their own and ...yes...do need to be told.

 

[KelnRon]

If it were me and my child, I probably would have moved somewhere else where there were not any people around or sat in the back. I know that I would not want to disturb people around me.

 

[drinkme]

I definitely would have left the show and gone somewhere else.

The last time I was at WDW, I experienced TWICE an adult singing along with the performer. Talk about annoying! And each time, the adult couldn't sing. The dad who sang along with Ariel had such a bad voice I thought he was moaning with pain, then I realized he was just trying to "sing" along!

 

[kandb]

I think it is obvious that the older couple were worried about the child's condition. The older gentleman said to the op "you should call 911". To me, that pretty much sums it up, this child must have really had a bad ashma attack. For so many others to chime in also, the child must have been pretty severe. The mother could have left that show easily and the building the Nemo show is in has alot of areas where you could sit quietly with your child.

 

[serenita05]

I would of had to hit someone.

 

[GinnyEmma]

I would of had to hit someone.

give me a break. Who? The sick kid or the old people?

 

[imthatgirl]

give me a break. Who? The sick kid or the old people?

Where have you been GinnyEmma....violence is always the answer when people upset you.

 

[Mkrop]

I'm not sure whether the OP should have left. How far would it be to take her to the first aid center? Would she get worse on the way there, since she needed to sit and calm her condition? I just don't know, having no experience with asthma. I think I would have to assume the mother knew what was best for her child's condition. Even if that wasn't true, believing it could make me feel better about the disruption to my own experience.

It sounds like the incident made the show less pleasant than it should have been for all parties. I would guess that by confronting the mother, whether she was wrong or not, the older woman only added to the negative situation. I know that if I felt I had been been inconvenienced by someone I might stew on it and complain a bit for while. If I became involved in a confrontation that involved tears, I'd be second guessing and justifying to myself for days. Why do that to yourself?

I know that some people would argue that mother needs to be confronted so she won't do it again, but I think that very rarely works. If she was just choosing to inconvenience others in a selfish way, being confronted is unlikely to change her selfish ways. If she was right and needed to stay for the sake of her daughter, being a good mother will trump her desire to avoid a confrontation in the future.

As for "yelling," I always take that with a grain of salt. I'm a teacher and I have my own children. I can't tell you how I often I hear kids say someone yelled at them when they mean someone reprimanded them in a regular tone of voice.

Yes I take yelling with a grain of salt as well, OP was most likely already on edge about her DD's condition.

But I do think the couple saying something has helped, in that the OP started this thread, now knows that others think the child should have been removed and her and others reading this may think twice before remaining in a theater in that situation.

DS13 has cough variant asthma, so I know the exact attack the OP is describing. I would have removed my child if he was coughing like that. In fact, we had a similar experience in the Sci Fi Diner, years ago. DS started with a coughing fit, we went to the bathroom to do his inhaler. When that did not work, or work that well, I waved to DH who settled up the bill and we left and went back to the hotel. Another restuarant we may have tried to stay a little longer as we dealt with the situation but the Sci Fi is quiet dining with people trying to watch movies. We didnt want to worry DS about trying to stay quiet when he could not control his cough and we didnt want to have the other guests listen to him instead of the movies.
Once we got back to the hotel and he rested, he was much better. Turns out that was when the wildfires were going in GA and the smoke coming down from them triggered his attack.

If we had been in Finding Nemo, we would have left as well and found the nearest cool spot to deal with this and then decide hotel or First Aid.

 

[dntd]

I'm sorry but Disney and their shows are not just "kids' shows". I have kids with asthma and we have had an issue at Disney with my youngest's asthma on our last trip as it was set off because of an allergic reaction from housekeeping's negligence. With that said, I would not sit in a show and expect others to listen to my child cough.

I do not agree with the way the older lady handled it but she was probably irritated by not being able to enjoy the show. How do we know that the coughing did not interfere with her hearing?? It is disturbing and maybe it did ruin the show for that woman. Not everyone can go to Disney numerous times and you just never know if this was this woman's only time getting to go.

As for the comment about not going anywhere because kids/people ruin things, I'm sorry but parents and people can have a little more consideration for others. I don not find it appropriate for a child to remain in a theater screaming nor do I find it appropriate for a child to be jumping on a bench or climbing over or messing with my family while they are trying to eat dinner at a restaurant. These behaviors do ruin experiences but why should I or anyone else have to stay home because of someone's kids behaving bratty??

One more thing in reference to the older woman, since she did not know the child had asthma, she could have thought the child had any number of contagious illnesses. Maybe she was genuinely concerned for the child and just did a poor way of showing her concern.

Never did I say it was ok to allow your kids to go wild but the OP said her kid wasn't loud just noticable, sometimes asthma isn't loud with caughing and hacking fits. I don't see how a child who is not really loud but just noticable is a major problem during a show. I mean you'll get noise during a show ,bags russle, babies drink( yes they can make noise when feeding!) people blow their nose. I will bring my nephew into all the shows even though he sounds like he has a weeze from asthma but it's due to his lungs being weak from being a preemie.

 

[RMulieri]

Honestly..I don't agree with HOW the people approaced the situation, but I agree with them, Op should have left and gone to first aid or the babycare center.Asthma can't be controlled sometimes, but it is not ok to inconvenience everyone around you either.If it was Concern over a possible emergency, I would have gotten up and found a CM and had them get me out of there and to treatment as fast as I could.I have removed my own daughter from movies/shows for similar reasons.

 

[lost*in*cyberspace]

I agree that you should have left and sought medical attention. I have a son who had asthma as a child and you would be surprised how quickly the situation can deteriorate. Just the fact that you were disturbing other people should have been enough for you to realize that you needed to leave the show.

 

[MM_Bound]

Wow, Hot Topic….
OP, sorry to hear this happened to you. Personally I wouldn’t have mentioned it to you, and if I thought it was serious enough I would have seen if you needed me to get first aid. You were knew that you might need to leave and sat at the back so I will give you the benefit of doubt here and assume that you didn’t think you were disturbing anyone for an extended duration, if you knew you were then I suspect you would have left and returned to a later show. If I saw a group of people attacking you I would have sent over a CM to diffuse the situation or brought you to the CM.

I really only wanted to offer this, a simple response for next time, “Thank you for caring enough to share.” Then move along, no need to debate or enter into a conversation with them, it is just a who’s right and who’s wrong situation and those never seem to end well.
My .02

 

[lost*in*cyberspace]

so I will give you the benefit of doubt here and assume that you didn’t think you were disturbing anyone for an extended duration, if you knew you were then I suspect you would have left and returned to a later show.

I think the OP was well aware that her daughter was disturbing people! She would have been cued in by the first complaint.

 

[Carnie]

Annnnnd.....

The OP is MIA because the majority of people think she was in the wrong.

Figures.