I told them, it was VERY clear. Now what?

[Tigger&Belle]

I don't understand why your husband isn't handling this with his parents. I would have him deal with it--you've done all you can do and they don't seem to listen to you.

As far as the hair, I would either have them bring him in and have it repaired/shaved or I would get the clippers our and have fun. If you lived close to me I would come over with my clippers and do the evil deed. You could make up a story about the school sending me... Instead of Nanny 9-1-1 I could be Hair Repair 9-1-1!

 

[MouseWorshipin]

He will pay, oh yes, he will pay.

You sound so much like me! I just assumed the kid would face the consequences of his actions...which he should. Good for you!

 

[Beth76]

omg i am so srry wat are u going to tell the school and wat is the school think

Huh?

 

[nliedel]

Tigger&belle

You know that passive aggressive thing someone pointed out? Well he inherited it. He is MUCH better but confronting his family is still something he has a hard time with. He does but it takes something major, moreso than this. He has come a long way and I am proud of him. It's just hard for him to confront his parents. He will put his foot down over any more haircuts (I won't say a word) but that will be it. He is a very gentle and wonderful man in most repsects but not perfect and I don't think I could stand it if he was

 

[nliedel]

Huh?

I assume that meant "what am I going to tell the school and what will they think?"

I am going to let him handle it. I am not into humiliating the guy, that is why I will be there. As for Mr. Meyer? Probably not much. He is young and pretty cool so I suspect he will understand. Not be happy, but understand.

 

[tmt martins]

The Husband isn't handleing it because like she said "they were very strict with HIM" His thinking is I never had a chance to do these things why should I stop my kids from having fun.

( I did the same with DD My MOM never let us get Hightop Converse growing up ,So when DD asked for a pair I bought them against DW wishes,Boy the look when we came home with Black flame Hightops)

They are doing it for the same reason I denided my own now let me make amends and give to the grandkids.They now see these things as harnless (they might be but the wishes of the parents have to be upheld).

It's not going to do any better to tell them now as it did to tell them before.I would let them know what happens at school and give the I told you so >

 

[Cindy B]

8 year old can handle consequences. My son is very crafty and would have done the same thing at the same age.

He's a bit older now, but he has done those things in the past.

 

[Tigger&Belle]

Tigger&belle

You know that passive aggressive thing someone pointed out? Well he inherited it. He is MUCH better but confronting his family is still something he has a hard time with. He does but it takes something major, moreso than this.

If your DH won't speak up, I'd ask your son what he thinks should happen. I'd lean towards bringing him to school the way he is, but I would give him the option of having his head shaved or the top cut a LOT shorter tomorrow before he goes to school on Monday, but if chooses that option, I would have him work off the $ for the haircut unless you happen to already have clippers. But it would give him one more chance to think through his decision--we all make the wrong decisions at times and I think this would give him a chance to get himself out of this situation before it's any worse. Of course you might be able to read the dress code and find out that he'll only get a warning and will have to get a hiarcut before returning to school, which won't be too bad for him.

 

[nliedel]

I think it reads like it's a warning. I just e-mailed Mr. Meyer about it and am hoping he checks it tomorrow. I told him to call anytime.

The miscreant says he wants to wait and see. He has it all thought out in his mind at this point. Right now I am at the schools website pointing out the dress code to him. (Bless alt+tab). He was reading it to me so he does understand and knows this is not my choice.

He does have all day tomorrow to think about it.

Yep, if this thing has to be fixed he will be the one paying for it. He works hard doing chores to earn extra money so this will not be a hardship for him.

 

[Tigger&Belle]

He's a spunky kid, isn't he?

 

[dmslush]

I would let the grandparents who thought this haircut was such an amazing idea take him to school on monday!

 

[nliedel]

He's a spunky kid, isn't he?

This child is my mother's curse. Somewhere in the afterlife she is laughing her fanny off right this very moment. Gosh I miss her.

Having Mom and Dad take him has its appeal but they are not as soft a place to land when the world falls apart as I am. He might really need me this time, so I think I will be there.

 

[Saffron]

Well since you asked ...

I really believe it's something that you, as his parent, have to handle. The school has all ready made their position known by addressing the issue of mohawks in the school dress code. From what I gather your son knew this before he got his haircut. It's now up to you to step up and make the consequences for not only breaking the school's rules, but for breaking your rules as well. I think the mohawk has to go before he goes back to school on Monday, just my opinion.

As far as your in-laws go, not much you can do there if you don't want to make waves. I understand.

I like the idea another poster posted about cutting the mohawk now, but letting him have one for the summer. Seems reasonable to me, but it also shows your son that your rules are your rules and he needs to follow them regardless of what anyone else thinks or does. You said no mohawks, he should not have a mohawk.

 

[MerryPoppins]

I can understand that you don't want to make waves and that's your choice. I used to be the same way.

I will say, from my personal experiences, that if you let in-laws get by with this sort of stuff they can get worse. Mine did. They were very passive aggressive with me and made my life miserable until the straw that broke the camels back. I think they thought they could dish it out and I'd always continue to take it, but the time came when I said ENOUGH! I hope that never happens to you. My husband was like yours and he finally had to tell them that if they were trying to make him choose between his parents and his wife - they weren't going to like his decision. But that was a long time coming.

I'm not sure what I'd do as far as Monday is concerned. In our district, breaking the dress code gets you sent home until you meet the code. That could be a reward in a way. I mean, he's going to school, in front of his buddies, looking cool and then he gets to miss school. Hmmmm.

I might tell him he has to shave it off or pay to shave it off since he broke the rules. But whatever you decide, I'm sorry this happened.

 

[Randi]

IMHO, the OP has the best attitude I have heard in a loooong time. Kids will be kids, grandparents will be grandparents. The "haircut" will be one of those family stories that will bring back great memories for years to come.

School may be a problem, but who knows. They may think its funny, too. It's not like you defied the "rules" on purpose. Good idea to forewarn the teacher though.

Sometimes we as parents, can just be too rigid with our authority. Perhaps out of responsibility, maybe from fear of failure, but a sense of humor goes a long way. When my kids were with their grandparents, grandparents ruled. I knew there was no one on earth who loved them as much as me except them. And if they wanted to do silly things that they never would do at home, well so what? (Mind you, before you flame me, I am not talking about potentially life threatening activities).

So be grateful that your kids have grandparents to share time and memories with. And laugh together over this haircut, now and in the future.

 

[poohandwendy]

I may be in the minority here, but I don't like the fact that you specifically told the in-laws not to get that type of haircut and they defied you. You had good reasons for not wanting that haircut since it is against school policy, but even if your only reason was because you didn't want it, that should have been enough.

I guess I just feel it is very disrespectful to you as a parent and authority figure to have your wishes ignored so blatently. I know it's only hair, and it will grow back, but still. If it were me, I'd buzz it off with the barber clipper and tell the in-laws next time thanks, but no thanks when they ask to take the kids for their haircuts again.

I agree. They are the responsible adults, no amount of begging for something you specifically stated was not allowed, should make any difference.

I would not be thrilled with him either, but the bottom line is the adults made the call.

I don't think I would drop this because they have made it clear that your rules mean nothing. I would have to say something. Not because the hair is a big issue, but I would have to let them know that my trust in them was damaged. I think I would start by saying something to the effect of 'If we really wanted to leave it up to him alone, we would have dropped him off at the hair salon with cash." I would make it clear that it isn't even an issue of hair, it's an issue of their totally disregarding something you made clear. It's an issue of your having to fix it before he goes to school. It's an issue of his school having rules.

I would want to know where they think the line is drawn? Are they going to just do whatever they/he want/s, regardless of your feelings about issues in the future?

 

[MoniqueU]

If it hasn't been said already you need to get your kids ear pierced to go with it, and maybe a tatoo if its like a birthday or something. That way they will be super cool.

 

[mom2grace]

This child is my mother's curse. Somewhere in the afterlife she is laughing her fanny off right this very moment. Gosh I miss her.

Having Mom and Dad take him has its appeal but they are not as soft a place to land when the world falls apart as I am. He might really need me this time, so I think I will be there.

It sounds like you are a great mom and you really don't need our advice!

 

[sha_lyn]

8 year old can handle consequences. My son is very crafty and would have done the same thing at the same age.

He's a bit older now, but he has done those things in the past.

I just can't understand this attitude. the 8 yr old is a child, the grandparents are 2 adults. They should be the ones handling the consequences.
If I were the op I would insist they come over tomorrow, read the school policy and that they either take the child to get his hair cut again, or they take the child to school on Monday.
If they refuse then I would lay down the law and tell them the boys would not be allowed to go any where with them.

OP
You are talking about 2 adults who are buying real arrows and NC-17 movies for an 8 and 6 yr old.They regularly break rules that you have laid down, and they went against the schools policy. It really appers they don't care about anythign but appearing to be "cool" grandparents. Why in the world would you let your children be alone with these people.

 

[MaryAnnDVC]

This is not the first time they have done this (they took Steven or his first haircut when he was a baby after I asked them not to).

His FIRST haircut? Against your wishes?? Oh, that would've done it for me. No more haircuts with Grandma and Grandpa. Nope. Never again.