I think the end of the world is near...

[reeeoga]

Give me some more baby I can take it.

 

[poohandwendy]

I think spanking should not be made illegal. There are already child abuse laws that cover people who lose control and physically harm their children. Spanking (which is different than abusing) does not physically or emotionally harm children.

IMO, spanking should never be done in the heat of anger.

 

[freckles and boo]

When pray was in school and spanking was allowed, kids were not taking guns to school to kill classmates! I think there is a line between spanking and abuse. It you wack your toddler accross the face it is abuse, if you tap their bottm then it is not abuse. Maybe that is why the childrne of the world are doing things that most thought unheard of when they were children!

Lets see, the murder rate among kids is UP, kids selling or using drugs is UP, Jails are filled with children, children are rapeing other children, kids feel they have to carry guns for protection, the number of gangs accross the US is way up, and they want to take the ability of the parents to spank their children away. I think they should charge the paretnas of children that are breaking the law or hurting/killing others with neglect for not spanking them when they were bad! Maybe if we were still able to put fear into our children then they would not act this way!

So a good "tap on the bottom" is going to solve America's gang problem? Good luck with that one. The fear of disappointing my parents was a far greater motivation than the fear of any spanking.

 

[Alyssa88]

So a good "tap on the bottom" is going to solve America's gang problem? Good luck with that one. The fear of disappointing my parents was a far greater motivation than the fear of any spanking.

I agree Freckles!!

Canidce, the reason why many young people turn to gangs or violence is often related to authoritarian parenting (not authoritative, there is a difference). Authoritarians will spank witout explaing to the child what they did wrong and never getting the child's input on anything. Authoritative parents (like mine) punish without spanking. The links you are making are ridiculous. If a spank would have stopped a child joining a gang, then why did my cousin (who was brought up in christian school and spanked) always get in trouble with drugs and was busted (thankfully) at a gang initiation.

You really cannot draw two and two together. I know I could raise my children to be strong, smart, and kind without spanking them, in fact I have a better chance of them ending up that way without it.

I was never spanked but I was punished, creatively. I never made the same mistake twice because I learn about the consequences of my actions, and how it affects people.

I think if you have hard time coming up with a more appropriate punishment then try spanking, it can work, but the path is different, and sometimes the result as well.

I just wanted to add that when I was younger my MG teacher told me that she believed the reason I was smart was because of how I was punished (she knew bc my mom who also worked at the school was a friend of hers).

 

[C.Ann]

I think spanking should not be made illegal. There are already child abuse laws that cover people who lose control and physically harm their children. Spanking (which is different than abusing) does not physically or emotionally harm children.

IMO, spanking should never be done in the heat of anger.

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I totally agree.. I was spanked as a child too - never "beaten"; never had welts; never had bruises; - but I was definitely spanked and when I was spanked, you can bet I did something bad enough to deserve it.. Never "feared" being "beaten" by my parents, but had a much healthier respect for them (as well as other adults in authority positions); rules & regulations; respect for others; and respect for the law..

If that means I turned out "awful" or "psychologically damaged" because I was spanked, I'll take that any day of the week as opposed to seeing how so many children today manipulate their parents; abuse their teachers; have no respect for anyone; and thumb their noses at rules, regulations, and laws because they're "special" and it doesn't apply to them..

"Spankings" and "beatings" are two entirely different things..

 

[C.Ann]

I know I could raise my children to be strong, smart, and kind without spanking them, in fact I have a better chance of them ending up that way without it.

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Good to know that everyone in my family - extended and otherwise - as well as everyone I knew during my childhood (not to mention my own children) - are ALL "weak, dumb, and unkind" - by your logic..

 

[JennyMominRI]

Spanking.......... Please sir ,May I have another?

 

[jimmiej]

So a good "tap on the bottom" is going to solve America's gang problem? Good luck with that one. The fear of disappointing my parents was a far greater motivation than the fear of any spanking.

I imagine there's a huge difference between you & today's gang members! I strongly believe a good spanking at home would make many of my students behave better.

 

[JennyMominRI]

Oh, I got one like that to last year! The teachers was teaching my then 6 year old that we came from Monkey's and she raised her hand and said "mommy told me that I came from God!" My dd came home from school and told me that her teacher told her that she was wrong and that all people evolved from Monkey's. That night her teacher called me to talk about what happened in school and I said that my daughter was correct and I am not going to sway her from what we believe even if it would only be in the class room. She took her test on it the following week and was given a zero. I fought it with the school and she was given an exception from that test. If they are goingt o teach my daughter that she came from a momnkey then they also need to teach the other ways!

!

The first thing I would do is to call the school and tell them that the teacher does not understand the theory of evolution...The theory of Evolution does not teach that man descended from apes

 

[freckles and boo]

----..

"Spankings" and "beatings" are two entirely different things..

Please explain to me how to spank a child without hitting that child? It is an act of violence, no matter whether you use your hand or a piece of 2X4, whether you hit them on the butt or in the face. If a stranger hit your child you would call the police, but it is okay if you call it discipline? People try to rationalize it because

1- I was spanked as a child and I turned out okay/successful/non-violent
2 -Those brats out there running wild must not have been spanked
3- I only use my bare hand and I only "tap" them on the bottom
4- It hurts me more than it hurts them
5 - I never do it out of anger (which I seriously doubt is true)
6- It is justified in the Bible

Sorry. None of those work for me. Just my opinion, but I agree with whoever said it showed a lack of creative parenting. I also have to say that I don't agree with psychologically abusive discipline either. So I guess I will have to tell my six-year-old that she will never be an elephant zookeeper but will be a gangbanger instead because Mommy refuses spank her enough.

 

[poohandwendy]

Sorry. None of those work for me. Just my opinion,

Exactly, it's your opinion and you are entitled to raise your children the way you feel is the right way. Parenting choices are up to parents to make, IMO.

If a stranger hit your child you would call the police, but it is okay if you call it discipline?

Yep.

5 - I never do it out of anger (which I seriously doubt is true)

doubt it all you want, I know the truth. I never, ever spanked my children in anger. I walked away when I was angry.

 

[freckles and boo]

I imagine there's a huge difference between you & today's gang members! I strongly believe a good spanking at home would make many of my students behave better.

Well, I can't carry off those baggy pants and I would look stupid with a grill!

 

[freckles and boo]

Exactly, it's your opinion and you are entitled to raise your children the way you feel is the right way. Parenting choices are up to parents to make, IMO.
Yep.doubt it all you want, I know the truth. I never, ever spanked my children in anger. I walked away when I was angry.

Fine. Notice I didn't comment on the legality of spanking and also notice the emphasis on the words JUST MY OPINION. If you decide it is best for your children then that is your right. I simply think it is a bad idea and explained my position. I am also the parent of a typical child and an autistic child and hitting is a TERRIBLE way to discipline a child who can't understand why they are being hit. Good for you if you genuinely believe you never hit your child in anger, but I doubt most people can honestly say that. I know I have felt like thumping my kids, and that is the main reason I have an iron-clad "no hitting of any kind" rule in my home. That goes for the parents as well as the kids. Again, JUST MY OPINION!!!!

 

[C.Ann]

Sorry. None of those work for me. Just my opinion, but I agree with whoever said it showed a lack of creative parenting.

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If it doesn't "work" for you, then by all means, use whatever methods you think will..

I was never beaten and I was never spanked on a "regular" basis.. There were many instances when my parents used "creative parenting" - but there were also instances where a spanking was much more effective..

You are free to do whatever you feel is right for your children (well - at least until the government decides otherwise) - as is every other parent.. Just don't expect everyone to share your views - or even agree with them..

 

[GeorgeG]

I guess we can add spanking to the hot topic list with politics, religion, and footwear (see another thread).

Dr. Spock (not the guy with the pointy ears) really messed up a lot of people. While the concept may be admirable, smaller children do not understand reasoning until they understand there is a difference between right and wrong and that both have consequences. Spanking need not be "abusive." Although studies (in Sweden, I believe) show children do not react the same as a puppy when given a disciplinary swat, sometimes it's a much clearer message that they have done something wrong. Perhaps a stern voice might work as well most of the time, but that, too, must be used skillfully to be effective.

I suppose we can all find examples of people growing up with or without spanking doing well or not with their lives, although that perception can certainly be subjective. Next we may see legislation that bans raising ones voice to a child. Agree or not, sometimes a physically harmless swat works. Sometimes children absolutely refuse to believe something hot and will burn them until they touch it and burn their finger. Not the preferred way to learn, but usually they come away understanding what hot is, and no, I'm not suggesting we allow children to be burned... it's just an example.

Wasn't there something a month or so ago about hugs being considered molestation?

 

[Cantw8]

forget the spanking...I say we ride over them with Heelies

 

[C.Ann]

Wasn't there something a month or so ago about hugs being considered molestation?

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Uh oh - not only did my parents spank me on occasion, but I was HUGGED as well! I had no idea I was being "molested"..

"Studies" are nothing more than a bunch of data that can be manipulated to produce whatever outcome one desires.. I prefer to look at real life experiences - and I know what I have seen in 57 years.. Lack of discipline - whether that be in the form of spankings; creative parenting; or a combination of the two - has not done society one bit of good.. Children need discipline - in one form or another - and it's only by trial and error that the correct discipline for the child in question can be obtained..

 

[candicenicole19]

So a good "tap on the bottom" is going to solve America's gang problem? Good luck with that one. The fear of disappointing my parents was a far greater motivation than the fear of any spanking.

I do not think it would solve any problems. Spankling your children for no reason or with out explaining it to them is terrible. however, if they take the parenting power away from parents like they have done in so many otehr ways, then how do they expect our children to grow up?

When i was a child, i was spanked when i was bad. There was always reasons to spank me. I was not perfect, in fact I was down right rotten. It put my butt into gear. BAck then (even though it was not too long ago) it was a given that when your children were bad, you spanked their butts (No not everyone but it happened a lot more then now) because it was allowed. now if you even talk loud at your child in a store (not yelling just stren) you have every face in the store staring at you like they have some sort of radar and are gleaming at you like you did something wrong.

I think if parents would just parent their children then there would not be so many issues with children these days! When our children are bad (Like all kids do not matter how well behaved) it seems like parents are running to the doctors for meds and not disiplining their children! (I know that ADHD and others are common in children and I am not talking about the children who really have it) My stepson is a wonderful little boy while he is with us. no meds or anything. We are firm in our ways and do not sway from them. He does not play any video games rated for teens or adults and he does not have free range of my kitchen. When the light is off, he is not allowed in (Long story that invloved a BOX of icecream sandwiches!) It took getting is tail spanked 2 times for him to understand that he was to follow directions. He is WONDERFUL at my house!

At his house, he hits, kicks and yells at his mohter, screams bloody murder if he does not get his way, runs away, steals money from his mother and so much more but here he knows better. If she would stop worring about being is friend and starts being his mother then she would not have these problems with him! Sometimes it takes more then what time out can do. It is just my opionion. I do not think it will give us world peace but if parents started pareting their children it would help out a whole lot! The kids who are in gangs (some as young as 10 and younger) how can their parents not know? My daughter is 7 years old and I know what she is doing, where she is at and with who she is out with. She does not go anywhere with out an adult including outside to play. She is made to do her homework after school and before she is allowed to go to a friends house I MUST meet the parents several times and have the phone number, address, parents names, if they are going out, if so where, when they will be home, and other stuff. maybe I am over protective for this but I can tell you where my children are and what they are doing. The paretns who are ignoring the needs of their kids, which in turn the kids are turning to gangs and other things are not parenting.

Anyway, back to spanking. I will spank my child if I deem the action bad enough. i will not spank them for spilling a drink but I have tapped my dd's hand for drawing on the walls. I do not think that my children will grow up with any less of a bright furture then yours because I spank them.

When they take the parenting ability away from parents is when the gangs and such start happening. Not sure how that can not be drawn. If they take spanking away, will time out be next? Detention in school become cruel and unusual? I guess makeing my child eat veggies because they do not like them should also be outlawed?

 

[candicenicole19]

forget the spanking...I say we ride over them with Heelies

 

[Cool-Beans]

We don't spank, we beat. Beat them with belts and flyswatters. Also a baseball bat once. We try to do it so marks aren't visible, but dang if we don't get carried away (heat of the moment, you know how you just get mad) and we have to call them in sick to the school when the marks show.

We have to. They don't understand anything else. When they were little, we could lock them in closets to teach them a lesson, but once they can break the doors that starts getting EXPENSIVE!

One said it was "abuse" once and threatened to call the cops, but we told him that he'd get the beating of his life! Then we choked him until he was unconscious, just to drive the point home.

We tried taking food away, but they kept getting sick. Beating is better.