I think I should be ashamed of myself

[mhopset]

Thanks Alex you said it well!

I think some of you are just not hearing me. I said I am fat too, I am also balding, handicap, and I'm ugly! Anyway, If I see myself starting to sway a little and look worse than I already do. I try and correct it.

 

[glo]

mhopset what I am saying is look at your neice...it is easy to be embarrassed, judge her and turn away. Some people need help...some people need someone to care...Being alone with two kids can not be easy...THink about what you can do to help her out. No one helped me...It took me 10 years...to recover and it was because I had friends...not family...friends...who cared.

I am sorry I was so upset by your post....it really did strike way to close for comfort

 

[Robinrs]

I know you said you were fat, mhopset, but you're also male. Males that are fat are treated differently than females who are in this society.

What you lit up in the women on this board was the constant reminder that we are always judged by our appearance. That may not have been your intention but it is the way a woman receives it. At least I know that's the way I did.

My son is a BIG boy. It's an incredible plus for him. The boys in his class fear him, the girls adore him and his coach thinks he's the MAN. If he were a girl he'd be ostracized, judged and picked on. Big is good on a man, it's BAD on a woman.

glo said:

maybe instead of being so critical, you should help her. Encourage her to seek help...I bet she is very depressed...I know I would be...I know I was....when those who love do that to you. There are very few hurts like that.

I agree. You have a right to say what you want here, just understand the reaction.

 

[snoopy]

mhopset I highly doubt you are the only man who would have been embarrassed that someone would think this person was his wife. You may be the only man with nerve enough to tell everyone.

I think its cool that you said it here. Maybe you can get some perspective. It does sound like you love your niece a lot. Hopefully she will see the light if for no other reason than for her son and her own health.

Robin, taking off on what you said about the differences between big men and big women, I'd also like your opinion on this. Black women vs. white women. Is it just me, or do black women seem inherently more comfortable in their own skin than white women? I see so many black women who are on the heavy side who seem to make the most of their assets, wearing clothes that are NOT tents but showing off their curves. White women it seems think God should have made them to be toothpicks. Your thoughts on this?

 

[Robinrs]

LOL, snoops!

There is a definitive cultural difference between African American and Caucasians when it comes to weight. It varies in different parts of the country and the world but no doubt, but in MY world, thick is okay!

When I was growing up to be called skinny was an insult. It was a plus to have a huge behind and big legs. Still is! It was a beauty prospective that was a part of my world. Example: My son thought Trenyce was a DOG but thinks Kimberly Locke is the bomb. She's a BIG girl, and that's a good thing!

 

[snoopy]

You know, I think if you asked all men, not just black men but men of all races and cultures, the majority would say they want a woman with a little meat on her bones. So I wonder where in time women, mostly white women, got it in their head that they needed to be emaciated to look good? I think there are some women who are very small built that look good very skinny, but they are the exception and not the rule. Lets face it, women are MEANT to have hips!

 

[Robinrs]

Cuz, clean out your box!

 

[snoopy]

Swept out, cuz.

 

[WebmasterAlex]

Maybe it is a cultural thing Robin but I have to disagree with you on one point. "big" in a man can be an assett, "Fat" is definitely not!!! Fat boys are teased cruelly, are the last selected in pick up games etc, etc. Fat men have a hard time finding dates. I will agree that weight is more of an issue for woman but it still is not a good thing to be a fat male.

 

[Robinrs]

Yeah, maybe it is a cultural thing.

 

[snoopy]

I think its a cultural thing too. Look at Ruben on American Idol. He is huge, yet women are in the audience with signs saying "Ruben will you be my baby's Daddy?" LOL, I think he is sexy too.

 

[dandave]

nativetxn, Whether or not you'd accept, you're invited to my house anytime. I'm over my ideal weight, myself. I have absolutely nothing against overweight people, or Leslie would have never been my friend in the first place. I initiated that friendship. I wasn't ashamed to be seen with her, or I wouldn't have invited her to my home to walk around my neighborhood.
What disgusted me about Leslie was the fact that she just didn't care. She wouldn't continue our walks, because she was lazy. The doc told her that she needed to get some exercise and cut back on the food. She didn't care about her health, and she was literally taking food from her young child. That child was hungry, because his mother was eating his food.

Yes, I find that behaviour disgusting.

 

[binny]

ok My two cents here. I am on the larger side ( one of those 20 - 30 pounders) I have always been bigger and athletic. I coudl stand to lose some weight and am trying but I will never be a size 2 ( or a size 8 for that matter) but I think being healthy is more improtant than being thin.

When I worked for a hockey team when I was younger I overheard a conversation in the locker room that I wasnt supposed to hear Im sure lol. Anyway, one of the guys was comparing 2 girls one being skinny and the other being a bit larger ( size 12 or 14 or so I would guess) the first guy said " there is no way I would date *girl number 1*, I would much rather go out with *girl number 2* I dont want to feel like a girl is going to break if we go for a jog..." there was a lot more to the conversation but to a man they all agreed. I was amazed! I knew these guys really well and they were the epitomy of male chauvinsts! Yet here they were agreeing that they didnt want a model thin girls to date.

Anyway, like I said MTCW

 

[nativetxn]

Your kids are so cute, binny. I love that purple clipart too

DanDave, I am overly sensitive. Don't worry about anything.

Katholyn

 

[mhopset]

I like larger women, just not to large. Heck my whole family is the type of family where we get in the bathtub first then put the water in.

I agree with Alex about fat men. I guess you would say I was a "big and tall" type of guy. I'm 6'7" and about 290 lbs.

Glo- I agree with you 100%, but I don't think she wants to be helped. She just don't act like she gives a damn.


Now most of you know when you see a person of that size. You are saying to yourself "Damn girlfriend go down the slim fast aisle". Everybody is judgemental when you see a person that big.

 

[SuiteDisney]

Wow, now I'm glad we didn't run across each other when we were in WDW at the same time... I'd hate to see what you'd post about me.

 

[Saffron]

That's a shame that you would judge her by her appearence or be ashamed of her because of her size. I'm glad you said it here too instead of where she could hear you.

I fight with my weight all the time. It goes up and down. Sometime I win, sometimes I lose. Let me tell you about a story about mt uncle.

When one of my uncles died a little while back, I was embarrassed and ashamed to go to his funeral because I was on one of my weight swings. I hadn't seen members of my family for awhile and I didn't want them to be ashamed of me. As we gathered outside the funeral home before going in for the dreaded viewing, my Uncle George approached me. I hadn't seen him for about 3 years. Even though he is one of my favorite uncles and I love him dearly, I kind of hung my head hoping he would walk by. But -- he didn't. He walked right up to me, grabbed my face with both his hands and said, " Oh my Margie (my family calls me Margie) you are so BEAUTIFUL!" Then he kissed my forehead and hugged me tight. That's what uncles in my family do. I would have been crushed to the soul if he had moved away from me because he didn't want to be seen with me.

 

[mhopset]

NOW LAURA----I will tell you the same thing I told Kath. You know better than that.


Ok since 90% of you guys think I am a JERK. Tell me this and be honest. If you seen me, being my size and in my scooter. What would be the first thing that came to your mind?

I know what it would be. "look at that big lazy man living off my money and the nerve of him to spend my tax dollars riding around in that scooter bringing his family to WDW.

Now come on admit it. Do you look at the people getting out of their cars while parked in a handicap space and think " Whats wrong with them they don't look handicap"

"They are just in that scooter so they can get to the front of the line"

"Fat pig if he would loose some weight maybe he could walk around WDW and not use that scooter"

You know all of you have had thoughts just like this right, right
come on admit it you won't hurt my feelings because I have heard it all. BTW before you all say I am off topic. I know that!

 

[WebmasterAlex]

That's not off topic... how you feel seems to be the topic..

Welcome to The Real World---- DIS edition

 

[Saffron]

mhopset -- I have never thought any such thing about a person and their weight and the "slimfast isle" in my lifetime! Nor will I ever! Just because you think such things, doesn't mean anyone else does!

I judge people for who they are and how they treat others, not what they look like.