I need help.

[AlaskaMOM]

Op you have come to the right place to have others "help" you in your weight loss goals.
Many of the people on the WISH boards have "been there done that" or are right now "doing it".
But I think the best reason this board is helpful is that you don't "know" any one here, they can't see you or judge you on how you look; so you can be honest: with us and with yourself!

So speaking of honesty I'll go
I used to be a very active member of WISH; lost lots of weight, even won a biggest loser challenge way back when. (2006)

I started my weight loss at about 235 and I lost 60-65 pounds.
Was OK at being around 175. But gained back a few and settled in at about 190. (2007-2008)
OK dealing with it.
Then got a bee in my bonnet and wanted to lose a bit more, so I lost about 20 more and was sitting at about 170. this was the end of 2008 and into the spring and summer of 09. This was great I was feeling good, was exercising almost everday, had lots of energy.

Then a tradegedy hit my family and I just didn't care!!
Aug 6, 09 my 19 y/o son was killed in a car accident.

For the first week or 2 I don't think I hardly ate anything - honestly I don't remember, I know people brought over food but don't remember any details.

Then I started trying to be "normal" but I ate crap, comfort food, and more crap.
I'd give myself a talking to, and try to be good.
But eventually in a day or 2 or a week or 2 I would be back at the baked goods (I love to bake), or chocolates, or Doritos (which is funny because I never really liked chips much before) all the way up to 225!!

So here I am being honest, I weigh 223 pounds and am trying again to lose weight!

I have been good and not "cheated" since Friday.

 

[BernardandMissBianca]

AM

I remember reading about the death of your son. It was so heartbreaking.
I am glad that you found your way back to the WISH boards. I know these ladies and gents have helped several of us through rough times. I'm glad you are back!

 

[brockash]

I'm a work in progress, but it's great seeing everyone's advice. One thing, that seems to work for me, is when I get the obsessive I want such and such food; just repeating to myself, that it's just food, it's just food...it's really not that big of a deal. It's not going to do anything for me, it's just food -and complete crap at that; doing nothing but hurting my body. If I make the decision to tell myself that, I can get over that "I want/need to have" some piece of crap food.

I'd also say, that honestly, I think it'd be best not to weigh yourself daily, or even weekly for a while. I lack the self control, so I still weigh myself every week, but when you're in the process of losing, it can really play with your mind. If I could be self willed enough, I would probably only weigh myself ever 2 weeks, although I've heard once a month is better. Once I reach my "goal" weight, I'll weigh myself every day, because maintaining is different than losing, and I think weighing every day or so, can keep you on track.

 

[MellieluvsDisney]

I've been reading this post and I can so relate to you, OP. Back, in 1998-1999, my weight was at 325 pounds. I was around 22 years old at that time. I was miserable. I started walking up and down my street for 15 minutes each time with our family dog and at the end of that summer my weight came down to 305 pounds, just by walking. I stayed in the 300's for a 2 years and then I got a new job, started going out more and my weight came down to 280. As the years went by, my weight came down but I was also diagnosed with Type 2 Diabetes along the way.

I am now at 240 pounds and I've had diabetes for the past 6 years and my weight has gone up and down from 250 to 240 to 230 to 240 to 250...you get the picture!

My goal is for myself. I don't want to die from diabetes. Already, I've had it for way too long and I'm only 34.

For me, it's to take one day at a time. I already have good eating habits (I don't drink soda, I drink lots of water, eat plenty of fruits and veggies) but my biggest problem is sweets and portion control.

That's what I'm working on right now. I started writing what I eat in a journal (I don't count calories) to make myself accountable. Like brockash said, I'm also a work in progress.