I am SO ANGRY - Girl Scouts Rant (LONG): UPDATE Pg.12

[ducklite]

$600 for Disney? Heck, I'm 27 and don't even spend nearly that much when I go. But I agree with everyone else, call the council. And many hugs to you and your DD.

I agree. I think we used to give DS $50, if that. The trip was about creating family memories, not buying bag loads of plastic "Made in China" junk.

Anne

 

[The Mystery Machine]

I agree. CALL THE COUNCIL.

You need to call your Council ASAP. This is disgusting.

 

[lorimc]

Sounds like someone is breaking the Girl Scout Law:

I will do my best to be
honest and fair,
friendly and helpful,
considerate and caring,
courageous and strong, and
responsible for what I say and do,
and to
respect myself and others,
respect authority,
use resources wisely,
make the world a better place, and
be a sister to every Girl Scout.

Call your council.

from one "nerd" to another!

 

[rie'smom]

Call the woman .Call the council. Get a new troop for your daughter.Whatever else you might do,don't allow your daughter to go off on the trip with Witchie Poo and Witchie Poo,Jr. :

 

[Marion]

That is absolutely horrid and it SHOULD be reported. This is not the intent of this organization and it's shameful that this woman calls herself a leader. I don't know what you plan to do, call the leader and hear it from her and then call the council, or just go straight to the council. Either way, I know how upset you must be and how difficult it will be to remain non-emotional during either call so I will suggest what I do under similar situations. Write down everything you want to say or ask. Sort of script it out first, then you'll get your message across and have something to focus on to help keep your emotions in check. I feel so bad for you both... please tell your daughter this is NOT typical Guide troupe behaviour!

 

[becjlek]

The co leader is just as responsible. By going along with her she is giving her okay to exclude your daughter. Call the co-leader again and explain that since she is just as responsible then you have no choice but to call the council about them both.

 

[MiniGirl]

Actually, I agree with the call the leader and play dumb because you know if you call the council first she will say something like, "No, we never excluded this girl. Truth is she doesn't get along with one of the girls and this girl must've told her she couldn't come. But, of course, she is welcome." It will become a your daughter's word against the leader's word, and unfortunately, I don't think it would go well for your dd.

Oh..... better yet.... e-mail her asking for specifics. That why you don't have to wait until you calm down, and you'll have her written response to you.

Good luck, and please let us know how it turns out.

Hugs to you and your sweet dd, too.

 

[mytwotinks]

That trip needs to be cancelled! Your dd sold cookies/paid dues/sold magazines (whatever your troop did) just like all of the other girls. When you join a troop you are in. This lady needs to let her daughter start some kind of private club if this is how she wants to run things. She can't benefit from the GS and then break every rule they have!

Those girls need to be told they aren't going and they need to be told exactly why!

 

[Mellie2162]

I would call the council and report this. She has no right to exclude ANY scout from ANY outing. I also would start looking for a new troop.

I second this! My DD is always on the recieving end of mean treatment from her peers as well. I can't believe this woman did this. She should not be allowed to have a troop.

 

[mytwotinks]

The co leader is just as responsible. By going along with her she is giving her okay to exclude your daughter. Call the co-leader again and explain that since she is just as responsible then you have no choice but to call the council about them both.

I agree. I would call her back and say "you need to either get a backbone or I am reporting this to the council."

It would actually be pretty embarrasing to be reported to the council. All of the other leaders in your council will find out and most GS leaders are great women who are looking for something that their dd's can be a part of that isn't all about fashion and clicks. This is exactly the kind of woman that the other leaders can't stand! Hopefully they will eat her alive!!!!

 

[Disney Doll]

I like the idea of e-mailing her & playing dumb...something like "My Susie tells me that the troop is going to Six Flags next week. What are the details of the trip? I'd love to come along as a chaperone." Then you'll have a response in writing.

If she doesn't have e-mail, then I'd call her, but I'd do it on speakerphone and have someone in the room with you to be a witness. Make sure you tell her she's on speakerphone...a simple "We have our hands full with baking so I put you on speakerphone. My Susie tells me the troop is going to Six Flags next week. What are the details? I'd love to chaperone". Her response will determine your next move.

If she responds that Susie isn't invited, I'd respond by saying "oh, it isn't a troop outing?" then silence...do not speak or wrote anything else. Put the ball in her court. The report her to the Council.

 

[luv2laugh]

Definitely call the council! That's completely unacceptable! GRRR! I'm upset & I don't even know these people!

I would see if your DD could join a different troop. In our area, there are different troups throughout the city (usually depending what elementary/middle school you're attending). But, there were a couple girls who would belong to a different troop outside of their school.

I would see if your DD could do that! I have so many awesome memmories from when I was in Girl Scouts & I hate to see this witch and her not-so-darling daughter ruin it for your DD!

Hugs to you both!

 

[luv2laugh]

I like the idea of e-mailing her & playing dumb...something like "My Susie tells me that the troop is going to Six Flags next week. What are the details of the trip? I'd love to come along as a chaperone." Then you'll have a response in writing.

If she doesn't have e-mail, then I'd call her, but I'd do it on speakerphone and have someone in the room with you to be a witness. Make sure you tell her she's on speakerphone...a simple "We have our hands full with baking so I put you on speakerphone. My Susie tells me the troop is going to Six Flags next week. What are the details? I'd love to chaperone". Her response will determine your next move.

If she responds that Susie isn't invited, I'd respond by saying "oh, it isn't a troop outing?" then silence...do not speak or wrote anything else. Put the ball in her court. The report her to the Council.

I think this is a great idea. This way she can't lie to the council about the whole thing.

My only worry about the whole thing is if something happens to the leader (like if she can't be a leader anymore ) her daughter might try to take it out on your DD. Definitely call the council and report her, but make sure you prepare your daughter for any mean comments as well. Although, it sounds to me like she already has to take enough crap from this girl!

You & your DD both sound like great people and totally don't deserve this!

 

[Mrs.Toad]

What a horrid woman! That is so wrong.

First, you need to decide whether you want your dd to continue in this *****'s troop. This could be hard because if there is no other troop she can join, she'd have to either stay where she is or quit completely. So first, you could call the Council and find out if there is another troop in your area of the appropriate age. If you can get her into another troop, do it, then report her to Council for her actions. The co-leader has admitted to you that the leader was purposefully excluding your dd. Do you think she'd tell the truth if it was investigated by Council?

If there are no other troops in the area and you and your dd want to continue, I like the idea of calling or e-mailing for specifics to see what's up. Have a tape recorder handy, so if the leader lies about it or excludes her again, you have proof. (I don't know about Nevada, but I've been told that in my state, taping a phone conversation is legal as long as one party knows it's being taped, and you'd be the one party who knows.)

If you go to Council without having the option of moving to another troop, be aware of two things: 1. If they allow her to keep leading the troop, it will probably make things even more miserable for your dd. 2. If they kick her out as leader (which they should!), the troop will have to find a new leader or at least a new co-leader if the co-leader takes over as leader. With so few girls, this might be difficult and might result in the end of the troop if they cannot find someone to volunteer to attend every meeting.

hugs to you and your dd. Girl Scouts is not supposed to be like that at all. I hope you can get her into a better troop.

 

[Mrs.Toad]

I'm so disturbed by this, I went and looked up your Council for you, in case you didn't already have this info. The link has the phone number you'd need to call to report her.

 

[SleepyMom]

Wow, just ... wow. That is all I can think of to say. Just when you think you've heard the worst, I can't even believe this woman, what a horrible excuse she is.

This needs to be brought to the Council's attention. She is planning GS events and paying with GS funds and then picking and choosing who to take like it's a private party for her daughter (sorry, can't bring myself to call her a dear or darling daughter). Your DD is a part of the troop and earning money just like the other girls, there is no way she should be excluded!!!

I would first contact the leader and ask about the trip, she may have already been tipped off by the co-leader, so be ready for that. Volunteer to chaperone, there is no way I would let my DD be around any of them for a whole day without me there to watch. Even if she agrees to let your DD go, still contact the council and tip them off to this woman. They DO NOT want someone like her leading a troop.

Good luck and to you and your DD. Let us know what happens.

 

[Becky2005]

First, you need to decide whether you want your dd to continue in this *****'s troop. This could be hard because if there is no other troop she can join, she'd have to either stay where she is or quit completely.

Not quite -- if there is no other troop & she still wants to be involved in GS for camps or other things, there IS a way to do that. It's called being a Juliette. It's basically an individual GS. My DD had to do that. Our troops tend to go by schools/grades, when she moved to 6th grade her troop disbanded. One troop was continuing but they never met, so I had to sign her up as a Juliette so she could be an aide at daycamp/go to resident camp. The troop was supposedly meeting this year but on a night that DD has gymnastics (I know it wasn't done on purpose, one of the other girls that continued has dance & she was in the troop even in grade school so I'm sure they coordinated with the crazy dance schedule which conflicts with our crazy gymnastics schedule). I know our council has several programs that are for "Just for Juliettes" and basically she can still attend any program a troop could, I would just have to be the one to take her.

As for the OP, it's so completely wrong. I'm sure they are going as a troop since at least at our Six Flags, tomorrow is Scouts Day there and then again June 2. I know anyone can go to the GS council and buy tickets. Plus, the co-leader confirmed it. That's just NOT right besides the exclusion if they used cookie money that your DD helped raise, I know it's supposed to be *every* members money for these events.

I would definitely be calling council.

 

[clh2]

I would also e-mail the leader, and politely mention that it "sounds like a great way for the girls to use the cookie money they all worked so hard for."

I am a leader...currently...but our troop is about ready to disband. So I will give you a little advice - sprinkled with GS troop money rules.

The troop money is owned by the entire troop. At that level, there are no "shares" of the troop that each girl would have earned individually. None. So the leader is extremely out of line taking the money and using it for something that not the whole troop has been invited to. (FWIW - if the girls are still a troop in their teens, they can do additional fundraisers, and have "shares of the troop money" if they are planning a big trip, but everything has to be spelled out and agreed in writing by all the girls and the parents.)

Anyways - handling this by e-mail should give you a either a response of "yes, there is a trip on Saturday, I'm sending out the info tomorrow" or no, we are not including your DD.

I would also ask her how the girls are going to be going through the park, from a "Safetywise" standpoint, and what preparations are they going to take, if someone gets lost, someone doesn't want to ride on a particular ride, how will the buddy system work with an odd number of girls etc.

If she doesn't allow your daughter on the trip (and you will have the e-mail to back it up) then find out who at your council office can assist. You may want to do a little research on the council's website, so you know how things are set up. Our council has service units (which break the council up into smaller zones), and then every service unit is divided up into schools - with a school organizer at each school. The school organizer & service unit manager are volunteers - which is why I would approach membership manager at a minimum. Our council website has all the names/titles/phone numbers/e-mail addresses - so contacting someone at the council office would be VERY SIMPLE to do.

Good Luck.

 

[grlpwrd]

I am so upset right now that I am literally sitting here and my legs and hands are shaking.

A little background before I get into this :My 9 yo DD has been part of a local Girl Scout Troop here in Reno for the last 3 years; there are 5 girls in the troop and they all get along fairly with the exception of the leaders daughter. They are pretty well to do (the leaders family) and have never kept quiet about it, for instance, the daughter gets a $600 allowance when they go to Disneyland..I thought she was kidding, but Mom confirmed it a few years ago The daughter(11) is the creme de la creme of snotty kids; she is nice (I wouldn't even say NICE) when adults are around, but she is completely horrid to my DD when there are no adults around. She tells my DD she doesn't want to hang out with her because she isn't rich like she is; my DD will wave and say hi to her in the hallways at school and DD says she rolls her eyes and laughs; heck, the kid is even kinda rude to me when I try to say hi to her LOL. The Mom (the leader) lets the daughter walk all over her, she screams and rants until Mom gives in and Mom ALWAYS gives preferential treatment to her DD in front of the other girls.

There have been many occasions where the girl scouts have gotten together outside of girl scouts and have excluded my DD; she has been hurt but I just tell her not to let it get her down and to keep being the wonderful person she is. DD has many friends in school, but she is too "nerdy" for the girl scout leaders daughter, so this is why she is excluded. There have been many times where DD has come home crying because all the other girls have gotten together and then leaders DD goes up to my DD and says things like "haha you didn't get to go and have fun like we did", etc. I've made mention of it to the leader, but because these outings were scheduled outside of girl scouts, obviously I cannot control who is invited to those types of functions.

Well today DD comes home COMPLETELY distraught; downright hysterical crying and tells me the girl scouts are going to Six Flags Great America next weekend and DD was excluded. I assumed this was another case of an outside event, but I called the co-leader (who is WONDERFUL) and she tells me "Well, leader DD didn't want your DD to go and it's not my decision, I told leader it wasn't acceptable, but she wants to cater to her DD". I also thought maybe they assumed it would be too expensive for us, but THE GIRL SCOUTS ARE PAYING FOR IT..IT'S FREE. I am BEYOND livid, I started to cry and now I am SO upset, I can't even pick up the phone to rationally discuss this with the leader. Girl Scouts isn't supposed to be like this, it is supposed to be a time these girls remember forever and not for these reasons!! DD is absolutely heartbroken; she won't come out of her room and I can hear her in there crying into her pillow.

I obviously need to talk to the leader once I calm down (which may take a day or two at this rate), my question is, how do I approach the subject with her? I don't want them to include my DD because I am making them, but I really want to know WTH gives them the right to exclude her from a Girl Scout event just because leader DD says so. I know I am biased, but my DD is the sweetest girl ever; she is so kind and loving and yes, she is a little nerdy too, but we love her that way...it hurts me so much that she is hurting and that kids are so darned cruel


Any thoughts?

Yes, definitely poke around the Council website first and take it to them.

Besides becoming a Juliette, you should consider becoming a leader, too. I am sure there are girls not being served because of leaders like that woman. You could probably get parental involvement, get co-leaders, and make it a great troop.

The problem with the G.S. is they just let any ******* be a leader.
Im so sorry DD is having a hard time with this. Its amazing people let their kids act like that.

Those words are pretty harsh. Not everyone in the GS organization acts that way... There's always a rotten apple in the bunch. That leader is and should not be representative of what the organization is all about, kwim?

 

[sydally9367]

Thank you all for your thoughtful replies and words of advice. I did phone the council, but they were gone for the day, however, I will try again first thing on Monday morning. I will also email the leader tomorrow; I know I can't do it tonight because it's taking all my willpower right now not to pick up the phone and rip her a new one. I will use tonight to calm down and get my thoughts together before confronting her tomorrow; I think I will do as some of you suggested and email her asking for the trip details and see where it goes from there.

If there is any good news in all of this it's this is the leaders last year being a leader in this particular troop. She recently moved to a more "ritzier" area and will be taking over a troop at Evil Jr's new school; I do plan on still contacting council because I don't want this happening to someone elses poor DD. As for my DD, she has come out of her room, but she is still very, very upset. I plan on talking to her later this evening and her and I will make plans to do something special together this weekend to take her mind off everything.

It is so upsetting because this has been the first "organized" club that DD has ever belonged to and she truly loves it; I don't want this to prevent her from continuing Girl Scouts and I definitely do not want it to prohibit her from wanting to join other things.

Thank you all again for your advice..I am DEFINITELY going to need a glass of wine tonight