I am sick to my stomach....

[preshi]

I have to do something thats going to make a lot of people upset and I don't know how I am going to do it. I am going to have very little support on this but for everyones sanity it has to be done. My husband and I can no longer stand each other. We are constantly fighting about petty things and it's come to an end. He seems to be in denial and is requesting I go to counseling which I am going to do but I know that the therapist is going to take one look at this situation and recommend divorce.

I know I have said this all before which just goes to show that things never got better they just kept getting covered. My mom is not going to be supportive, she never is when I have something life changing, my Dad will probably be my rock on this one which is funny since he is hardly there for me otherwise. His parents are going to be livid I bet as well as his sister... but these are things I can't worry about right?

I have already worked out a schedule in my head to share our son. Husband told me the other day we make the same amount so no alimony or child support will be necessary... I take whats mine and he takes what's his... One of his rare moments of dealing with this terrible relationship. He deserves better and I deserve to be happy.

Thanks for listening.

 

[Amzey]

Awwww, (((((Meagan))))), I'm sorry.

 

[SeaSpray]

I am so sorry to hear this. It seems that you've given this a lot of thought..... *HUGS*

From experience, I can tell you that whenever you act in your son's best interest regarding handling a divorce and visitation, it's always the RIGHT thing to do, regardless of how you or your DH feels.

One thing I can look back on with good feelings is how ex-DH and I handled the divorce and how we continue to still handle "sharing" our DSs.

 

[nativetxn]

{{HUGS}}} sweetie. Sometimes we have to do unpleasant things in life, sorry to hear this in one of those times for you

 

[CRB#33]

Preshi, I know that this is an awful time for you and understand the sick feeling. People don't like change in their lives and that will account for the problems your relatives may have with this. Just remember that this is your life and you need to do what's best for you and your child.

I know this is none of my business, but it doesn't matter if you make the same amount of money that your husband does, he is required, by law, to contribute to child support, just as you are. He doesn't get out of that becuase you have a job. It's his child too. As for the alimony, there are laws there too, but you can waive that. Your child deserves what his father should give him.

Best wishes and my prayers will be with you.

 

[CamColt]

So sorry to hear this, Preshi, but sometimes these things are for the best. Just know we are all here to support you. Best of luck!

 

[WebmasterMaryJo]

<font color=navy>Good luck, Meagan. It's a tough situation, and though your family may not support your decision - YOU are the one living the life, not them.

Take care.

 

[Saffron]

No advice, no words of wisdom, just {{{{Hugs}}}}. Good luck and best wishes to you Preshi.

 

[jfulcer]

Just my 2 cents worth, take it for to be that much of value.

I agree that people DO NOT change. You have your ways, and your husband has his ways. No amount of counseling/crying/intervention is going to change that.

What I DO know from experience is that counseling in general isn't necessarily about HOW to change, it's about how to deal with the situations that you face day to day. I don't know about your past dealings with your problems with your husband, but IMHO at least an attempt should be made to go to counseling <B>together</B>, to see what the counselor has to say. I would hope that a good counselor would not take one look at yout situation and throw up his(her?) hands and say 'Welp, it's all over - just give it up'.

I feel that even before going to the counselor from your message, you already have the opinion that it is going to fail. I would hope that you could go into it with an open mind with the thought that there is some spark still there that got you guys together in the first place. IMHO, the 'best' thing for your son is if he was with both parents, living happily. If a counselor can't work that out, then maybe it is time to throw in the towel, but you won't know unless you try, with an open mind...

I wish you the best of luck, however it turns out!!

 

[bsnyder]

I'll echo what Sea Spray said. If you and DH can continue to keep your son's best interest in the forefront, you will ALL benefit.

And if the other family members have a hard time, that's their problem and they'll have to get over it. The MOST important thing is that you and your DH will be parents of that little boy forever, regardless of whether you divorce.

Hang in there, Preshi. I'm hoping for happier times ahead of you!

 

[JerseyJanice]

{{{hugs}}}

I'm sorry for the heartache this must be causing for you.

 

[Kitty 34]

Preshi, I'm sorry you have to make some tough decisions right now.


{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}

 

[WDWHound]

I am not wise enough to offer any words that would be of much help in this situation. I just wanted to say I'm sorry that this has happened to you and I hope things will be better for you soon.

 

[Deb in IA]

I know you have been wrestling with this issue for a while, Megan. I'll echo what jfulcer said, and encourage you to keep an open mind in counseling.

A marriage that can be salvaged is worth the effort, especially when young children are involved.

Best wishes to you all . . .

 

[Kermit]

{{{Hugs}}} Meagan, I am so sorry. I'll be hoping and praying that everything works out for the best, whatever that might be.

 

[Talking Hands]

Sorry Preshi. Will be praying for you.
BTW child support has nothing to do with the fact you both make the same amount. He still needs to contribute to the support of your child. Now alimony is a different matter.

 

[dizneegirl]

Best wishes, however things turn out, Meagan.

 

[zurgswife]

{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}

Hope everything turns out OK for all of you..

 

[Blondie]

I always refer back to that old Dear Abby saying; "are you better off with him, or without him?"

Take care Meagan, you'll need lots of support and guidance, not to mention the occasional shoulder to lean or cry on.


{{{hugs}}}

 

[aahmom1]

Preshi, it doesn't matter how much money you make, he still HAS to pay child support. Just because he says it's not necessary doesn't mean your son shouldn't get support in the form of cash from his father on a weekly basis.

Alimony is a totally different story though.