I am sick to my stomach....

[NHAnn]

I'm sorry it is a VERY difficult thing to go through.

I second some other posters comments though, about the child support issue. If you and your husband agree to move forward with a divorce process, I would recommend that you consult an attorney, even if it is together with your husband, for advice on how to legally establish the physical custody and child support matters.....if you can agree that your child's well-being is foremost, all the better, but there is a LOT to work out legally to protect that well-being. Though you may be able to work it out such that physical custody is shared evenly, as children get older with school and so forth (or if a parent relocates) the child will likely need to be at one place as primary and the other as visitation even if custody is "shared". In most states a judge has to approve the stipulations. It's rare for the divorced couples to ALWAYS have the children's long-term well-being as their primary concern, and be in agreement as to what is best for the child. It can certainly be done, with work and commitment from both parties, but for him to be saying right off the bat that child support won't be necessary sends up red flags......JMHO

I hope it all works out for you and that your family can be supportive eventually of whatever you decide!

 

[Towncrier]

I want to echo what Jeff and Debi have posted earlier. If both of you keep an open mind, a visit to a marriage counselor might just work. My belief is that, if two people make the commitment to try to make a marriage work, then it will work. But if either of you think that visiting the marriage counselor is bull, you might as well head straight for the attorneys.

I'm so sorry that things have come to this. I know that it must be difficult and things must be really rotten for you to come to the DIS boards with such a personal issue. I hope and pray that things work out for you and especially for your son.

As for my advice, feel free to take it or leave it. It's just my humble opinion.

 

[pajamommy]

{{{{HUGS}}}} for you, preshi. Hang in there, and we're all here for you.

 

[preshi]

Thanks guys! I wanted to clarify something. I didn't know that child support was something that was a legal thing. Ds would never in any way hurt for anything. My husband is a VERY good father and would never skip out on visitation or deprive him of something. It would be so much easier for us both if one didn't have to pay the other. That really sucks... I am hoping there is some way around the whole child support thing because I don't think that's fair.

As for coming here with something so personal....well you all know about the little girl that I had who was adopted at 2 days old, I've been through 2 miscarriages and a molar pregnancy as well as a small chemotherapy session. Not to forget 9/11 when Tony, Dan and SSB came to my rescue! You guys have always been there to support me. I appreciate it more than I could let you all know. It may seem silly to some people to rely on strangers for advice and support but I couldn't have asked to find a better group of individuals to lean on! Thank you so much!

 

[NurseKim]

{{Hugs}} to you Meagan. We are here for you, as always!

 

[Toby'sFriend]

I'm really sorry Preshi.

I hope that you try counselling first. For the sake of your son, it can never hurt to try.

 

[catsrule]

Sorry Meagan.

 

[tnkrbell]

{{hugs}} If you ever need an ear please feel free to pm me ok??? Its sometimes nice to be able to vent to someone not "involved" in your life!!

 

[LucyStorm]

((((hugs)))) Meagan. I am a child of divorce. Don't let anyone give you that bull**** that divorce is the worst thing that can happen to a kid. Sometimes, living with two parents who can't stand each other is much worse.

Best wishes to you and your family. I hope you find the happiness that you deserve.

 

[Serena]

Megan, I just stepped back from that cliff. I realized that we have been acting out in anger for a long time. I finally figured that out and we are making sure we don't continue.
We are changing.

Maybe counseling would shed some light on a problem for you both. Maybe once that is settled, you'd be able to get along better.

Or not.

I hope you both will make decisions that will help all of you be happier.
Best wishes for you and {{{hugs}}}

 

[DopeyRN]

I am sorry you feel it is hopeless. Makes me very sad when people feel there is no other way out. I am a big believer in counselling. I hope for your child's sake you consider it.

I am very sorry you are unhappy...{{{{hugs}}}}.

 

[Buckalew]

{{{hugs}}} to Meagan. I know you have been dealing with this for awhile and trying to make things work. Sometimes they don't. I'm sorry. I am sure you'll find friends here that will be here for you.
As long as I have posted here there's been Preshi... I like having you around this place!

 

[Boots]

{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}

 

[A kid at heart]

I rememeber reading before that you wanted a divorce, so thats probably for the best right now. Good luck and make sure that you get that support!

 

[helenabear]

No advice or anything like that Meg. Just {{{HUGS}}} I wish you the best of luck with everything. We're here if you need us!

 

[SuiteDisney]

I'm so sorry you have to go through this. (((hugs)))

 

[cotye]

My thoughts are with you during this difficult time. Hope things work out for the better.

 

[JasonLyons]

Im sorry for all of you, this must hurt

 

[bsnyder]

Preshi, I'll just add another thought to this.

Even though you don't think counseling will help save the marriage, I would urge you to consider finding someone that you and DH can talk to. Maybe initially it will be to determine whether or not you really should go forward with a divorce, but even if that is what you ultimately decide, a trained family therapist can be a big help to you in dealing with the co-parenting issues that will arise in the future. Even when you and your DH have your son's best interests in the forefront, there will be things you don't agree on, and sometimes having that neutral third party can help you develop the skills you will both need to make decisions together, as a team, even when you are no longer married.

It's the best thing my ex and I ever did. When I remarried, my DH joined us in our counseling sessions. We didn't have to go often, but it was a big asset to us all!

 

[CaliforniaDreaming]

I'm so sorry. But, sometimes you do have to think about what's best for you.

Hope everything goes well for you.