I’m not imagining things, am I?

[sam_gordon]

Some people are hyper aware and some are completely oblivious. You can copy and paste a screenshot on an iPhone (not sure about other phone models) and a photo will never enter the camera roll.

You still need the phone in your hand. And I think those are photos, not screen shots. So they'll take a little time to get.

 

[robinb]

Some people are hyper aware and some are completely oblivious. You can copy and paste a screenshot on an iPhone (not sure about other phone models) and a photo will never enter the camera roll.

I believe the OP said she was gathering the search information from the iPad which is synced and not his phone.

 

[wenrob]

You still need the phone in your hand. And I think those are photos, not screen shots. So they'll take a little time to get.

A screenshot is a photo. But if you mean taking photos with her phone what robinb says below could explain it.

I believe the OP said she was gathering the search information from the iPad which is synced and not his phone.

 

[ohiomom28]

OP, any update?

 

[WDWDCLDLFAN]

Hey friends, OP here.

What a week. Anniversaries of the death of 2 of my siblings; both of their birthdays within days of each other; finding out that my DSIL’s brother died on Sunday, plus finding all of the crap on H’s internet history.

For several days there wasn’t much to report regarding him/his search history.

Just today I found a couple of things that are scary/upsetting to me.

I‘ll post them now.

My biggest question: Is he planning on not having me on his health insurance through work and is therefor searching Medicare options?!?! He mentioned this once, a very, very long time ago when I went on Disability.
But now??? why? Of course I know why.

 

[sam_gordon]

Talk to a lawyer! Stop asking for advice on the internet.

 

[WDWDCLDLFAN]

Talk to a lawyer! Stop asking for advice on the internet.

You know, you need to read more thoroughly.

im not asking for advice on the internet. I’m basically venting, maybe looking for a little support, and the DISers who’ve been able to explain what some of those internet sites are for, have been priceless

And as I have already said, I have a lawyer. I am following HIS advice.

Please stop questioning me every time I post something. A couple of very friendly and competent DISers have already answered some of the questions you had for me.

P.S. It seems that this thread is irksome to you. Why not just pass over it? Sincerely curious. I wish you well. Also sincerely.

 

[princesscinderella]

Are you both eligible for Medicare based on your age? I'm not sure if you or him are coming up on the age of eligiblity and he is researching it? Maybe once you are eligible for Medicare his company will stop providing health insurance through them? I know medicare and figuring out what's the right choice is very complicated now with all the choices in advantage plans now. I am not anywhere near medicare age to give you advice on this but its just my thought. I did read an article that advantage plans are not paying for care and deny coverage much more than traditional Medicare with a supplement.

He is definitely doing something with money and I'm glad you are following the advice of your lawyer.

 

[SteveMouse]

I am not defending your husband. But there is info here that may be helpful.

If you are receiving Social Security Disability Insurance payments, you are eligible for Medicare after a waiting period (husband or not).

That can be a benefit in helping manage health care costs in general.

November is open enrollment for Medicare/Medicare Advantage plans, allowing program participants to make changes in which programs they participate in. It's generally a good idea to be aware of what's in the marketplace so that you can make an informed decision.

Regardless of other things occurring with your family, if you are eligible for Medicare, you may want to consider taking advantage of open enrollmnent.

For myself and my wife, I can't imagine making any final decision about health insurance without discussion, but either of is could instigate research and we might not tell the other person we're looking at something. Not to hide the look, but because we either hadn't gotten around to sharing or there was nothing yet to share.

 

[lanejudy]

Is he planning on not having me on his health insurance through work and is therefor searching Medicare options?!?! He mentioned this once, a very, very long time ago when I went on Disability.

You need to ask him. There are a lot of reasons he might be looking into Medicare. Possibly just early planning (I don't know how old either of you are). Possibly the TV commercials finally got to him. Or maybe it's open enrollment time for benefits at his job. Possibly the health benefits are changing for next year -- different plan, benefit limits, deductibles, premiums -- any number of things can change. Possibly his employer coverage wants to add a surcharge if you qualify for other coverage. He may be looking into Medicare as a secondary coverage to help with costs.

 

[sam_gordon]

You know, you need to read more thoroughly.

im not asking for advice on the internet. I’m basically venting, maybe looking for a little support, and the DISers who’ve been able to explain what some of those internet sites are for, have been priceless

And as I have already said, I have a lawyer. I am following HIS advice.

Please stop questioning me every time I post something. A couple of very friendly and competent DISers have already answered some of the questions you had for me.

P.S. It seems that this thread is irksome to you. Why not just pass over it? Sincerely curious. I wish you well. Also sincerely.

I apologize. I saw one comment from you that said you talked to a lawyer briefly. If you've had more conversations with him, and are following his advice, that's a good thing.

 

[PrincessShmoo]

Maybe once you are eligible for Medicare his company will stop providing health insurance through them?

Quite possible. When I reached Medicare age (younger than working spouse), we switched me to Medicare. Because it was cheaper to do so.

 

[robinb]

You need to ask him. There are a lot of reasons he might be looking into Medicare. Possibly just early planning (I don't know how old either of you are). Possibly the TV commercials finally got to him. Or maybe it's open enrollment time for benefits at his job. Possibly the health benefits are changing for next year -- different plan, benefit limits, deductibles, premiums -- any number of things can change. Possibly his employer coverage wants to add a surcharge if you qualify for other coverage. He may be looking into Medicare as a secondary coverage to help with costs.

This was what I thought. OP, you're eligible for Medicare since you have been permanently disabled for more than the 22 month waiting period. His company may be refusing to continue to cover you since you would be covered by Medicare. FWIW, I personally won't go with "Medicare Advantage" once I turn 65, but that's another discussion.

 

[Lord Manhammer]

Hey friends, OP here.

What a week. Anniversaries of the death of 2 of my siblings; both of their birthdays within days of each other; finding out that my DSIL’s brother died on Sunday, plus finding all of the crap on H’s internet history.

For several days there wasn’t much to report regarding him/his search history.

Just today I found a couple of things that are scary/upsetting to me.

I‘ll post them now.

My biggest question: Is he planning on not having me on his health insurance through work and is therefor searching Medicare options?!?! He mentioned this once, a very, very long time ago when I went on Disability.
But now??? why? Of course I know why.

I am honestly stunned that your husband is either so stupid or so uncaring as to be searching for these things in a browser that traces his history and he could be aware that you have the propensity to search his history. Search History is to tricky because it is a snapshot without any context so your husband could be curious about something or there is a trend. From the stuff you've posted it appears to be a trend. I'm curious if he's using any other browsers or if you have a communal desktop computer that you use that you could check his activities more comprehensively (DM if you want more info on how to do this).

 

[gottalovepluto]

You need to ask him.

ONLY if it comes up naturally/he broaches the subject in conversation or he’ll wonder why OP asked that right now.

Hey friends, OP here.

What a week. Anniversaries of the death of 2 of my siblings; both of their birthdays within days of each other; finding out that my DSIL’s brother died on Sunday, plus finding all of the crap on H’s internet history.

For several days there wasn’t much to report regarding him/his search history.

Just today I found a couple of things that are scary/upsetting to me.

I‘ll post them now.

My biggest question: Is he planning on not having me on his health insurance through work and is therefor searching Medicare options?!?! He mentioned this once, a very, very long time ago when I went on Disability.
But now??? why? Of course I know why.

Bright side- Medicare can be a good thing. Social Security provides access to Medicare for those on disability so start reading up on that on your own so you’re ready to make any necessary decisions without his opinion.

My personal suspicion is he’s looking into this to save money (assuming he didn’t lose his job or that his job didn’t cut family benefits) because he’s cash strapped.

The VC angle is not good. You don’t play in the VC world unless you can literally burn money. Small fish in the VC world are just The Yield. Don’t be The Yield.

 

[lanejudy]

ONLY if it comes up naturally/he broaches the subject in conversation or he’ll wonder why OP asked that right now.

Disagree. OP should definitely find a way to bring it up herself. She needs to be included in any decision about her healthcare insurance. With all the tv commercials it should be easy enough to find a way to broach the subject herself without saying “I snooped in your browser history.”

 

[WDWDCLDLFAN]

Hi friends. OP here.

I don’t have any pictures of internet searches to share today because there hasn’t been anything out of the ordinary, or nefarious to share.

Ok, regarding his Medicare searches. I’m on his health insurance through his job. It is not yet time for him to choose a health plan for next year. Every year he brings home the paperwork and we go through it together and choose the plan that best fits our needs. I really think he was looking at Medicare plans to see how much they cost because if he ends up divorcing me, he may have to continue to cover healthcare for me. Again, this is my speculation, based on knowing him for over 27 years and being married almost 24 years.

Just an aside: my disabled son already has excellent Medicare coverage, so he wasn't for checking for my son’s sake.

So regarding this huge heloc that he wants to take out to invest. I asked him to call his sister (his only sibling) to get her opinion on all of this. And she kept emphasizing to him that the amount he wants to invest is “very concerning”. If my husband came home and told me the same thing I’d tell him no way, but I don’t know anything at all about this trading that you want to do, so I’m not totally sure what I’d say.”.

Then she said something verrrrry interesting…. He was telling her that he’s already made $90k doing small trades (Facts: He invested 16k and got back that much, which he withdrew and put into our accounts [so I know it’s real] and now there’s a balance of $90K in his trading account). So anyway, after hearing all of this, she said “maybe it’s a con and they’re playing the long game. Letting you win your money back and now requiring a large amount to trade”.

That idea hadn’t even crossed my mind. But he immediately told her no, this is all legit etc etc.

There still has not been a date set for the closing of the heloc funds. It’s supposed to be some day this week.

Part of me wants to sign the papers saying I’m aware that he’s taking out this loan, let him invest it, and see what happens. My lawyer told me that even if he takes this loan out and I sign saying that I’m aware, he would have to pay me back from the rest of the equity in our home, so he wouldn’t “get away” with having the heloc money and half of the money from the sale of our house.

I have a bad feeling that no matter whether I sign or not, and whether he wins a lot of money or loses it all, he‘s going to want a divorce. So I need to prepare for that. I’ve already been thinning out some of my old paperwork, old clothes that are in excellent shape but I know I’ll never wear again, etc. I’ve been wanting to do this anyway so it’s more of a reason to do it sooner rather than later.

Oh, I think someone had a question about his internet history and search engines he uses. I am only seeing what he searches on his cell phone. I believe that he has other search engines that do not show up on his ipad and/or he has apps that I’m not aware of that he uses. We don’t have a shared computer. I could log into his laptop but I can’t even be bothered at this point. I mean, what else am I going to find out, that’s he’s really an alien life form or something? lol

Thanks everyone, for being here with me during this time and for verifying that all of this is not just a paranoid imagination, on my part.

I promise to come back here with any and all updates. Gory details, or not. lol



Edited to add: He still has his job. I’m already on basic Medicare; I haven’t had to think about or choose additional health plans because I’m on his health insurance through work.

 

[cabanafrau]

Then she said something verrrrry interesting…. He was telling her that he’s already made $90k doing small trades (Facts: He invested 16k and got back that much, which he withdrew and put into our accounts [so I know it’s real] and now there’s a balance of $90K in his trading account). So anyway, after hearing all of this, she said “maybe it’s a con and they’re playing the long game. Letting you win your money back and now requiring a large amount to trade”.

That idea hadn’t even crossed my mind. But he immediately told her no, this is all legit etc etc.

There still has not been a date set for the closing of the heloc funds. It’s supposed to be some day this week.

Part of me wants to sign the papers saying I’m aware that he’s taking out this loan, let him invest it, and see what happens. My lawyer told me that even if he takes this loan out and I sign saying that I’m aware, he would have to pay me back from the rest of the equity in our home, so he wouldn’t “get away” with having the heloc money and half of the money from the sale of our house.

I have a bad feeling that no matter whether I sign or not, and whether he wins a lot of money or loses it all, he‘s going to want a divorce. So I need to prepare for that. I’ve already been thinning out some of my old paperwork, old clothes that are in excellent shape but I know I’ll never wear again, etc. I’ve been wanting to do this anyway so it’s more of a reason to do it sooner rather than later.

Oh, I think someone had a question about his internet history and search engines he uses. I am only seeing what he searches on his cell phone. I believe that he has other search engines that do not show up on his ipad and/or he has apps that I’m not aware of that he uses. We don’t have a shared computer. I could log into his laptop but I can’t even be bothered at this point. I mean, what else am I going to find out, that’s he’s really an alien life form or something? lol


Edited to add: He still has his job. I’m already on basic Medicare; I haven’t had to think about or choose additional health plans because I’m on his health insurance through work.

IMO your SIL is spot on, and your spouse's response is precisely what the ideal mark would think, and say.

I do not understand your temptation to sign the loan documents and see what happens, so I'll leave that there.

I find your lawyer's advice regarding the loan eyebrow raising to say the least. Your signature on the loan documents makes you an equal participant agreeing with utilizing the equity, presumably for the purposes of the investment and therefore subject to the outcome along with your spouse, win or lose, profit or gain, tax implications, etc. The notion of any lawyer suggesting otherwise defies all rational logic. The practice of law is not magic, nor particularly mysterious in a wide range of matters. Signing on the loan is simple contract law and that boils down to what is within the four corners of the document, period. In order for a finder of fact (judge) to accept that you both agreed to open the equity in your home and are not a part of the scheme to invest the money and therefore should not be held accountable for any loss that may arise from said investment and all losses assigned to your spouse you would need to be able to prove that your intention in signing the HELOC was for the funds to be utilized for some other purpose. You cannot prove that, therefore you cannot prove you are not a willing participant in the investment scheme and plan. It does not take a law degree to see the many flaws in the plan here.

What's the rational, thinking person's temptation to sign those documents? I absolutely can't see it for the life of me. Maybe I'm just the dim bulb or the dull knife and should sit quietly and say nothing.

 

[fla4fun]

IMO your SIL is spot on, and your spouse's response is precisely what the ideal mark would think, and say.

What's the rational, thinking person's temptation to sign those documents? I absolutely can't see it for the life of me. Maybe I'm just the dim bulb or the dull knife and should sit quietly and say nothing.

I agree. You don’t go from investing $16,000 (or $90,000) to over $200,000 at one fell swoop. There are no guaranteed returns on investments even when they are legit. The amount the husband wants to invest, if lost, would put a huge financial hardship on the family if nothing else were going on. Add to that the possibility that this is a long con, and it would be a huge No from me, were I in the OP‘s place.

I don’t think you are being dim, dull, or paranoid about the OP signing the documents. I see no positive outcome from signing them either. The OP has stated herself that divorce is a likely option regardless of the loan. If he wants to invest that badly, he can wait until after the divorce and invest his half. Then the only person he is putting at risk is himself. I’m concerned for the long-term financial wellbeing of two disabled people if she signs that paperwork because she is not in a position to recoup her losses. By signing the paperwork she is taking on the loan liability in some form, if only that she has no deniability when it comes to the debt during the divorce proceedings.

OP, I am so sorry you are dealing with this. I hope it can be resolved in a way that protects you and your son, especially when it comes to finances. You don’t deserve to be in debt over someone else’s foolish decisions.

 

[WDWDCLDLFAN]

IMO your SIL is spot on, and your spouse's response is precisely what the ideal mark would think, and say.

I do not understand your temptation to sign the loan documents and see what happens, so I'll leave that there.

I find your lawyer's advice regarding the loan eyebrow raising to say the least. Your signature on the loan documents makes you an equal participant agreeing with utilizing the equity, presumably for the purposes of the investment and therefore subject to the outcome along with your spouse, win or lose, profit or gain, tax implications, etc. The notion of any lawyer suggesting otherwise defies all rational logic. The practice of law is not magic, nor particularly mysterious in a wide range of matters. Signing on the loan is simple contract law and that boils down to what is within the four corners of the document, period. In order for a finder of fact (judge) to accept that you both agreed to open the equity in your home and are not a part of the scheme to invest the money and therefore should not be held accountable for any loss that may arise from said investment and all losses assigned to your spouse you would need to be able to prove that your intention in signing the HELOC was for the funds to be utilized for some other purpose. You cannot prove that, therefore you cannot prove you are not a willing participant in the investment scheme and plan. It does not take a law degree to see the many flaws in the plan here.

What's the rational, thinking person's temptation to sign those documents? I absolutely can't see it for the life of me. Maybe I'm just the dim bulb or the dull knife and should sit quietly and say nothing.

I agree. You don’t go from investing $16,000 (or $90,000) to over $200,000 at one fell swoop. There are no guaranteed returns on investments even when they are legit. The amount the husband wants to invest, if lost, would put a huge financial hardship on the family if nothing else were going on. Add to that the possibility that this is a long con, and it would be a huge No from me, were I in the OP‘s place.

I don’t think you are being dim, dull, or paranoid about the OP signing the documents. I see no positive outcome from signing them either. The OP has stated herself that divorce is a likely option regardless of the loan. If he wants to invest that badly, he can wait until after the divorce and invest his half. Then the only person he is putting at risk is himself. I’m concerned for the long-term financial wellbeing of two disabled people if she signs that paperwork because she is not in a position to recoup her losses. By signing the paperwork she is taking on the loan liability in some form, if only that she has no deniability when it comes to the debt during the divorce proceedings.

OP, I am so sorry you are dealing with this. I hope it can be resolved in a way that protects you and your son, especially when it comes to finances. You don’t deserve to be in debt over someone else’s foolish decisions.

Ok, thank you to both of you! I’ve been led to believe that I’m only “aware” that the other person on the house deed is taking out this loan. I do NOT want to be held responsible for this loan. None of my personal information has been used for this loan. Ugh. I told him today that I need to see and read over the document beforehand.

Ok thanks…. I need to speak to my lawyer again!